POD - Poe's Nuts

The other night, DJ saw this squirrel at the store - and, in her best, Veruca Salt impression said "Squirrel!"  Then begged we get it for the tree.

At the checkout, the woman was talking her her.  DJ starts babbling about how the squirrel with its nut would go next to the pickle on the tree. Then she explained how we play "hide the pickle" in the Christmas tree.  I simply shook my head as I laughed to myself at her choice of her words.

"Look, Moe! The squirrel is holding a nut - Poe's nut! He's got Poe's nuts. He's got Poe's nuts! Look his arms move up and down"

Then she stopped...and said "That doesn't sound right."

At this point, I'm laughing at her.  As we start walking out to the car, I asked her why it sounded wrong.  What can I say, isn't it part of my job as parent to embarrass where I can?

She laughed and said "the nuts part. I probably shouldn't have called them Poe's nuts."

"You kept saying over and over again 'Poe's nuts, Poe's nuts, the squirrel has Poe's nuts'. That squirrel has Poe's nut!"

At this point, DJ is laughing hysterically about it.

"I think that I'm naming the squirrel Nuts" was her response when she finally calmed down.

Then she went home and presented the squirrel to G and giggled when she told him the name as I stood behind her and promised to tell him later.

"DJ, we need to talk about why announcing we play 'hide the pickle' doesn't sound good either."

She simply laughed, said it sounded wrong as she said it, then said "MOE!!" after I told her what it meant.

DJ has been exhibiting a knack for picking up innuendos.
This could be an interesting time as she becomes a teenager.

Meet Margaret

I have seen every episode of the TV show MASH.  I have seen the movie that preceded the show more times than I can recall. The theme song on the TV show is the instrumental version of the song from the movie - Suicide is Painless. Donald Sutherland played a great version of Hawkeye Pierce in the movie - Alan Alda did that role proud.  The one change I did enjoy from the movie to the show is Margaret "Hot Lips" Houlihan. As the show progressed, she became less and less a stickler for the rules and more and more of a compassionate person.

I loved watching the characters over time. The drama of war. The reality that just because it was a sitcom didn't mean everything had a happy ending.  Not everyone you grew to love went home.  You heard the gunfire, but you rarely saw the enemy. The psychological aspect of war - the emotional toll - was captured and shown in a way not all war shows and/or movies can successfully do.

My dad being in field artillery made MASH even more interesting.  In fact, it drove home the point of the show further given that my dad's unit had howitzers from the Korean War - the last time that unit had been deployed.  My dad was part of the leadership in the Guard Unit. This means he (and us kids) spent a shit load of time at the armory.  The big rule: Don't touch the door leading into the weapons room.  It was heavily alarmed - and my dad did not want to get in trouble for that.

Hanging around jeeps and howitzers and duces was the status quo for my childhood.  And when we saw on MASH them bouncing around in a Jeep, for example, we knew what that felt like having ridden in them many times.  Same goes for the duce.

I think that's why I have always wanted a Jeep.  But, to be honest, I wanted one like my dad's unit had (pre upgrade to the hummers obviously).  I wanted one like on MASH where the windshield folded down. I wanted an old one.  The new ones were nice - but they seemed like too much work and worry.

I have always joked that I would make that my midlife crisis mobile.  I'd get rid of the vehicle that was family friendly, and get the Jeep.

I have learned not to make jokes to G. Sadly, I remember this after I have made one.

Last week, G informed me he wanted to let me in on my Christmas present. He had found a 1967 Jeep - and his plan (if I accepted) was for him to buy it for me.  It has a few issues - and the colder than usual weather did not help that, I think. But, I saw it and knew that was the Jeep I wanted.

It was delivered to me Friday afternoon.  The owner did not really want to part with it, but you could tell he had not found a valid reason to keep it.  It had not be driven for a few years with any degree of regularity, and he really wanted it to be loved.

As we left, he asked if we would give him a call when we had it up and running and rehabbed. He really wanted to see her loved and running again. He had her for many years - and you could tell he was not ready for it to end.

Notice I'm calling the Jeep a "her". It was clear was we hung out with him the other night that this Jeep was female in his eyes.  He referred to "her" more than a few times as we talked.  And while we tried to get her heated up so she would start, he clearly was cheering for "her".

