Wednesday, March 31, 2010

HNT - The Swat


"I want a picture of your ass after I use this" and he held up his new paddle with three hearts inset in the leather.

This is how TL and I tend to work. He brings something up in the way he does. A challenge almost - to see if I'll back down.  We both know I won't.

"If I want the hearts to show up, there can be no warm up. I'll have to just do it. Think you can handle it?"

"I'm sure I'll be fine."

"Are you sure? I mean, it's going to hurt."

"Yes, I will be fine."

I leaned over the chaise part of his couch and felt the paddle on my ass.  As he held it there then removed it then placed it again, I grew impatient.

"What are you doing?"

"Lining the hearts up. Why," he asked amused, " are you nervous?"

"No, just wondering what you were waiting for."

I felt the paddle leave my ass, then "whack!"

It smarted, but it wasn't bad.  But, I definitely felt the mark get red.
He did the other cheek too, but the hearts didn't show up as well. Something about the angle of the swat.

Later, as we were laying on the couch talking, he put his hand on my ass absently.
It was then I really felt it.
By the time I got home, there was still an outline.

Day 90 - Fire Part 2


Very small cake. 36 candles.
It had to be done.
The look on his face - priceless.


Happy Birthday!

To my love.
The lovely and talented Garbanzo.



I hope his day is full of students are listen, are eager to learn, and have done their homework.
Happy birthday, my love!

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Day 89 - Fire


I've felt like crap the last two days. Today, after sleeping through my alarm, I decided it was best to sleep. I sounded horrible - and felt the same. I blame the executive I've been working with who a week had the same thing. We all told him to either lock himself in his office and not interact with people directly - or go home. "I'm not contagious" he said. Wanna bet?

I made a fire tonight after not being able to get warm. 
It has definitely helped. As did the spicy food we had for dinner tonight.

Expectations, Communication and Growth - Oh, My!

THIS is my problem.

I was raised to believe that you should treat people as you would want to be treated. Not a bad lesson for life - a great one in fact.

But....

....we all knew there was a "but".....

I don't always get treated back the same way by people.

I have often spoken about times when I get so fucking frustrated with people in my world. The mind zombies - the ones that go around act and behave in such a way that it just eats your brain trying to figure out what or how they think that 's okay. They spin you around so much that your head wants to fucking explode sometimes.

My family - the ones that send mixed messages. My brothers who in their 30s still play the "but she got it" game without looking at the "how" part of how Emmy got it. Nor do they treat me the same way I treat them.

I have friends who run to me for a shoulder to cry on, but disappear after that. Or they run to me to brag about things, then disappear. I'm simply a sounding board. As horrible as it sounds, many of them wouldn't return the favor.

I have always prided myself on having a few people in my life who will treat me the way I treat them. Who will offer a shoulder just as I would offer them mine. Who listens and is patient (or act as such) just like I hope I do for them.

My husband is usually never in this category, but let's just say we hit a bump (twice) where he found himself in the category of "those people" in my life. Instead of being the exception like normal.  I don't normally talk about the rough patches in our relationship as it is not me. Plus, more importantly, it is not fair to him.

But....

....and you knew there would be one....

I'm a bit wounded by this last one.

Communication is a beautiful thing - if it is two way. Your spouse or partner or whatever you want to call the love of your life can sometimes stumble just like you can with them. We can all sometimes forget that listening is more than just a "keep your mouth shut" exercise. And that communication isn't always words coming out of your mouth. It is the body language and inflection as well as silence.

While we are now on the same page.
While things are back to normal.
One things is not for me - my own reaction to the situation.

When others in my life do this, I say 'fuck 'em' and pull back. I avoid the situations where the drama gets generated especially when confrontation isn't possible or doesn't make sense. I simple retreat into a position where I can control things. Because, my friends, I am a control freak if I can. (A huge irony for those who know me in the biblical sense.)

Here's the problem - I can't do it this time.
My normal response is not possible. I can't blow him off. I can't write him off. I can't put him into a position where I deal with him when I feel like it. Okay, I could - but not if the marriage is to stay in tact. (It's not at risk. Don't worry there, but me reacting in these ways would surely put it at risk.)

So while I forgive the situation
While I see that we are together fixing the communication issue that was the problem
I have to get back in the game and play it just like I had before it happened. An approach I haven't had to take before except in actual sports situations.

