Constant Craving

With the stress of the last few weeks, sex has been the furthest thing from my mind....

....or so I thought.

I woke up the other morning to a sex dream. I rarely recall dreams anyway, and it is extremely rare that I should have an erotic dream. Of course, I woke up just as I was cumming in my dream. Garbanzo was out for a run, so I slid my hand between my legs and discovered I had awoken fairly close to orgasm myself. It didn't take more than maybe a minute to cum in a half dazed awake state.

 And the rest of the morning, I walked around work in this constant state of craving sex...

...craving a firm hand....
....craving for someone else to control me....
....craving a cock in my mouth....
....craving to be tied up....and spanked....and ....
craving to be fucked...a lot.

I walked around the rest of the day in this constant state of wanting,
of needing....of craving that intense experience - one that lasts all day.

Sadly, the evening played out in such a way where it couldn't happen. But Garbanzo teased me. Whispering in my ear exactly what he wanted to do to me - and how - and where. 

And while I took things into hand again when I was alone, that sort of background throbbing has stayed with me since....
....that throbbing that reminds me that despite everything happening, I still have a more primal need.

Day 211 - Rusted

This is a rusty old fuel storage take of some sort. Love the way the old red paint mixed with the rust.  Definitely a sign of the past.

Blasts from the Past - Photography

I have recently come across a few different sites with amazing photographs taken between 1939 and 1949 that I had to share.

The first is a set of photographs capturing the women who built the planes that allowed the US to continue forward during WWII while the men were off at war.  As the author of the article points out, it is amazing to think of our grandmothers building bombers...but many of them did. A former coworker of mine's grandmother was a riveter making planes. She explained that many women took on male names - her name was Hank. I love the image that created for me.

Here is a glimpse or two of the photographs:



Check out the article on BoredPanda (where I linked the photos from). It includes an article from a newspaper about hiring women in 1943. Great article.

The second site is the Denver Post who recently posted photos printed from colored slides from 1939-1943. These photographs are taken from all over the US in an effort to show the effects of the depression in rural areas. 





Check out the site for more pictures. They have 70 posted. All are quite fascinating to look at how much and (in some cases) how little things have changed.

And, just to leave you with something a bit more lighthearted, I would recommend you go read The Bicycle of Terror. If you are a parent, you can related to how you make something worse when trying to make things better with your kids. Even if you aren't a parent, you can probably relate somehow.

Happy Friday!

Days 209-210 - Elephants and Holes

Daddy elephant.


Baby elephant at the zoo taking a nap.


This is a hole. In my bedroom ceiling. This hole represents $2000.  $2000 to fix the bad plumbing job for the shower drain that the previous owners did when they installed the bathroom. They installed the shower drain as though it was a drain to a sink. Yeah, didn't work out too well.

HNT - Engine Work

click the pic, please.

I was asked by Garbanzo the other day to help him with his bus. It involved me leaning over and holding something while he screwed it from below. (Please tell me that I'm not the only one's mind in the gutter after that statement?) As I'm leaning over trying to get a good grip on the instrument I was told to hold, he says "hold on, right there, so I can take a picture or two."  And me, being an obedient wife, gave him made sure he got a few good pics anyway.

Check out Os to see who else is playing this week.
Or OHNT for more fun.

Excuse me as I Rant....

....let me pull over my soap box for this one.....

If there is someone older than you - say your parents or even grandparent's age OR if someone has a young child, is pregnant or has an injury.....GET YOUR ASS UP AND OUT OF THE SEAT AND OFFER IT TO THEM!!

This is my #1 complaint about the train.

It bugs me that they even have to include a message that runs before and after each stop reminding people that priority seating (read the kind that does not require someone to climb stairs) is "reserved for seniors and people with disabilities." But, to see people clearly pretend they don't see the 8-months pregnant woman who has her shopping and her younger child with her is just fucking rude.

I guess it was the way I was raised. I was raised you hold doors open for those older than you. You offer them your seat. You treat them with respect. Why this seems to have flown out the window for many people is beyond me.

Today, an older woman got on the train. It is clear from the way she was dressed and her stuff that she is struggling to make ends me. An elderly woman who is trying not to fall victim to the economy (assuming she hadn't already). And no one would give her a seat. She stood, somewhat hunched over, grabbing on the rail as the train jerked to a stop and start - all the while the youngsters in the seats pretended not to see her.  If I had been closer (and didn't think it would have embarrassed her), I would have yelled at their ass to get up.

Where has this common courtesy gone? If you are a parent, do you teach this to your kids?  I'm just curious.

I guess in situations like these, I can't help but hear my dad's voice in my head saying "is YOUR leg broke? are YOU injured? No? Then get your ass out of that seat!"  And yes, he would have said it exactly like that - then apologized to the man or woman for his dumbass child. And yes, he would have probably used those words too.

