Sunday, February 5, 2012
Week 5: Monkey Suspension
G bought me a set of umbrella lights for photography. I decided to try them out in my basement by tying up a large stuffed monkey in rope and suspending her from the hard point. I learned that I have been tied up enough that I can tie with little help - a simple rope harness - and I pretty much needed little help suspending the monkey. I'm not completely happy with the lighting. I need to do more research on it.
Doesn't she look rope drunk?
She is such a natural rope bottom.
She enjoyed it - and has offered to help in the future.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Wednesday Wanderings
- DJ has decided she likes to run. So, I'm going to take advantage of it and make her my running partner. I realized maybe we could train together to run the Bridge to Brews. And not just because I would get her beer tokens. I think it would be fun. And the fact she's eager to start running is a bonus.
- A friend found out yesterday that I know way too much Willie Wonka - the original. I may have sang parts of it to him via IM.....maybe.
- Work has been weird. I got told on Friday that I'm about to become a #2 behind the big boss. She wants to hire me on and make me a leader in the organization. She sees me as more than just a PM. Awesome because, well, I am more than just a PM.
- I have a couple of ideas for SEAF - the Seattle Erotic Arts Festival. I'm going to submit a few photos. A couple will require me to buy lights. Damn. More photography gear.
- I love the dad from Glee. The way he celebrates his gay son. Awesome.
- I am surrounded by men from different countries - UK, South Africa, Eastern European, and Russian. Holy crap - I have an accent fetish, I think. I often lost track of what they are saying as I'm wrapped up in the way it sounds. Sigh.
- I gave a Dom feedback about the way he's handling a committee he leads. He took it like an emotional child. I'm still trying to figure out what to do with it - drop it or force it down his throat like the medicine he needs. Right now, I think he needs the latter.
- While watching the "What Would Michael Jackson Do" episode of Glee, I kept answer "molest the cute boys". Is that wrong?
- My dog sleeps with his eyes open. It's a bit odd.
- Yes, last Thursday, that was my handwriting. I've had a few people ask. I have insanely neat handwriting. I can't help it.
- I want to go see the new movie about the whales trapped in the ice. Seems cheesy, but looks like a nice movie.
- We have a dress code at work that doesn't allow us to wear cargo pants. I wear them because I dare someone to tell me they are unacceptable. People can wear jeans and tennis shoes, so I don't get the whole cargo pants thing.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Never Pinch a Sadist #2
A couple weeks ago, Veronica at ASM suggested that Never Pinch a Sadist may be a good name for a book on BDSM. I thought it might make a good name for a series of posts about BDSM from my perspective.
I thought I would use this one to talk about my dilema with SG. For those of you new to the blog SG is a kinky guy I used to play with. We parted company last May after a scare made him flee. I have been approached by him and his wife with the proposal to start playing again.
And I'm being non-committal.
Why? I mean, we had great fun, right?
Right.
But the problem is this - he won't learn about things he wants to try. And if he sees my bruises, he will want to know and try whatever caused them to be there. Sadists, Tops and Doms generally (but not universally) are inspired to leave their own marks if they find the marks of others.
There are certain things you can sort of figure out as you go. Spanking, nipple torture, even some bondage can be experimented with and figured out. But there are things in the community that need instruction else you can hurt others in a bad way - in a "hospital trip" sort of way. Floggers, canes, whips, certain paddles, certain materials, suspension, needles - are all things you should learn about before you use them on a partner. And when you start using them on a partner, you should do so cautiously.
I will be the first one to admit - as a friend even pointed out - I am spoiled. I have been topped by people who are considered educators in our little BDSM community. They teach classes and hold workshops on these things. I go into a scene with faith they will pay close attention to me and my reactions, they will not hurt me in a bad way, and they will take my feedback and stop if necessary.
For example, during a public scene with a sadist (that inspired this blog), he had switched back to a heavy flogger after a lot of other impact play. It felt good but suddenly wasn't working for me. Because it was loud, I raised my hand up instead of talking - he saw it, stopped immediately, and checked in on me.