This is hard for me. Not because I don't trust him. Because I don't trust myself.
Thankfully, I do have some people who are looking out for me. My husband included.
No one ever claimed personal growth was easy, right

(And in case anyone wonders: Garbanzo approves this message. Didn't want anyone thinking I published this without his full awareness. It's funny because he said, after I let him read it, that he understands my internal conflict a bit better than he did beforehand.  So, it was cathartic AND educational.)




Monday, March 29, 2010

Day 88 - Peas and Projects


First day back at school after a week off for spring break, and my little girl scouts were bouncing off the walls. My planned activity was thwarted thanks to the return of winter weather (rain and wind and cold) here in the Pacific Northwest, so I had to punt. We were going to plant things outside of the school, so instead we planted seeds inside to start them. Then, the girls made snow pea plants. Out of pipe cleaners and tissue paper. I'm way too creative sometimes. The girls loved it. It kept them busy. And, I didn't pull my hair out. All good things.

Characters


"The post was very nice....Made me seem like a real guy. :)"

It's funny getting this message from TL this morning after he read this post.

I was a very conscious decision to write that as I did. I think many times as a blogger, I give people glimpses into my life. And the people in it are only one dimensional. I mean, TL is my sex slave, as you all know. But really he is more than that.

TL is one of my best friends. It's weird to have met someone I have so much in common with through an acquaintance in the lifestyle. Or maybe it is just kind of unusual. I've mentioned before that we have great mind moments where we will do or act the exact same way. I think they still blow us away when we have them.

Take this weekend. I believe I have at least one sexy story in there. But, the best part was just being with my friend. Sitting on the couch, curled up together, talking as we watch something on his Tivo. It's nice having someone around that gets me. That can understand the tech speak. That has the same sense of humor. Who knows all facets of my life....or damn near all of them. There is something very nice about that.

Like I said, I have a sexy story or two from the weekend. But, my main memories will be sitting in the pub having a drink, eating and talking. Curled up on the couch. Curled up in bed together - spooning as we watched TV - and falling asleep only to realized what we were watching was done and we had both missed it. Having him make coffee in the morning in an attempt to help my headache go away - and laughing at his foo-foo way of drinking it. The scrambling around after someone rang the doorbell catching us naked on the couch. Thank goodness he had given me his bathrobe earlier when it was still cool in the house. Those are the times I recall readily from my Friday night and Saturday with TL.

So, while I may write about him as a character on my blog. While I may describe the great sex we had or the fantasy, he is not a character. He is a person in my life. One that I care about. Just like my husband, my kids, my family and my playmates and friends. All may play characters in stories, but their characters don't always capture truly what they are in my life.

As a reader, I think that's what I always remind myself of when I read other blogs. I remind myself that regardless of who the story is told about, that the dimension isn't there. I know this person via a single event or a series events as retold through the eyes of the author. And while those glimpses can be entertaining or frustrating or sweet, it is only a glimpse. And only through the series of glimpses, may I hope to learn a bit more about the person or people involved. But until I do, they ARE only characters.


Sunday, March 28, 2010

Day 87 - Neighborhood Walk


Why do I see this and thing "gum-gum, dumb, dumb"?




I love dogwood trees. The blossoms are gorgeous.


I wondered why there was this warning on the bench, until I saw this:


Flying elephants can be dangerous I'm sure


Lucky and Thankful

I feel very lucky. I am married to a guy who is good at surprising me.

TL and I haven't seen each other since the house party. Our last actually conversation - like on the phone or face-to-face - was the day after the house party when we talked on his drive home.  Being the good technology geeks that we are, we keep in touch via text, IM and email. While this may not seem like anything unusual, this is pretty much daily.....multiple times per day.

We have had some pretty good conversations via technology, but it never replaces things like body language, expression, being able to look into someone's eyes, etc.  And because of technology, we have had a few misunderstandings. They all get resolved because thankfully we are direct people who will just resolve them, but it punctuates the point that technology cannot totally replace actual communication.

We have been trying to find time to get together for a few months now. Not just to have sex, but to just see each other. I mean, TL is one of my best friends - it's always good to actually see the person that holds that position in my life.

Wednesday night, my husband told me that I would be going to see TL Friday night. He had chatted with TL, he was going to be alone (sans kids), so I was going to down to visit him. It was all arranged.

It totally floored me. I was surprised - and happy.

So, Friday, I came home from work and jumped in the car for the drive to see TL.

