Day 209 - Giant

Garbanzo is about a foot taller than I am.  It is an ongoing joke about my height.  He put the plate in the highest parts of the cabinet because he likes to laugh as I get a step stool to get one down.  When I complain about it, his comment is always grow.

Garbanzo comes by his height honestly.  His mom tells stories about him as a child looking at his uncles who are roughly his same height he is now and refering to them as "the giants".  He used to wish he was one.  He now is.  And, he is not alone.  His two uncles and three male cousins are all the same height and builds.  There are no questions that they are all related.

This is how I, as a short person, see my husband. 

He is truly a giant.  But, a gentle giant.


The only good news is the fact both of my kids will be tall.  As my sister-in-law (who is about 6' tall herself) and Garbanzo like to joke - they are in the family to bring height to it as we are all short.  I suspect they have succeeded.

Friday Fun

Came across this earlier and decided it was definitely needed today.

You've seen those "Life is Good" shirts/hats/etc?  There is a counterpart out there.  Life is Crap.

Best Manager EVER!

What you may not know about me is that I take care of the people working for me.  I had a mentor who used to say "people make a choice each day they come to work, so you should always make it a good place for them to come by controlling the elements within your control."  I should be clear, this guy was a hard-ass, but he took care of people.

I believe in the same thing.  I've brought treats, brought beer to entice people to participate in meetings, and fought battles for them.

I have also bought one guy sex.

Years ago, a guy worked for me that was about 30, had been out of the Navy for a few years, and took care of our telephone stuff.  He had the mind and attitude of a 16 year old and also a sense of responsibility of a teenager.  Clearly the Navy was good for him because I don't think this guy knew how to dress himself coming out unless someone told him what, how and when.  Structure was clearly what he needed in his life.

The two former Marines that worked on the network team could see this guy's MO right away.  And they constantly gave him shit about it all.  He was an okay worker - required too much hand holding for my liking.  And, I sat next to him in cubicle land, so I overheard WAY too much about his life as he told one of the former Marines.

When his coworkers learned he had never been to a strip club, they took him one night.  They got him drunk and took him to the club where he was convinced one of the dancers had a thing for him and was going to get her number.  They had to explain that she really only wanted his wallet, not anything else that was in his pants.  I think they actually had to physically remove him from the place.

When he started dating online, he would ask absurd questions like, "if her profiles says 160lbs, is that fat?"  I have to give it to the former Marine he was talking to; his response was perfect.  "If you have to ask, you probably shouldn't be dating...anyone."

Through all of this, I learned too much - like he met a girl in California.  I also learned he had flown down to spend the weekend with her & learned that sex was fun with her.

A couple weeks later, our purchasing guy got his corporate AMEX bill.  On it was a whole series of mysterious charges.  He brought it to me because he was so baffled.  It was a corporate card - and he was also known to be a little too trusting with handing out the number to our staff members. 

Four pages into the statement, I found a charge for a plane ticket.  Guess where it was to?  California.  And guess who's name was on it?  Yep.  Mr Former Navy Guy.

The rest of the statement started falling into place after that.  Three dating site membership fees, a computer purchase, high speed internet setup fees, and a few other things similar.

Since we found Mr Former Navy Guy's name on it, my purchasing guy sent him a message with me carbon copied asking about that specific charge.  The guy denied it.  After pointing out to him that the charge for the plane ticket had his name on it, the guy said "yeah, so....I was going to pay it back."

At this point, I should mention that this guy has horrible credit.  He could barely afford his apartment, and the only reason he had a car was because an ex-girlfriend signed the loan for him.  Did I think he was really going to pay anything back? Nope.

Then, after being rather flippant about this situation, so he makes up some story about his daughter (who lives on the East Coast) unexpectedly traveling to California.  Being a good dad who was desperate to see his daughter, he used any means possible to do it.  That's just what good dad's do.  He expected us to understand. 

I mentioned he sat by me, right?

So, I should mention that I heard the days preceding how he was going to go to California to get laid.
And in the days after his return, I heard the same - about how he got laid.  Visiting his daughter?
Give me a fucking break.

At this point, I had HR pulling together paperwork.  He was out of there.  I was done.  In IT, if you can't be trusted with the access to information, then you can't work in IT especially if you used the info so blatantly inappropriately.  It was pretty cut and dry really.  And, his attitude about this was confirming it for me.

When I pulled him into the room with HR to fire him, he got defensive.  No one told him NOT to use the card for personal use.  Yeah, that was going to work.

Then it was a comment that he used the card by mistake - he was supposed to be using his mom's credit card number; he mixed up the post-it notes in his planner.

Then he shifted tactics by saying he was sorry - wasn't saying sorry going to fix this (and yes, those were his words).  And, no, it wasn't.

I knew we would never get him to pay the company back, I got to pay for it out of my budget.  The network guys loved pointing out to me that, in essence, I bought him sex.  And not just sex, but flew him to get it.  I told them not to get ideas as they were going to have to get themselves laid as I was not paying for for any more booty calls.

Mr Former Navy guy couldn't find another job and eventually left town in the middle of the night leaving all of his stuff behind as well as a pile of bills.  He lived in the apartment complex where another employee also lived, so we learned that his mom had to come and clean out his stuff.  Sounds like she settled at least that debt too.  She made a comment that made us think he had stolen her credit card number without her consent.   We also heard from his ex-girlfriend, the one who's name was on the car, she was looking for him because he had stopped making payments.   She didn't have the money or the car, but she was responsible for the debt.

About a year later, I heard from this guy.  Believe it or not, he was still unemployed and looking for me to provide a reference.  My response to him was that we are not allowed to give reference.  (Which technically is true - but is a rule we break for those who were not fired.)  I couldn't fathom what he thought I would say to a prospective employer.

"Yes, Mr Former Navy Guy worked for me.  He did okay, just don't trust him with credit card numbers or else you'll be paying for him to get laid."

I recently thought about this guy when his named showed up on a friend and former co-worker's Facebook site.  The curious part of me wants to find out how things are going for him.  Mainly - did it all finally catch up with him.  The other part wants to stay far, far away from him.  (That's the part winning.)  But, to me, he will be forever remembered as the guy I bought sex for at work.

