HNT - Peeping Through

Have ye beheld (with much delight)
A red rose peeping through a white?
Or else a cherry (double graced)
Within a lily? Centre placed?
Or ever marked the pretty beam
A strawberry shows half drowned in cream?
Or seen rich rubies blushing through
A pure smooth pearl, and orient too?
So like to this, nay all the rest,
Is each neat niplet of her breast.
~Robert Herrick

Day 270-Weird Celebration

Garbanzo decided we needed to celebrate. He said, "You took me out to celebrate my first teaching job; I'm taking you out to celebrate your first layoff."

He is an odd duck.

But who would have guessed his beer would be darker than mine. Mine is a Laurelwood Prevale IPA. His is a Hooligan (English style ale).

Day 269 - Clean Desk Club

My desk....the cleanest it has ever been.  Except for when they erected the cube....yes, Hubman and Lion, I said 'erect'.  ;-)

I feel bad for the Facilities Manager, aka Grizzly Adams. He has been left to clean up about 100 cubes and engineering labs after people have left them in shambles. I like the guy (plus, I'm not convinced he won't eventually go nuts and find everyone where they sleep), so I'm doing my part to not contribute to the mess.

It's pretty sad when my 14 years at this company can fit into three boxes. Two boxes of which are books. I have filled up about 5 recycling boxes full of files and such that I've acquired over the past 5 years as my superiors have left. There really isn't anything to pass along because, surprisingly enough, I believe in keeping things electronically. I know, I know...crazy that an IT people shun paper for technology. Just makes storage a little easier.

Today, people started getting sappy on me. A guy who started soon after I did as a manufacturing support engineer (aka Gopher for the manufacturing production line) sought me out to tell me he wasn't letting me leave. "You can't leave; we need you!" was his exact plea. He and I worked closely together throughout the years. We have a lot of respect for each other. I truly didn't expect him to seek me out to say that. I was pleasantly surprised.

Surprise #2 came in the form on a consultant-turned-employee. He brought me a card and wanted to make sure I knew how much he appreciated working me with me. I was quite floored. Here is one of the smartest guys at this company - a guy who I have learned a huge amount from - and he's getting teary eyed at the fact I'm leaving.  His card was quite touching. "You are one of the few people at this company who could take a problem and drive it through to solution."  He made it clear that this was a personal gesture. His gesture included a gift certificate to Amazon. I was humbled by his gesture.

I don't feel bad at all that I'm being laid off. Truth be told, I'm not sure that this company will make it. And that makes me sad more than losing my job. My boss today told me she hopes she's fired. She, like me, is not change averse. But she is feeling like there is way too much change with unrealistic expectations thrown in. We did agree today that maybe we should say fuck technology and be baristas. Work 6-2pm each day. Not have to worry about power outages that cannot be prevented because the company won't fund it, but they will bitch that we weren't able to figure out how to do it anyway. Or bitch because we introduced a major change, and there are some bumps. Yep, being a barista - I can do it.

I am working for the company as a contractor from now until the next of the year. Garbanzo has told me he wants me to work part time for a while. I have never gotten a break except for maternity leave while he has gone back to school, did weird temp work, and has summers off. He wants me to take my time. We'll see how long that lasts.

Until then, I'm going to try to get through the next couple of days. I have my October goal - the half marathon I'm running before Halloween.  I'm hoping to pick up some contract work here and there. And, I'll be enjoying my break.

Great Read Award

The lovely and just-plain-awesome Amorous Rocker gave me this blog award last week.  Thank you AR for giving it to me!

The award calls for me to create my own Top 10 List.  I don't know why, but cartoons came to mind. 

1. Wonder Twins

My brother and I used to play "Wonder Twins" all of the time.  Out of all of the Super Friends, we always chose them.  We liked being able to turn into things in order to save the day.  I will have to say that we never kept our own powers.  I mean, Zan was always supposed to change into something water based while his sister Jayna could change into any animal.  Never seemed quite fair, so we'd mix it up. 

2. She-Ra "Princess of Power"

Fred, my best friend and roommate in college, is to blame for She-Ra.  Sure, I had seen her on He-Man when the kid I babysat in high school would watch it, but I never paid attention to it.  Anytime a woman needed to do something extraordinary, Fred would announce they were "She-Ra! Princess of Power!" 

3. Smurfs

Standing in at three-apples high, we have Smurfs. There is at least one parent of a child I babysat that hated me because of the Smurfs. After being forced to watch the Little Mermaid eight million times, I introduced the Smurfs to the little girl.  She became obsessed with them.  Isn't that what babysitting was all about?

4. Animaniacs

Yakko, Wacko, and Dot - the Warner brothers and sister. We watched this religiously in college. The story lines were funny, but the songs were fucking brilliant.  Some of the songs had a fun educational twist.  A fun way to learn the states and the capitals, or countries of the world (circa 1993). 

5. School House Rock!

This was, by far, one of my favorite parts of Saturday Morning Cartoons.  Waiting for the School House Rock episode.  Unlike most people who liked Conjunction Junction, I liked "I'm Just a Bill" and "Three is a Magic Number". 

6. The Flintstones

Every day after school, I would come home and watch the hour long Flintstone marathon.  I think I saw every episode ever made. And, our family still sings "Happy Birthday" like they do in one of the episodes. It's more annoying that way.

7. Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends

This is one of my favorite Cartoon Network shows (when it is on).  For anyone who hasn't seen it, it s a foster home for Imaginary Friends who are given up by the kids who have created them.  Madam Foster finds them new homes.  The characters are hilarious. Anytime we hear the kids watching it, we will go in and watch it with them.

