"The way is not in the sky. The way is in the heart."
~ Buddha
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
HNT - Shirt
There is just something about a woman in a man's shirt - dress shirt or t-shirt. For the woman too!
Check out who else is playing this week by visiting Os.
Or who may be participating in some OHNT fun.
POD - Danger!
The Wisdom to Know the Difference
I started my morning off by witnessing a public spat between two managers in the same group. Both are opinionated women with similar experience. Both like to be heard. And both are smart people.
One would speculate that these similarities are the cause of the spat. Too people who are too similar can often ignite when put in the same room - especially if those two people are women. Might not like the generalization, but in my experience, it happens more than it doesn't.
Why did the spat occur? Over a very important concept - knowing what you know, knowing what you don't know, and knowing the difference between fact and opinion.
One woman believes her opinion and fact are one in the same. If you asked her about a place for lunch, she will tell you why a restaurant is bad and should never be visited even if her only experience is once during lunch when they ran out of something she wanted. That single experience has forever colored her opinion of the situation - and is now a fact about that restaurant.
The other woman clearly separates her opinion from fact. If you ask her about yoga (something she has studied seriously for 10 years), she will share the facts about what she has studied. But, she's going to be clear her opinion about the brand of yoga mat to use is purely her open preference.
This distinct difference in approach came forth in the meeting - and got ugly when the woman who knows opinion from fact pointed out that the other woman was expressing her own opinion but the both approaches were right. This set the other off to the point where she wouldn't let anyone else finish sentences, and we got to hear her recite her resume as reasons her opinion is the only opinion because she has all of the facts thereby knowing it all.
In the end, they ended it themselves. The woman knowing opinion from fact pointed out that talking over someone is not the way to argue, so she was done discussing it with her.
It's interesting because I've been experiencing this phenomenon in real life as well as blog world a lot recently. This confusing of fact with opinion or even opinion with knowledge. I am just as opinionated as the next person, but I also know what is my opinion based on my experience and how results may vary by individuals involved. I also know how experience can lead to knowledge, but you have to be very careful because, as I already said, experience varies by person sometimes.
Like in this meeting - just like in real life - if one does not have the wisdom to know the difference between these things, one runs the risks of stupid little spats that end with no one learning anything except that the person is negative and petty and, in certain respects, disrespectful. And, as in this situation, I doubt that this was the message she wanted people to walk away with.
One would speculate that these similarities are the cause of the spat. Too people who are too similar can often ignite when put in the same room - especially if those two people are women. Might not like the generalization, but in my experience, it happens more than it doesn't.
Why did the spat occur? Over a very important concept - knowing what you know, knowing what you don't know, and knowing the difference between fact and opinion.
One woman believes her opinion and fact are one in the same. If you asked her about a place for lunch, she will tell you why a restaurant is bad and should never be visited even if her only experience is once during lunch when they ran out of something she wanted. That single experience has forever colored her opinion of the situation - and is now a fact about that restaurant.
The other woman clearly separates her opinion from fact. If you ask her about yoga (something she has studied seriously for 10 years), she will share the facts about what she has studied. But, she's going to be clear her opinion about the brand of yoga mat to use is purely her open preference.
This distinct difference in approach came forth in the meeting - and got ugly when the woman who knows opinion from fact pointed out that the other woman was expressing her own opinion but the both approaches were right. This set the other off to the point where she wouldn't let anyone else finish sentences, and we got to hear her recite her resume as reasons her opinion is the only opinion because she has all of the facts thereby knowing it all.
In the end, they ended it themselves. The woman knowing opinion from fact pointed out that talking over someone is not the way to argue, so she was done discussing it with her.
It's interesting because I've been experiencing this phenomenon in real life as well as blog world a lot recently. This confusing of fact with opinion or even opinion with knowledge. I am just as opinionated as the next person, but I also know what is my opinion based on my experience and how results may vary by individuals involved. I also know how experience can lead to knowledge, but you have to be very careful because, as I already said, experience varies by person sometimes.
Like in this meeting - just like in real life - if one does not have the wisdom to know the difference between these things, one runs the risks of stupid little spats that end with no one learning anything except that the person is negative and petty and, in certain respects, disrespectful. And, as in this situation, I doubt that this was the message she wanted people to walk away with.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
POD - Garden Spider
"Will you walk into my parlor?" said the Spider to the Fly,
~The Spider and The Fly
by Mary Howitt
These webs are EVERYWHERE right now. The kids call them tiger spiders because of their markings, but I found out they are simply called garden spiders. Why have they popped up? The females have reached full maturity and are spinning webs to attract the male spiders. Why do I suddenly the song Love Shack running through my head?
Monday, September 27, 2010
POD - Indian Summer
TL said it best on his Facebook status today "I'm not sure why they call it "Indian Summer"... but I'm sure glad it's here!"
After a week of weather that felt like we were starting to head into winter, we had 85 degree summer weather - weather we didn't see most of the summer around here. While most of you complained about the heat and humidity, we were out here wishing we had some as we were lucky if we saw 75 most days. After too much rain in the spring, having this cooler-than-normal summer for some of us was adding insult to injury. So we got summer today - and will have it this week. Hell, we even had humidity too. I really don't care. I like being able to set the fall/winter clothes I had dug out last week aside.
Besides going home early from work because I felt like crap (cold plus re-emerging allergies has given me the feeling that I am fighting a sinus infection), so beside going home early from work, I got to go up and get the girls from school as G had a teacher's meeting in downtown.
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| a couple of condos in the pearl district |
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| random parking garage - liked how it was lit up. |
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| Hawthorn Bridge |
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| loved this modified protected sign - beware of Chuck Norris. |
Oh, and Indian Summer was a phrase that first showed up two centuries ago in literature. They speculate it was called such because it marked the time when the Native Americans harvested the corn - after the leaves turned but before the first snow. Because I know everyone was curious. :)
Bittersweet
There are times whenever I am feeling down about things in my life, that I look at some friends and admire them for what they are going through. This weekend, as a friend of ours updated his Facebook status, I was reminded of that once more.
Our friend is being deployed on Thursday. Technically, he was already deployed, but his higher ups pulled some strings to keep him in the state for an extra couple weeks. Why?
His first child was born Friday.
A beautiful little girl who already has daddy wrapped around her little finger, the way little girls tend to do.
And between now and then, he gets to be daddy. He gets to hold her while she cries. He gets to change diapers. He gets to help out his wife - a woman he loves very much. Then, on Thursday morning, he kisses them all goodbye for a year. He should return a week before her first birthday.
Anyone who has ever served or known someone who has knows how there are times during your enlistment where you may as well just finish out the career until retirement. My dad played that game every year until we all told him he was in it until retirement. We knew it. He was too close to not finish it out.
This guy decided about 3 months into his wife's pregnancy that he was done. His "lifer" status in the military was no more. While for others he was past the point of no return, he didn't care. He was doing his tour, coming home, and getting the hell out. This will be his third tour. And this time, the stakes are too high for him personally. The sacrifice is much greater than ever before. A first time dad - an only time dad given the age of he and his wife - and he is missing out on seeing that magical time when baby becomes toddler. He is going to miss all of the firsts. And regardless of what retirement he will be walking away from, he doesn't care. It isn't worth missing more of his daughter's life than he already is going to miss.
In the meantime, they have web cams setup on computers. They have networks figured out on how to keep in touch. But it will never be the same as being there - being able to hold her - being able to see her roll over the first time or crawl or hear her first word. All we can do is hope and pray he comes back to her safely - so that she gets to know her daddy - and he gets to know her too.
And until then, he will be enjoying ever second of his time with her.
A bittersweet moment - but one that I know he will be holding close to his heart while he is away.
Our friend is being deployed on Thursday. Technically, he was already deployed, but his higher ups pulled some strings to keep him in the state for an extra couple weeks. Why?
His first child was born Friday.
A beautiful little girl who already has daddy wrapped around her little finger, the way little girls tend to do.
And between now and then, he gets to be daddy. He gets to hold her while she cries. He gets to change diapers. He gets to help out his wife - a woman he loves very much. Then, on Thursday morning, he kisses them all goodbye for a year. He should return a week before her first birthday.
Anyone who has ever served or known someone who has knows how there are times during your enlistment where you may as well just finish out the career until retirement. My dad played that game every year until we all told him he was in it until retirement. We knew it. He was too close to not finish it out.
This guy decided about 3 months into his wife's pregnancy that he was done. His "lifer" status in the military was no more. While for others he was past the point of no return, he didn't care. He was doing his tour, coming home, and getting the hell out. This will be his third tour. And this time, the stakes are too high for him personally. The sacrifice is much greater than ever before. A first time dad - an only time dad given the age of he and his wife - and he is missing out on seeing that magical time when baby becomes toddler. He is going to miss all of the firsts. And regardless of what retirement he will be walking away from, he doesn't care. It isn't worth missing more of his daughter's life than he already is going to miss.