Day 208 - To Die For

About six blocks away from our house is a brew pub by McMenamins.  Most McMenamins pubs have a historical significance in the area it is located.  The one near us is known for it's previous business - it was a funeral home from the mid-1930s until it was converted in the pub in 2005.

My mother-in-law came over for dinner.  We had all agreed we would just walk to a nearby restaurant, and we decided she might enjoy a burger and beer before returning to Mexico.  (This made me happy because I got to have a good microbrew.  If you are ever at a McMenamins - ask for a Rubinator which is a part Ruby and part Terminator Stout mixed.)


If you are a fan of architecture, you will fall in love with this building.  The iron work is amazing.  The brick work is fantastic as well.  I'm always blown away by how much of the original interior they kept in tact.  It makes me happy they understand and want to preserve the past.


After eating, we walked wandered back to the house.  Our neighbors had planted sunflowers which were amazing.  That yellow house in the background in ours (behind Garbanzo).

Day 207 - Feeling HOT, HOT, HOT

According to our local weather station located about 6 blocks from my house, our neighborhood hit 110 degrees today.  Nothing like going outside and feeling like you stepped into a furnace.  What's interesting is that Garbanzo and the girls just got back from Central Oregon which is high desert, and the temperature which is usually about 20 degrees hotter than Portland was within a degree or two of here.  I think the only difference was the fact the desert gets cool at night.

Work has also been interesting because of the weather.  The "west wing" of the building has been having HVAC issues all week.  While my wing is a cool 68 degrees, the other side was seeing temperatures of 90+ degrees.  I'm really surprised more people didn't start doubling up in cubes on the east wing just to get some relief from the heat.

After getting home from work, we decided to take the girls to the park with the killer water fountain (aka: The Rock Park as the girls call it).  We each got a slice of pizza, sat in the shade (which was still 100+ degrees) and relaxed.  The girls would go sit in the water for a while, the come back.  At one point, I went and joined them.  It was a nice break and really made a difference.

You know it is unusually warm when you see this:

The Weather Channel is filming weather updates - both live reports as well as forecasts for tomorrow.

They also interviewed our Mayor Sam Adams.  DJ was funny because she commented she never sees the mayor.  I pointed out that maybe she should start paying attention when we got to the grocery store because he lives in our neighborhood, and I constantly run into him there.  Also, he has been known to commute via bike, so I've seen him then too.  (He's a HUGE bike advocate!)  She acted as though she didn't believe me.  I guess Derek, Garbanzo and I will need to start pointing him out as we run into him in "The Hood" as we call North Portland.

I had originally started with the idea of walking the four blocks over to get pictures of the Broadway Bridge. The Broadway Bridge as my daughter DJ would tell you is a bascule bridge.  In fact, it the longest rail-type bascule bridge still in existence - and the first one ever built.  (There was a patent competion for it.) Oh, and a bascule bridge means it has lifting mechanism that see-saws upward.  Gotta love the 2nd grade Portland Bridge project for these great facts.

The lifting spans used to be a metal grating which, when wet, was quite fun to drive on.  Nothing like feeling your car slide a bit (or a lot) as you are going over it.  Around 2000, they replaced it with a different material that made crossing during the rainy season a bit safer for everyone.

See that sign on the left - that is the suicide hotline sign. While I'm not advocating anyone jump off the bridge or do I think suicide is not serious,  I don't quite think this is the bridge to use if you want to kill yourself.  It's not really that high in the air off the water.  It will hurt, sure.  But, your chance of survival is probably pretty darn good. 

And, no trip to the "Rock Park" would be complete without a wacky picture of DJ.  DJ, who used to call me "Mo-mo", has now shortened it to simply "Mo".  I asked her why tonight, and she launched into this whole story about Phineaus and Ferb and this pink fluffy alien named Meekie, and ... well, somehow she thought based off of all of that that Mo was a good name for me.  I think Mo fits me a lot better than Mom anyway....so I told her that I could live with it regardless of the reason.


And, because I didn't post the hot picture of my husband that I took....maybe I'll save that one for another day.....I will post the picture he took of me relaxing reading my Kindle.  All I have to say is that at least I wasn't in the park doing blog posts off of someone's open WiFi like he was. :)


Happy Thursday!

I'm Praying for You

My sister-in-law Gwen recently suffered the loss of her grandmother - a woman that raised her for about 5 years of her life, and was more of a mom to her than her own mother.  It was a hard loss.  Her grandma was diagnosed with cancer, and each time they beat it back, it would come back with more strength, or so it seemed.  In the end, she gave up the battle and died in peace.

The day Gwen found out her grandma died happened to also be her and my brother's wedding anniversary.  She found out, in fact, on the way to my parents' house to drop off my niece for the evening.  She was, understandably, in tears.  My parents consoled her along with my brother.  They knew how important this woman was to her - and Gwen had confided many times how scared she was of losing her grandma.

My dad made a statement while he was hugging her that they will be together again one day, so she needs to hold onto that fact and be happy she is at peace.  I think he also said something about her grandma always being with her, as well.

Gwen immediately broke away from my dad and said very firmly that "we don't believe that in my family." Then she wrapped up the good-byes and left.

My parents were a bit dumbfounded at her reaction.  My mom as they were exiting gently told her that she understood - and changed the subject.

Here is the great irony - she is the only one in her family that doesn't believe.  Her sister is a church goer.  In fact, she posted something on her Facebook status about trying to hold onto the fact they will be together again for all eternity when they meet in heaven.  Once again, Gwen lashed out - "Why do people have to believe in that?  When the lights go out, they are out.  Be comforted in that."

I won't got into my own beliefs.  And I openly acknowledge that during her time of grief, Gwen may not be reacting to situations in ways she would normally react.  But, this is just the latest incident in a string.