8. The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy

Another Cartoon Network favorite. Basically, Mandy beats the Grim Reaper at a game. Her prize - he will be her and Billy's friend forever. Billy is an idiot. Mandy is a dark, smart, and fearless child who intimidates everyone around her despite her blond hair and pink dress. She is my favorite part of the show. Plus the show is quite twisted, which is another reason I love it..

9. Powerpuff Girls

DJ was Powerpuff girl obsessed.  There was just something about these three sweet innocent little girls kicking the ass of bad guys that amused me greatly.  I'm a sick and twisted person, what can I say?

10. Scooby Doo

Scooby Doo - where are you?
I watched way too much Scooby Doo as a child.  Our whole family did.  Even my cousin, who in the end, earned himself the nickname Scooby.  We still call him that to this day.  And, the show was such a farce. It was always the old guy who should have "gotten those crazy kids" -  and he always wore a crazy mask.  But, we always watched them.  To be honest, I laughed my ass off when the gang made a cameo of sorts in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.  And, if you have seen that movie, make sure you watch the deleted scenes for more crazy and perverted stuff from that gang.

And as is the usual, I must now nominate a few people for this award.  So, I would like to nominate Cheeks whose humor I love and who I recently discovered shares my obsession for certain types of pens, Roaring Lion of Two Fisted Cool who I also love reading...both blog and Tweets, Jennybean because we need to hear more from her so this should give her something to write about, and Grace because, well, I just want to hear what kind of sexy list she could come up with when she returns.

Day 268 - Random

When you are in a house with two kids - two creative kids with weird sense of humor - you are sometime greeted with things in the most unexpected places.

I have three of these little guys. I had them at work on my desk & people would play with them anytime they were talking to me. Guess one of the kids found them after I brought them home as this is what greeted me when I went to turn on the light in the dining room. I know it was DJ who did it. So I left him there. It's not hurting anything - and it amuses me.

Annual Renewal Agreement

God only knows how many people are going to get to my blog looking for contract help now, just because I used those words in the subject.  Thank you Google bot who crawls my site! 

Garbanzo for many years has jokingly said that the wedding anniversary signifies the annual review of the marriage where both partners can negotiate an out of the marriage contract, additional terms, or chose to continue.  His rationale is that it is a natural breaking point. Why go into a new year of marriage if things aren't working out. 

This joke was made until on October 7th, 2003 I presented him with the annual renew of our agreement.  In writing. While we were out for our anniversary awaiting dessert.  You see, Garbanzo doesn't ever see contracts outside of the mortgage or loans.  I, on the other hand, see many contracts.  After the jokes were starting to be made, I had just gotten done reviewing on the contracts when inspiration hit.  I was going to present him with one.  See what he does.

Today, I found a copy of the contract.  I thought it had been lost.  Here it is (with my comments in italics while Garbanzo's will be in bold):

Annual Renewal Agreement - October 7, 2003
Purpose:
The purpose of this document is to renew the agreements made one year ago today and to renegotiate the terms of the agreement.

The terms and conditions of this agreement will be one year in length, and are subject to an auto-renew clause if the "husband" does not give notice to the "wife" sixty days prior to the anniversary date.  If notice is given, the terms and conditions will be renegotiated as outlined in the Renegotiation section of this agreement.
Emmy: I found out later that Garbanzo had no idea what auto-renewal meant. Needless to say the contract is still in place from this time.
Garbonzo:  Yeah.  I'm not the smartest bean in the can.
Emmy: But you are the cutest.

Section 1: Meetings and Events
Emmy: Getting out and away from the kids was an issue at this point.  We had a 10 month old and a 3-year old and no family in the area.  Also, many little spats would be had over whether or not "going to the store without children" was considered "time for yourself".   As you can see, I clarified it.
The "husband" agrees to a minimum of one meeting and/or event per month without the accompaniment of the "children".  These meetings/events cannot include trips to the comic book shops and/or convention and must include a meal.

The "husband" also agrees to 2 meetings and/or events per month without the  accompaniment of "husband" and "children". The "wife" in turn agrees to 2 meetings and/or events per month without the accompaniment of the "wife" and "children". Additional meetings may be included as negotiated by all parties.

Solo meetings and/or events do not include solo trips to the store or any other errands.  Trips to the comic book shops and/or conventions do count, however.
Garbonzo: We were both struggling for adult time.  I was envious of her 30 minute commute alone in her car.  Not to mention the fact that we had not had a night out together, alone, in over two years. 

Section 2: Physical and Emotional
The "husband" agrees to honor and respect the boundaries set by the "wife" with regards to physical contact. In return, "wife" agrees to one time per week of physical relations.  Additional relations can be negotiated by both parties. Kissing, hand-holding, hugging, and cuddling are all forms of contact not regulated by this contract.
Emmy: Got to explain this part.  I was nursing a 10 month old yet. Between her wanting my boobs, the other one wanting to be glued to mom's leg.  Having a husband vying for the same things was about the cause my head to explode.  This was my boundary. Reality is we have sex a lot more than one time a week!
Garbonzo: Now we do.  At the time it was a pretty dry spell. 
Emmy: Pretty dry spell?? It wasn't that bad. Sure we went from having sex several times a day 7-days a week down to a few times a week if we were lucky. But, by most standards, that's considered "normal".

The "husband" agrees to provide "wife" with emotional support and "wife" will provide "husband" with emotional support.  Emotion support includes "unconditional love" and "unconditional support without judgment".  "Wife" agrees not to use crying, yelling, or throwing items to emphasize points in argument, etc.
Emmy: I'm a yeller and a thrower when I'm mad.  Not so much a cryer, just thought I would throw onto the list.  Garbanzo doesn't like it.  This was my way of saying I'll try to stop it.  I don't throw things anymore....but I'm genetically programmed to get louder the more angry I am.  