While I believe SG is capable for doing the same - in terms of stopping if things were wrong - I do not like his approach. He is the type who has told me in the past that "he will figure it out as he goes" for things like suspension, whip usage, etc. I told him that the answer would be "no" on my part, but he was still quite insistent it would be okay.
While I tend to be a bottom meaning I have things done to me by someone who Tops me, it does not mean I am uneducated. I do not simply believe that all Tops or Dominants have the qualifications to be able to use the things that they carry with them. I know the basics of where you can and cannot hit people. I know that you need to pay attention to the bottom - read feedback, etc. And I know how a bad pain can end things abruptly.
Because I know this, I am ubber careful about who I play with when things like whips and floggers are involved.
So that is my BDSM advice to newbies who are new to kink or want to ratchet it up a notch, don't be afraid to find someone to educate you. Take a class. Find a mentor. But don't assume that you can figure it out and keep your partner safe.
A locally known bottom recently told me her own kink story of how she got into BDSM. She and the man she was married to made a trip to Spartacus - the local kink store - and bought a rubber whip. The minute she said 'rubber', I knew how this would end. That night, her husband hit her with it. One stroke and she screamed like bloody murder - a bad hurt. Why? Rubber is not a warm up toy....it's one that gets mixed in after a while. It hurts like a mother fucker. (Mother fucker, of course, being a highly technical description.) It was the night she learned they needed to learn about kink.
So where can you learn about it?
Join Fetlife and look up the local education events. Most kink communities have them. Find them and attend them.
Or, Kink Academy is another great resource. Online videos on most every topic. It requires a subscription, but it cheaper than an ER visit or a lost partner.
Lastly, attend events. If you see someone who is single tailing someone else, ask them about it after the scene. Many times they can put you in touch with a local resource.
So what am I going to do with SG?
Clearly he and I need to have a talk beforehand. Boundaries will need to be put in place. And to be honest, if he cannot understand them, I'm not sure we can play again. Responsibility will also lie with me if I do allow it even without his commitment to it. And that is a risk I'm unwilling to take.
I thought I would use this one to talk about my dilema with SG. For those of you new to the blog SG is a kinky guy I used to play with. We parted company last May after a scare made him flee. I have been approached by him and his wife with the proposal to start playing again.
And I'm being non-committal.
Why? I mean, we had great fun, right?
Right.
But the problem is this - he won't learn about things he wants to try. And if he sees my bruises, he will want to know and try whatever caused them to be there. Sadists, Tops and Doms generally (but not universally) are inspired to leave their own marks if they find the marks of others.
There are certain things you can sort of figure out as you go. Spanking, nipple torture, even some bondage can be experimented with and figured out. But there are things in the community that need instruction else you can hurt others in a bad way - in a "hospital trip" sort of way. Floggers, canes, whips, certain paddles, certain materials, suspension, needles - are all things you should learn about before you use them on a partner. And when you start using them on a partner, you should do so cautiously.
I will be the first one to admit - as a friend even pointed out - I am spoiled. I have been topped by people who are considered educators in our little BDSM community. They teach classes and hold workshops on these things. I go into a scene with faith they will pay close attention to me and my reactions, they will not hurt me in a bad way, and they will take my feedback and stop if necessary.
For example, during a public scene with a sadist (that inspired this blog), he had switched back to a heavy flogger after a lot of other impact play. It felt good but suddenly wasn't working for me. Because it was loud, I raised my hand up instead of talking - he saw it, stopped immediately, and checked in on me.
While I believe SG is capable for doing the same - in terms of stopping if things were wrong - I do not like his approach. He is the type who has told me in the past that "he will figure it out as he goes" for things like suspension, whip usage, etc. I told him that the answer would be "no" on my part, but he was still quite insistent it would be okay.