I am continually baffled by Gwen and my brother's reaction to religion in general.  My parents journey back to religion began after my dad almost died.  Hell, he did die, but my mom brought him back.  The fact my mom reacted to the situation like she did (thus saving his life) was a miracle of and in itself - none of us kids or my dad can believe she acted in such a calm rational manner.  The fact she knew what to do in this situation was quite amazing as she never completed so much as a basic first aid course let alone any other medical training.  And, when faced with even the smallest emergency, my mom freaks out - like, you must remove her from the room sort of hysteria.  All of us believe in some level of intervention that night - call it whatever you will - mom had a bit of help. (Even Garbanzo, the Buddhist adamantly agrees with this statement.)

Afterwards, my dad found Jesus. (He was behind the sofa the whole time - sorry - family joke.)  This really helped him get through the next year when he struggled with anxiety and depression brought on by the fact he no longer trusted his body to not fail.  Religion got him through it.  He and my mom both found support and community and friendship that had been lacking.  They were, for the first time, involved in a community.  They were volunteering.  They were on committees.  They were teaching classes.  They were truly happy and felt truly blessed.

Could my parents be preachy?  Yes.  My dad having found bliss through God was very quick to share his story.  But, he came across not as someone trying to recruit, but someone sincerely in awe of what he had in his life and would freely tell his story of enlightenment.

They could get a bit much with their kids, but it was like they were sharing their favorite book or movie. They spoke of their community and their beliefs with an almost childlike exuberance.  And, it was no surprise given how involved they were in the church and church community that much of what they had in terms of life updates centered around the church.

My youngest brother N wished he could find that enlightenment himself.  As a person who has struggled lifelong with anxiety and depression, he looked at my dad and saw hope.  You will never hear N blatantly disagree with my parents and their beliefs.  If anything, he makes fun (which is really a family trait).  And, just to be clear, he makes fun not of their belief, he makes fun of the drama that occurs at church, the things my mom will mis-speak when explaining a teaching.  In short, he makes fun of the actions, not the people.

My younger brother B and his wife Gwen - well, they are brooders.  They will listen to it - hear it as preachy - and get angrier and angrier as my parents talk.  They will never address their discomfort head on.  So, my mom specifically will keep talking.   And, then it ends in outbursts - not only to them but to my brother N and I on the side.  Oh, and I should also mention, that they act as though my parents are targeting them personally which is NOT the case at all.  They are equal opportunity in their talks.

And, here is the great irony of things.  If they were direct, my parents would back off.  When my dad was getting sort of preachy late one night, I looked at him and said "you know Garbanzo is a Buddhist right?"  From there on out, the preaching ended.  They respected his beliefs - and moved on.  That doesn't mean there is not the occasional dialog.  Garbanzo will share interesting books, for example, that he has read about a particular religion that he has found interesting.  And, my parents will read it and they will discuss it like adults.

Whenever B and Gwen rant and rave about my parents, I look at them and say quite directly "whatever gets them through their day is fine with me".  I will take the preachy if that means my dad will get out of bed in the morning instead of hiding under the covers from the world.  I will take preachy if that means my mom and dad have a social life through church events and church friend gatherings.  I will take preachy if it makes them happy.

So, I can't help but ask my sister-in-law Gwen - in her time of grief - is it really hurting you to have people try to make you feel better anyway they know how.  My parents love you, and they do not like seeing you in pain.  We all feel that way.  And we are all, in our own ways, trying to help you through this and be supportive.  People can say some pretty inconsiderate or even wrong things when dealing with the grieving - was this really one of them?

Day 206 - Stimulous

There is a porn shop a few blocks from our house. Recently, this new sign appeared out front. Clever, huh? And yes, this is Derek posing.

Who You Gonna Call?

Forgive my theme for the next couple days of me bitching about my family.  But, I need to get a couple things off of my chest.

First up, my parents are moving.  They got the keys to their house last week and have been getting stuff moved into the place.  My parents are spending all of their spare time moving and cleaning and just trying to get into the new house & out of the rental.

Two weeks ago, my parents asked if I would take a couple days off of work this week to come down and help them.  Their hope was to get all of the adult children together to get this move done quickly.

I tried to get the time off, but came to realize that the right thing was not to take it off.  Project has hit a critical time, so taking the time off may create unneeded stress.  Also, my boss is counting on me to keep everyone on the right path while she is off dealing with another department.  I need the reference and her network of contacts to find a new job - so I'm trying to not burn that bridge.

I told my parents who totally understand and am sending Garbanzo and the kids down there from Monday afternoon to Wednesday sometime.  I talked to my mom Sunday night to tell her the news.  She's relieved because.....I guess none of my brothers and/or sisters-in-law can help or have been helping.

As Garbanzo commented in his Sunday post, we are on the verge of moving just to demand back all of the help we've given both brothers.  We helped my brother B and his wife move into their first place after they moved here.  Garbanzo went down when they bought their house and helped them move too.  When N moved earlier this year, we made the trip down and helped him move out of that apartment with horrific stairs.  How nothing was broken or no one hurt is beyond me.

They have all been grateful for the help.  Don't get me wrong, but I'm a bit baffled by their inability to help our parents move.  When my parents moved here, they had movers, so the excuse cannot be made that they have already helped them once.

Time wise, I can give my brother N a bit of a pass on this issue.  His work schedule is crazy as a chef, so much so that I barely see him whenever I'm in town.  I saw him for a grand total of 10 minutes when I was down there for 5 days in March.  I get that.  It's the downside of his chosen career.

But B - B has the time.  B has had the time to help too.  While going and playing disc golf on top of Mt Bachelor is a pretty awesome way to spend an afternoon - so is helping your fucking parents.

So, my family is going to make the trek down to Bend to help.  They are going to spend 7 hours in the car.  They are going to spend at least $60 in gas alone.  They are going to help my parents move in 100+ degree heat.  And, knowing my husband, he will move most of it because he is who he is.  He won't want my dad to get hurt, so he'll risk injury himself instead.

I think what makes this more of a point of contention for me is the fact we are doing this because they are my parents.  They have never given Garbanzo or I babysitting services.  They have never dropped everything to come help with a crisis.  They have never given us money if asked.  Neither of my brothers can say these things.  Both of them have utilized the grandparents babysitting services a LOT.  Whenever my niece is having the slightest cough that is freaking my sister-in-law out, my parents drop everything to help her when she calls.  And money - they have both gotten what little my parents have had to offer in the past.