"Husband" agrees to continue to take medicine and attend counseling until deemed "cured" by "head shrinker". A certificate of "cured-ness" will need to be provided to deactive this clause of the contract. 
Emmy: Garbanzo's "head shrinker" (his term for her) actually loved this part of the contract.  In fact, when she released him from her care, she wrote me a letter explaining she thought he had the skills to deal with his stress but he needed to continue to take his medicine, so to keep this part of the contract in effect.
Garbonzo: Do you have any idea how hard it is to get a counselor who you are paying $75 per session to write you a note saying you are "cured" and no longer need to see her and pay her that money????

Section 3: The Children
The "husband" and "wife" agree to spend quality time with the "children".  Quality time is defined as interactive playing, reading, coloring, cuddling, etc.  Quality time is not playing on the computer as the children play nearby.  The "husband" and "wife" agree to share parenting responsibilities including discipline and dirty diapers and picking up toys. The "husband" and "wife" agree to love the "children" unconditionally and to have patience and a sense of humor when dealing with them.
Emmy: Any woman with a husband and a computer can pick out the most important part sentence in this paragraph and the situation I was hoping to avoid further discussions on in the future.  Hint: It's not the part about the dirty diapers.
Garbonzo: We are pretty good about this.  We both need to be better about puttng down the computers and playing with the children.
Emmy: They spoil us now. They would rather we leave them to their own devices.  I mean, play with your parents or listen to your iPod.....they always choose the iPod these days.

Section 4: The Pets
The "husband" agrees to learn more about the "dog" and support the "dog" during his growth and development.  The "wife" agrees to take "pets" to the vet and hold them as the "pets" are examined including rectal temperature.  The "husband" agrees to respect Katchoo's intelligence level, and the "wife" agrees to be more tolerant of Garbanzo (the cat).  The fish are the "wife's" problem.
Emmy: I made Garbanzo (my husband not his cat) take the dog through obedience school because of this clause.  I was getting sick of hearing "that fucking dog!" He was only a year old by this point - and a 1 year old yellow lab is like a toddler - into everything.


Section 5: Visitors and Gatherings
The "husband" agrees to give the "wife" at least 2 weeks notice prior to scheduling a gathering of more than 2 people.  If within 2 week timeframe, negotiations can be made for a gathering - but must be made - the "wife" cannot be surprised unless it is the intent to be a surprise party for the "wife". Over use of the "surprise party" definition could lead to a reduction of physical relations as outlined in Section 2.
Garbonzo:  Yeah.  Ask Emmy to tell you the pasta story sometime.  It is a doozy!
Emmy: The short version was I got a call at work during the summer letting me know we were having friends over.  I asked what he was making, and he said "pasta".  I thought, great - something easy.  No, my loving husband was actually making pasta from scratch.  I drank wine in the living room.  We ate at almost 8pm.

The "husband" agrees to "keep it simple, stupid" (KISS) when hosting gatherings.  Any ideas that are questionable are subject to final approval from the "wife" who has the ability to veto said idea.
Emmy: Project and time management is not my husband's strong suit. Many of his ideas are great - if you had about 6x the time in which you have to do it.
Garbonzo: See the pasta story above.

If the gathering is to be hosted, the "husband" agrees not to wait until the last minute to clean and prepare for the gathering.  If ample time is given, the "wife" agrees to help without giving dirty looks and/or yelling.
Emmy: This one was a HUGE issue between us.  Garbanzo loves entertaining. He loves to cook.  He does not like to plan.  It was during this time when I came into the house, would find people he had invited over for dinner but neglected to tell me, and get thrown into full-on entertainment mode.  This was probably the #1 reason I would get mad during this time.
Garbonzo:  I definitely needed to work on this one! 

Section 6: Household and Yard Responsibilities
The "wife" is responsible for the plants, flowers, and vegetables planted in the yard. This includes watering, weeding, planning and removing. The "husband" is responsible for keeping the yard a clean, poop-free environment for the "children". Other yard responsibilities will be shared by the "husband" and the "wife".
Garbonzo:  I am still working on getting the dogs to pick up after themselves.

The "household" responsibilities will be shared equally by all members of the house including the "children". No one person is responsible for the coordination effort.
Emmy: This was more of an agreement that he would not send DJ outside to play in the backyard without picking up the dog shit first.  I love yard work (yes, I'm weird that way), so really this was the only thing. Inside, it was usually the expectation for me to coordinate any cleaning or pickup effort. 

Section 7: Health and Safety
Both "husband" and "wife" agree to stay healthy and visit doctors at least yearly to ensure health.  Both "husband" and "wife" agree to do whatever necessary to achieve good help including eating right and exercise.  Both "husband" and "wife" agree to support efforts to achive and maintain healthy living.
Garbonzo:  This was a really difficult one.  How could we find time to exercise and be healthy if we could not even find time for a date?  Luckily it has gotten much better!!!

"Husband" agrees to take all necessary precautions to avoid accidents.  Accidents to avoid include, but are not limited to, burns, falls, cutting himself with sharp items, using powers items inappropriately, etc.  "Wife" agrees not to laugh too hard when accidents happen - or at least not in front of the "husband".
Emmy: Garbanzo doesn't take steps in preventing accidents. We used to keep burn cream by the stove for him. And, then there were the number of times his finger somehow got caught while the mixer blades were moving. Still happens, but I'll have to say, he is careful it doesn't happen when there are witnesses.