In the meantime, they have web cams setup on computers. They have networks figured out on how to keep in touch. But it will never be the same as being there - being able to hold her - being able to see her roll over the first time or crawl or hear her first word. All we can do is hope and pray he comes back to her safely - so that she gets to know her daddy - and he gets to know her too.
And until then, he will be enjoying ever second of his time with her.
A bittersweet moment - but one that I know he will be holding close to his heart while he is away.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
POD - Heads
“Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.”
~Bill Connolley
G has been trying to find new heads for his VW for weeks. He had one set and were given two more. All were cracked and beyond repair. This set should be the set that allows him to rebuild his engine. This is the promise. I guess we'll see.
Finding Her Competitive Spirit
DJ has played sports for years. She started playing soccer at 5 and has continues to play each fall. She loves sparring in taekwondo. She loves pushing herself to learn more. And while that has all been fantastic, the one thing she has always lacked is her desire to compete.
Let me rephrase that because it is not quite accurate. While she loves the idea of competing, her attitude is too kind. She wants to win, but she lacks the drive to win. She usually throws her head up in frustration instead of figuring out how to turn it around.
Until this season.
I'm not quite sure what finally clicked for her, but she mentally wants to win now. She isn't a jerk about it - but instead of taking her frustration and internalizing it into frustration or annoyance, she has finally figured out how to leverage it to her advantage. And for this, I am happy.
She came home from soccer practice one day angry. When I asked her what her issue was, she explained how the U11 girls scrimmaged against the U11 boys. They are coached by the same coach - an amazing woman who I swear coaches 12 teams at the same time. She had a game conflict, so a parent and former coach stepped in to cover for her. She decided the girls especially needed some time to play as a team. They actually elevated the U10 girls to play with the U11 girls because neither had a team of the right size. As a result, the new team dynamic has presented some challenges.
It's all good - until the boys started getting the better of the girls.
And DJ did not like that.
So, she started playing harder. She started challenging the boys for the ball as she played midfield. And while she was frustrated by the overall situations, she started finding that her smarter play resulted in her getting the ball away from them. She was kicking ass without even realizing it.
Her coach today told me it was her persistence that resulted in her getting moved from sweeper to midfield. It is always why they aren't keen on having her in as goalie if they don't have to, but they move her into goal when they are struggling. Why?
Because DJ has also leveraged this to be a leader on the field.
Her first game as sweeper, she was putting the defense into position - and keeping their heads in the game. She took her job as last line of defense very seriously. And she was going to keep that ball out of there.
Today as midfielder, she was everywhere. While the other girls were slowing down, she was driving with the ball. And when she got put into goalie, she worked her ass off. When the girls were screwing around, she tried to get the refocused. She isn't a jerk about it because that isn't her. She just wants to walk off the field and know she gave it all she had. Her coaches all notice her change of attitude - and love it.
Sports gave me a lot of confidence as a kid. Communication - finding that drive to keep going when you wan to quit - playing as part of a team - all great skills for life. And for girls, being in a situation where getting muddy, getting bruises, and sweat are all celebrated is a great counter balance to a society where girls are expected to be pretty. Giving them the outlet to be physical and vocal in support is also important for some girls in particular. While they can get all of these things elsewhere, I think it is most easily gained via athletics.
I like seeing these things blossom with DJ. For the first time in a long time, I see a girl driven to succeed and not just play. And I like that drive. Makes me smile.
I can't wait to see what this does for her taekwondo sparring. I know she has to do a few tourneys this year, so can't wait if this starts showing up there.
Let me rephrase that because it is not quite accurate. While she loves the idea of competing, her attitude is too kind. She wants to win, but she lacks the drive to win. She usually throws her head up in frustration instead of figuring out how to turn it around.
Until this season.
I'm not quite sure what finally clicked for her, but she mentally wants to win now. She isn't a jerk about it - but instead of taking her frustration and internalizing it into frustration or annoyance, she has finally figured out how to leverage it to her advantage. And for this, I am happy.
She came home from soccer practice one day angry. When I asked her what her issue was, she explained how the U11 girls scrimmaged against the U11 boys. They are coached by the same coach - an amazing woman who I swear coaches 12 teams at the same time. She had a game conflict, so a parent and former coach stepped in to cover for her. She decided the girls especially needed some time to play as a team. They actually elevated the U10 girls to play with the U11 girls because neither had a team of the right size. As a result, the new team dynamic has presented some challenges.
It's all good - until the boys started getting the better of the girls.
And DJ did not like that.
So, she started playing harder. She started challenging the boys for the ball as she played midfield. And while she was frustrated by the overall situations, she started finding that her smarter play resulted in her getting the ball away from them. She was kicking ass without even realizing it.
Her coach today told me it was her persistence that resulted in her getting moved from sweeper to midfield. It is always why they aren't keen on having her in as goalie if they don't have to, but they move her into goal when they are struggling. Why?
Because DJ has also leveraged this to be a leader on the field.
Her first game as sweeper, she was putting the defense into position - and keeping their heads in the game. She took her job as last line of defense very seriously. And she was going to keep that ball out of there.
Today as midfielder, she was everywhere. While the other girls were slowing down, she was driving with the ball. And when she got put into goalie, she worked her ass off. When the girls were screwing around, she tried to get the refocused. She isn't a jerk about it because that isn't her. She just wants to walk off the field and know she gave it all she had. Her coaches all notice her change of attitude - and love it.
Sports gave me a lot of confidence as a kid. Communication - finding that drive to keep going when you wan to quit - playing as part of a team - all great skills for life. And for girls, being in a situation where getting muddy, getting bruises, and sweat are all celebrated is a great counter balance to a society where girls are expected to be pretty. Giving them the outlet to be physical and vocal in support is also important for some girls in particular. While they can get all of these things elsewhere, I think it is most easily gained via athletics.
I like seeing these things blossom with DJ. For the first time in a long time, I see a girl driven to succeed and not just play. And I like that drive. Makes me smile.
I can't wait to see what this does for her taekwondo sparring. I know she has to do a few tourneys this year, so can't wait if this starts showing up there.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
POD - Penny
Weekly Wrap-Up
The other day, I felt like this:
I felt bad because it came tumbling down on me - all after a message from a friend. A friend who was being flirty and dirty and himself. I felt bad posting what I did yesterday because I knew he would feel bad. But, there are times when I realize that I can't keep pretending. So, I let it out. It needed to be said out loud. I needed to say it out loud.
While it may seem odd that I am pretending, it is my way. I don't want to be that black cloud that blocks the sun for people I care about. I don't want to be that person. So I bury it. But the problem is the fact that it's like a beach ball you are trying to keep below the surface of the water. If it slips your grasp, it comes shooting to the surface. You can't control how fast or where exactly it will pop out. I find that is what happens sometimes.
Thank you. Thank you for understanding when it comes flying out.
And TL - thanks for being there for me. I know I told you this yesterday, but I do appreciate it, my sexy friend.
Work is best described by this image. The executive has decided a different software package will fix the issue. I am pretty amused by this. Why? Because I knew this was going to happen. We were actually making progress, so the executive found a minor thing that resulted in him wanting to change direction. I'm not sure why to be honest. Software is all about trade offs. And he keeps changing the rules and the reasons. It's like he is plotting a greater take over, yet he isn't making a land grab or something.
Meanwhile, I am trying to coach my manager through it. He freaks out at the cost, and I have to point out that the cost is not really that great. So while he struggles, I'm propping him up - and also pointing out that they are giving the executive too much power. HIs changes affect a broader set of executives. It's time we bring them in to help make this discussion. We'll see how this continues. I really, truly, don't care anymore. I'll get the work done - they just need to make a fucking decision.
I exchanged some messages with this week with a former playmate - the one I need to forgive so she can move on. It was all good. I realize how much I miss her humor. After a back and forth in text, she send me one that said "I've missed you". I have to admit that I have missed the friendship as well - so I told her. It's funny how things are evolving. I like seeing how she has evolved. I like seeing how she is a more whole person. She has something to drop off this weekend. She mentioned how she wants us to meet her husband - a new development - but a good sign. I guess we'll see how it goes.
I'm hoping this weekend will give me some time to get rid of this damn cold I have. It was kicking my ass yesterday. I swear I could have slept all day. Hopefully I'll get some sleep.
Happy Weekend!
While it may seem odd that I am pretending, it is my way. I don't want to be that black cloud that blocks the sun for people I care about. I don't want to be that person. So I bury it. But the problem is the fact that it's like a beach ball you are trying to keep below the surface of the water. If it slips your grasp, it comes shooting to the surface. You can't control how fast or where exactly it will pop out. I find that is what happens sometimes.