I decided as he was cleaning her off that her name would be Margaret - the main female character from MASH. Plus she is red so "hot lips" as a nickname would be perfect.  I don't know if she'll stay red. I'm actually in the process of trying to find the plate on her engine that will tell me what color she should be. Thank you, Internet, for that info.  And thank you taekwondo school for acquainting us with the nicest dad who happens to know all of the auto paint shops in the areas - as well as how to do it himself. I guess he's already offered to paint it this spring.

Now she sits in the front of my house.  I know she'll run. She just needs a bit of TLC. I mean, she has low miles when you consider how old she is.  I have visions of taking her out on backroads with one of the dogs so that I can take photographs.  Given her history, I know she will.

The guy we bought her from, he made me promise to bring her by when she is running again. He wants to see her used. He loved that Jeep.  It was, I think, the last remaining piece of his first marriage. Selling her brought it all to an end. But clearly is only the beginning for me.

And yes, Wayward Rider, it is an old Jeep! Boil away. ;-)

POD - Through Two Lenses

Buddha through two lenses.  A cool idea I saw today on PetaPixel, so I had to try it.  I will definitely be playing with this idea again. 

Unintended Consequences

We met with polite words, an embrace, and a quick kiss on the lips.  Or that's how it was intended.

The quick kiss turned into another one and a deeper one until we were pulling each other in tight - hands roving - breathe quickening.

He had come for another purpose - a non-sexual one - but the tension between us was clearly too much as that purpose left our heads and was replaced by the urge to devour each other.

He slid a hand along the side of my body from thigh to my arm - then did it again, this time slipping under my shirt and bra. He easily found a nipple, erect and waiting for him to squeeze.  And when he did, I moaned into the kiss.  This started the blur of activity as we quickly shed each other's clothes.  Then I dropped to my knees and took his cock into my mouth.

I started by swirling my tongue around the head, then slowly started taking more and more into my mouth - sliding the length in and out between each attempt to take more. And with each stroke, with more length taken, his response was greater.  I felt his hands on my head, grabbing some hair, so he could control the pace and depth. He could keep me from sliding his cock back out before he was ready. This continued until he used my hair to pull me back to my feet.

Our lips met again - a long, deep kiss that ended with teeth on each other's lips and necks.

I grabbed him by the hand and took him to the bedroom, shutting the door after we entered. We kissed again, then I broke it long enough to ask "you gonna fuck me?"

source

POD - Portland

Photo of Downtown Portland taken while on the I5 bridge. I lucked out and got a good one while in the car.

POD - Moo

DJ is always drawing. When we attended her parent-teacher conference, we laughed as we looked through her work samples and found sketches everywhere. Front of the paper, back of the paper, both the front & back - everywhere. There were also her pictures hanging here and there in the classroom. It was funny seeing how much she does it at school.

Of all the pictures I chose, I should have picked a non-cartoon one. These are cute, but her warrior girl pictures are amazing. She seems to understand body position in a way that most adult artists struggle with.  This picture was inspired by a weird conversation we had about egg nog on the way home from the store. Egg nog comes from a weird relationship between a cow and a chicken.  Yeah, ours is not a normal family.

POD - Clouds Stuck in the Trees

I always love it when it is rainy, and we start climbing into the hills. The clouds literally are hung-up in the trees - you can only see some of the tress at the top through a veil of the rainy haze.  And even as the other clouds roll through, you never see those leave the place they are stuck.

And the water droplets are stuck to the cedar and fir trees.

NOW it can start....

What can start?

The Christmas holiday madness.

I know, I know....it already started despite many people's objections. But I have been trying, my best, to ignore it.

For example, egg nog is great. But I have not had even an egg nog latte out of pure protest. It isn't time yet. But now, now it is.

The only place I do break my own rule about Christmas is in the gift arena. I buy gifts as I find them. In fact, if my kids were more astute, they would realize how many boxes under my bed and in the top of my closet are actually presents for them. In fact, today, G and I have decided to pull everything out of hiding and figure out what we are missing for the girls.