"Husband" agrees to be safety conscious with the "children". "Wife" agree not to be overly protective of the "children".

Section 8: The Rob Clause
"Husband" agrees to limit Rob visits to once a week including dinner invitations.  Husband also agress to set limits with Rob to ensure he is not inviting himself to gatherings, etc.  While "wife" understands that "husband" and Rob are friends, "wife" is very conscious of food costs and the emotional drain of "wife".
Emmy: His friend Rob was here CONSTANTLY!!!  Nice guy, but when he was bored while unemployed for the 9 months out of the year he is unemployed, he would come to his friend Garbanzo's house.  Right about dinner time.  Or invite himself out with us.  Nice guy when in moderation. 
Garbonzo:  I miss Rob.
Emmy: I didn't make him stop coming around. Okay, so I stopped feeding him which in turn made him visit less, but his absense isn't my fault.
Garbonzo: Yes it is.

Section 9: Money
"Wife" agrees to continue to support "husband's teaching habits".  "Wife" also agrees to allow a monthly comic book allowance to the "husband".  "Husband" and "wife" agree to be responsible with their money.  "Husband and "wife" agree to limit e-bay and other online spending habits. "Wife" agrees to continue to bring home the tofu for "husband".
Emmy: Unlike most people these days, our finances and money is all inter-tangled (and has been since before we graduated college).  The joke used to be that I would one day cut him off since I am the breadwinner.  This was my way of saying that was not going to happen.
Garbonzo: And I appreciate it!

Section 10: Renegotiation
Renegotiation can reoccur at any time during the agreement.  Renegotiation should include a bottle of wine and should have no "children" present.  This agreement encourages good and open communication.
Emmy: Notice this clause conflicts with the first one?  He didn't.  Did it on purpose to see if he's notice.  You'd be surprised how often this happens in real contracts. It's because they reuse other ones. 
Garbonzo: My only consolation is that I can hold my vino better than she can. Maybe that will work to my advantage.
Emmy: Yes you do.  But I'm "fun in bed" when I've been drinking. Or so you are fond of saying. I think I'll have to use that to my advantage.

Effective Dates: October 7, 2003 through October 7, 2004

Yeah, I think it's time I write a new contract.  Maybe I'll do that for our anniversary on the 7th.

Days 265 thru 267 - The Coast

No, I haven't disappeared.  We were invited to our friends' beach house this weekend located on the Oregon coast.  Where I thought it was versus where it was meant unexpectantly having no Internet access (or very VERY spotty) and absolutely no cell coverage.  While this is great in many respects, it kind of fucks up ones ability to post daily pictures on the blog.

So, you are getting a smattering of pictures from those three days.



Where we stayed was near an island where pelicans congregate before flying south to Mexico. There were a LOT of pelicans flying around the beach. These pictures almost look fake given the contrast of them to the ocean.



This green sludge is actually the reminents of an ancient forest. Many years ago, a huge storm eroded away sand revealing the old stumps of trees. The stumps when the tide is low reveals neat pools similar to the tide pools where rocks are the little microcisms. 

A Real Corset

Garbanzo had leaned over to me as we walked around the local pirate festival and whispered, "Look! Corsets!"

I bought a lingerie one a few weeks ago. I told the story and showed a picture. But, being at the pirate festival surrounded by women wearing corsets as part of their costumes, he wanted me to get me into a real one. Garbanzo has been trying for years to get me into a corset. And, I knew, this would be the year I would be getting one.  I had already crossed into the territory.

Earlier in our walking around, Garbanzo had spotted the place he wanted me to go for my real corset.  So, he led me there.

We walked into the tent and started looking around.  I finally asked him which style he liked, and he pointed at the ones on the far end.  They were called Vixen corsets. 

"Try one on," he prodded.
"I know nothing about sizing or anything; I can't just try one on."

He turned to one of the three woman working there and said, "When you have a second, could you help my wife?"

She came around him and I was blown away. Goth, if done right, is beautiful.  And she had done it right.  Long dark hair with red strands weaved into it - partially pulled back.  Dark eyes that made her blue eyes stand out even more.  Cherry red lips and a little lip ring.  Certain piercings like this one usually don't look good to me, but she wore it well.

Throw in the insane leather boots high heeled boots - and the ensemble she was wearing including a killer corset, and I was happy she was the one helping.

I stood in front of her - and she asked if I knew my size.
"No idea."  She asked if I had ever worn a real corset. No was my answer again.

Goth Girl came up close to me and looks at my breasts.  Then, she put her hands on my waist and ran them up until they were beside my breasts and back down to my hips.  When her hands had reached my hips, she looked at me and said "I think you are a 32 - let me see what we have left."

No measuring tape, no nothing.  Just felt me up to get the size.

She searched until she found a 32, then had me slip it on over my shirt.  I was wearing a running shirt which meant it was form fitting - perfect for a corset fitting, as I would soon find out.

The laces were in the front of the corset, so she started lacing it up.

"The first couple of times wearing a corset is a little weird, but I'm sure you'll get used to it by the third time."

She readjusted my breasts so that the corset underneath correctly.  I was bit surprised by her boldness.  While she deals with corsets a lot, I had seen her helping a couple of women earlier - and she did not act so bold with either of those women.

I took a breath in, and as I exhaled, she pulled it close & tied it.
"This will give you a good idea of how it will look. But this one won't work - it's too big on you."

Too big, I thought?  Really?  She could see my confused look - and explained that it laced together perfectly.  This means if I lose weight or change shape - it will be too big. Better to be too small than too big. 