Thank you. Thank you for understanding when it comes flying out.
And TL - thanks for being there for me. I know I told you this yesterday, but I do appreciate it, my sexy friend.
Meanwhile, I am trying to coach my manager through it. He freaks out at the cost, and I have to point out that the cost is not really that great. So while he struggles, I'm propping him up - and also pointing out that they are giving the executive too much power. HIs changes affect a broader set of executives. It's time we bring them in to help make this discussion. We'll see how this continues. I really, truly, don't care anymore. I'll get the work done - they just need to make a fucking decision.
I exchanged some messages with this week with a former playmate - the one I need to forgive so she can move on. It was all good. I realize how much I miss her humor. After a back and forth in text, she send me one that said "I've missed you". I have to admit that I have missed the friendship as well - so I told her. It's funny how things are evolving. I like seeing how she has evolved. I like seeing how she is a more whole person. She has something to drop off this weekend. She mentioned how she wants us to meet her husband - a new development - but a good sign. I guess we'll see how it goes.
I'm hoping this weekend will give me some time to get rid of this damn cold I have. It was kicking my ass yesterday. I swear I could have slept all day. Hopefully I'll get some sleep.
Happy Weekend!
Friday, September 24, 2010
Loss
"It's his loss!!"
A friend and I were going back and forth about sex the other day - and this was his response when I had mentioned that my husband and I hadn't done something in a while....
"It's his loss."
Sadly, it is also my loss.
It's one of those statement that reminds me of how sex has changed between my husband and me. How sex between us are still in flux as we try to find the new normal.
How trying to find the new normal has not been as easy as we had hoped. How there still feels like too much, sometimes, we are trying to figure out - and we both wonder when it will stop feeling like it feels.
And unlike before, when I could find something I craved from a playmate - something I crave that my husband and I don't do together in bed, I don't really have that option right now.
And I'm not sure if and when I will have that option again.
These are the times when the whole herpes things sucks. The contrast between how sex was versus how sex is right now makes me truly sad. The change, that has been thrust upon us, rears its head at unexpected times. And while he knows a bit more of what his new normal is, I feel, at times, mine is limbo. Caught between his new normal and the old normal, trying to find what my new normal is.
I would never blame G as there is nothing to blame. It simply is what it is. Knowing what we know, I'm not sure what we would have done differently as different would have had different results, results we would not trade. Friends I'd rather not trade away.
But now, things like that - that are his loss - now translates directly into my loss.
And that takes some getting used to....
....that feeling of loss.....
Thursday, September 23, 2010
POD - Pippie
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
HNT - Kick Ass
I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.
~Maya AngelouI saw this quote the other day, and it stood out in my mind. I figured it's my ass. Why not use the quote. It IS a good quote. :)
Check out Os to see who else is playing - and visit them.
Or OHNT to see who may be making an appearance there.
POD - Water Tower
Above the cloud with its shadow is the star with its light. Above all things reverence thyself.
~Pythagoras
Ramblings...
Let's see....
where to start.....
Yesterday's post was yanked after an email was sent to me from a news agency looking to get connected with my husband. I had a minor panic attack. For many reasons. Including some I cannot explain here. So, I took it down. I couldn't let this get traced to him and get him in trouble - even if I stand by my rant.
That being said, never underestimate the stupidity of an middle school girl. Let's just say she spent the day bragging about what she did. Then had it backfire. The kids knew exactly where to go and who to blame when they were angry.
I get to spend part of my day possibly working myself out of a job. One could hope that happens anyway. I doubt it will. They like me too much. The executive found, to quote, "the most simpliest software out there". Any of my IT readers are now laughing their asses off and/or rolling their eyes. And anyone with a high school education is thinking "most simpliest"? Really? He said it 13 times during my one hour meeting with him yesterday. Yes, I kept track. It was either that or smirk or publicly correct him. But if I corrected that, then I would have to correct all of the spelling mistakes on his whiteboard. He drew us a matrix beforehand. Given how carefully he did it, one would hope he would have noticed he spelled many words wrong - like peice or integated or expets. Look, my spelling isn't the best, but I can look at a word and see it is wrong. And if I prepped for the meeting, I would have double checked it. And when I get to hear how great he is - how smart he is - how he has a pedigree from such a great business school - it just makes it hard for me to take seriously. But with all of the work I've been doing, I keep reminding myself - he won't let me work more than 40hrs a week - so it means, I get a short Friday.
My brothers are not talking to me right now. Why? I'm 2-0 in our fantasy football league. While my brothers are trading like crazy to get a win, I'm not doing much. I want another win this weekend though because it'll secure my lead - plus it'll drive them all crazy - my real motivation. I should point out that everyone is 1-1 except for me. Have I mentioned I like football?
I have to thank my husband and kids for bringing home a cold - and giving it to me. Damn germ bags. I hate colds. I can't take any medicines for it because I have weird reactions to medicines. I hate this time of year.
I saw this the other day and decided I agree...
Happy Hump Day!
where to start.....
Yesterday's post was yanked after an email was sent to me from a news agency looking to get connected with my husband. I had a minor panic attack. For many reasons. Including some I cannot explain here. So, I took it down. I couldn't let this get traced to him and get him in trouble - even if I stand by my rant.
That being said, never underestimate the stupidity of an middle school girl. Let's just say she spent the day bragging about what she did. Then had it backfire. The kids knew exactly where to go and who to blame when they were angry.
I get to spend part of my day possibly working myself out of a job. One could hope that happens anyway. I doubt it will. They like me too much. The executive found, to quote, "the most simpliest software out there". Any of my IT readers are now laughing their asses off and/or rolling their eyes. And anyone with a high school education is thinking "most simpliest"? Really? He said it 13 times during my one hour meeting with him yesterday. Yes, I kept track. It was either that or smirk or publicly correct him. But if I corrected that, then I would have to correct all of the spelling mistakes on his whiteboard. He drew us a matrix beforehand. Given how carefully he did it, one would hope he would have noticed he spelled many words wrong - like peice or integated or expets. Look, my spelling isn't the best, but I can look at a word and see it is wrong. And if I prepped for the meeting, I would have double checked it. And when I get to hear how great he is - how smart he is - how he has a pedigree from such a great business school - it just makes it hard for me to take seriously. But with all of the work I've been doing, I keep reminding myself - he won't let me work more than 40hrs a week - so it means, I get a short Friday.
My brothers are not talking to me right now. Why? I'm 2-0 in our fantasy football league. While my brothers are trading like crazy to get a win, I'm not doing much. I want another win this weekend though because it'll secure my lead - plus it'll drive them all crazy - my real motivation. I should point out that everyone is 1-1 except for me. Have I mentioned I like football?
I have to thank my husband and kids for bringing home a cold - and giving it to me. Damn germ bags. I hate colds. I can't take any medicines for it because I have weird reactions to medicines. I hate this time of year.
I saw this the other day and decided I agree...
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
POD - Jesus and His Pet Dinosaur
Today's Blog Post
Has been pulled due to the post garnered some unwanted attention outside of the blogging community, so in the interest of privacy (for me and G and my family), I am pulling it.
Those of you who know me personally, feel free to contact me with questions.
Yes, I feel like this rat right now.....
Those of you who know me personally, feel free to contact me with questions.
Monday, September 20, 2010
POD - Glass and Light
The same artist used to make shiny surfaces too. Dark like this photo, but shiny like the surface on this keg light. His painting simply got into your head and stayed there after you looked at them. Or at least they did me. Diego RodrÃguez de Silva y Velázquez was the Spanish painter who was born and raised in Seville, Spain.
Ironically, I came to know this painter not through an art class - but through my Spanish teacher in high school who was in love with Spain. He spent most of my senior year of high school show us why he loved Spain, so he introduced us to this painter - among other things.
Children's Lit and Conversations with an Elder
On Saturday, we had dinner with G's family. Some family members were visiting from out of state, so we got together to see them before they left. In attendance was his grandpa's second wife Anabelle - a woman we do not see as often as we should.
After G's grandma died in 1998, G and I moved in with him at his house. Everyone was trying to persuade him to sell everything and move into a retirement community. I was quite annoyed at their tactics. Here was a man who lost his wife of 51 years after a horrible 3 year battle with cancer, and they are trying to get him to make this snap decision about what he's going to do with his life now. G and I were looking to move, so we went to visit him and asked if he would like some roommates. After hearing our suggestion, he started telling us about what he really wanted to do - travel and see friends and family - spending the winter where it was warm, but come back when it was spring. He didn't want to deal with his house yet, so our suggestion was his way of doing what he wanted. And thumbing his nose at his family.