And, even though there might be a sexy story to tell, the visit was mostly about just being together and spending time together. At dinner, midway through saying something, TL grabbed my hand and said, "Emmy, can I just say how happy I am that you are here. It has been too long."

The feeling was incredibly mutual.
And the trip and visit was exactly what I needed - we needed.
I mean there is nothing better than getting to see a good friend and just talking.

And I feel incredibly lucky that I have a husband who understands that needs and made it happen for me.
Thank you, my love.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Day 85 & 86 - Scenery


Sisters


Mt Jefferson

Both were scene on my drive back today. I got to go down and see TL last night. It was a beautiful drive back.
More on the trip later, I'm sure.

e[lust] #10


HNT Courtesy of Babe Lincoln

Welcome to e[lust] - The 10th edition! Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #11? Start with the rules, check out the schedule in the site’s sidebar and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~

Negotiation - Not Nearly As Awkward As Having a Breakdown in Public - All the worries about getting to know a new person (“Am I dressed ok? Are they gonna like my stories about my grandma?”) get exaggerated when you’re talking about sex and desire...

Dollar Store Domme - He definitely can't elude the dollops of toothpaste I dab onto his nipples. It takes a delicious second before he feels the cool burn penetrate his flesh. By that time I'm already up and selecting a plastic spatula from the credenza.

The Best of Both Worlds or Lost in Limbo? - Whether intentional or unthinking, bisexual denial is a frustrating thing for bisexual, pansexual or ‘fluid’ people to have to deal with.

~ e[lust] Editress ~

Navigating Genderqueer in Suburbia - But pray tell how do the rest of us navigate it? How the hell am I supposed to know if you identify as male or just like dressing like one?

~ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ~

The Daddy Issue: Sexualizing Abuse - I needed to walk through this fear, and turn it into pleasure. I needed to prove to myself that he hadn’t broken me. That he hadn’t changed who I was to become. That I was not affected by what he did. That he didn’t abuse me.

See also: Pleasurists #69 and #70 for all your sex toy review needs.

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Erotic Writing

15 minute phone sex
...And Orgasms On Demand
A Neighbor In Need #7
Afternoon Delight!
Casino
Desperation & Dominance
Dreams
Evening Home, Part 3
First Asleep Loses
Happy ending
I Got....
I am a keeper of secrets
I Got Fucked
I am Coming for You: A Letter to Scin
Late Night Satisfaction
Lolita's Mother
Making M Squirt
Sir ~ intro
The Hatter
The Flash Fiction Friday FAQ!
Trussed
We fucked, they applauded
Where there is a libido, there is a way
Wicked Wednesday: Idyll

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

20 Reasons Why Sex Is Good
Defining Sex
Hurt me, Pet
I Was Raped
Playing Dumb
Red Flags of an Abusive Partner, Part 2
Restrictions and Satisfaction
Someone Else's Shoes
Sex Isn't Everything
The Art of Sensual Touching-Caressing for You and Your Partner
The STI You Haven't Heard of: Molluscum contagiosum
The Suit
Vibrant Woman or Live Masturbation Sleeve
What I Don't Need

Kink & Fetish

A Little Girl's Need for Submission
Are You Done Yet?
A Reformatory Punishment
BDSM Advice Series: Floggers
Bruises
Determined to bind
His Slut
I Really Wasn't In The Mood
Impact
Pain and Healing
Questions From DH About These Things We Do
Surrender
Sub Drop: Fact or Fiction?
Tiiu Ashcraft - Fetish Artist and Beauty
The Eroticism of Tattoos
The Competition
Wanting to want

Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor

A History of Violence
Asshat of the Day Award
Awesome Mentoring Work and Upcoming Apprenticeship

Friday, March 26, 2010

A Rant about Education


I love the idea of merit pay. In my own job as well as education. I mean, who wouldn't want more pay because their projects or work is better than their peers. What's funny about the idea of merit pay in general is it never really works as people envision it. I remember having that magical idea blown away the first time I was managing people and had to do annual merit increases and performance reviews.
 
The idea is simple. Your employee has objectives they have to achieve in the job. Sometimes it is simply doing their job. Others it is more defined by the performance objectives than the job description. For example, "repair computers" is a job description you might measure an employee against especially if they aren't doing it well. "Perform computer repairs with an average 30 minute turnaround" is more of a measure of that task. You have stats determining how that is done. You do that by measuring each repair and doing the math to see, if on average, the objective is met.
 