For the record, I stand on the train because my leg isn't broken.

For Better or For Worse

The last few weeks have been hell.  Like I posted last weekend, I have been feeling personally lost. Not sure how exactly to understand and interpret the news we got. Not sure how to approach the subject with people. And, a personal mourning of sorts - wondering what next for me. How will this impact things? And not being happy that it will impact things.

I often shake my head and roll my eyes at the change averse. The people who see the change coming and sort of cover their ears with their hands, close their eyes, and say "la-la-la" over and over again trying to pretend they can't see it or hearing it coming. Trying hard to fight against that last week was...well, hard. Trying to face it dead-on while not letting it be an anchor around my neck was very hard.

I hate waiting. I hate surprises. I hate waiting.

And during it all, Garbanzo has proven, once again, why I married him.  Letting me obsess. Letting me have time to relax - not deal with things.  Just being exactly what I need right now.

And the last several days, he has really started trying to remind us both what normal was -- what normal is. It was yet another thing I needed - we needed.  Normal.

It's funny how things in life will pop up and seem like these huge elephants that park themselves right into the middle of the living room making them the center of all thoughts and conversations. And how one dedicates a significant amount of time trying to figure out how to deal with it. How to address it being there.  But when you step back, you realize they are simply dragon flies. Big flying things that zoom in, out of nowhere, grab your attention, but in the end, are larger than the usual things buzzing around, but nothing to really spend a lot of thought on long term.  Because even though it will be hanging around, it isn't an elephant.

And Garbanzo, he's really good at reminding me of that.
(And reminding me to eat and sleep - two things I don't do when stressed.)
It's why I love the guy.

Day 208 - Neighborhood Walk

Day 207 - My Night in Pictures

These are totally random images of my night. Monday's are VW Bus cult night where we meet up with the other followers for drinking and food. The kids and I usually do our thing, and the VW guys do theirs. Tonight a family from the school was there - with two girls DJ and Indigo's age. For a moment, I wished I had brought my laptop. But then, I got sucked into two different conversations. It was a good night.  The highlight was when someone asked if I had ever heard of a blog.  "Yeah, I have heard something about them" was my response.  In my head, I'm responding with "yeah, I have one with over 1000+ posts and great followers." While he did share with me his desire for nudity in the country, I didn't think he'd quite like the content. And if he did, he's a nice guy - but totally NOT my type. 


The train rushing by us at a light.


I liked these clouds. Looks like a woman with outstretched arms and long hair.


My self portrait.


There were daisies, so of course, I took pics of them.


These hooks at the pub are for dog leashes. They encourage owners to bring their dogs on the patio.  Gotta love the forethought.


I liked the hops growing up the building and the string of light bulbs for lighting.

Overall, Monday was a pretty decent day. Got to spend time with the family - drink beer - good conversation. Work wasn't as bad as it could have been. Hell the executive I pissed off was actually talking with me today like he wasn't pissed off anymore. It was overall a good Monday.  I like this trend. I can only hope it continues.

Happy Birthday, TL!!

It's my friend TL's birthday - and knowing he will, as he usually does, lurk and read. I thought I would take the time to wish him happy birthday.

TL, my friend, for your birthday, I wish for you happiness in all aspects of your life. No wrapping your mind around anything. No "don't ask, don't tell". No games. No poor communication. No worrying about any drama if people say or do the wrong thing. Just happiness. The kind that results from you being you - and having people around you who love that about you - and overlook the minor faults because they see the good person that you truly are.  That is my wish for you, my friend.

And, because it is your birthday, I thought this would be appropriate, especially if it will go through your mind at 3am and keep you awake!

Happy birthday, my sexy friend!
love,
Emmy

Days 205-206 - Friends plus My Weekend

This weekend has been about friends. Friday night and Sunday night were both spent with my friend from college and her family. Saturday night, we took dinner to SG and his wife.  The top picture was the last of the sunset from their house.  It was a lot of fun just hanging out and relaxing. The kids swam, and the adults enjoyed the cool breeze in the shade and just relaxed. SG is recovering nicely from an injury - and is doing fantastic. He is still recovering, so it was funny seeing him a bit surlier than normal. He has been through a lot. He is entitled.

And Friday and Saturday, we spent with my friend from college and her family.  This friend is the closest thing I'll ever have to a sister. There are those friends in your life where you just feel like you know them forever....and she is one of them for me. And our kids all got along great. Nothing like getting love from a 3yr old little girl with her sweet little girl voice. If you've had a daughter, you totally know that high pitched sweet little voice. Melts your heart every time.  My friend always has referred to me as Ms Emmy. Which is funny because I always refer to her the same way.  Her daughter grabs my hand while we are walking to get ice cream, and says "Ms Emmy, will you get me the purple ice cream kind with gummy bears".  Kid, you can have anything you want.  Want a pony, too?  She even hand our surly black lab wrapped around her finger.  He hates kids (ironic given he has grown up with kids) yet he followed this little one around the house letting her stroke his ears.  She's definitely her mom's child.