While I tend to be a bottom meaning I have things done to me by someone who Tops me, it does not mean I am uneducated. I do not simply believe that all Tops or Dominants have the qualifications to be able to use the things that they carry with them. I know the basics of where you can and cannot hit people. I know that you need to pay attention to the bottom - read feedback, etc. And I know how a bad pain can end things abruptly.
Because I know this, I am ubber careful about who I play with when things like whips and floggers are involved.
So that is my BDSM advice to newbies who are new to kink or want to ratchet it up a notch, don't be afraid to find someone to educate you. Take a class. Find a mentor. But don't assume that you can figure it out and keep your partner safe.
A locally known bottom recently told me her own kink story of how she got into BDSM. She and the man she was married to made a trip to Spartacus - the local kink store - and bought a rubber whip. The minute she said 'rubber', I knew how this would end. That night, her husband hit her with it. One stroke and she screamed like bloody murder - a bad hurt. Why? Rubber is not a warm up toy....it's one that gets mixed in after a while. It hurts like a mother fucker. (Mother fucker, of course, being a highly technical description.) It was the night she learned they needed to learn about kink.
So where can you learn about it?
Join Fetlife and look up the local education events. Most kink communities have them. Find them and attend them.
Or, Kink Academy is another great resource. Online videos on most every topic. It requires a subscription, but it cheaper than an ER visit or a lost partner.
Lastly, attend events. If you see someone who is single tailing someone else, ask them about it after the scene. Many times they can put you in touch with a local resource.
So what am I going to do with SG?
Clearly he and I need to have a talk beforehand. Boundaries will need to be put in place. And to be honest, if he cannot understand them, I'm not sure we can play again. Responsibility will also lie with me if I do allow it even without his commitment to it. And that is a risk I'm unwilling to take.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Motivational Monday
Happy Monday!!
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Week 4 - Shattered
An edited version of DJ shattering her board with a tornado kick. See all four pieces - he's holding one piece - and the other three are flying.
Weekend Dump
Let's see.....where to begin....
G and his girl friend went out of town to a Steampunk event. Cool stuff. They both looked great with their projects for their costumes.
The girls and I spent most of Saturday morning and afternoon at DJ's taekwondo testing event. She is a black belt, and was testing for the first level on her first degree of black belt. It was a long day of sitting and watching the rest of the testing. Why? Because they start testing the yellow belts first, and then the belts in order until they get to the black belts which are last.
The testing was mostly the little kids. By little, I mean under 8 years old. They were pretty funny to watch sometimes as their kicks usually landed them on the floor. And when the master of the school called them out on behavior things, their responses were pretty funny too.
I did like one thing thought - how the master introduced the black belts who were testing. They sat in a row at the back of the classroom, legs crossed, sitting up straight, no talking like the black belts should do. They did this for hours. When he got to them, he asked the rest of the kids who had already tested "Are you ready like I am to see the black belts test??" The kids cheered. The smiles on the black belt students spread wide - and when he gave them the command to stand up, they all together lept to their feet, straightened their uniforms and stood at attention. The pride they showed and the respect was a perfect example to the others.
There were 8 black belts testing. And they performed their forms in unison with a crispness that was great to watch. And the little kids sat there entranced. When they did their self defense moves, they did it with power as they tossed their partners on the floor. I was wondering what kicks they would have to do when the master announced they had to do speed breaking. Unlike regular breaks where the boards are held with two hands, these boards are held with a single hand. You must have speed and power to break the board - not just power. If you don't have the speed, you won't break the board - just kick it out of the hand.
The choices of kicks were a flying ax kick or a 360 round house (aka: the tornado kick). DJ was one of three girls testing. The other two girls chose the ax kick. Not a bad choice, just a pretty easy one in terms of lining up the kick and all. The boys were mostly doing tornado kicks. Why? Because the board, when broken, would go flying across the room. I knew DJ would choose that kick. It's her favorite.
She was the last one to do the kick. And she nailed it perfectly - breaking the board into 4 pieces - and sending three of them across the room and into the crowd. I was happy I caught it on my camera. So many parents of the other black belts were like "OMG - she is amazing!" My response: "She is, isn't she?" Proud mom. And the look on her face was perfect. Definitely my kid, trying to hold back the laughter at how happy she was with herself.