All nice and good, right. They get a great review. They are an exceptional employee. They deserve a big salary bump to acknowledge it, right?
 
Well, kinda.
 
Most high tech industries I have talked with over the years have a pool of money for the raises. And, to make sure that it is distributed fairly among all of those exceptional employees, they average the raise. For example, each year, HR would inform managers that the average pay increase had to be 5%. If you have 2 employees, this means they either both get a 5% merit increase thus making it easy. Or one gets a 10% increase while the other gets 0%. Or you play with the numbers until everyone gets a fair amount and you don't feel like you are giving a good employee an extra $5 in their paycheck, thus sending them the wrong message. In the end, most managers over the years would simply give everyone a 5% merit increase just to be fair. Or hope they have someone so totally maxed out of their pay grade that they can't get a merit increase because they may have done a great job, but they aren't ready for a promotion yet. This lets you play with the numbers a bit.  In the end, no one truly gets a merit increase. They get whatever raise can happen with the pool of money they have been given.
 
Now, let's apply this merit idea to teaching.  If you are an elementary school teacher, you have 20-30 kids in your class. Each one of those would have to be a performance objective since even as a group, they are still individuals. Or do you do an average in the  class? Not a good move since each kid has their own needs, and you want the teachers to teach them all. (Hell, there is a law to ensure kids get equal education.)  So, it would have to be an individual objective for each kid. A baseline would need to be done at the start of the school year to determine where they are at with the reading, writing, and arithmetic. It would need to be compared to educational developmental standards for that age group. Except, not every kid fits into it. Some have diagnosed learning disabilities, others have ADHD, others may be on the autism spectrum, others may be outside of what is considered normal for that age group.  So, what does the objective become? Get them to level for their age and grade level? What if that isn't possible given how low they are, their learning disability, or their other factors? What about the kids who are above level already?  And what do you do for middle school and high school teachers who teach 5 classes of 20-30 kids per day?
 
And how do you get parental commitment to this process? I mean, my husband has taught at two different schools: a low-income, inner city school and an high-income school. Both present their own unique challenges. The inner city school had parents who really, at the end of the day, were sending the kids to school for two reasons: free daycare and free lunch. That educational crap was simply the price of admission. And, as long as the kid went there and didn't get into trouble, the kid was doing good from the parents standpoint. Did these kids do their homework? Only if the kid decided to do it.
 
By contrast, the high-income parents want the best education for their kids but often are the barrier. If their kid didn't study or lied about doing their homework, they are telling the teachers the test was too hard. They are trying to find the loophole for getting the work turned in late for full credit. They are working with the school principal to get the letter grade changed to pass-fail so that it doesn't stunt their kid's mental development by seeing that D on their report card. My husband has a girl who is repeating a grade this year. Her parents are making excuses why she can't do the homework, etc. My husband finally pointed out to them that this is the 2nd time with the material. She isn't even trying at this point as she isn't getting the basic info right. The parents gave a blank stare and started with the excuses again. So, how do you either get the parents into the process in a positive way or get their influence out of it?
 
So, how do you setup (successfully) a way for the teachers to get measured? Standardized tests? Studies have shown that some kids have a learning style that does not accurately reflect on those tests. Also, what do you do with the kids who are low. They may get an average, but for this kid, that may be fantastic whereas the score for a different kid may be seen as not so good given where they are. That doesn't work.
 
For the sake of argument, say we find that magical way of setting and measuring objectives - what do you give the teachers doing well? What is their "merit increase"? Districts around here are in a pay freeze and have been for a while. So, there is no merit pool. And when they do give cost of living adjustments, they give about half of standard cost of living. So, now you are tossing a $5 bill at these people doing fabulous jobs. Not much motivation to do well. Simply keeping their jobs? As someone once told me when I got into management, this IS a volunteer army. At the end of the day, they start getting pissed, the passion that kept them there will drive them away just as quickly. And if they are fabulous teachers - someone will snag them.
 
Unlike the private sector, you don't have much outside of the "keeping their jobs" to reward these people - these people who we all want to be the best of the best. So, how do you get rid of the bad teachers (which IS at the end of the day the goal with all of this) without fucking over the good teachers in the process?
 
Here is the problem - education as an institution is the problem. It no longer fits into society as it was designed hundreds of years ago. Education was considered one of the pillars in society - standing right there next to "family" and "church". But, as society changed, families changed, church attendance dropped, education did not change.
 