For 18 months, we lived with him as he traveled and started dating again. We heard his stories. We helped him pack her stuff. We enjoyed the time we had with him. It was a great arrangement. About the time we were getting ready to move into our current home, he met Anabelle, and he was amazingly happy - giddy - to have this loving woman in his life. They were married when DJ was about 2 months old.
Anabelle brought reality into this troubled family. She brought unconditional love. She brought the idea of unconditional family support to this family. We love her very much because it was exactly what his grandpa needed - and the family. We were happy he got this love from her during the last seven years of his life.
She was also at dinner. My MIL had commented that they were starting to watch the Harry Potter movies and were asking for the order of the books from DJ. DJ left the table when she looked at me and asked if we had read the books. We have - several times. She had read some of them herself.
"I liked them, but was curious - were you concerned by the amount of the occult in those books?"
Anabelle is a Seventh Day Adventist. She is quite devout which has brought into the family an interesting twist as G's family is filled with mostly atheists - including my MIL. You could see my MIL was unsure how to answer. And Anabelle was doing what I love about her - she was honestly asking a question - one you could tell she had herself been grappling to answer.
"I can see how you could be concerned, " I started, "but the books, at their heart are not about magic but about good versus evil. About how life is full of choices - just because you made one that took you down one path, does not mean you won't have another choice later that puts you back on the good one. The magic is secondary."
She liked that answer, but you could tell she wasn't totally sold by it.
So, I went further in explaining also that there is no religion around it. I think there is more religion on Star Wars with "The Force" being leveraged to lift things - guide missiles - etc. Yes, magic is used - but they are using it as a tool. In fact, when the Wesley twins in Order of the Phoenix begin to use it for everything, they are scolded.
It was at this time when my MIL started changing the subject. She couldn't participate because she stopped reading the books when they got long. Yes, my well educated, look at the length of my books, MIL said that some children's book is "too long". She did talk more about The Golden Compass where she was shocked at how the author took up the argument against church. G has often used The Golden Compass as the book more devout people should be upset about given it is pretty clear about its beliefs.
The debate about which books are good for kids and which aren't always fascinates me. I recently read an excerpt from Mark Twain's soon to be released autobiography where he talks about censorship particularly around Huck Finn. He would periodically walk into a library and ask to see the book. If he was told that the book was banned due to its content, he would inquire as to why. "It urges kids to be defiant" or it gives examples of immoral behavior was one of the two answers usually cited. He would ask if they had a copy of the Bible in the library. "Of course" was the answer. He would go grabbed it from the shelves and start looking up passages where there were examples of immoral behavior. "Do you let your children read this book?" They would also answer that they did. "Do you just exclude those parts in the Bible?" This, as you guessed, made them uncomfortable, so Twain would conclude with "just as you did when you were their age, yet here you are - of good moral standing despite it all."
I was happy that Anabelle was open minded enough to accept discussion. She wasn't in the space of "those are just horrible stories", and when she left, she really took away the fact that these books - like many fantasy books - is about good versus evil. That's it.
As we drove home, I commented to G how amazing of a woman she is. At almost 90 years old, she still drives (safely), lives at home, manages a huge vegetable garden, still reads anything that comes out, sews, and plays golf on a regular basis. I want to be her when I grow up. I can only hope we can all be like her.
I should also mention that she was also very sexual too before and after the marriage to G's grandpa.
But that, that is a different blog post.
After G's grandma died in 1998, G and I moved in with him at his house. Everyone was trying to persuade him to sell everything and move into a retirement community. I was quite annoyed at their tactics. Here was a man who lost his wife of 51 years after a horrible 3 year battle with cancer, and they are trying to get him to make this snap decision about what he's going to do with his life now. G and I were looking to move, so we went to visit him and asked if he would like some roommates. After hearing our suggestion, he started telling us about what he really wanted to do - travel and see friends and family - spending the winter where it was warm, but come back when it was spring. He didn't want to deal with his house yet, so our suggestion was his way of doing what he wanted. And thumbing his nose at his family.
For 18 months, we lived with him as he traveled and started dating again. We heard his stories. We helped him pack her stuff. We enjoyed the time we had with him. It was a great arrangement. About the time we were getting ready to move into our current home, he met Anabelle, and he was amazingly happy - giddy - to have this loving woman in his life. They were married when DJ was about 2 months old.
Anabelle brought reality into this troubled family. She brought unconditional love. She brought the idea of unconditional family support to this family. We love her very much because it was exactly what his grandpa needed - and the family. We were happy he got this love from her during the last seven years of his life.
She was also at dinner. My MIL had commented that they were starting to watch the Harry Potter movies and were asking for the order of the books from DJ. DJ left the table when she looked at me and asked if we had read the books. We have - several times. She had read some of them herself.
"I liked them, but was curious - were you concerned by the amount of the occult in those books?"
Anabelle is a Seventh Day Adventist. She is quite devout which has brought into the family an interesting twist as G's family is filled with mostly atheists - including my MIL. You could see my MIL was unsure how to answer. And Anabelle was doing what I love about her - she was honestly asking a question - one you could tell she had herself been grappling to answer.
"I can see how you could be concerned, " I started, "but the books, at their heart are not about magic but about good versus evil. About how life is full of choices - just because you made one that took you down one path, does not mean you won't have another choice later that puts you back on the good one. The magic is secondary."
She liked that answer, but you could tell she wasn't totally sold by it.
So, I went further in explaining also that there is no religion around it. I think there is more religion on Star Wars with "The Force" being leveraged to lift things - guide missiles - etc. Yes, magic is used - but they are using it as a tool. In fact, when the Wesley twins in Order of the Phoenix begin to use it for everything, they are scolded.
It was at this time when my MIL started changing the subject. She couldn't participate because she stopped reading the books when they got long. Yes, my well educated, look at the length of my books, MIL said that some children's book is "too long". She did talk more about The Golden Compass where she was shocked at how the author took up the argument against church. G has often used The Golden Compass as the book more devout people should be upset about given it is pretty clear about its beliefs.
The debate about which books are good for kids and which aren't always fascinates me. I recently read an excerpt from Mark Twain's soon to be released autobiography where he talks about censorship particularly around Huck Finn. He would periodically walk into a library and ask to see the book. If he was told that the book was banned due to its content, he would inquire as to why. "It urges kids to be defiant" or it gives examples of immoral behavior was one of the two answers usually cited. He would ask if they had a copy of the Bible in the library. "Of course" was the answer. He would go grabbed it from the shelves and start looking up passages where there were examples of immoral behavior. "Do you let your children read this book?" They would also answer that they did. "Do you just exclude those parts in the Bible?" This, as you guessed, made them uncomfortable, so Twain would conclude with "just as you did when you were their age, yet here you are - of good moral standing despite it all."
I was happy that Anabelle was open minded enough to accept discussion. She wasn't in the space of "those are just horrible stories", and when she left, she really took away the fact that these books - like many fantasy books - is about good versus evil. That's it.
As we drove home, I commented to G how amazing of a woman she is. At almost 90 years old, she still drives (safely), lives at home, manages a huge vegetable garden, still reads anything that comes out, sews, and plays golf on a regular basis. I want to be her when I grow up. I can only hope we can all be like her.
I should also mention that she was also very sexual too before and after the marriage to G's grandpa.
But that, that is a different blog post.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
POD - Cooking Day
Besides chili, I made bread. Little known Emmy fact - I LOVE making bread. I will knead it for an hour if I have to do it. The act of kneading - the rhythm, the feeling of the dough as the gluten is worked - is just a nice feeling. The two jobs I always had when I worked at the pizza place in high school and college was making the pizza dough and running the ovens. When I did the pizza dough for the day, I got up early, and spent two hours doing the pizza dough for the day. Just me and my walkman. Good stuff.
DJ made corn bread for the chili - and Indigo and I made kettle corn.
It was kind of the perfect day for it.
For it, and football on TV.....
....and later a viewing of the full version of The Two Towers. (DJ is hooked on it now.)
Not a bad Sunday.
Reasons I'm Thankful and/or Things that Make Me Happy Edition
1. G - who doesn't feel the need to kill me when I'm at my worst. Yesterday, I was not at my best, but I claim the fact I was woken up by Indigo at 2am, and she did not go to bed until 4am. Needless to say, I was not at my happiest at 7am when we had to get up to start soccer madness.
2. A beer-drinking IT friend - who this week really took what felt like one of the worst days, and helped me turn it into one of the best nights. I enjoy the variety of topics we can discuss. The nights out are always entertaining. And this week, it was needed after I had a crappy day.