And Saturday, Saturday I am going to my friend's sale. She is a jewelry designer who sells off stock before Christmas. It is also her way of making some quick money before the holidays.  In her family, they celebrate both Christmas and Hanukkah. That is probably where I'll get my SILs gifts - and maybe my mom's gift too. But not my MIL's gift. Why? Last time I got her this gorgeous necklace my friend made. We had my in-laws and our friends gather together for a birthday celebration or something. My MIL decided the necklace design wasn't great - so she "fixed" it. Hey, to each her own - but don't wear it when you are going to see the designer.  It was an awkward exchange. Let's just say my friend is not shy or  discreet when she notices things.

I also have a few gifts to make this year.  I am going to frame some family pics I took and give them to my brothers. Gotta decide which ones and how big and all of that.

And we'll need to figure out when we're getting our tree. I realized the next three weekends are booked. Takes us right to Christmas. A good and a bad thing.

So today I will make the to-do list.
Today the holiday music, movies, and all can begin.
I mean, there are only 29 days to Christmas!

POD - Adventures and Thanksgiving

I left an extremely vague comment on Twitter the other night. Saying I was off to see my possible Christmas present. I was deliberately vague because G was letting me in on the gift he wanted to get me.  Ultimately, he wanted it to be what I wanted - not what he did.  Needless to say, the man knows me well. I'll write more about that later as it will need its own post. I'll just give a clue in the pics.

I can't help but wonder if this was directed at someone who lived on that street. 

more later....

And today....

I LOVE the steam coming off the mashed potatoes. I had wondered if I would capture it, so was happy to find out I had.  They were yummy too.....as my kids can attest to. I believe they are on serving #4 for the day. And G thought I had made too many. Ha!

HNT - Thankful

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose. 

~Woody Allen

I am thankful for so much.

My health.

My job.

My home.

My friends - those people close to me who never cease to amaze me in great ways. I love you all. Thank you for your love and support this year. I truly appreciate it. The conversations, the chats, the beers - all make my life better, so thank you.

My kids - the two bananas who never cease to amaze me. Despite their fighting, I have two incredibly smart and talented girls who can and will do anything in this world. They make me laugh more than any two people in my life.

My family - the people who drive me the craziest sometimes. My youngest bro who I have gotten pretty close with this past year. My other bro who I wish he would stop taking life so seriously - but I sometimes need it.  My parents who drive me crazy, but who are starting to get into the groove of life in Oregon. I'm glad they are around. When my dad was my age, he lost his mom. I am glad I don't have that story to tell.

My husband - despite his crazy antics - the fact he can get us out of synch by simply getting overly enthusiastic about something that I do not get.  I cannot image a better partner in life. I love you more than words can be expressed.

All of my readers - thank you for being part of a community. 

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone.

To see who else is playing this week, visit Os.

Oh and send him an extra picture this week, I think he could use the distraction and the extra love after the week he has had.

And visit OHNT for more fun.

Weird Emmy Fact Wednesday

1. I can't hear people in loud or noisy situations. So I will always nod and agree. Even though I have no idea what is being asked or said.

2. Our yellow lab would sleep in our bed if G would allow it.

3. I hate to wear socks. Even if it is cold. And if I wear them, I'll take them off and be barefoot in the house. G used to joke when I was pregnant cooking that it was just where he wanted me - barefoot and in the kitchen. Go ahead and roll your eyes. I did.

4. I am a chocoholic - but am a dark, DARK chocoholic.

5. I love art. And while some would believe I am an admirer of photographers, I actually love painters. Artemisia Gentileschi - a female Italian baroque painter. Diego Velázquez - a Spanish painter. Henri Mattise - are just a few. I took an art history class and 2 art classes in college which furthered my love for it.

6. I read books at least 4 times. The first time is for the story line. The second is for the characters. The third is for the details. And the fourth to see what I missed. It is funny to see DJ emulate the same behavior without my teaching it to her.

7. Thanksgiving in my family was always the time to see if they could get whatever I was drinking to shoot from my nose. I'm easily amused. What can I say. And this tradition goes back more years than I can count. I have not drank anything while sitting at the dinner table for Thanksgiving since I was about 10, I think.

Happy Hump Day!

PODs - Snow?