Look back 100 years ago. You saw families as having two parents. Mom was usually at home. Dad worked a steady job. The neighborhood watched out for the kids. Extended families were tight. And people attended church on Sunday.
 
Today, this is not the case. As families evolved to a point where that has many different configurations and meanings. No one is likely home with the kids. Extended family isn't a street over but likely across the country. And neighbors are not necessarily people you would trust to watch out for your kids. And who goes to church on Sunday in this audience? Yeah, me neither.
 
But, during all of this, school stayed the same. It's funded basically the same way. The hierarchy is the same - school board here, superintendent there, principal and teachers. Sure, there may be no school counselor or full-time nurse, but the structure is still there. And as society shifted, this did not. But, what society looked for the school to provide did change. Some of it for the best, some of it is to cover what isn't being accomplished at home or at church.
 
Do I think we were better off 100 years ago? No. I'm happy with the evolution personally. But, what I am saying is that education cannot be about standardize tests or No Child Left Untested, I mean, Behind. Running down the people who have to work within this antiquated institution doesn't fix it. Because most teachers believe it is a farce.
 
And even though a good chunk of the teachers I know hate their own unions, they also feel like they would be fucked without them. Why were unions created in the first place? Because as individuals, the workers had no power over their pay, work environment, safety, etc. But, when they stood together - they had to be listened to. I do not believe dissolving the teachers unions would do any more than put districts into situations where they could unfairly fuck over the teachers. And I'm not talking the teachers who deserve to be fucked over.

So here is the quandary. How do you improve the system within the system? I don't personally think you can. I personally think the system needs to be blown up. Not by giving vouchers. Not by getting corporate sponsorship to fill in the monetary gaps. Not by converting to all charter schools. I think we need new ideas in education. I think new ideas need to be embraced, not shunned. I do think principals need more power. I think they need hiring AND firing power that exist outside of the unions. I think that money and savings needs to be looked at like you would any business. Today I do not believe they are.

I do not believe there is a magic bullet to fix it.
Nor do I believe there is one group or another to blame.
I DO believe we are all to blame because we allow it to continue without any real dialog.
I mean - assigning blame is a fun cathartic exercise, but it NEVER fixes anything.

And for the record, my husband says:
"Despite the fact my students achieve near the top of the performance scale, I believe the teachers who work with kids at the inner city schools deal with a tougher challenge and should get more money simply because of that - and not by what their kids achieve. They face a rougher road than I do."

Discuss amongst yourselves.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Day 84 - Great Minds


I found great irony in the fact that my bottle cap said this.

Tomorrow I go and see TL. We have tend to have these "great minds" moment where we say something or even do the same thing at the exact same time. How funny that this would be the bottle cap tonight.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

HNT - Geek Edition


When I need to check a quick thing on the internet, I will sometimes lean over the bed and type on my laptop. As you can see, it is the perfect height for other activities. And, my husband has been known to take advantage of me in this position. Even when I'm checking email.

Check out Os to see who else is playing.
Or for NSFW fun, check OHNT.

For my regular visitors, there will be no picture today. Let's just say that I got distracted....very distracted.
I love those kinds of distractions.




Brain Dump

First off, go over to my friend Derek's blog and wish him happy birthday. Derek lived with us for about 6 months before moving up to live with his boyfriend in Seattle. We miss him, but are happy for him.

And, because he's Derek, he had declared today Mustache Day. So, if you are so inclined, draw one on if you don't already have one and wear it proud. My girls have decided to do it.

I am so freaking far behind in my blog reading that I don't know if I'll ever crawl out from my unread pile. Please forgive my neglect. I swear I will be back to read you....when I find some time in the next few days.

I had a total "back in my day" geek moment the other day at work. I walked by the desktop team configuring the PCs for the new office. While she is dropping down images on all of the hard drives, I couldn't help but remember back when I started in IT doing desktop support. I was the one who did all of the PC configurations. In the first two years, the company doubled in size - from 400 to 800, and I touched everyone of those 400 PCs and then some. The first year was pre-Windows 95 which meant setting IRQs on the devices - specifically the network card so it wouldn't conflict with the CD drives. I can still recall all of the DOS commands for copying the Windows 3.1 and 3.11 for Workgroups configurations. God I feel old.