So now it's my parents turn to call, and no one is answering... but us.
I have a problem with this one.

Update: So after writing all of this and scheduling it to post, I get an email from B.  He asked when we were coming down because maybe he'll try to take some time off this week.  My response: Garbanzo and the girls are already there.  I don't know what he's going to do.  I can only hope he does the right thing.  I do know it was a little late in the day for him to actually ask for time off.  I guess I'll hear later.

Day 205 - Hot Dogs

8pm at night, and it's 100 degrees out ... yet.  While I can keep myself cool, I feel bad for our animals.



I know I'm doing my best to keep them cool by giving them plenty of water and cooler places to lie down.  I just hope others are doing this for their animals.

For Those Who Take Things Literally

I figured this would be a good way to start off a Monday.  Enjoy!
The video is totally worth watching.

Day 204 - A Hot Sunday

In an attempt to cool off this evening, we took the kids to Jamison Square - a local park in the heart of downtown.  The park has a great water fountain where people are encouraged to play.

The television show Leverage is being shot in Portland right now.  Timothy Hutton can be spotted with his son throughout the city riding his bike from the set to his place in the Pearl district (which is where Jamison Square is located).   They were clearly filming today.  Must have been some sort of chase scene or something because they had a route cleared of extra cars and were escorting people across the intersection. This is the picture of one of the cameras I got as they were setting up.

DJ cooling off in the fountain and doing some sort of pose.

Garbanzo supervising the kids.

Dinner from our favorite pizza joint - HotLips Pizza.  It was a half ham, pear, and cheese; half corn, tomato, sweet onion, feta cheese, mozzarella cheese, pesto, and cilantro.  Great stuff.  For the record, Garbanzo and I had two pieces.  The girls each at three pieces.  Yes, I typed that correctly - three pieces. And, I should mention that I think Indigo has bar-tending in her future.  DJ told her to surprise her with a drink from the pizza place.  So, Indigo made her a coke, root beer, ice tea and sprint soda.  It wasn't actually half bad.

Indigo showing off her injury from earlier today.  Let's just say, she won't be talking in front of someone swinging on the swings anytime soon.

Here is one of the totem poles around the park.  Sadly enough, after spending years of looking at them, I just truly saw the faces - the smiling one eyed face and the snarling two eyed face.  Yep, I'm a quick ones sometimes.

Julie & Julia

A couple years ago, while getting lost in Powell's Book, I came across a book that grabbed my attention: Julie and Julia: 365 Days, 524 Recipes, 1 Tiny Apartment Kitchen by Julie Powell.  The book is about Julie, the author, and her out-of-the-blue decision to cook every recipe in Julia Child's Mastering The Art of French Cooking, Volume 1.

I immediately grabbed the book. The idea behind this journey came to Julie while visiting her mother.  She hated her job, felt she was in a rut, dealing with the fact she couldn't have kids, and was getting depressed by it all.  She decided to cook something, came across Julia's book in her mom's kitchen, and steals it when she decides that cooking every recipe in it during the course of the year will help her find her way in life.  Her husband, hearing about her plans, suggests that she keep a blog about the journey.  Oh, and I should mention that Julie and her husband live in an old, tiny apartment in New York City.

The book was wonderful.  Julia Child becomes her guide on this journey.  And, Julia Child also does not approve of the project.  As she explained, she felt that Julie was not taking it seriously enough.  That she felt like it was a farce, not a true attempt to learn and enjoy French cuisine.  Julie talks about this in her book.  What you learn in the book - that was not necessarily clear in her blog - is that she took this very seriously. She learned a lot about cooking.  She learned a lot about herself.   Julia just never got to see that from her obstructed vantage point.

During the previews of the Harry Potter movie, there was a preview to the movie version of the Julie and Julia book.  I had heard that idea tossed around, but never heard anything more than that.  But, I learned that on August 7th, there will be a movie based on the book.  And, like the book, it will intermingle Julie's story with Julia's autobiography My Life in France.  Meryl Streep portrays Julia Child with Amy Adams portraying Julie Powell.

The trailer looks great.  It is clearly a chick flick. But the scenes with Meryl Streep as Julia look wonderful and hilarious as it shows Julia learning French cooking while living in France.  I may have to go see it just so I can see if the story translated to the screen.

Regardless of the movie, I cannot recommend the book enough especially if you love to cook. I found it to be a quick read because it did pull you into her journey.  Add it to your "to-read" list if you are looking for something.

Day 203 - Message from the Cosmos

Saw this graffiti on the sidewalk when I was at the end of my run this morning. I think the universe is telling me that beer is in my future.

Week in Review

My picture of the day post last night ended up not publishing for some reason.  I didn't discover it until this morning.  That'll teach me to post it from my iPhone and not check that it actually posted.

Work has been actually kind of fun this week.  And, not in the way most would expect.  People are stressing out, so we're seeing some huge personality changes as a result of it.  These changes, while normal, are rather humorous to see.

There is the analyst in IT who works for the same CIO (but is not my peer, just to be clear), and she has decided I am her enemy.  I was getting the passive aggressive cold shoulder from her all week....which makes me laugh thus defeating what she is trying to accomplish.  She was put in charge of a part of the project and has been bitching and moaning that no one is taking control of it.  I pointed out to her a few weeks ago that someone was put in charge of it  - her.  She took a 5 day weekend a week ago where she made it very clear she was unavailable.  This part of the project was seriously off its rails - two weeks going on three weeks behind.  So, I took it over.  I was sick of hearing everyone bitch that it was late - no one stepping up, so I did.  It's what I do.  She came back, got pissed that someone took control, and has been passive aggressive ever since.  And, I laugh....because the core problem: I got this part of the project back on track.....in two days.  And, every time some threatens to pull it back off the rails, I stop it.  Yep - I'm evil like that. (insert eye roll here.)