Yesterday I went to upload my POD only to find that smugmug was down for maintenance. Bad time to take a site offline, IMO.  But what could I do. So here is yesterday's and today's.

the moths falling from the sky...or at least that's what G said they were last night.

The snow on the last rose in my yard.

G pics the beers by the bottle, can you tell why he got these two? Sword swallower is really good, btw. 

Kids and The "Extra" Security Measures

They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety.

~Benjamin Franklin

I was going to stay away from this topic given many are writing about it - and I didn't have much to add. If I was going to write about it, I was going to write about it in terms of the funny dialog it has generated between my consultants who fly in from four different parts of the country each week. They have had interesting experiences with the new regulations.  

But now, now I'm feeling a bit more connected to it. Why? G is going to fly with the girls in a few weeks. And, no one is touching my kids.  I don't care what the perceived risk is.

What are the chances, you wonder, that it would happen?

Well, the female consultant - the retired Air Force Vet of about 60 yrs of age  - was given extra security after the scan revealed an unidentified something in her crotch area.  She was pulled out of line, made to feel like a criminal as she got her pat down to make sure she wasn't smuggling something.  Even after they let her go on her way, she couldn't help but feel like a criminal. The pat down reminded her of what cops would do as part of their arrest procedure. And the fact there had to be another woman in the room as the person patted her down made her reminiscent of a medical exam.  

In the end, one admitted that it was the lack of experience with the scanners that resulted in extra pat downs.  

She didn't care - all she knew is how it made her feel. 

G and I have been talking about what to do with the girls. While our airport has neither the scanner or the new security procedures, we know coming back will have it. 

I have heard from the consultants who have researched this extensively that there are different procedures for kids. All I found on the TSA website was some video (which I will admit, I did not watch) and a blurb about how their goal is to make the kids feel comfortable with the experience. Ok, let me rephrase that like they did "to not feel uncomfortable with the experience".  Yeah, that makes it sound less creepy.  

What do we tell our girls if they get pulled out for extra security? I mean, it's not okay. It isn't going to fix anything or prevent anything. How does he handle the situation without freaking them out or landing in jail?

To be honest, I'm not keen on them flying right now because of this issue. I don't need either kid put through something that goes against what they have been taught in terms of strangers touching them inappropriately. These are not doctors - there is no good reason for it.  The world isn't going to be safer having them being "extra security screened". 

How do other parents feel about this issue especially if you plan on flying with your kids soon?

How are you going to approach it?

Time with Indigo

If you look at my pictures yesterday, you will see the few hours Indigo and I spent at the Chinese Garden.  While DJ and G were off being geeks, I decided we needed to go do something. Indigo was happy to lay on the couch and watch movies in front of the fire, but I realized how infrequently she and I spend time together.

Indigo loved the Japanese Garden the time we went. The scavenger hunt they gave the kids gave her a way fo seeing the garden that she enjoyed. I think she was hoping for the same thing this time around.  Even though they did not do this at the Chinese Garden, the neat little booklet they gave describing the areas of the garden was enough for her.

Fact #1 about Indigo: She LOVES to read. Like G, if you give her a sign or a book - she has to read all of it.  Unlike G, she will actually read it to you after you have read it. The enthusiasm is great. But just a little loud for a quiet, tranquil place.

Fact #2 about Indigo: She uses big words. She occasionally tosses in a good word here or there, but her vocabulary is off the chart.  She's using words to accurately describe things that most adults won't use. Where did that come from?? Guess I missed it because I usually hear her fighting with her sister.

Fact #3 about Indigo: She loves tea. We had tea in the teahouse, and she was blown away. She and her sister discovered mint tea a few months ago. They love drinking it. It was funny seeing her sitting at the neat table in the tea house, with her ugly doll, sipping tea and discussing the flavors she is tasting.

Fact #4 about Indigo: She has become crazy for drawing. There were three people there drawing pictures from various points in the garden. She looked at me and realized she was without her backpack - therefore without her paper and writing implements. "Next time, Moe, I want to draw pictures like they are."  And knowing Indigo, she will.