It was a busy weekend - but a good one.  Normal. We like normal. Things haven't been normal enough lately. And we are feeling what normal is like - remembering what normal is like.  I'm still waiting on one bit of news which is going in the back of my head. I hate waiting. I'm trying to focus on normal. Not let my mind go places it should not.  But as this weekend reminded me - it'll all be okay. Normal will return - and it will return if I let it return.  Because, even with whatever news I get - life is good. I wouldn't change a thing.

Day 204 - Fallen Crown

I guess next time I walk by it, I'll have to see if there is a nameplate installed. This is one of the pieces of art installed next to the Rose Garden - where the Portland Blazers basketball team plays. If memory serves, it is called Fallen Crown. You can see the car in the background - this crown is huge. That's the neat thing about Portland; there is art installed everywhere you walk. Downtown is full of it. And major construction usually results in some being added as well.  Art is extremely respected in the city. It's one of the things I love about it.

My friend from college is in town this weekend, so it's going to be a nice distraction from everything else that has been going on. I think I scare her husband which is good for him. She doesn't scare him enough in my opinion. Nice guy, but travels a ton - isn't very involved with the kids - and is your stereotypical 1950s guy - he comes home expecting a clean house, neat kids, food on the table, and for his after dinner time to read the paper instead of telling his pregnant wife to sit down as he loads the dishwasher and chases the three kids.  Yes, I have an opinion about this one.  The more traditional husbands tend to drive me a bit batty given I am far from traditional in my thinking when it comes to relationships. (I'm sure that shocks you all - lol!)

But it is so good to see her. It has been WAY too long!

An Award and Other Stuff

The lovely and talented Veronica over at Another Suburban Mom gave me an award earlier this week. In accepting it, I accepted the responsibility to share 10 things about myself.

Since I have been doing this often lately, maybe I'll take a slightly different tact. An author I recently saw speak described the process she used to get to know her characters in her book; she would decide what is in their purse, or on their nightstand, or in their medicine cabinet, or on their coffee table as those were great indicators of how they are as a person.  So, I will share with you the 10 items on the bookshelf next to my side of the bed. (I have a bookshelf, not a nightstand)

1. Lube - a huge bottle of it too. You never know when you will need it. And it is always good to have it handy.

2. Books and my Kindle - I am a huge reader. Books include everything from non-fiction about running or history to romance novels (TV in a book as I call them) to erotica. There are huge stacks to be read. I often buy books, start to read them, find them uninteresting at the time, then pick them up a year later just to find they are the most interesting thing ever. I guess the first time I was simply not ready to read them.

3. Two Brushes and numerous ponytail holders - I definitely need to get my hair out of my face at times, thus the stack on the shelves. Plus, I have to hide brushes from my daughters. If I leave them where they can find them, they disappear.  Same goes with the ponytail holders sadly. I just had to buy 60 more because I was down to one - and it was starting to break. I know, this is only going to get worse as they get older.

4. An alarm clock that is 15 minutes fast and rarely gets used. I learned a long time ago to set my clock fast so I would not talk myself out of getting up when it went off and being late. These days since Garbanzo gets up earlier than I do to run, bike or swim, we usually set the alarms on our phone so I don't have to get up at the insane hours he gets up (since the alarm is on my side of the bed).

5. A robot bug.

Doesn't everyone have a robot bug? I like neat little toys. Usually they end up at work. This one is on my shelf next to my bed. Mine is blue.  They respond to sound and keep from bumping into things. How cool is that?! I'm a geek. A geek willing to spend $10 on a robotic bug.  I claimed it was science - which it is.....but the excuse would have worked best if I had bought it for my kids and not myself. I really can't help it.

6. Camera equipment - lenses and my camera bag are on the shelf. Plus, you never know when you might be inspired to take a picture while in bed.

7. Socks - The dog (yellow lab) has this sixth sense when choosing which socks to steal out of the laundry. He seems to know my socks are the more expensive in the house. (Good running socks are essential with long miles.) So, when I take them off, I usually put them on a shelf (they don't smell), so I don't lose them to the dog. I made the mistake of tossing them in the laundry once right after I bought a pair of nice $15 smart wool running socks. I finally found where he hid the second one four months later half buried in the backyard. In January.

8. A stack of race numbers - Garbanzo and I are keeping them as a reminder of how many runs we've both trained for and done. I have the stack on the shelf. It's getting quite impressive.