The consultants are also going nutty too.  The manager of the analysts Frank has developed a glare and response technique that could drop a man (or woman) on the spot.  Frank is a guy who talks more than he listens.  Everyone knows that - his team, our team, the rest of the consultants.  I thought my interactions with him were special - I can rile Frank up pretty easy.  But, then I learned the technical manager on his own team - his peer - can do it too.  Almost every meeting I have been in with Frank has led Frank to give me his death glare.  And, the easiest way to get it - interrupt him.  Anyone who does gets bitched out by him - if you are working for him.  If that person is me - you just get the death glare.  I almost fell out of my chair with laughter the first time he did it.  Basically because he got dismissive over a piece of the project that isn't important to them - but is VERY important to us.  So, I pointed out that contractually they are obligated to deliver it in the same timeframe - or they have some explaining to do to us as to why they can't.  Yeah, he didn't like that.  Whatever, Frank.

And, Mr Chatty has been in an extra fine mood these days.  My boss said it best by summarizing his behavior as someone who is really bothered by the fact he's losing his job - but is pretending it doesn't bother him.  Throw in his inability to deliver on anything, and he's just all over the place more than he usually is.  I did manage to make him made at me during the course of the week.  I stopped him from jumping into an issue that a network guy was solving.  I had been hearing the network guy working the issue, he had it under control, he is competent and able, so didn't need someone talking to him over his shoulder while he was on the phone with technical support.  After Mr Chatty stormed out to have a cigarette, I walked to the network guy and whispered "you're welcome" into his free ear.

Outside of work, things have been great.  I have decided that Garbanzo and I have not been going out enough when DJ mentioned to Garbanzo that we seem to be going out on a lot of dates.  Then she pointed out we were already married - and didn't understand why you needed to continue to date once you are married.  Garbanzo explained that just because you are married doesn't mean you should stop going on dates.

I played soccer on my friend's lesbian soccer team on Thursday night.  I was thankful for all of the exercise I have been doing because the running wasn't what did me in.  It was kicking a soccer ball.  I'm feeling it now.  Different set of muscles.  My proudest achievement of the night wasn't how I played, but the fact I out ran Ms Panda.  That girl is like the energizer bunny....she just keeps going.  As Odin commented afterwards, it was the first time any of use saw Ms Panda winded....EVER!  Woo-hoo! I kept up and surpassed the 22 year old on the field.  She still outplayed me, but I can guarantee I am not nearly as sore as she is today.

Very early in the week, I completed the two-hundred sit-up challenge (see badge on website) which was a huge accomplishment.  I started the one-hundred push ups challenge now.  And, when I completed the initial test, I found myself in the hardest workout column for the week.  Nothing like starting the interval training off with a total of 50+ pushups.  How does that phrase go? That which does not kill you....?

This weekend, Portland turns into a sauna.  They are forecasting 4 days in a row at 105 degrees with the days before and after that stretch being in the mid-to-upper 90s.  But, I'm happy that we really don't have the schedule of plans we've had every weekend this summer.  I plan on relaxing ... maybe getting some stuff done that I've been meaning to get done but haven't had time.  But it's nice having our own schedule instead of commitments.  The only two commitments this week: drinks with a friend tonight and possibly going out with her afterwards.  And, a birthday party tomorrow.  That's it.  Nothing more.  All low stress.

I will leave you with a DJ quote.  While at the store Thursday with Garbanzo and Ms Panda, she looks at the two vegetarians and say, "You know. I like both kinds of chickens.  Alive and dead."

Hope everyone has a great weekend!!

Day 202 - Indigo

The last concert from my birthday present was the Indigo Girls at the zoo. Great concert as always. I almost jokingly did a video of the game gay-or-straight but most in attendence are gay making it pointless.

Just Blow It Up!

In November 1970, a dead giant sperm whale washed ashore the Oregon Coast. And the Oregon Highway Division whose responsibility it was to deal with such things didn't know what to do about it.

Their thought process went something like this:

• We cannot bury it because it is too large, and there is too little sand in that area.
• Moving it would be too much of a task to undertake. That would mean towing it off shore most likely.
• Sea gulls like eating dead things.
• So if we can't bury it or tow it, we should blow the whale up into small enough chunks, and let the sea gulls take care of the problem.

Great minds were clearing trying to solve this problem. They all decided that blowing it up with dynamite was the correct solution. The sea gulls will be in heaven as a side benefit.

The day of the great whale explosion was met with lots of spectators as well as a Portland news station.

And they blew it up - and created one hell of a smell mess and damaged cars.

Paul Linnman was the young reporter on the scene at that time. He remained a reporter in Portland until his retirement recently. Hell, he even wrote a book about his time reporting the news where this story in particular was highlighted. He talked about not getting the smell out for days.

And his greatest line from the newscast: "The blast blasted blubber beyond all believable bounds."

I actually have a copy of this video. I play it on days where I feel like nothing is going right. Where nothing I try to do goes as planned. And, while watching and laughing at the absurdity of this story, I remind myself that at least none of my ideas involved dynamite and a large dead whale - nor was the stupidity captured for all to see almost 40 years later.

I mean, the guy who had that idea - he is still not able to live it down. You should have things blow up in your face every once in a while - sometimes those things are the greatest teachers in life. But, blowing up a fucking whale? At least I didn't do that!

To read more about this incident and the media attention that went along with it (including columns by Dave Barry), check out TheExplodingWhale site. And, if you are looking for a fun and uplifting book to read about Paul Linnman's life, check out his book. Definitely worth a read.

Regardless, watch the whale and feel good about yourself and your ideas. Did you blow up a whale? No? Then you're good.

Day 201 - Lents Park

Portland has some fantastic city parks.  I think I've mentioned this before, but I am continually struck by how well kept up they are - and how they have kept their charm.  Lents Park is definitely one of those places.  Thirty eight acres of soccer fields, baseball fields (including a nice little stadium), basketball courts, trails for running, and general playground equipment.  Recently the city looked at it as a possible location for building a new AAA baseball stadium.  I'm glad someone got their head out of their ass and decided not to do it.  I'll spare you the whole Portland city debate about what to do.  For some, like myself, it is pretty cut and dry - but clearly the city will fuck around with the decision until the AAA team we love will leave.  But, I digress. 

Back to the park.  One of the things I love about the older parks is the fact they have an area where performances can be held - and they keep it up.  Lents Park has one of those places.