Fact #5 about Indigo: She can actually spend several hours without being crazy. When I see her, she is around her sister - the person that draws her crazy out.  If it grosses out her sister, Indigo will do it 10 times to really gross out her sister. Nothing is too crazy or too much.  Spending 3hrs with her and not having to remind her to calm down or tell her to stop doing that to her sister was refreshing. It allowed me to see Indigo and not "Indigo the Little Sister".

It was fun spending that time with her. It was fun seeing her for who she is not who she becomes when around people. She and I will definitely go there again (and other places) - and next time, I'll make sure she has her drawing pad.

POD - Portland Classical Chinese Garden

the closest to snow we got today

reflections in the pond

bike art near the garden

Persimmons 

The Scholar's Courtyard

Indigo and I had tea in the teahouse.

The pathways are all stones carefully laid in a pattern.

Knowing the Fish Pavilion

I actually like this story of where it gets its name.  It comes from a conversation between two ancient philosophers. Walking along a stream and looking at the fish in it, one says to the other how happy he finds the fish to be. The other replies "You are not a fish. How can you know that the fish are happy?" The first replies "You are not me. How do you know I don't know the fish are happy?" 

They were having a Chrysanthemum exhibit. Chrysanthemums are considered one of the four honored plants honored in autumn. 

Out of Synch

When we are in synch, we are in synch - like amazingly in synch.
Like on the same page, on the same line, and on the same word - in synch.
Like know what the other is thinking even without a word.
It's like a perfectly choreographed dance.
It's a good feeling.

But when we are off beat with each other.....we are REALLY out of synch.

I know for sure when this has happened when phrases such as "they'll be by about 5ish and are bringing dessert" finally raises the topic that G had invited friends for dinner without telling me.

Ok - to be fair, he thought he told me.

But, he mentioned their coming in context of helping with the engine in the bus, not in terms of "and they are staying for dinner".

Yesterday, at 11am, right as I'm about to walk out the door with DJ to her taekwondo training, I discover this.

I was far from happy with this discovery.

Friday night, the girls has a sleep over - each having a friend over.
Saturday morning was Indigo's birthday party with her friends.
Saturday during the same party is DJ's training.
After that, the engine installation was scheduled.
Now there is dinner with friends.
Followed by a wonderful Sunday where he was to attend a comic book show.

As I pointed out to G, at what point was he going to tell me that there was a dinner needing to be made. And where in this schedule is the promised "nap" as I recover from the late night with four fighting girls followed by a morning with even more fighting? Toss in the fact that the house was going to need to be picked up between him yanking stuff out of his car and the girls, and my afternoon had just been defined for me.

What ends up happening in these scenarios is a few things. G tries to remedy the situation by going to extremes. He's the one that didn't communicate, so he starts planning and replanning things to fix the problem. Classic guy thing.

The problem with this approach and me is that the fix is usually a bandaid. I want the core problem fixed. The fact he didn't talk with me before making the plans that involved me.  So when he throws out how he's going to fix it by pretty much digging himself a deeper hole, it rarely helps. We just get further out of synch.

What I think makes it harder for me is wondering how it happened. How did this pendulum swing from one extreme - one positive extreme - to this one?

Like anything in a relationship, I know this too shall pass.
Just makes for a long few days until it does.

POD - Fall, Flora and Ugly Dolls

Leaves clogging up the streets and creating lakes of rainwater.  A common sight in the PNW this time of year.

Here are those flowers again. Still don't know what they are. They are neat though. I was happy there was still some on the trees.

Indigo was happy that as a gift, her friend gave her an ugly doll. Her doll and her friend's doll were having a play date too - according to the girls.  Wow, I don't think I've ever used play date in such an innocent way on this blog.

The Work Week Wrap Up

Glimpses into my work week - or entertainment thanks to my consultants....and others....through conversation. Enjoy....

"How many times has his wife called today?" one of my consultants asked another.
"I think about 10 times."
"It's only noon?!" replied the consultant.
"You know, you guys that I'm sitting right here, right??"

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

"I guess I should call my wife back - since she was hit by a car, you know?" commented one of my consultants.

"WHAT?" was my response.  I mean, he flies from the east coast every week - he's a hell of a long ways from home.

He laughs, "Yeah, she was hit by a car earlier. I guess you missed that phone call."