3. TL - who openly appreciates our friendship. I mean, how many people in your life actually says "thank you for being a friend?" Not many in mine - TL is the only one. He seems to have the knack for saying it whenever I need the warm fuzzy. It's that weird sixth sense connection we seem to have sometimes. Thank you, my sexy friend, who I know is likely reading this post. :)
4. My wacky children - who never cease to amaze me and make me laugh. DJ is hilarious. Indigo is loving. And both together are a source of endless entertainment.
5. I can't believe I'm going to say this - but the chickens. I love a nice omelet on the weekends. These eggs are amazing. Saturday morning, I made G and me amazing egg sandwiches. Yumm-o!
6. My Annie O Skirt by Mountain Hardware - I bought it a week ago and am in love. It's comfortable (read feels like you are wearing a favorite pair of jeans) . It looks good. It can be dressy. It can be casual. It's a great skirt.
7. My Nikon D3 - I love that camera.
8. The band Phoenix....check them out if you don't know who they are. Listening to them and a live concert album of David Bowe put me in a better mood the other day.
9. My yellow lab Bob - who is the greatest dog ever. Patient, loving, and protective of his girls (he checks on them in the middle of the night.)
10. My blog readers. I have 99 followers and 281 subscribers on Feedburner. Thank you all for reading. It is quite humbling to know so many people follow my weird ramblings, photos, and lists. Thank you.
2. A beer-drinking IT friend - who this week really took what felt like one of the worst days, and helped me turn it into one of the best nights. I enjoy the variety of topics we can discuss. The nights out are always entertaining. And this week, it was needed after I had a crappy day.
3. TL - who openly appreciates our friendship. I mean, how many people in your life actually says "thank you for being a friend?" Not many in mine - TL is the only one. He seems to have the knack for saying it whenever I need the warm fuzzy. It's that weird sixth sense connection we seem to have sometimes. Thank you, my sexy friend, who I know is likely reading this post. :)
4. My wacky children - who never cease to amaze me and make me laugh. DJ is hilarious. Indigo is loving. And both together are a source of endless entertainment.
5. I can't believe I'm going to say this - but the chickens. I love a nice omelet on the weekends. These eggs are amazing. Saturday morning, I made G and me amazing egg sandwiches. Yumm-o!
6. My Annie O Skirt by Mountain Hardware - I bought it a week ago and am in love. It's comfortable (read feels like you are wearing a favorite pair of jeans) . It looks good. It can be dressy. It can be casual. It's a great skirt.
7. My Nikon D3 - I love that camera.
8. The band Phoenix....check them out if you don't know who they are. Listening to them and a live concert album of David Bowe put me in a better mood the other day.
9. My yellow lab Bob - who is the greatest dog ever. Patient, loving, and protective of his girls (he checks on them in the middle of the night.)
10. My blog readers. I have 99 followers and 281 subscribers on Feedburner. Thank you all for reading. It is quite humbling to know so many people follow my weird ramblings, photos, and lists. Thank you.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
POD - Pulley and Rain
Why School Events Drive Me to Drink
I am so not a fan of back to school nights or school social events.
Maybe it is because I've been doing these for longer than most adults thanks to G.
Or maybe because there are just too many elements of junior high among the adults.
For example, these events at their school tend to be an outward demonstration of who is really, truly committed to providing a quality of education to all of these kids. They do it by volunteering while at the same time doing sort of the "look at me, I'm volunteering and you aren't" dance.
Don't get me wrong. I'm very thankful for the parents who can volunteer on a frequent and regular basis. But, when I do it, I don't do it to draw attention to myself. I do it because I have identified a need, and I have filled it. I don't do it for my own social net worth within the parental community.
And if you are volunteering alongside many of them? Especially the women?
They are gossiping about EVERYONE.
Teachers, staff, other parents, kids - you name it - they gossip about it.
And it drives me nutty.
When DJ was in first grade, her teacher's mother was dying. She and her sister had to alternate taking care of her, so she was burning through vacation and sick days like crazy. The parents would constantly bitch about the fact she was gone. They complained that she was not engaged. They decided it was because she clearly didn't take her job seriously. After listening for about 20 minutes of this while I was helping these women get food ready, I asked what they would do if their own mother was dying. "Oh, we'd drop everything and go spend as much time with her as possible" was their reply. "So why, when she is doing the same thing you would do, is what she doing interpreted as her being irresponsible or disengaged or not taking her job seriously?" "But we expect our kids to get the best education" was their reply. I think I launched into my teachers are people too lecture. When they realized the line they had crossed, the backpedaling began. I mean, they could not be known as uncaring of the staff's personal issues.
I have always dared them to come after me for not volunteering as much as they do. I would love it if they did because here is the reality. While they are volunteering to pass out chicken at the annual chicken dinner, I am buying their children pencils. G's kids seem not to have any. They can't seem to get their parents to buy them. They can't seem to locate their own. So, they leave it to the teachers and school to supply them. One year, I got a deal on 5000 pencils. I figured that would last him and his other teachers in his other 4/5 grade a few years. It did not last them through the year.
Paper.
Markers.
White board markers.
Hell, I have bought his classroom a projector when he needed it.
Besides stuff, I have picked up after their kids.
I have made sure things have gotten back to their kids - jackets, book bags, lunch boxes, etc.
His parents who loved the fact they could download their kids' homework? Yeah, I set it up so that they could do that before the school district provided a technology solution.
For the school, I have picked up trash. I have weeded their flower beds. And I did these things without the need for a "community clean-up day" or a school event. I did it because it needed to be done.
And I have done that - at this school - BEFORE my kids attended the school.
Why have I done it? Not because I wanted my social net worth within the community to go up. It was because I saw it was needed, and I did it. I did it so that their kids could learn. So that their teacher could teach without worrying about if he had a white board marker that worked.
I guess that is why these events drive me nuts. We are doing this under the guise of "helping the school" and "helping the kids" and "helping the staff". But, I can't help but feel it is mainly because it is "helping the parents look good."
And the only time I don't mind that level of competition?
School auction. Because the competition usually results in the school getting a shit-load more money than it would have without it.
Is his school the only school that is like that? Or have other parents noticed this trend?
Maybe it is because I've been doing these for longer than most adults thanks to G.
Or maybe because there are just too many elements of junior high among the adults.
For example, these events at their school tend to be an outward demonstration of who is really, truly committed to providing a quality of education to all of these kids. They do it by volunteering while at the same time doing sort of the "look at me, I'm volunteering and you aren't" dance.
Don't get me wrong. I'm very thankful for the parents who can volunteer on a frequent and regular basis. But, when I do it, I don't do it to draw attention to myself. I do it because I have identified a need, and I have filled it. I don't do it for my own social net worth within the parental community.
And if you are volunteering alongside many of them? Especially the women?
They are gossiping about EVERYONE.
Teachers, staff, other parents, kids - you name it - they gossip about it.
And it drives me nutty.
When DJ was in first grade, her teacher's mother was dying. She and her sister had to alternate taking care of her, so she was burning through vacation and sick days like crazy. The parents would constantly bitch about the fact she was gone. They complained that she was not engaged. They decided it was because she clearly didn't take her job seriously. After listening for about 20 minutes of this while I was helping these women get food ready, I asked what they would do if their own mother was dying. "Oh, we'd drop everything and go spend as much time with her as possible" was their reply. "So why, when she is doing the same thing you would do, is what she doing interpreted as her being irresponsible or disengaged or not taking her job seriously?" "But we expect our kids to get the best education" was their reply. I think I launched into my teachers are people too lecture. When they realized the line they had crossed, the backpedaling began. I mean, they could not be known as uncaring of the staff's personal issues.
I have always dared them to come after me for not volunteering as much as they do. I would love it if they did because here is the reality. While they are volunteering to pass out chicken at the annual chicken dinner, I am buying their children pencils. G's kids seem not to have any. They can't seem to get their parents to buy them. They can't seem to locate their own. So, they leave it to the teachers and school to supply them. One year, I got a deal on 5000 pencils. I figured that would last him and his other teachers in his other 4/5 grade a few years. It did not last them through the year.
Paper.
Markers.
White board markers.
Hell, I have bought his classroom a projector when he needed it.
Besides stuff, I have picked up after their kids.
I have made sure things have gotten back to their kids - jackets, book bags, lunch boxes, etc.
His parents who loved the fact they could download their kids' homework? Yeah, I set it up so that they could do that before the school district provided a technology solution.
For the school, I have picked up trash. I have weeded their flower beds. And I did these things without the need for a "community clean-up day" or a school event. I did it because it needed to be done.
And I have done that - at this school - BEFORE my kids attended the school.
Why have I done it? Not because I wanted my social net worth within the community to go up. It was because I saw it was needed, and I did it. I did it so that their kids could learn. So that their teacher could teach without worrying about if he had a white board marker that worked.