And speaking of work, the executive I manage the project for is looking to get himself fired for an HR issue. First he compared the process we were going to with the project as being like God delivering the tablets with the 10 commandments to Moses. Then the other day, he asked if he could buy handcuffs as he wanted them to demonstrate a point - that he could go to jail if regulations are not followed. After someone confirmed they could be purchased, he decided to clarify  by adding "I'm not talking the fuzzy kind you can get at those special shops".

I have decided I am done following Facebook for a while. I'm sick of the political debate about the health care bill. The biggest problem is that people don't understand it. I get that. But instead of making assumptions, can we all just wait and see what we find out. I mean, Obama signed it into law Tuesday. And while I would love to believe that everyone knew what it would mean beforehand, no one ever truly does. Sorry, that's the cynic talking. I would love to believe everyone knew exact details, but I doubt it. 

My yard is ready for summer now. I need to now decide what I'm planting in my raised beds. I have two more this year. Our goal of slowly eliminating the yard is being realized. Oh, and the rain barrels are full too. So I'll have water for the gardens as well. I was happy to see they worked so well.

Garbanzo declared the other night that he wants to find someone with a sexy accent to have sex with. Anyone who can do a good sexy accent, please let me know. I think it will be hard to figure out on AFF. And going thru a continual round of of meeting people isn't as fun as it sounds.

Speaking of swinging, my playdate with SG is likely canceled this week. A weird twist of fate created this situation. Oh well, it happens. We both agreed that we needed some time together soon.  Hopefully we can reschedule soon.

Happy Hump Day!

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Day 82 - Run!


This is my running watch. It tracks where I go, how far, and what my pace is.

But here's the thing. I've sucked lately. Last week, I felt like crap so running was out.  The week before that, I just slacked. The week before that was better than the week prior but still sucked. Needless to say, I'm supposed to do a 6 mile run on Saturday and .... well, I am ill prepared.

Tonight, I came home and ran. Did an easy 5k. My per-mile pace was actually not bad. But, when I hooked up the watch, it showed me how many times I have not gone for a run over these past weeks.  So, each week, you my blog followers are going to get an update. And if you don't get an update on my running, I expect asking. I expect pestering. Please do.

A Dirty Girl with Needs

You were in bed with us last night.

As he fucked me, he told me what he wanted to do to me. How he wanted there to be a second person in bed with us - a second man to help him take care of me.
 
I had told him earlier that I needed to be fucked. That once wasn't going to be enough - I needed that kind of fuck that would result in an orgasm that would leave me feeling wrung out - not wanting more - not able to take more.

I was in a horny, dirty mood - and he knew exactly what I needed.
 
So while he fucked me every which way I needed, he told me how he knew it would take more than just him to give me exactly what I needed.

How if you were there, how you could take turns fucking me - using me to take what you both wanted. How after fucking me for a while, he would bend me over his knee and spank me as I sucked your cock. And if he didn't think he was doing a good enough job, how he would suggest you switch places so you could take over. Then when my ass was nice and red, he would encourage you to slide right in and to fuck it hard. He told me how he wanted to fist me in front of you. Fist me and make me cum knowing I would have a strong but quick orgasm. Then he'd want you to fist me figuring I would be ready and able to take you after having just taken him. As you worked your hand into my pussy, he would have me suck him off.  After I took care of him and you gave me a second orgasm, he would tell me to make you cum - however and whatever way you wanted.
 
And I would take care of you - offering you whatever you needed to make you get that finish-off orgasm that you would need. Maybe I would lean you back and get on top - grinding my pussy on your cock. Or instead, I would guide your cock into my ass as I moved slowly up and down on it. Maybe I would bend over the bed, so you could fuck me that way knowing how much you like pounding into me from behind. Trying to find that angle where your cock gets that extra friction as it rubs against my pubic bone. Whatever it would take - whatever you would want - until you cum.
 
Then we would get into bed - me between you two - with the promise that it would happen again. Because even though I may be done, you both may not be done with me.

You were in bed with us last night....
....even when you weren't.
Not to say I would kick you out of bed if you had been.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Day 81 - In Miniature




Family Drama and Beer: A Weekend Review

My weekend, overall, didn't suck. But, it was not the relaxing laid back weekend I had wanted or needed.