We discovered Lents Park when Garbanzo was playing rugby, and tonight I was back to play soccer.  I subbed for a women's team Odin's wife plays on.  I thoroughly love soccer....just didn't start playing it  until about 5 years ago when I was roped into joining an indoor team.  In the midwest, specifically, Iowa, soccer didn't come into popularity until I was in college - like the very early 90s, so I never had a chance to learn to play.  But, my roommate played for the college team, so I got a LOT of exposure to the game - this is Fred, and she was very good!

Indoor is pretty simple - 6 people on the field plus goalie.  You are either forwards or defenders.  Outdoor soccer - well their positions have names.  And while I know where they are located on the field, I don't understand the role of the player in certain situations.  Thankfully, I got on right defense and stayed there.  I like defense.  It was what I played in indoor as well and enjoy how physical the game can get.  (In indoor, I got really good at slyly shoving guys into the wall so I could steal the ball.)  I think I have been roped into playing during their fall league.  I can think of worse things.  As Odin's wife said, it's about time we make the boys come and watch US play since we watched them play rugby for a couple years.  I can get behind that statement.

Day 200 - More Proof...

...that consultants are evil. Ours plies their team and ours with candy. He recently added Milky Way Midnight bites which I can't resist. The only saving grace is they are mini ones.

WTF?

For those who are new to the blog (and haven't read the 100 Things post located above here), I was born and raised in Iowa.  Northwest Iowa to be exact - an important distinction when you start talking ideology and politics of the state.

My sister-in-law posted a link to a page entitled "What's Up Iowa?"  It looks at about a dozen Time Magazine polls showing Iowa as having a total opposite response to the rest of the country.

The polls are on all subjects and show a state-by-state response.

Very weird....and really begs the question of WTF?

Harry and Me

Sunday night, I went with Garbanzo's friend Odin to see Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.  And, you, my lucky readers, get to endure my rant about it.  Yes, I am a geek.

Also, there will be spoilers, so if you want to be surprised because you've only seen the movies and haven't read the books, I suggest you close your browser and go read the books.  They are much better.

I had mixed feelings about the movie.  I should explain that I am not one of these people who will always hate a movie that has been made from a beloved book series.  I understand the writer and director have a time limit - I just go in hoping they make a good movie.

This movie left me wondering how they are going get themselves out of the mess they have left the story.

Here's why:

1. The Horcrux Mission:  In the book, Harry and Dumbledore spend a great deal of time reviewing Tom Riddle's life.  The goal is for Harry to learn that Tom liked possessions - especially possessions with large historical meaning in the magic world.  After Dumbledore's death, Harry has a list of items to find as they contain a horcrux.  Find the items, destroy the Horcrux, destroy Voldemort.  In the movie, he ends without the list and without the history of Tom Riddle's life.  How on earth are they going to unearth that amongst everything else in the next movies?  Is Hermione going to steal the memories so they can do that part of the work during their journey?

2. Destroying the Horcrux: Again, the movie gives no basis for Harry to understand how a Horcrux is destroyed.  In the book, Harry knew how to destroy them; he just lacked the item used.  Big difference.

3. Harry doesn't hate Snape enough: In the book, Harry learns that Snape is the one who tells Voldemort  about the prophecy which ultimately leads to the killing of his parents.  Not only does his angry and hatred for Snape grow, but he also understands more of how it all went down.   In the movie, none of that happens.  In fact, Snape and Harry have a little scene before the whole killing of Dumbledore occurs.  Kind of an interesting twist.  Also, in general, Harry and Snape don't have the dynamic they have had in the prior movies.  While the hatred is there, it didn't escalate like it should have.

4. What happened to Bill and Fleur??  In the book, you have to have the announcement of their marriage so you have their cottage in the pivotal turning point in the last book.  How are they going to explain this in the movie given there was no mention of Bill in it.  Also, they burned down the Burrow - the Weasley's home?  Yes, magic can fix it, but .... when we last saw it, it was burning and everyone was watching.

5. Apparition anyone?  They totally left out the kids learning how to disappear and reappear.  In the book this is important as it sets up for all of the apparition that takes place in the last book.  Are we just going to assume they learned at some point?  This will be interesting to watch them explain.

I was happy they left some things in the movie, but kind of went "huh?" about a few other things.  I liked they left the Quidditch stuff in.  I liked they left the Slug Club in.  I also liked they left the Twins' shop in the story as it was fun to see.

I did not like the fact there was no huge battle scene at the end.  The Death Eaters got in and got out pretty easily and without incident.  Kind of odd.  And a missed opportunity to show the kids were ready and willing to fight as a unified team which makes the last final battled in the last book more believable.  Why?  We've seen it before.

Did I like the movie?  I did.  Did I love it? Nope.  They could have done better with the story, in my opinion.

Any other opinions from those who have read the book and watched the movie??

Day 199 - Nightly Task

Every night, it's the same thing especially since it's been in the 90s out here.  Which is quite unusual for the Pacific Northwest, but I'm not complaining.  It's finally summer! 

Who can complain about that!  I know my plants aren't as long as I water them, that is.

Demon Child

There are VERY few of my kids' friends that I don't like.  I can think of only one that isn't allowed in the house anymore - or at least, in the house when I'm around.  Not a bad record in the 3+ years they've had sleepovers.

But, there is a new addition to that list.

I must admit that I only had limited exposure to her while she was sleeping over, but it was enough.

I had heard stories about this girl.  Sunny is a year younger than DJ - a 2nd grader in her 2/3 class.  And, I knew there was a reason her parents signed her up for taekwondo.  I knew she would be a handful, but didn't realize how much.  (I was glad I was spending most of the night away from the house though.)

I knew things were going well when I started getting text messages from Derek about her.  Here is how it went:

Derek: lucky...we have the girl from hell.
Emmy: Bwahahaahha!! Why do you think I wasn't sad to be gone? ;-)
D: You suck hard.
E: I didn't think you and Garbanzo had those kinds of talks. :)
D: We compare notes... ;) Please bring beer.
E: I have several in the fridge. I'll share.  The harder stuff is hidden but Brian will share I'm sure.