She searched around a bit more as I stood there in front of the mirror looking at myself in this corset.  I was actually a bit stunned really.  I had to admit - it looked good.  Garbanzo is standing there with a large grin on his face. 

"You look great!!" was his only explanation for it.

Goth Girl came back with another corset of the same style.  "I wondered if you could fit into a 30, but I'm usually off a bit.  I bet this will be perfect compared to the other one."

I put on the new corset, and she started lacing it.  "This color looks fabulous against your skin. I think it is a better choice."

You could tell she was excited as she continued to talk: "I hope you aren't planning to wear this just to these types of things.  You can wear them with anything.  I wear mine everywhere - even to school."

I could totally picture her going into class wearing jeans, those boots and that corset over a shirt.  All eyes would definitely be on her.  Or at least my eyes would be.

"You can wear it anywhere really - and over anything. But," she looked up at me and paused in her lacing, "wear it over some lingerie. You'd definitely look great that way."  Then she gave me a little grin.

"Yeah, I'm sure I'll be doing that," I said as I returned her grin.

She continued lacing me into the corset, then started pulling the laces tighter.  Between the flirting and the heat outside and the lack of oxygen I was feeling, I was a bit dizzy.  She carefully worked on tightening it section by section until she tied the ribbons at the bottom.

She stood back up and said, "Oh yeah, that's the perfect size and color. Go take a look."

I went over the mirror and looked.  Damn, she had cinched me up tight.  Holy damn! Look at my figure.  She came up behind me and admired her work.  Then adjusted it a bit more for me. 

Garbanzo says to her, "She'll take it."
She grinned and started unlacing me. 
She got everything ready and bagged.
As I was signing my receipt, she started helping another reluctant woman who was dragged in there by her husband. 
As I left, I could see she was not being as well take care of as I was.

Oh, and Garbanzo, after all of this, said to me "You should have gotten her number. She was totally flirting with you."