While I love my family, the tension was a bit much at times.  My parents revealed that their unhappiness down there is partially because of the bullshit between them and my brothers and SILs. There seems to be this assumption on the part of my siblings that my parents are out to make their lives hell. And, what drives my parents - my dad especially - crazy is that they feel they have to walk on eggshells around those guys. They have to hold back and can't say what they really want to say on pretty much any subject. I'm not talking about my parents telling them how to live their lives, but simple things like how to answer a question like "what do you think about the health care reform bill". Any answer is met with conflict and judgment. Layer on top of that the demonstration of this behavior of my SIL Friday night, and I can see how they would feel that way.

Oh, and my SIL did not give up either. She mentioned it again on Facebook of all places. I was pretty annoyed.  And, you want to know why she was annoyed? Because she had heard that if I had a chance to see my friend down there, I wanted to see him. My one brother had to work. My mom had made it clear she wanted to watch our kids - not my niece. Learning this is what set her off.

But, let me explain something that makes this really ironic. I NEVER talk to this SIL. No notes back and forth on Facebook. No phone calls. No real interaction what so ever. Even though they knew were were going to be there, there was still silence on their part. My brother did the same thing - remained silent. So, when we were considering what we would do while down there and having free babysitting, I explored the possibility of going out with a friend. I mean, he and I actually communicate with each other on a regular basis. There is Ironically enough, it didn't work out. I had known this for at least a week, but since they don't talk to me, they never found out and had instead been getting more and more annoyed at our lack of eagerness to go out with them.  The whole situation really demonstrates how poor communication is with these guys.

After all of the bullshit around this drama, we actually did spend the day with my brother and SIL and niece. We enjoyed the weather and ate lunch at a local pub. It was all good, but awkward. I think probably the most awkward for them was the fact they realized they have not talked to us in almost 4 months. They had no idea that I was working again. They had no idea really about anything going on in our lives. You could tell it got to them a bit. Then to see how their daughter interacted with my kids - the way she followed DJ around as though she was the greatest kid in the world. The way DJ kept an eye on her. The way Indigo could make her laugh. It was all quite telling.

Especially when you contrast it with my other brother. He stole my kids on Friday night and took them to his house. Indigo and his stepdaughter are pretty amazing together. And he loves DJ's twisted sense of humor. He literally cannot spend enough time with them. I love that. As do they. And he knows exactly what they are all about. He is already planning weekends with them this summer. I hope he comes thru because I know they would love it.

Probably the funniest part of the weekend came when my bro and I went to his brew shop where he buys his supplies. While there, he wanted to show me their selections of beer by the bottle. As we are walking thru, I start showing him the ones I love. At one point, he looked at me and asked what I haven't tried. He couldn't believe how well I knew my beer. Kinda telling, huh?

After dinner, we left the kids with the grandparents and met my brothers and SILs for bowling and beer. It was a lot of fun, but I think each of us drinking a pitcher of beer each helped. Garbanzo was our designated driver. I have not been that drunk in a LONG time. And Jesus in the Jesus room got to be quite a witness to some fun time we had when we got back. Sadly, we didn't get much sleep, so we came home exhausted.

This week will be weird. The kids and Garbanzo are on spring break. The kids are going to day camp all week. Garbanzo is going to do the annual yard cleanup. This is the first year I won't be taking time off to help (because I have none). We're also going to add more raised beds to the backyard for more veggie garden space. He has helpers for two days. And he has a play date as do I.  And I have my fingers crossed that I may have another one too. But, I know the odds are bad, but I can still hope a little, right?

Hope everyone has a great week!

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Day 80 - Color Among the Dead


On the drive to and from Central Oregon, we pass through this area - an area that was hit by wildfire many years ago. And each time we pass it by, the view is striking. The amazingly colorful bushes that sit among the dead remnants of the burned trees. It always reminds me that even after such devastation, beauty will emerge.



Day 79 - Goose & All

Yeah, I'm late getting yesterday's up. More on that later...

This was what I later discovered one of 5 photos that was not of my kids or my niece. And the pics of my niece were AWESOME, if I may say so myself.

Ok - I must go. I'm getting supervised at my parents' house. More later....



Saturday, March 20, 2010

Sigh....

...and the drama has begun......

My SIL: "what do we smell - is that why you came all this way and weren't planning on spending time with us?"

Her sudden silence and the chill that went thru the room was explained later.

Seems she brought this up in disgust a couple days ago. My mom's comment: "If I'm not mistaken, you were to your sister's town, went to a family event, and didn't even so much as make a phone call to see if they wanted to go. Hell, you were down the street from them. And YOU are judging them because they are considering meeting a friend while here?? Weren't you hanging out with your friends while there?"