"Is she okay?"

"Yeah, it was her fault. I mean, if she has been home to sign for that UPS delivery, she never would have had to go to UPS in the first place."

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

"Have you ever heard of a hall pass?" asked consultant #1.

Consultants 2 and 3 both said no as did I.

"It's when a wife gives her husband a free pass to do whatever he wants, with whomever he wants, with no consequences," then he pauses, "I asked my wife for one but she said no."

Everyone laughs.

"But I travel so much. Think about how nice it would be to have one while on the road. Granted, picking up a woman at Denny's would be hard, but I'm willing to take a shot. Plus, maybe I should explain to her that 4 out of 10 people think marriage is obsolete."

Meanwhile I keep reminding myself not to say he's asking for an open marriage.

Consultant #2 commented, "Why don't you tell her she would also get a hall pass?"

"She can have a hall pass - but I don't know what she would do with the kids."

"Careful, there big guy, she may make the same requirement to you." was my comment.

"True.....damn you!"

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

"So the installation of the software is no biggie. It takes maybe 20 minutes to install the software on the server....." drones on the software guy on the phone.

I feel my phone vibrate with a message and see:

"Did you see my status on FB?"

I responded "I hadn't"

"You should read it - I think it'll make you smile."

".....so it'll be ready to go by Jan 2nd if all goes well. It's easy," says the software guy...

....as I'm checking FB.

He was right,  it did make me smile.

"did you get the pic I sent you?" I type.

"No, I didn't."

So I resend the picture I thought I had sent him....naked picture ....while sitting in a conference room surrounded by my boss, an exec and two other business people.

"So your project plan says this is a 3 week gig, yet you just said it'll take you about 3hrs. Explain to me why the difference?" I ask the software guy as I hit send.

"Well, you guys are unique. I've been doing this for a long time - almost 3years - and ....."

"I got it! Nice ass!!! I haven't fucked an ass in SUCH a long time..."

"I haven't had mine fucked in a long time myself."

"C'mon....Not even B?"

"....and that's why we're going to have to handle your installation differently. But it'll still be easy....I think. Not to sound like a sales guy....."

I hit the mute button and say (along with two others in the room) "Too late!"

"Sorry to interrupt you, but when can we get that meeting scheduled?" I asked after unmuting him.

"Not in a while. Plus, what about you? I believe you said you fucked R's ass recently." I type.

"It seems like a long time ago"

"well, you know where I live ;)"

"Ok, so we'll schedule that next week with you after I get these guys into that training class. Send me the info. And I'll talk to you next week, " I told the software guy. 

"Yeah and we want your best people" comments the CFO before I hung up.

"Thanks, sexy, you made this meeting a lot more interesting chatting with you."

"Anytime!"

Oh, and TL, because I know you are lurking, thank you! I needed that conversation with you last night.  I should have realized sooner that you would totally get where I was coming from as well as what I was feeling.  You give good counsel. You can add that to your list of party tricks.  I love you, my friend. 

"A friend knows the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails." 

-Donna Roberts

HNT - Punny Edition

click the pic please.

You can lead a horticulture but you can't make her think.

-Dorothy Parker

Check in with Os to see who else is playing this week.
Or OHNT more fun.

POD - Fall Flower

My hope is that the wind doesn't blow these off until I can get back with my camera vs my iPhone. These 'flowers' were pretty amazing looking when I stumbled across them yesterday - something I had never seen before. And the colors....well, you'll just have to take my word for it. Until I can prove otherwise.

And Now She is 8

Eight years ago, Indigo came into the world - a chubby baby who loved to sleep and eat and generally spoiled us rotten.  A nice contrast to DJ who wouldn't eat or sleep.

I have often speculated that if they are quiet as babies, they may be handfuls later in life. Indigo proves this theory. She is way too smart for her own good.  While she can be the sweetest kid, she can also be a holy terror especially with her sister. She's goofy. She's fearless. She's an amazing kid - and a frustrating one too as she knows how to push every button and how to push boundaries.

But I love that about her. She knows what she wants - and she won't take no. How can you not admire that tenacity. All I can do is hope to teach her how to use that power for good and not evil.