Yeah, maybe I should have. ;)

~~~~~~~~

Because several people yesterday mentioned possibly getting a corset, I thought I would tell you where I got mine.  The woman who makes these corsets does sell them online.  I'm actually really impressed with how well they are made. And, I was told if ever anything happens where a grommet comes loose, stitches start to come apart, or even if I need it taken in - I just ship it back to her.  This is one of the reasons I usually will go with a small business versus a large.  They stand behind their work.

Her shop is called Damsel in the Dress.
Check her out if you are so inclined!

Day 264 - Me & My Pussy.....Cat

She's my mouser.  As I sat on the steps waiting for Garbanzo so we could go to Back to School night, she crawled up on my lap for a cuddle. She is such a sweet, yet deadly cat.

HNT - Corset Diaries

"I want to cinch you up in it. Take some pictures, then lay you in bed while you wear it."
"What are you going to do once you have me in bed?"
"You'll see."
I wish I had a picture of his face when he was lacing up the corset. The concentration. The sheer joy that I had allowed him to buy me one - and not only a corset, but the one he liked. I liked it too, but he clearly liked it more. He had plans.

"Exhale, so I can pull it tighter. Goth girl had it tighter."
"No, that was the first one you are thinking of."
"No, it was this one. Relax, and I'm going to pull it closed a bit more."

After he did it, he told me how he thought I should stand. I was sans bra since the top of the corset would support me. Periodically, he would reach up and squeeze a nipple. I could tell he almost wished the t-shirt was more sheer so the picture could capture it. Since it didn't, he captured another side.


After this last shot, he laid me on the bed.
"Spread your legs."
He was clearly turned on - he had gone all bossy on me.
I like bossy.

He licked my clit until I was squirming, then stopped. He came up to my face and pulled down his briefs. "Suck my cock while you cum."

Damn, he knows me too well. He knows how much I love that.

He fingers me, I stroke my clit as I suck his cock. It doesn't take long before I'm going to cum. I look up to see him staring at me with a smirk on his face. Then, as I'm starting to cum I realize .... he tightened it to make it difficult for me.

I can't get a full lung full of air, so I can't cum as easily as I normally would. Knowing he did this on purpose just made it easier for me to cum - and cum I did.

And cum he did as well.

As we lay there in bed after, both satisfied, he admitted he had been thinking about doing that for days. Ever since Goth Girl felt me up in that tent.

But, that's another story.

Check out Osbasso to see who else is playing!
And don't forget OHNT!

Day 263 - Vices

Beer and coffee.....pretty sad when I went to the store - bought a salad, coffee, and beer. It was a long day - I earned a beer.  And to prevent a repeat of today, I made sure there was coffee in the morning. Sometimes it is the small things.

Completely Random Wednesday

Forgive my randomness for today, but it was the best I could do. I had several things bouncing around, and figured why not throw them into one post. Enjoy! :)

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Barefoot Dreamer a last week back suggested she needed a blogger alias to use instead of Barefoot Dreamer which was her blog name.  The idea being tossed around was Hope, which I love, by the way. 

Reading through the blogger alias comment, I realized how easy it was to pick my alias.  Emmy was born thanks to my husband's love of comics and the like - and our watching the short-lived, kid and family appropriate show on ABC Family called Middle Man.  In it, the main character has an alliterative name Wendy Watson.  Her boss and friends end up calling her Dub-Dub or Dubby.  My name in real life - whole name sans married name added - is also an alliteration of M's - first, middle and last name.  Upon hearing Dubby, Garbanzo looked at me and declared I was Emmy.  He had always wanted to give me a nickname, and the natural ones that come with my first name don't quite fit me. 

Emmy has been a name adopted by him as a nickname as well as a name we use on profiles and such. It's funny because I have gotten feedback from several people that they find Emmy more fitting, so they use it instead.  Thankfully, it is a name I can live with.

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I chew an insanely amount of gum.  I have been told it is bad for my teeth, but I like gum.  Some people when concentrating bounce their leg or twirl their hair - I chew gum.  I usually have 2 packs on me and a huge supply at home.  In fact, Garbanzo will buy gum for me at the store.  And, I only check Extra Winterfresh, Orbit Wintermint, or Eclipse Winterfrost.  This has been a habit of mine since I was in high school.  It is definitely one of those weird things about me people learn after spending some time with me.

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I have an insane music collection.  The music collection will not fit on my 32gb iPod.  Do not ask me to classify what style of music I listen to because I have something for everyone. And, in any one day, I can go from listening to Cuban Salsa to Metal to Pop to Rap.  I listen to what I like. If anything, the more obscure, the more I like it.  But that is even false since I am just a huge fan of music in general.  And, I should mention that I have a large number of CDs that still have not been ripped to MP3, so this does not even represent the whole collection.

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I love power tools. The cordless drill in the house is actually mine.  I have bought the last two we have owned. I love taking things apart and fixing them.  I have decided recently there is a downside.  While taking the vacuum cleaner apart, I realized if I wasn't so adept at using the tools, I could just stop vacuuming and wait until Garbanzo came home.  Damn! I knew there was a downside.

Oh, and for those of you who (like me) have their mind in the gutter most of the time, I do have those kind of tools too. Most are "hand tools" if you will versus "power", but they get the job done.

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I am really looking forward to my husband's ex-girlfriend from high school moving back to town soon.  She has taken up the hobby of brewing beer and making her how wine.  She has already offered to make me her official tester for both.  I knew I loved her for a reason. 

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My friend and I are going to drag Garbanzo to a good strip club soon.  We are planning a time.  I still need to get the experience of Seattle out of my head.  Thankfully, our friend has learned where to and where not to go. Figured I should use her experience. :)

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Have I mentioned how excited I am to out of town with my husband in a couple weeks?  If not, I am beyond excited.  I'm looking forward to spending the weekend with him.  We're hopefully going to meet a new friend while in town. It should be a great weekend, and I can't wait. 

Happy Hump Day!

Day 262 - One Down

This is JJ.  JJ is a Chinchilla.  The son of two other chinchillas and an orphan.  A year last June, JJ's mom was tragically killed by our yellow lab Bob.  Bob thought she was a toy and picked her up to carry her around the house.  This was a little much for her, and she died when Bob tossed her across the room.  It was horrible.  No blood thankfully, but it was horrible dealing with two children freaking out while Garbanzo was out of town.  But, we held a funeral and all was well.  Except we couldn't find JJ who was 2 weeks old at the time.  Thankfully a cat gave us a clue as to where he was - and we found him.  And had to feed him with an eye dropper for a month.  (Goat's milk, in case anyone ever gets stuck with such a task.)

It really is hard to believe that JJ is huge now. Chinchillas are neat little creatures.  We just have too many creatures.  JJ is going to go live at Derek's school in his classroom.  We are loaning him out.  We figured this would be the least traumatic way for DJ, our 9-year-old.  She is horrified at the idea of giving pets away....but we have WAY too many.  Three chinchillas, two dogs, two cats, a guinea pig and two chickens - it is time to thin the herd.  Our hope is that we find a classroom home for the other two as well. 