She went back to retrieve her board pieces, got high fives from a few of the boys, and sat next to the boy who clearly has a crush on her. He was beaming for her. It was quite cute. (Sorry G, but it was.) After they got their patches designating their level achievement, they were dismissed. I caught up with her while that boy was chatting her up. DJ is at least an inch taller than me now. She put her arm around me and introduced me to him as "her short Moe". His response was "Yeah, you are short". Not a good move on his part, but he's young. They said goodbye to each other - congratulated each other again - and we headed out.
Poor G.....she has another one after her. I should also mention that this boy was her partner for self defense demonstration. DJ barely touched him when he launched himself to the ground like she had tossed him hard. The master laughed at him - and called him out on it. Then, made someone else be his partner to make sure that DJ wasn't doing the same thing.
The rest of the day was spent cleaning the house and napping. We made pizza and watched TV and hung out. DJ told us stories about what was making her laugh randomly. Indigo made artist cards. I edited pictures. And dealt with a drama that happened while the rest of the day was going on.
I am on an art committee at our local sex club. Every two months, we do a new show. The guy who leads the committee fancies himself an "erotic art expert". He has chased a few people from the committee already because they don't feel he comes from a place of "yes" but a place of "no". And if he says no, you spend the rest of the time trying to convince him. He and another member got into it. While I'm at testing, I'm getting texts from both of them. I was able to answer most with a word or two answer when he asked me for a further explanation. I responded with "it will have to be later, I'm watching my kid test in taekwondo". I reply back was "It requires a big response huh. Guess that's telling. Sorry I bothered you." I did not like the pissy tone, so I said "no, it doesn't require a big response. My kid is more important than this discussion."
Later, I sent him my response in email. At the end, I said I needed to give him feedback. I told him that he needed to be more open to ideas. That I did not like feeling like I had to referee two adults when I don't referee my kids' arguments. I also told him I did not appreciate what came across as a pissy response when I told him my priorities. I respect the guy, but told him we will continue to have a hard time staffing the committee if people don't feel like they can be a part of the committee. This is the second time in six months where I have gotten an earful about how frustrated someone is with this guy. And the first person left the committee. The current person is talking about it. I'm not doing this anymore.
I made sure my reply was well balanced and not overly emotional or anything. And he replied like he was doing nothing wrong - but the issue was me misunderstanding. Yeah, that's it. <eye roll> My favorite comment was "if you didn't have time to have a text discussion about this topic, you should have ignored my first text." So because I am not rude and didn't ignore the message, but replied very briefly and with a caveat of I'm busy - it is my fault he got pissy? A friend of mine who knows this guy really well read the discussion and said "yeah, I could have told you he would have tried to make this your fault." Monday hanging art is going to be fun. Cause I don't take being patted on the head very well.
G and his girl friend went out of town to a Steampunk event. Cool stuff. They both looked great with their projects for their costumes.
The girls and I spent most of Saturday morning and afternoon at DJ's taekwondo testing event. She is a black belt, and was testing for the first level on her first degree of black belt. It was a long day of sitting and watching the rest of the testing. Why? Because they start testing the yellow belts first, and then the belts in order until they get to the black belts which are last.
The testing was mostly the little kids. By little, I mean under 8 years old. They were pretty funny to watch sometimes as their kicks usually landed them on the floor. And when the master of the school called them out on behavior things, their responses were pretty funny too.
I did like one thing thought - how the master introduced the black belts who were testing. They sat in a row at the back of the classroom, legs crossed, sitting up straight, no talking like the black belts should do. They did this for hours. When he got to them, he asked the rest of the kids who had already tested "Are you ready like I am to see the black belts test??" The kids cheered. The smiles on the black belt students spread wide - and when he gave them the command to stand up, they all together lept to their feet, straightened their uniforms and stood at attention. The pride they showed and the respect was a perfect example to the others.