POD - Dead Battery Edition

You know, the upside of buying a used camera was the fact the price was perfect. I got a lot of camera for a fraction of the price. The downside? Worn out things. New batteries need to be bought. And now, possibly a new battery charger. I think it's working again (for some reason), but it looks like I'll be buying a new one. My current one is fickle, and I don't think it is charging my batteries very well. Oh, well.  Except for when you want to shoot pics and you discover you can't because the battery is dead - again.

a car part next to a stack of salsas from lunch.

Japanese War Memorial - the cherry trees in fall

The Steel Bridge and the water front

G-gnome in the light.

The 10 Commandments

Note: I started this blog post after a conversation I had the other night with the lovely Veronica.  During the course of it, she commented how this would make a good blogpost.  This started out as one thing, but turned into this one - a more generic version of the concept. So, thank you for idea, V.  And to the reader, enjoy. 

1. Thou Shall Communicate with Everyone.

2. Thou Shall Listen AND Hear.

3. Thou Shall Not Compare Partners

4. Thou Shall Respect Wishes of Others

5. Thou Shall Honor Above All Else the Primary Relationship

6. Thou Shall Respect the Boundaries

7. Thou Shall Not Get Jealous

8. Thou Shall Play Safe

9. Thou Shall Love Your Playmate, but not “LOVE” Your Playmate

10. Thou Shall Respect Yourself

These are, in my humble opinion, the 10 Commandments of Playing within an open relationship. These commandments apply to anyone involved in the open relationship: spouses, playmates, playmates playing between playmates, everyone. I know when I talk about being open, I typically focus on the primary relationship - the spouses - but I think these are important to everyone involved in them especially if the playmates are recurring characters, if you will.

Commandment #1: Thou Shall Communicate with Everyone.
Communication - effective communication - is critical. Yes, I am a broken record. I admit it. But, in thinking about communication, I decided communication has to be good among everyone. Spouses need to have a good communication between themselves for obvious reasons. I mean, NOT having it will implode their relationship or create waves that are best avoided. (Unless you enjoy fighting with your spouse in which case, I will not judge you for your kink.) I also think it is critical to have good communication with your playmates as well. Everyone has to be talking. Everyone has to be open. Everyone has to be on the same page. Communication needs to be clear, direct, and specific. There can be no assumptions between playmates and spouses. If in doubt, ask - that is my philosophy and what I always hope for in other relationships. And yes, I do lead by demonstrating. Which leads nicely into commandment #2….


Commandment #2: Thou Shall Listen AND Hear.
Talking is great, but you also have to be a good listener to be a good communicator. Active listening is a great approach. It may sound like some sort of management babble, but listening for what the person talking is really needing from you is important. Sometimes the person talking just needs an ear - no action required other than listening and inserting the right responses at times. Sometimes is validation. Sometimes it IS action. You have to listen and hear what they are saying. But be careful…..it is easy to try to fill in the blanks early as you are listening - where you may only hear part of a statement and make the assumption about the rest of it and respond before HEARING the rest of it. Being the listener isn’t easy. In fact, it may be hard to hear what the person is saying. But, it is important - so listen, hear and don’t be defensive. Everyone is working for the same goal - better communication. Just remember that. No matter how much you might like hearing what you are hearing. Shut up and listen.

Commandment #3: Thou Shall Not Compare Partners
….with your other partners. And that goes both ways, by the way. G’s current playmate is taller than I am. I know that. I’m sure there are things that work better for him and her because of the height thing. Again, I know that. And, I don’t need to hear him say it in terms of “wow, honey, that works better than with you because she’s tall”. If I hear how much time one playmate gets with another person they are playing, I could be tempted to wonder why I don’t get it. Or why he doesn’t try that with me. So, it is best NOT TO GO THERE. Feelings will get hurt. There are few ways around it. Most importantly, you must respect the fact that people inherently have different things with different partners. There is no way around it. It’s chemistry people - and people are the variables. G and I cannot do things together that SG and I can. Does that make one better than the other. Nope. Just different. Comparing is really pointless at the end of the day. So avoid it - accept there are difference - and just don’t go there.