Later, while they were at the park, I got this:
D: OMG. Sprinklers....death.....aaaaahhhh.
(The parks department had decided to turn the sprinklers on at 7:30 pm on a Friday night.  Families were fleeing the grass.)
E: Quick! Run around yelling "I'm melting, I'm melting!!"
D: I already did. ugh...i dislike this place now
E: Ms Panda suggests running to the closest bar at the end of your "i'm melting" scene.
D: unless they allow children, sure, but Sunny doesn't drink unhealthy drinks!!!
E: A little whisky for medicinal reasons will help her. Mix it with her milk.
D: she was playing with some guys dog. what the hell is wrong with her.
E: Lol! If she picks the right dog, all of your problems go away.
D: I made her give the dog back. I thought she was going to eat it.
E: Oh, so she stole someone's dog?!?! Nice! Do we need to do a count of animals before she leaves?
D: No. LOL. I do not like this friend yet she wants to go home and make cookies. Now that is unhealthy.

I came home to the fun.  The kids were bouncing off the walls.  You could tell Indigo was about ready to collapse.  DJ was barely holding on to her sanity.

The girls had begged to sleep in the tent on the back deck.  They were waiting for me to come home and put them to bed.  I call all of the girls together, get about 5 minutes of full frontal Sunny and her attitude, and throw the girls and Bob into the tent.  I sat at the bar in the kitchen writing a blog post and periodically yelling for them to settle down.  Every time they would start settling down, Sunny would start talking to Bob in that sing-songy play voice that makes dogs go crazy.  This would get everyone up and yelling again.

After nearly an hour of this, I gave them the final warning - go to sleep or no sleeping in the tent.  Thirty seconds later, I threw them out of the tent.

My kids didn't argue.  They hung their heads in shame, grabbed their stuff and trotted upstairs to their room.  Sunny was perplexed.  She didn't quite understand how this happened or why.  So, I broke it down for her as I walked her upstairs too.  She was a bit shocked.

She immediately decided she was going to sleep in DJ's loft with her.  Nope.  They can't sleep in a tent together - that path had been explored.  They were going to sleep apart from each other.  Another dumbstruck look from the kid.

They finally went to sleep and we were in bed by 1am.

The morning was just as joyous.  Damn is that girl bossy.  Holy fuck!

Every time one of the girls would step a hair out of line, Sunny was there chastising them and demanding justice.  I finally asked her if she was a kid or an adult.  She started her response with an explanation of why she was upset.  I stopped her, told her that was interesting, then told her the response I was looking for was either "kid" or "adult" nothing more.  She answered she was a kid.  I explained in our house the kids get to play, get in trouble, laugh, joke, and generally have fun.  The adults are the ones to get upset when rules are broken, we get to give the lectures, and we get to hand out punishments if we deem fit.  Situations where the kids are trying to do the job of adults will not be tolerated - we expect the kids to be kids.  Sunny didn't know what to say - so she left.

Garbanzo laughed.

But I will have to applaud DJ.  She did show she had limits with the girl.  She finally gave her the smack down verbally.  You could tell she was also done with the crap.

The lone kid who has been on the "never again" list now has a friend to join her.  Because Sunny is on that list too!

Day 198 - No Driving!

Or at least that's what Indigo thought the sign around the pool said. We kept explaining it said "no diving" but she didn't believe us. She got pretty damn close, and "no driving" is definitely an important rule too. I mean, you can't have cars in the pool. Geesh!


DJ the fish.
The Sexy Garbanzo himself! And I got him smiling too. That is a rare event.

DJ No Butt flying thru the air. I had to edit it since she has a wardrobe malfunction.

Poor Indigo. She has my genetics when it comes to chlorine. Between the sneezing and the horribly red eyes, she was miserable.....or at least played miserable well. She can blame me for this. And, I will, in turn, blame my father. Like I said, genetics.

Proof!

Garbanzo and I always have this debate over his cat.  His cat who has been with us since before we were married is a temperamental male Siamese who really would prefer I was out of the picture.  I should mention that this cat was gotten by both of us, so it isn't like I am the interloper in this relationship.  Technically speaking, he is.

This cat controls Garbanzo.  I have said for years that what this cat wants, Garbanzo will get him.   And, now I have proof that my husband is being controlled by his cat:

Cats Do Control Humans, Study Finds

The study finds that cats have developed a combination purr-cry that is difficult for humans to ignore, so they use it to elicit the response the cat desires.  That response could be providing the cat with food, letting the cat into the bedroom, etc.

The study also discovered that cats who have 1-on-1 relationships with one of their owners will develop and use the cry to manipulate its owner while a cat in a larger household will not typically do it.

Garbanzo, honey, does this sound familiar?

My husband will get up multiple times during the night to let the cat in and out of our bedroom.  He does this repeatedly without complaint.  But, if a dog whines to make an emergency trip outside in the middle of the night, you would think the fucking world had ended with his reaction.  Same response with food - if the cat meows incessantly to be fed, it's "poor kitty needs food".  The dogs dance around the kitchen because its dinner time for them, and they are annoying.

Here is my response if the cat wakes me up in the middle of the night - I throw something at him (usually something soft).  I've also been known to throw him off of the bed because he likes to, uh, interfere in activities where small animals do not belong.

As you can tell, the cat has my husband fucking trained.
Wonder if there is some sort of deprogramming I can get for him?

Day 197 - A Critical Eye

The past week, we have seen weather between 85-95+ with promises that it will be in the lower 100s by the weekend.  I'm not complaining - just to be clear.  I like summer.  I'm happy it is here, and I'm glad it seems to finally be staying.  And, I love the fact there is no humidity, and Oregon gets cool at night so we will have relief.

The ones who suffer most during this heat are the animals.  Harry, for example, seeks out the cool tile of our downstairs bathroom.


Nice picture of Harry, if I do say so myself.....except....
This is what I see when looking at the picture:


It could have been worse.  Since that bathroom is near the back deck, the floor usually has lots of mud on it and water and usually stray clothes from when the kids decide to have an impromptu water fight.

Yeah, it could be worse....or at least that's what I'll keep telling myself.

And note to self:
If you ever think white tile with white grout is a good idea, pull out this picture to remind yourself you have kids and dogs and it will NEVER stay white.