I guess that is why these events drive me nuts. We are doing this under the guise of "helping the school" and "helping the kids" and "helping the staff". But, I can't help but feel it is mainly because it is "helping the parents look good."
And the only time I don't mind that level of competition?
School auction. Because the competition usually results in the school getting a shit-load more money than it would have without it.
Is his school the only school that is like that? Or have other parents noticed this trend?
Friday, September 17, 2010
POD - On The Way Home
 |
| this photo was taken at dusk. Why does it look so bright? The exposure was 1/125 @ f/1.4 with an ISO of 4000. |
I like the fog and the light coming around the bend.
Family Craziness
" The most wasted of all days is one without laughter."
~E E Cummings
Wednesday night, we took the girls out to dinner. Everyone had been a long crazy day, so it was nice not to have to cook after the crazy day.
When I got into the car, the girls were laughing hysterically.
"Okay, what is funny?"
"Indigo farted so loud that the tree shook and the rain fell onto the car," DJ explained.
"It was the wind - outside - not in the car" was my response.
They just laughed harder.
At the restaurant, they decided to read a comic together. Indigo had brought one she likes - and DJ conned her out of it having forgotten a book of her own. They kept laughing at the jokes and giggling until the food arrived.
During dinner, the new game started....
"Kiss, marry or kill - Sara, Jack or Eric."
"What did you just ask your sister," I asked Indigo.
"It's a game we play at school."
Great. The kids have found a way to play a cleaned up version of Kill, Fuck or Marry.
"Uhm...." DJ thought.
"Well, you have already kissed Jack, so who would you marry and who would you kill?" I asked.
"Moe...." she gave me a disgusted look, "I would marry Sara. And Kill Jack."
She made it a point to give me a fake glare when she said it.
At this point, we were all laughing.
We knew it had degenerated when they were asking which of the three chickens she would kill, kiss or marry. We were all laughing like crazy people. I suggested there were no bad options in that one - one chicken would be finger licking good.
The next day, I commented to G how much fun it was. How great it was to laugh that hard together as a family. It helps that I have created two smart ass girls.
"That is how I always envisioned your family was growing up."
"You know, it really was a lot like that."
Then again, it can still be like that as our last gathering and photo attempt proved.
We just didn't need some crazy game to get it started.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
POD - Christmas Lights and Flora
 |
| Why yes, our neighbors have put up their Christmas lights....before the end of September! |
This dahlia just screamed to be changed into black and white.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
HNT - Tie Me Up
click the pic please.
We don't have the kind of relationship where he can tie me up. He's tried. Then he's gotten bossy - and in turn, I have gotten pissed. Why? If bound, he loves to take advantage of me. And not always in the good way.
A few months ago, G started exploring rope tying, or rigging for those who know the lingo. He went to some classes. He read about it. And he tried it on me for practice. Didn't work so well. The pics as you may recall turned out nice, but he loved being able to push me around - and, well, together with the fact that is not our dynamic, I was pissed off. Hardly the foreplay we anticipated.
But last night, he begged to try it again. I decided I was game. It was all the beer. (Long, shitty work day + dinner & beers with a good friend = relaxed, easygoing Emmy) Anyway, he played. I tolerated and teased. And, it was worth the results.
He has decided he wants a playmate - a woman who wants to be tied up and who is tolerant of it. I'm all for it. It's more back to where our relationship was - just a different requirement and a new website.
Until he finds another woman, I will tolerate. I DO like the pictures.
And we DID have some fun later.
Guess it wasn't all bad. :)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Check out Os to see who else is playing.
Or OHNT for some anonymous fun.
A Glimpse into my Tuesday Conversations
"Hey there!"
"Hi, Emmy, how are you?"
"I'm good. How are you doing?"
"I'm doing good."
"Liar!"
He laughs. "I'm having a rough day."
"I know. It was suggested that I call."
He laughs again.
"So what's going on."
"I over did it."
I laugh. "Shocker!"
"I know. But in my defense, I didn't think I did a lot."
"Where you out in your shop?"
He pauses. "Yeah. But I wasn't doing anything."
"If you weren't overdoing it, I would be surprised. Take it easy."
"Yeah, I know. The hospital told me it could take a while."
"It's only been a few days. I'm pretty sure it will take longer than a few days."
"I know," he has that sort of smile in his voice as he talks.
"Get better, okay?"
"Ok, Emmy."
My phone call with my playmate who had surgery last week. I called after getting a text from his wife saying he needed some cheering up after his rough day & suggested I call.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Either your twin is sitting across from me in this pub, or it is you. Which is it?"
~The text message I received from a swinger friend while sitting in a pub eating and drinking with another friend.
It was me.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
As I left the car this morning, my daughters said, "Don't kill anyone at work, Moe."
"Yeah, and don't eat anyone either!" said the other one.
Damn they know me too well. And they foreshadowed my day too.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Well excuse me if I'm doing my fucking job. The reality is that I am going to get calls and such, and it is unrealistic for me to continue to run this project and involve everyone like is expected. That is my job. Your job is outlined. So if you don't support me, then I have no value."
~My response to a subset of the team who bitched at me for not including them in on everything.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"One of my best times was when I got worked over with my husband and another guy. "
Sigh....such a happy memory..... a very happy memory! :)
"Hi, Emmy, how are you?"
"I'm good. How are you doing?"
"I'm doing good."
"Liar!"
He laughs. "I'm having a rough day."
"I know. It was suggested that I call."
He laughs again.
"So what's going on."
"I over did it."
I laugh. "Shocker!"
"I know. But in my defense, I didn't think I did a lot."
"Where you out in your shop?"
He pauses. "Yeah. But I wasn't doing anything."
"If you weren't overdoing it, I would be surprised. Take it easy."
"Yeah, I know. The hospital told me it could take a while."
"It's only been a few days. I'm pretty sure it will take longer than a few days."
"I know," he has that sort of smile in his voice as he talks.
"Get better, okay?"
"Ok, Emmy."
My phone call with my playmate who had surgery last week. I called after getting a text from his wife saying he needed some cheering up after his rough day & suggested I call.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Either your twin is sitting across from me in this pub, or it is you. Which is it?"
~The text message I received from a swinger friend while sitting in a pub eating and drinking with another friend.
It was me.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
As I left the car this morning, my daughters said, "Don't kill anyone at work, Moe."
"Yeah, and don't eat anyone either!" said the other one.
Damn they know me too well. And they foreshadowed my day too.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Well excuse me if I'm doing my fucking job. The reality is that I am going to get calls and such, and it is unrealistic for me to continue to run this project and involve everyone like is expected. That is my job. Your job is outlined. So if you don't support me, then I have no value."
~My response to a subset of the team who bitched at me for not including them in on everything.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"One of my best times was when I got worked over with my husband and another guy. "
Sigh....such a happy memory..... a very happy memory! :)
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
POD - Rope
 |
| Weave me a rope that will pull me through these impossible times. ~Tim Finn |
We'll just call this foreshadowing of my HNT to come. :)
Defeated
The woman who sits next to me in my cube used that word to describe me yesterday.
I corrected her and said I'm more done fighting.
I feel that I have been fighting too many battles. And today, I subconsciously, I guess, chose to stop fighting so many.
Today, the fight was with an executive who was returning from vacation after about 7 days out of the office. I knew he would flip out. Why? Because he did the pissy executive thing - he heard a number and nothing else and decided that was all. They said $30K. They did a deep dive into our requirements and decided the team's uncertainty meant it was more like $150K. The more questions they asked, the more it went up.
Who had two thumbs and had to deliver this bad news?
Yep - me.
I knew he would be pissed. I knew he would somehow hold me accountable for his own incompetence. I knew I would have to defend someone else's number. Happy Monday!
I also know they are looking to limit hiring in 2011. I'm running that project too. Do I think there is a job at the end? Probably not. So now my goal is to make sure that my legacy when I leave isn't a pile of shit. Because I know how it works, the contractors and the people who leave get blamed for those piles of shit applications even if they had nothing to do with the BUSINESS requirements that led to them. My objections won't be remembered, but my name will be.
The meeting went better than expected. I was pleasantly surprised. But, he did what I expected - tried to use this as the reason to throw the baby out with the bath water. He found a different software that would give him everything....get this, out of the box. No customization needed. If you are in IT like I am, you are now rolling your eyes and cursing the sales person who he talked to. That fucker. It NEVER works that way. Two months into the project with this magical software, and he'll hate them just as he does this one. Yeah, I've read this book. But I digress.
But that was kind of the latest thing. Over the weekend, I fought another battle. If the house is destroyed, I get stressed, then I get pissed. I gave G two forewarnings that I was on the verge of exploding. (Go ahead, envision She-Hulk because that is how I feel when I'm angry.) Sure enough - Sunday morning after no efforts were being made to fix it, I flipped. And did I flip good. The girls decided it was best to hide out in their room after I started making them remedy the issue. After letting G know exactly how I was feeling about his lack of help lately, I just started dealing with it myself.