There were 8 black belts testing. And they performed their forms in unison with a crispness that was great to watch. And the little kids sat there entranced. When they did their self defense moves, they did it with power as they tossed their partners on the floor. I was wondering what kicks they would have to do when the master announced they had to do speed breaking. Unlike regular breaks where the boards are held with two hands, these boards are held with a single hand. You must have speed and power to break the board - not just power. If you don't have the speed, you won't break the board - just kick it out of the hand.
The choices of kicks were a flying ax kick or a 360 round house (aka: the tornado kick). DJ was one of three girls testing. The other two girls chose the ax kick. Not a bad choice, just a pretty easy one in terms of lining up the kick and all. The boys were mostly doing tornado kicks. Why? Because the board, when broken, would go flying across the room. I knew DJ would choose that kick. It's her favorite.
She was the last one to do the kick. And she nailed it perfectly - breaking the board into 4 pieces - and sending three of them across the room and into the crowd. I was happy I caught it on my camera. So many parents of the other black belts were like "OMG - she is amazing!" My response: "She is, isn't she?" Proud mom. And the look on her face was perfect. Definitely my kid, trying to hold back the laughter at how happy she was with herself.
She went back to retrieve her board pieces, got high fives from a few of the boys, and sat next to the boy who clearly has a crush on her. He was beaming for her. It was quite cute. (Sorry G, but it was.) After they got their patches designating their level achievement, they were dismissed. I caught up with her while that boy was chatting her up. DJ is at least an inch taller than me now. She put her arm around me and introduced me to him as "her short Moe". His response was "Yeah, you are short". Not a good move on his part, but he's young. They said goodbye to each other - congratulated each other again - and we headed out.
Poor G.....she has another one after her. I should also mention that this boy was her partner for self defense demonstration. DJ barely touched him when he launched himself to the ground like she had tossed him hard. The master laughed at him - and called him out on it. Then, made someone else be his partner to make sure that DJ wasn't doing the same thing.
The rest of the day was spent cleaning the house and napping. We made pizza and watched TV and hung out. DJ told us stories about what was making her laugh randomly. Indigo made artist cards. I edited pictures. And dealt with a drama that happened while the rest of the day was going on.
I am on an art committee at our local sex club. Every two months, we do a new show. The guy who leads the committee fancies himself an "erotic art expert". He has chased a few people from the committee already because they don't feel he comes from a place of "yes" but a place of "no". And if he says no, you spend the rest of the time trying to convince him. He and another member got into it. While I'm at testing, I'm getting texts from both of them. I was able to answer most with a word or two answer when he asked me for a further explanation. I responded with "it will have to be later, I'm watching my kid test in taekwondo". I reply back was "It requires a big response huh. Guess that's telling. Sorry I bothered you." I did not like the pissy tone, so I said "no, it doesn't require a big response. My kid is more important than this discussion."
Later, I sent him my response in email. At the end, I said I needed to give him feedback. I told him that he needed to be more open to ideas. That I did not like feeling like I had to referee two adults when I don't referee my kids' arguments. I also told him I did not appreciate what came across as a pissy response when I told him my priorities. I respect the guy, but told him we will continue to have a hard time staffing the committee if people don't feel like they can be a part of the committee. This is the second time in six months where I have gotten an earful about how frustrated someone is with this guy. And the first person left the committee. The current person is talking about it. I'm not doing this anymore.
I made sure my reply was well balanced and not overly emotional or anything. And he replied like he was doing nothing wrong - but the issue was me misunderstanding. Yeah, that's it. <eye roll> My favorite comment was "if you didn't have time to have a text discussion about this topic, you should have ignored my first text." So because I am not rude and didn't ignore the message, but replied very briefly and with a caveat of I'm busy - it is my fault he got pissy? A friend of mine who knows this guy really well read the discussion and said "yeah, I could have told you he would have tried to make this your fault." Monday hanging art is going to be fun. Cause I don't take being patted on the head very well.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
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