9. My laptop - it usually sits next to the bed where I charge it. Since my laptop has questionable content on it, I keep it out of sight so it is out of mind. My family when they visit will ask to use it if they see it. It is password protected, but still freaks me out a bit to loan it. Plus, then I can browse in bed whenever I feel like it - or watch Netflix on it from bed.

10. A container of pens. I have a pen fetish. I have eight million different sharpies. And I hide the ones I love - pens that is - because my kids steal them and I lose them forever. I am very particular about the kind of pens I use. 

I am going to tag a few of my readers which is something I don't normally do, but what the hell - it's Friday, I haven't really written in a while, so I'll play by some of the rules at least.  I'm going to tag:

• Beryl who has been a great person to chat with recently. We've decided we are way too alike in certain respects. I have appreciated her kind words. And one day, she got me to tap into my snark when I needed to. Thank for you for that, by the way.
• Minority Report who has a yellow lab who is way too similar to mine - including skin allergies. 
  
• Maggie who I would love to hang out with sometime. 
• Ms Scarlett who I would also love to hang out with - and who ran her first half marathon a month or so ago. Oh, and she posts some pretty sexy stuff too.
  

Lastly, I leave you with some awesomeness. I hate Fred Phelps and his Westboro Baptist Church who has decided to protest gays by protesting funerals of fallen soldiers and schools and pretty much anywhere.  He decided this week to protest the San Diego Comic-Con - a huge comic book convention.  (Wait, I was corrected - the LARGEST COMIC BOOK CONVENTION IN THE WORLD - per Garbanzo who read this over my shoulder and was outraged that I did not give it the grandeur it deserved.) I doubt he expected the response he got. You gotta love comic geeks.....or at least I do. Not only am I married to one but have at least one good friend who has a thing for Wonder Woman and She-hulk, I believe.

Anyway, check out the article - and watch the video. And fall in love with how the geeks handled it.  I personally love Bender from Futurama holding a sign saying "Kill The Humans".  SO I leave you with this:

Flight Of The Conchords - The Humans Are Dead
Happy Friday!

Day 203 - A View of the Festival

I sat on the off ramp from the freeway to one of the bridges across the river and noticed something very important going on this weekend: The Oregon Brewers Fest.....might have to go there this weekend.  I do live in a beautiful city, if I may say so myself.

HNT -Relaxation

 
Over the weekend, I spent a lot of time trying to relax - by laying in the hammock in the sun (slathered in lots of sunscreen since I fry if allowed in the sun for any length of . Trying to just mellow out. Trying to regroup my thinking.  Trying to calm my mind.  Trying to recall this quotation:

Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer.
~William S. Burroughs

It isn't my thing though - to wait quietly for an answer.....but I'm trying.....boy, am I trying.....

See who else is playing by visiting Os.
Or for some anonymous fun, visit OHNT.

Day 202 - Magnolia

I noticed our magnolia tree has bud. This bud is probably 6 inches tall to give some perspective. It almost looks like one of those candelabra light bulbs - not a flower.

Day 201 - Shining

I love those lyrics...and I thought they fit perfectly with the sunflower of my neighbor with the sun shining through them - and the petals flapping in the breeze.

Advice from a Friend

"Life is what you make of it, what you do with it, and how you react to situations that come up! Every step is a step in the journey of life, so walk forward each day - not backwards -  no matter what!!"

When my friend posted this on her Facebook status last night, I knew she was speaking to me.
Later in email, she admitted it was for me. She knows I've been having a bad week - knows all the sordid details. She has so much of her own shit going on right now.  Her husband sustained burns (2nd and 3rd degree) on almost 30% of his body a week ago.  Plus a few other crappy things that have happened over the past week too. Yet, she's worried about me too. Hell, her husband has even called me a few times checking in.

Her words were exactly what I needed to hear right now.
Now if they'll sink in a bit more, we'll be good.

Day 200 - A Glimpse into my Monday

This is what happens when someone goes on vacation. Funniest part was the fact they grabbed the more risque papers in the area. So he had "come visit our hot women" plastered on his stuff. I'm glad HR is three floors above us. The pictures of Alf making out with his gay lover was funny though.


Planters at our local brew pub.


What' I'm trying to do and failing miserably at doing. The beer is helping which I'm not sure is a good thing.

Had to Share....

The site: Crap at My Parents House....people send in pictures of the crap they discover at their parents house....sights such as:

Warning: don't look through it at work or else your cubicle neighbors may wonder why you are laughing your ass off while at your desk.

Then they may alert the powers that be that their "contractor" is getting paid to read the Internet....then blog about it.....

....better go....wanted to share....

Day 199 - Family Outing

It's supposed to be like some sort of Chinese lantern or something. Looked like a face to me.


Big pig at the local farm we visit for produce...




Same breed of chicken as one of ours...except a rooster. Had to convince DJ that she couldn't take him home.


Why I like visiting this farm...mmm...beer....


The girls named this pig Wilbur