Later G apologized. I had given him warning we were approaching the red zone, yet he did nothing. He decided for one of the first times in our relationship that he was totally deserving of the rage he received. Like I told him, I'm good at being the bitch, but it doesn't me I enjoy it.
Friday ended with me arguing with my boss about the project. He was careful to say he didn't blame for the lack of progress, then went on to ask me why I wasn't doing all fo this stuff. So I bluntly told him. There is open disrespect for documentation, schedule, scope, and timeline. Why waste my time and his by doing sometime so despised - especially when there is no accountability. He sat back in his chair and didn't know what to say. "Welcome to this project" was my response.
Earlier in the day, I fought with the PM for the consulting company.
Then I fought with a woman on the project who started questioning my approach.
In parenting, it is often advised to "pick your battles" to make sure you aren't getting nitpicky. I'm usually good at it. But this time, I'm finding that sadly all of these battles are worth fighting.
I'm just kind of done.
I, instead, am choosing another cliche. They have made their bed. I'm letting them lie in it.
I corrected her and said I'm more done fighting.
I feel that I have been fighting too many battles. And today, I subconsciously, I guess, chose to stop fighting so many.
Today, the fight was with an executive who was returning from vacation after about 7 days out of the office. I knew he would flip out. Why? Because he did the pissy executive thing - he heard a number and nothing else and decided that was all. They said $30K. They did a deep dive into our requirements and decided the team's uncertainty meant it was more like $150K. The more questions they asked, the more it went up.
Who had two thumbs and had to deliver this bad news?
Yep - me.
I knew he would be pissed. I knew he would somehow hold me accountable for his own incompetence. I knew I would have to defend someone else's number. Happy Monday!
I also know they are looking to limit hiring in 2011. I'm running that project too. Do I think there is a job at the end? Probably not. So now my goal is to make sure that my legacy when I leave isn't a pile of shit. Because I know how it works, the contractors and the people who leave get blamed for those piles of shit applications even if they had nothing to do with the BUSINESS requirements that led to them. My objections won't be remembered, but my name will be.
The meeting went better than expected. I was pleasantly surprised. But, he did what I expected - tried to use this as the reason to throw the baby out with the bath water. He found a different software that would give him everything....get this, out of the box. No customization needed. If you are in IT like I am, you are now rolling your eyes and cursing the sales person who he talked to. That fucker. It NEVER works that way. Two months into the project with this magical software, and he'll hate them just as he does this one. Yeah, I've read this book. But I digress.
But that was kind of the latest thing. Over the weekend, I fought another battle. If the house is destroyed, I get stressed, then I get pissed. I gave G two forewarnings that I was on the verge of exploding. (Go ahead, envision She-Hulk because that is how I feel when I'm angry.) Sure enough - Sunday morning after no efforts were being made to fix it, I flipped. And did I flip good. The girls decided it was best to hide out in their room after I started making them remedy the issue. After letting G know exactly how I was feeling about his lack of help lately, I just started dealing with it myself.
Later G apologized. I had given him warning we were approaching the red zone, yet he did nothing. He decided for one of the first times in our relationship that he was totally deserving of the rage he received. Like I told him, I'm good at being the bitch, but it doesn't me I enjoy it.
Friday ended with me arguing with my boss about the project. He was careful to say he didn't blame for the lack of progress, then went on to ask me why I wasn't doing all fo this stuff. So I bluntly told him. There is open disrespect for documentation, schedule, scope, and timeline. Why waste my time and his by doing sometime so despised - especially when there is no accountability. He sat back in his chair and didn't know what to say. "Welcome to this project" was my response.
Earlier in the day, I fought with the PM for the consulting company.
Then I fought with a woman on the project who started questioning my approach.
In parenting, it is often advised to "pick your battles" to make sure you aren't getting nitpicky. I'm usually good at it. But this time, I'm finding that sadly all of these battles are worth fighting.
I'm just kind of done.
I, instead, am choosing another cliche. They have made their bed. I'm letting them lie in it.
Monday, September 13, 2010
POD - Candle Light
How far that little candle throws its beams! So shines a good deed in a naughty world.
~William Shakespeare
Hmm...maybe I should reconsider candles. I mean, I like the naughty world. :)
10 More Random Emmy Facts
1. I collect art books. Mainly they are collections books that you can get from a museum. I like reading through them, learning the stories about the artists and the pieces, and just relieving what I may have already experienced.
2. As a result, I know a lot more about art than one would think. I took one too many art classes in college - a result of being at a liberal arts college where I could take art classes and meet requirements for graduation. I took an African Art class that ended up being more a study an anthropology, than art. A Women in Art History class that ended up being more history. A design class and a landscape painting class. I often look at a picture I've taken and hear one of my favorite college professor's voice in my ear asking "is that interesting?" He was a college icon - everyone had to have him to understand what made him such a great professor.
3. I can go days without showering - particularly when I haven't been working out. It's why camping never bugs me.
4. I am the defending champion for the family fantasy football league. I took great pleasure in beating the hell out of my brothers that season because they both consider themselves football experts and expected that they would be the only real competition out of all of us. They ate crow fast. It is why I wasn't invited to be in their league the following year. My sister-in-laws upon hearing this made fun of them and their fear. My Monday night player had better do well, because there is a risk he could beat me this week. And I have to start off right. My sister-in-law who is joining us - well she's kicking ass beating my dad 105 to 45. I knew I liked her.
5. I find it easier to keep my mouth shut online than I do in real life. I think it is because I know how easy it is to misinterpret something someone can say online, so I want to be really clear if I'm not happy with a situation. Plus, people can be selective readers. While people can be selective listeners too, I find I realize that is happening quicker and can correct it. Harder to do online where things seem to drag on and on and on.
6. I like quotes. I collect them. Such as:
"How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours." ~Wayne Dyer
"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." ~Plato
"Reputation is character minus what you`ve been caught doing." ~Michael Iapoce
7. I have read all of the Sookie Stackhouse books - the books the show True Blood is based off of. While the show as its own work is okay, I prefer the books. They are better. I had a chance to see the author speak this summer. I walked away wanting to read everything she wrote. She kept telling all of the gushing women that they need to remember to not escape in her books too often - there is a lot of real life to be lived.
8. I watch the online show The Guild religiously, yet I have no real interest in online games like World of Warcraft.
9. I frequent coffee shops or restaurants where the employees make me smile. I figure if the employees are happy and seem to want to be there that it would follow the food or drink will be better. So far, it is a decent theory.
10.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
POD - Banksy Inspired
I saw a news article online earlier in the week that said local officials were trying to decide if some recent graffiti that has shown up in at least 3 places in Portland were the works of a famous artist - Banksy.
Banksy is a British graffiti artist born around 1975. Little is known about the guy given his true identity is unconfirmed. He is an artist and an activist. Chances are you have seen his work. Of the three pieces that I heard were around, we found two. One was painted over - and the rumor of the 4th was, in my opinion, misinformation. I think that was a different graffiti artist.
This one sadly has been graffiti'd by another artist. But you can get an idea of Banksy's style. He uses stencils. Why? It's faster. The story goes he was out creating a huge graffiti piece with some friends when the police caught them. The others ran and got into a car, but he was forced to hide for an hour. During that time, he saw something that gave him the idea of using stencils instead.
This is one I have seen in his self published book: Banksy: Wall and Piece. He often uses children and animals in his art. His works are amazing with some amazing commentary on the world. He also has done some paintings - some are his pieces he installed in the art museums where the art is located. In the book, he actually comments how long each piece stayed hung in those places. Some were taken down as soon as 2hrs after he installed them - some have stayed up for weeks. Check out his website.
Oh, and I should mention that while everyone is eager to credit Banksy for these images - the local art museum experts are skeptical. Who knows.
Here is the one some had credited to Banksy but it is not:
This is in a well traveled bike lane near our house. If you look at them all, you will recognize them from Mario Kart. Banana peels, stars and turtles all mark the way.
Here is one we found during our search for the Banksy pieces:
And here are two other things of interest. The first is an old sign being shown in a display of antique water pistols:
This sign is pretty iconic in our China Town in Portland. They had taken it down, but we noticed today it was back:
Banksy is a British graffiti artist born around 1975. Little is known about the guy given his true identity is unconfirmed. He is an artist and an activist. Chances are you have seen his work. Of the three pieces that I heard were around, we found two. One was painted over - and the rumor of the 4th was, in my opinion, misinformation. I think that was a different graffiti artist.