This information was based off a conversation my mom and I had about three weeks ago, so I hadn't told anyone plans had changed.

My mom was giving my SIL the stink eye when this came up because my mom was not going to discuss this again.

And all of this happened within the first 2 hrs we were here.
Good times!
Why did my parents stop drinking again??

Friday, March 19, 2010

Day 78 - Sunset


I'm really not sure which mountain this is. (TL - which one is it??) But as we entered the high desert, the sun was setting behind the various mountain ranges. It was gorgeous, and I was happy to capture the silhouette of this one. (Mt Jefferson?). I'll updated it when I know. Regardless, it was a gorgeous drive.

Random Friday Babblings



And I'll be off to see my family this weekend. This is where you insert the Monty Python response to "there was much rejoicing"....yay.

I love my family, I really do. But they drive me nuts. I've well documented this fact on this blog. My brothers are still not seeing eye-to-eye. And there could, if I'm lucky, be an airing of the grievances. Nick really wants to do it. I told him there was no good that could come of it. Plus, Brad has an inability to listen. Good times. 

But hey, we will be in the Jesus room, so sex will be well supervised by a greater power. Or at least blessed by one.

One of the advantages of being sick was that I caught up on some things I had been meaning to watch. The upside of being a computer geek is making sure your wireless signal is strong in the bedroom so that you can watch Netflix and Hulu on the laptop from the comfort of bed.

I watched all three seasons of The Guild.  Go watch them even if you are not a gamer. Anyone who has an online persona (ie: a blogger) can appreciate the show. It is this show that will likely cause me to have a talk with a friend of ours about our swinging. She is actually friends with me on Twitter - so she's had access. But while watching it Wednesday, she and I were texting back and forth about who we would do on the show. She picked the guy, and I agreed and tossed in two of the female characters. Of all of our friends, she could handle the info the best (besides Derek). We know it is just a matter of time. The current wagers is that I will out us after she and I have been drinking.  I think that's a good wager.

I do wish I had had one more day of being sick. I had an offer by SG to bring me soup and to act as nurse. Damn that could have been fun. I think he felt bad because he had a bit of a cold when we played last week, and I jokingly told him that he was to blame. It was actually he and Garbanzo that probably did me in. Too bad I had to go back to work. The downside of being under contract - no paid sick time, and you can't piss them off or they could take the contract away. Oh, well. Maybe another day.

My children are big liars this week. To give you a great example of their lying, I will use Indigo who when asked if she had eaten breakfast responded she had eaten a banana. That would be a great answer normally .... if we had bananas in the house. Even with a chance to change her answer, she stuck by it instead. Yeah, it's been one of those weeks. DJ has also been doing it too proving it is contagious as she has lied about a few things including cutting her own hair.

So my husband being the good man that he is decided their punishment, since lying makes us unhappy, is to make them clean their rooms because that will make them unhappy. Yeah, nothing like some punitive punishment. But, it did need to get done - so I guess I can't complain too much.

Work has been just weird this week. I need more to do. I really do. But, alas, I'm here for a single project - and since that project is paying my wage, I get to focus on that and that alone. I did make a weird discovery this week. Boss these guys around and they are happy. I sent off a task to a senior manager and braced myself for her to flip out. If I was in her shoes, I would have flipped out at me. But, instead, I got a response of "okay, will do." What?? I am micromanaging a person who should not want to be micromanaged - and she is happy. I tried this with another person who can be a pain. His response was the same. I would love to say they are just being helpful, but I think they just like to be told what to do. There is an upside to that - but also a downside. I hate micromanaging senior people. I can do that to junior people or inexperienced people - but not people who shouldn't need it. This will start annoying me soon.....very soon. That is my downside.

Oh, and my husband is addicted to Mantracker on the Science Channel. I'm convinced that a show with that name would be on Logo - or a bad reality show on VH1, but no - it's considered science I guess. When he's gone, I need to delete it from Tivo so I won't be forced to watch it anymore.

Have a great Friday!




Thursday, March 18, 2010

Day 77 - The Usual Subject

....at least for a bit longer.

It was a gorgeous day in the 60s - sunny - no clouds. The best light.
These are daffies I planted 11 years ago. Always happy to see them when they come back.
And this year, so far, the high school kids walking by our house hasn't picked them.