Cursing is Good for You!

Fuck yeah!

Sorry, had to be said.

I heard this on the radio the other day that researcher discovered that cursing does aid in pain relieve.  They did an experiment where they had volunteers submerge their hands in cold water.  While it was submerged, they used their favorite swear word while researcher measured their heart rate and the amount of time they could withstand the hand being submerged.  They then did the same test using a non-curse word.  They found that participants who used the curse word reported less pain than when they did not.  They also were able to withstand pain longer.

Not believing everything I hear on the radio even if I can use it as justification for my own outbursts of profanity, I looked it up.  Yep, real research and findings.

Maybe that's why I start swearing in stressful meetings.  It helps me endure the pain longer.

Wonder if HR would buy that?  Veronica? :-)

Day 196 - Learning Something New

Derek rides an old road bike I picked up years ago.  It drove me crazy, so I always chose my mountain bike over it.  In fact, I was going to get rid of it before he moved in.  He doesn't mind it, so he rides it to and from work each day and around the city.

Derek has bad luck with the bike.  He got a flat tire one of the first times he rode it, so he got it fixed.  Then the other one looked low, so he over inflated it to the point where he wrecked the tire.  He then was riding to work one day and had one of the wheels break.  We got that fixed.  Today, he starts on his ride, gets a short distance away, and gets another flat.

Tonight I came home from the movie to see Garbanzo teaching Derek how to fix a flat tire.  (And during the course of fixing it, they broke one of the brake pads off.  We'll see what the damage ends up being on that one.)

Here is Derek on the porch trying to pretend he knows what to do next. Garbanzo was on the phone.


Here is Derek trying to entice me into lusting after him.  I believe his approach is if he can't have Garbanzo, he'll have me instead so he'll be close to Garbanzo.  Notice he's holding tools and showing me more of his chest.


Here is Derek pretending he knows he's holding a brake pad in his hand.


Here is Derek realizing his hands are all dirty.


To quote Derek: "I feel so manly now."

And, so I don't embarrass just Derek in this post, I leave you with my hot (literally and figuratively) husband Garbanzo who will likely kill me after he sees I posted this.  Actually, this will be a good test since, ahem, he rarely reads my blog.


This was taken after our 21.25 mile bike ride this morning on Sauvie Island, thus the comment about him being hot.  Derek and I think he looks a bit like Goose from Top Gun.

Karma in Action

My parents have been in the final phases of buying a house for the past like two months.  They have shown the patience of saints where I would have been flipping out.

I got a call.  My mom is in tear which makes me immediately wonder if everyone is okay - specifically my dad (aka: heart attack #2 waiting to happen).  She assures me everyone is fine.  They just got done signing the papers to their house.

So why the tears?  My mom about 2/3rds of the way through the signing notices the loan is different than what they had expected. The interest rate had dropped another half a percent which was good, but the loan itself was totally different.  He told her that he would explain after the signing was done.

Afterwards he admitted that the change interest rate actually disqualified them for the loan they were supposed to get....and the other possible loans too.  I guess the rules for qualification had changed with the drop in interest rate which is why they found themselves in this position.  My mom and dad listen to this explanation - then ask what they just signed if they were not qualified anymore.

The mortgage broker basically gave them $1800 so that they would qualify for the new loan.  He couldn't bear having to call them two days before signing to say they were no longer able to get the house.  Instead, he gave them money to make sure they could get their house.  He likes them.  They are patient and easy to work with.  Also, he was impressed by the number of people they were already referring to him, so he wanted to take care of them.  He wanted them to get their house, so he gave them money that he would have made off the loan process.

My mom cried.

But, it gets better.  Soon after this news, she gets a call from the husband of a good friend from Iowa who when she last saw in November was in the final stages of cancer.  They had just gotten hospice involved since things were not looking well.  Her husband called because he wanted them to know that she has no evidence of the disease.  There had been some recent developments that caused the doctors to rescan her, and they were all shocked that it's gone.

My mom cried again.

And my dad who has been working part time since they moved out here because he hasn't been able to find a full time job may have a full time job now.  While this isn't a done deal by any means, this is the first solid lead he has had on a job in a long time.

Karma....it's the only explanation.

Day 195 - Rebuiliding

I spent the morning and early afternoon working on the backyard. When the lawn is mostly weeds, it is difficult to gauge how tall it is - so I don't even remember the last time it was mowed. Between picking up after the dogs and mowing, it was a fun filled morning as Garbanzo took DJ's sleepover guest back home. (More about that guest in a few days.)

When he returned, I sent out to find a pipe of a particular diameter and length. We have an umbrella for the umbrella stand that I use by the hammock. Because this umbrella is top heavy compared to the others we've had, the stand isn't able to support it as it should. So, I'm fixing the problem with a length of pipe. Must be narrow enough to fit into the stand, but wide enough for the umbrella to go into.

He went to The Rebuilding Center - a local non-profit that goes and deconstructs buildings prior to a major remodel or even a demolition. They then resell the pieces in their center. You can get flooring, moldings, windows, doors, fixtures, and cabinets. When you live in an old house like ours, this can be a fun place to get original era moldings, etc. Hell, this is where part of our center cut fir floors came from when they needed to replace parts of the original.

Garbanzo came back with the wrong sized pipe. So, we both went back. Here is a look at this place. We got lost in the door section because we need a new front door. And, while we could just go to Home Depot and buy one, we want one that fits the style and age of the house.




A neat screen door Garbanzo found.


The peep hole we found in a door we actually think might work for our house. Ignore the color, because we would take care of that. This is the inside of it:

Here is the outside of it:

And if you want a school door for your house, this is your place to get one.

Or if you need a door that was popular in our neighborhood. Nothing says stay out like an iron door.


Need a window?



Or the counterweights for your old windows?



Or do you need the windows for those weights?



Those windows are from the old Lincoln High School building

which is now part of the PSU (Portland State those who might confuse

it with other universities) campus:


I might actually go back and get the large single pane ones. They are cheap and

would make nice cold frames. Garbanzo has visions of a make shift green house.

Not sure I'm ready to let him tackle that one yet.

This place is dangerous - you come away with lots of ideas.