This one sadly has been graffiti'd by another artist. But you can get an idea of Banksy's style. He uses stencils. Why? It's faster. The story goes he was out creating a huge graffiti piece with some friends when the police caught them. The others ran and got into a car, but he was forced to hide for an hour. During that time, he saw something that gave him the idea of using stencils instead.
This is one I have seen in his self published book: Banksy: Wall and Piece. He often uses children and animals in his art. His works are amazing with some amazing commentary on the world. He also has done some paintings - some are his pieces he installed in the art museums where the art is located. In the book, he actually comments how long each piece stayed hung in those places. Some were taken down as soon as 2hrs after he installed them - some have stayed up for weeks. Check out his website.
Oh, and I should mention that while everyone is eager to credit Banksy for these images - the local art museum experts are skeptical. Who knows.
Here is the one some had credited to Banksy but it is not:
This is in a well traveled bike lane near our house. If you look at them all, you will recognize them from Mario Kart. Banana peels, stars and turtles all mark the way.
Here is one we found during our search for the Banksy pieces:
And here are two other things of interest. The first is an old sign being shown in a display of antique water pistols:
This sign is pretty iconic in our China Town in Portland. They had taken it down, but we noticed today it was back:
Breaking a Pattern
G and I were talking the other night about where we were at a year again. I was looking for a picture for the day - a subject that was photo-worthy when he suggested I look at my picture from a year ago and recreate it. Great, I thought. That could be fun. I opened up Blogger's dashboard and looked at my picture from that day in 2009. It was the weekend our female playmate, G and me spent together. A great weekend - lots of fun - all together in one bed.
We had planned on how we would dress for G. We relaxed and had some lazy play, then we would play more intensely. We always had a lot of fun when the three of us played together. And that was a great weekend - and a great memory - and not one I could, sadly, capture again.
We had a falling out with her roughly three months later. All over a guy - if you boil everything right down to a simple summary. For me personally, it was less about the fact he and I had something she wanted but didn't have - a great friendship we still have today - but more about feeling pushed away. I had tried to be understanding. I had tried not to rub her nose in anything. I had tried to forgive, but she kept saying goodbye - and the last time, I accepted it and stopped trying.
G was removed enough he stayed in touch. He checked in with her occasionally to see how she was. On a logical level, we both knew what was really happening - and we both knew she needed a friend - we didn't want her to feel alone. Sadly, he was in a better position to give her that support than I was. I was hurt. I was saddened that this was someone I liked - outside of the bedroom - who I enjoyed being friends with - who pushed me away and was gone.
I have good self confidence. One would think I could have pushed aside that stuff and been more persistent. But I also know when to back off. I know when to let go or cut bait, if you will. So I did. I felt like I was a casualty, of sorts. And while I was happy - and am happy - that I retained a friendship with one person, I never liked how it was either/or. I didn't like what that did for him who tried with her even after she and I had our falling out. I know it created stress. There was a real
Several months ago, she and G started reestablishing a more real friendship. She actually met with him and apologized. When he expressed interest in learning some rope skills for the bedroom, she invited him to join her at a rope class she attended. Before they got there, they met for coffee and talked face to face for the first time in about 6 months. She apologized, attempted to explain where she was coming from, and reassured him where she was at. She also expressed her desire to repeat this with me - who she felt she really owed an apology to.
I declined.
I had moved on. And to be honest, I did not feel I needed or wanted an apology. I did not want to go revisit the past. I really didn't want to go there. I wasn't sure I could do it again. I did like her. I did have fun with her (both in and out of bed). I just didn't know if I could do it again. I'll be honest. I have been burned in the past. Where I have forgiven, and things did go back to the way they were - and it happened again. I don't like that pattern. So, I was fine walking away and moving on.
A few months ago when G got his news, she was one of the people he had to inform. We had no idea when or who this infection came from - so he made his sort list - and called down it.
Reactions, as I've mentioned, were mixed. Her reaction, to be honest, surprised me. Why? She asked a lot of questions. She did some research. She checked in with him every few days making sure he was okay. She basically was a good friend about it. She was shocked, but more at how even her understanding of herpes was lacking. When he was looking for a new doctor, she helped him identify those who were lifestyle friendly and knew about the disease.
I have often said that actions speak louder than words. Apologies would not have had the same effect as her actions. I'll be honest. Sorry is always interesting, but actions speak much louder. And during that time, I started realizing maybe I owe her my attention so she can apologize how she feels she needs to apologize. Given how good of a friend she has been to my husband, it is the least I can do.
G texted her when we discovered it had been a year ago since our fun weekend together. Her response was "It saddens me to think about a year ago. What I ruined." While G and I were reminiscing about the fact it WAS a fun weekend, her first response was regret. One of her last messages to him was "do you think Emmy will ever forgive me?"
Yeah, I need to give her the chance to apologize. She needs to move on. This no longer is about only me.
We had planned on how we would dress for G. We relaxed and had some lazy play, then we would play more intensely. We always had a lot of fun when the three of us played together. And that was a great weekend - and a great memory - and not one I could, sadly, capture again.
We had a falling out with her roughly three months later. All over a guy - if you boil everything right down to a simple summary. For me personally, it was less about the fact he and I had something she wanted but didn't have - a great friendship we still have today - but more about feeling pushed away. I had tried to be understanding. I had tried not to rub her nose in anything. I had tried to forgive, but she kept saying goodbye - and the last time, I accepted it and stopped trying.
G was removed enough he stayed in touch. He checked in with her occasionally to see how she was. On a logical level, we both knew what was really happening - and we both knew she needed a friend - we didn't want her to feel alone. Sadly, he was in a better position to give her that support than I was. I was hurt. I was saddened that this was someone I liked - outside of the bedroom - who I enjoyed being friends with - who pushed me away and was gone.
I have good self confidence. One would think I could have pushed aside that stuff and been more persistent. But I also know when to back off. I know when to let go or cut bait, if you will. So I did. I felt like I was a casualty, of sorts. And while I was happy - and am happy - that I retained a friendship with one person, I never liked how it was either/or. I didn't like what that did for him who tried with her even after she and I had our falling out. I know it created stress. There was a real
Several months ago, she and G started reestablishing a more real friendship. She actually met with him and apologized. When he expressed interest in learning some rope skills for the bedroom, she invited him to join her at a rope class she attended. Before they got there, they met for coffee and talked face to face for the first time in about 6 months. She apologized, attempted to explain where she was coming from, and reassured him where she was at. She also expressed her desire to repeat this with me - who she felt she really owed an apology to.
I declined.
I had moved on. And to be honest, I did not feel I needed or wanted an apology. I did not want to go revisit the past. I really didn't want to go there. I wasn't sure I could do it again. I did like her. I did have fun with her (both in and out of bed). I just didn't know if I could do it again. I'll be honest. I have been burned in the past. Where I have forgiven, and things did go back to the way they were - and it happened again. I don't like that pattern. So, I was fine walking away and moving on.
A few months ago when G got his news, she was one of the people he had to inform. We had no idea when or who this infection came from - so he made his sort list - and called down it.
Reactions, as I've mentioned, were mixed. Her reaction, to be honest, surprised me. Why? She asked a lot of questions. She did some research. She checked in with him every few days making sure he was okay. She basically was a good friend about it. She was shocked, but more at how even her understanding of herpes was lacking. When he was looking for a new doctor, she helped him identify those who were lifestyle friendly and knew about the disease.
I have often said that actions speak louder than words. Apologies would not have had the same effect as her actions. I'll be honest. Sorry is always interesting, but actions speak much louder. And during that time, I started realizing maybe I owe her my attention so she can apologize how she feels she needs to apologize. Given how good of a friend she has been to my husband, it is the least I can do.
G texted her when we discovered it had been a year ago since our fun weekend together. Her response was "It saddens me to think about a year ago. What I ruined." While G and I were reminiscing about the fact it WAS a fun weekend, her first response was regret. One of her last messages to him was "do you think Emmy will ever forgive me?"
Yeah, I need to give her the chance to apologize. She needs to move on. This no longer is about only me.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
POD - A View into Saturday
Definitely an autumn morning.....overcast, hazy, and cool. And leaves starting to turn. This picture was taken at 7:30am - before the first soccer game of the season.
My kitty
G taking my picture - my hobbit impression - he got a litre of a good beer. I felt like a hobbit.
And I realized he needed to learn to focus my camera.
With all of the drama going on about the idiot in Florida burning the Qur'an today, I was taken back by this church's response. Instead of jumping into the fray, they decided to show that they were Christians who did not hate Muslims by reading from their Qur'an.
DJ asked about Sept 11th today - what happened, what it meant, where we were. You could tell she could not fathom it happening - could not fathom the event unfolding as it did. G and I explained as best as we could. This comic that G found reminded us of this conversation:
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