Tomorrow JJ is going to visit DJ's class.  Then Monday, I will be transporting said chinchilla to his new home for a while.  I hope he has fun.  He is a cute little guy. 

A Rant for Tuesday

Excuse the bitch session, but I do have to get a few things off of my chest.

First - I'm going to kill my brothers. Yes, I am aware it is a bad idea to document your intent to kill two people, but it has truly gotten to that point. I found out over the weekend two things: 1. My dad is dealing with depression and anxiety again - like in full force and 2. My brother who owes me money is avoiding me because he has no intention of paying me back even though he just got a pretty decent sum of money from a lawsuit settlement.

Going to the first point, no one has fucking called me to let me know it has gotten that bad with my dad. No one. Clearly, they are baffled by the way telephones work and only believe they can receive calls and not make them. I know they get frustrated with my dad when he gets like this, but they also know that I can usually get he and/or my mom to do stuff in situations like these.  My mom will actually listen to me. Why? Because they view me as....wait for it....an adult. 

My brothers haven't achieved such status because they have yet to act like one. And, I'm not saying you have be serious, put away childish things, and all of that jazz to be considered an adult. For me, it is simply acting like an adult with my parents. My brothers both revert back to teenagers around them. Their adult attitude, in their eyes, is talking down to my parents. My dad, in particular, responds well to this tactic.  Really, he's like me - and fucks with them, does the opposite,etc. The apple didn't fall far from the tree.

I am also pissed at the fact my youngest brother is avoiding me because of the money thing which is, in turn, hurting my dad.  Here is the big reality: I wouldn't take the money back if he gave it to me in cash. Why? The last time he fucked the money thing up, his girlfriend created huge family drama about it.  I found out from my mom that EVERYONE heard about it. And it was my dad who asked why they were bragging about the fact they mismanage their money to the point where they would be writing bad checks.  My mom asked if they needed a lesson in balancing a checkbook. I'm sure I'm being blamed for both of their responses.

So, now I'm trying to decide what I want to do. I want to go down and see my parents - my dad specifically, after I get laid off. But, in doing so, I will have to deal with the two dumbasses known as my brothers. Oh, and they will "play nice" I'm sure which will just piss me off.  Why? I'm more from the school of "grow a pair and be out with it". I'm not a game player.  I'm not passive aggressive.  If you piss me off, you'll know.  I'm not sure I can get through a couple of days without telling both of those asshats what they can do to themselves.

The second thing I must bitch about is the teachers at my husband's school.  First off, teacher drama is not a victimless crime.  The victims can be the kids, but mainly, the victims are the teachers who actually care. And Garbanzo being a teacher who cares is continually victimized. 

For example, Garbanzo as the social studies and language arts teacher is doing the annual trip to outdoors school, a science based week.  Yes, he volunteered to do it two years ago. Why? Because his cohort who was supposed to do it groaned when it came up.  She has done it every year she has been a science teacher regardless of situation.  And, because of this - she is a bit burned out.  Garbanzo didn't mind, so he said he would do it for her that year.

Enter a new middle school teacher.....who likes everything his way.  I don't really need to go further do it?  You are smart - you can see how this is going to end.  But wait, there is a bit more.  The middle school science teacher is pregnant, so it really isn't feasible for her to do it this year.  The newer teacher started thinking he would like to do it.  He wanted the experience.  Great.  Garbanzo is in LA the weekend before he would leave before outdoors school, so this would be a relief for him and for us. 

The new guy - decides he really can't do it.  I mean, it rains in Oregon that time of the year.  It would be cold.  And, he's got more important things to do - like wash his hair.

The new guy, in addition to not being flexible about this one, has also got Garbanzo teaching an extra class.  Why? Because the kids need more language arts and writing, so Garbanzo should do it.  He's the guy with the English degree. Huh? Where is this guy volunteering for anything himself??

Some of this is the joy of being a teacher's wife.  But, this is starting to be too much.  At this point, our family schedule for weekends and such will not improve before November....wait, scratch that, make that December.  (November is parent-teacher conferences, and such, so pretty much I won't be seeing much of Garbanzo between that and outdoor school.)  And that pisses me off.  Why is this guy impacting what I want to do with my family?  There is something fucked up about that, in my opinion.

This came to a head today when we were trying to plan a run we both want to do.  But, Garbanzo isn't going to be able to do it because this guy isn't willing to give Garbanzo any weekends for our family.  I looked for an alternative, but that won't work either for similar reasons.  It's a fucking Sunday run.  The guy knows how this is impacting our family and doesn't care - yet when this guy wants something, Garbanzo is expected to bend over backwards and do it.  Like I told Garbanzo today, it's time to say 'no'.  And I don't fucking care if he feels obligated to do it, I think he should force the fucking issue and make this jackass do it.  I'm pretty sure the principal would support him on this one.

I mean, I am pretty much at the mercy of whatever the fuck is happening at the school - and that is fucked up.  While work and home life collide sometimes, this, in my opinion, is a bit different.

So, that's what I've been dealing with the last few days.  Thank you for listening.  And, if you hear I have killed someone on the news, I would appreciate it if your response to the media isn't, "Oh, yeah, it's not surprise Emmy killed them. She talked about it all of the time!"  Sounds shocked.  And vouch for my character.  Thank you.

Day 261 - A Bike Ride

Having the day off today, I got up and went for an easy bike ride along the Columbia River.  What a fabulous day for it too!

Riding along the river Lewis and Clark traveled on such a gorgeous day was amazing.  And seeing Mt Hood ahead of me. I love where I live.

But, it also reminded me of the sailing afternoon from hell, but that was because of the wind.  Didn't notice the wind, until I was biking against it. 

I was just happy I brought my camera with me.

An Auction and An Awkward Encounter

Hubman and Veronica often describe swinging and the secret-keeping that goes along with it as sort of an "honor amongst thieves". 

Soon after we started, this got put to the test.

You see, it started with a weird moment at the parents association's annual school auction.  We had spent our allotted budget that night, so I was waiting to pay for what we won.  A group of parent volunteers had been acting as cashiers, and I had been chatting with one of moms as they figured out a an item we won as a gift to our daughter's teacher.  Her shift was ending, and she was replaced by a dad. 

I had never met this dad.  He is good looking and flirty.  Boy, was he flirty.  And checking out my cleavage.  I was wearing my v-necked cashmere sweater.  And, yes, my tits looked good - but I'm also a teacher's wife - EVERYONE knows who I am.  And, the other volunteers who were sitting next to him - parents I know well as they have kids who are friends of our daughters.  So the flirting, the glances at my cleavage, and all were starting to get a bit uncomfortable.

It was one of those encounters that started making me wonder - had he seen our profile on one of the sites?

At first I played along with his flirting.  I was being nice, and like I said, he was good looking.  But, the other parents were starting to notice, so I took my leave by volunteering to go and talk with the group tabulating the auction items to find out what's happening. 

I told Garbanzo about this incident later.  We laughed it off assuming it was a new parent who maybe didn't know I was his wife.  Nothing to worry about.

About a month later, we were invited by a couple we were seeing to visit a local lifestyles club.  We were talking and people watching when Garbanzo turned beet read and sat back in the booth.

"That's the parent."
"What?" as I look around.

Who did I see? I see the same dad.  He has brought a date to this place.  A date that clearly did not quite understand what this place was judging by her body language.

The couple we were with immediately offered to leave.  They could tell it was uncomfortable.  I told the story as to why I found it ironic and a bit funny, but Garbanzo was clearly uncomfortable.

And, it became clear that the parent recognized Garbanzo as well.

Yes, he's a teacher with a morality clause in his contract.  But, it was bigger than that.  He didn't really know the parent.  And their school is small - like really small.  And, some are willing to throw themselves under the bus to have the good gossip about someone - especially a teacher or staff member.

The night went downhill from there - even though he and his date ultimately left.  (While they left, we were once again chuckling at the fact this was likely going to be his last date with the woman because she was not looking very happy.)  In the end,  this did not have nearly the impact on our "date" as much as the fact it had become quite clear that the male half of the couple wasn't quite into this idea like the female half.  So, we called it a night.

Since then, we have spent quite a bit of time trying to figure out who this dad is.  Would he honor his fellow thieves by keeping our secrets?

A few nights ago, while eating dinner between the taekwondo classes, I got a text message while in the restroom.  "Swinger Dad is here."

Great.

Sure enough, there he was.

"Is that so-and-so from your class?" Garbanzo asks one of the kids.
"Yeah, that's Seth.  He's been in my class since kindergarten."

Garbanzo and I just chuckle to ourselves.  It all fell into place now.  Here I was hoping it was the dad of a kid in a different grade and different class.  Nope. No such luck.

Wonder when back to school night is?  And, I hope his son doesn't sit next to my daughter in the classroom.  That could make back-to-school night really interesting!  And, since Garbanzo will be doing his own back-to-school presentation for parents, I'll be handling this one on my own.

Day 260 - Family Fetish Outtings

Each year, we take our kids to the Pirate Festival.  While some complain it is spendy, I contend that any place for that price that has 3 stages of entertainment going on, activities setup for the kids , access to 3 ginormous bounce houses, and gives a reason for the kids to get dressed up all for no additional charge is a good deal. Especially when you compare it to the cost of the zoo, or children's museum, or even a movie these days.

But I digress.

This year, unlike past years, I have noticed one thing - when did dressing like a pirate mean dressing so provocatively?  I was reminded of the line from Mean Girls: "Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it."  Was that the philosophy this year?  Except, this is the one time where you can wear your fetish wear in public and around your kids and not have it be considered wearing fetish wear.

I thought it was just me until we ran into a parent and friend at the fair with her family.  She said the same thing.  Toss in the fact the leather booths were selling cats of nine tail, whips (for boatswain of course), and leather cuffs for tying the bad pirates down(?) - and the Pirate Fest was really the fetish fest in a cleaver disguish. 

Then there were the "costumes"....

While she had the legs to pull off the fishnets, I don't see a pirate wearing them.  Not very practical. Also made me wonder what her role was on the ship.  The woman was hot. I'll give her that.  Just found it an interesting choice a a pirate for the day.

Or this woman....

While I like her goth look - a pirate she was not.  Then there is the woman behind her.  I have no idea.

I tried to get some more pictures of various "pirate costumes" but could not do it discretely. 

What I found ironic was the fact they were trying to break the Guinness Book of World Records of largest number of pirates assembled.  They gave instructions on what a pirate costume must consist of in order for you to be counted as a pirate.  You guessed it - none of my examples would have been feasible. 

Oh, well...it made for an interesting trip.

And, I know I picked up a little something for non-pirate festival play.....but that's for a later post and maybe an HNT.... ;-)

To The Victor Goes the Spoils

"Okay, you got your beer. You got your meal. Now what do you want?"

It's funny.  I had been thinking about it all night.  What sexual favor did I want from my husband?  This one was hard (yes, I know, Hubman, I said it was hard.)  What made this decision hard was that we always ask and give each other what we want sexually.  Like the blow job he was hoping to win - it's not like it has been weeks since he's had one.  More like maybe 24 hours.  That is what made this bet somewhat humorous - we never need an excuse for doing these things in bed.

"I want you to go down on me," I decided.

Garbanzo was giddy.  He loves going down on me.  He always has.  While I would hear stories about women having to convince their lovers to go down on them, Garbanzo was the opposite.  He went down on me from like the first time we ever had sex. 

"I was hoping you'd say that."

Despite his love for giving me oral pleasure, we don't do it often. And, mainly it is because I am quite ticklish. While I love laughter in the bedroom, this usually results in the kind that is difficult to recover from.  I have destroyed the mood many times.  It is usually part of round two of foreplay, if I'm feeling patient for a round two....I'm less ticklish then.

He positioned himself between my legs. He spread my labia wide and started licking and sucking all around my clit.  Each time his tongue came close to it, I would hold my breath in anticipation of him touching it.  Each time he heard me, he would divert his attention elsewhere.  When I was starting to relax, he finally touched it lightly with the tip of his tongue.  By this time, I'm so turned on that the lightest touch was enough to send waves through me. 

But he continued to play. He continued to lick my clit then move away from it.  Just when I was about to be frustrated, he focused in on exactly what I wanted.  I was over the moon.  Soon, he had me walking that edge - I was about to fall over it and into orgasmic bliss.  Like always happen from this kind of orgasm, I know it will happen without warning.  He reached up and squeezed a nipple.  And it does. I ride the orgasm until I cannot take the stimulation anymore - and I push him away.

He looks up at me with a grin, then climbs up my body to kiss me.  I love being kissed after.

As we kiss, he slid into me with one stroke.  I reposition my legs to be on his shoulders so he can fuck me deep.  And fuck me he does - hard and deep just like I like it after an orgasm. 

It all felt so great until he started slowing down. 
"What are you doing?"
"I want you to cum again."

I reach between us and start stroking my clit as he slowing fucks me.  I soon feel another orgasm building again.  He finally whispered, "Cum for me again!" And, I do.

He withdrew his cock and told me to get on my hands and knees.  Soon he is back inside of me fucking me hard again. With each stroke, I fuck him back.  The slap of our bodies and our moans fill the room.  I start encouraging him knowing the talk will send him over the edge, and it did.

As we lay there in a pile on the bed catching our breath, he asked, "Did that fulfill my debt?"
"I'll let you know."