Commandment #4: Thou Shall Respect The Wishes of Others
And if you can’t respect the wishes of others, then you need to move along. Or close the relationship. If someone is honest and upfront about their feelings and their wishes, you have to respect them. You may not like them or agree with them, but, especially in your primary relationship, you have to respect them. And, in playmate relationships, if a playmate isn’t comfortable with something, respect it. Respect is truly important, no matter how kinky it gets.


Commandment #5: Thou Shall Honor, Above All Else, the Primary Relationship
I’m sorry but playmates have to understand that the primary relationship - my husband in my case, wins above all else. I love him. I respect him. And I will honor that relationship. Period. End of story. A playmate who disrespects that or him will not be a playmate long. I will not chose between a playmate and my spouse. That is absurd. I’m married to one. I have kids with one. He wins. I’m sorry, but that is the way it is. And should be. Just like I understand that my playmates have girlfriends or spouses who have relationships they need to be nurtured and that will always win above me. It’s a two way street.


Commandment #6: Thou Shall Respect the Boundaries
This commandment hits many levels. Personal boundaries. Relationship boundaries. Kinky boundaries. If someone has put up one, you don’t have to agree with it - but you should respect it. Clearly it is meant there not to be mean or deny fun - but to protect his/herself from something. You can talk about the boundaries, but respect the person setting them enough to respect what they have said and why - even if the why is unclear. Things change, so maybe, with time, the boundaries will too. Just don’t bank on it.


Commandment #7: Thou Shall Not Get Jealous
Sometimes this commandment is easier said than done as we are humans who like our own toys and don’t inherently like to share. Think about this one. If you have had children or even been around little ones, you must teach the child to share - not horde their toys. You must teach them if someone has something they don’t, it isn’t a reason to get jealous or be angry. You should be happy for the friend (and maybe hope they will share). I think people are the same way - except we are programmed to not share people we love or care about or consider “ours”. That last point is kind of interesting though “consider ours” is the key to the problem, I think. People don’t belong to people because that, my friends, is considered slavery if they do (or a Master-sub relationship). But everything about the world teaches us that people should “be ours”. As I commented to a friend recently, I don’t care how submissive I’m feeling - I still choose who I’m going to give myself to. I still retain that choice and control. You can envy the situation, but you can’t be jealous of the circumstances that led two playmates to play. Or you may wish you had that sort of dynamic with that partner, but there is no point in dwelling on the fact you do not. The dynamic is a shared one - and you are not part of that particular sharing circle. Jealousy is hard. But you have to take pleasure in the experience your partner is having - by not looking at what it does to you, but what it does to them is the right shift in thinking. Because really, no matter how jealous you may become, it isn’t about you. And it doesn’t always need to be about you. So accept it, move on, and revel in how happy they are. This goes with your primary spouse. Your playmates and their other playmates. Your friends. It’s okay to secretly wish you could have experienced it, just don’t let it consume you. Let your happiness at their happiness win.


Commandment #8: Thou Shall Play Safe
Come on, you didn’t think I was going to leave this one off given everything we’ve been through over the past few months, did you? This commandment has multiple dimensions. Play safe means safe sex. It means testing. It means asking about it. It means understanding if there are any medical things that could put a partner at risk if they DO catch something. Sex is good and and all - but be safe. Communicate it. And respect it. 100% of the time.


Another meaning is for the kinkier crowd. Play safe. Getting tied up? Make sure there are safety scissors nearby. Play with safe words. Know where the boundaries are. Respect the boundaries. Going into a scene - set it up with what it is or is not. Talk. Communicate. Play safe.


Commandment #9: Thou Shall Love Your Playmate, but not “LOVE” Your Playmate
Love between playmates is always considered a polyamorous thing. But here is the thing I have learned in the past year. Love has many levels. You can love you dog. You can love your child. You can love your job. While you love your spouse, you are, more importantly, IN LOVE with your spouse. G and I love our friends. And with some of them, we are fairly open about it. Be okay with the fact a situation may arise where you realize how much you love something about the playmate - the way they handle a situation - the way they know how to hit the right buttons the right way. And be okay that you love that and love that person for those reasons. Love is not always a romantic thing. It does not mean you are out of love for your spouse. It does not mean your spouse should be threatened. It just means there are parts of this person you love and appreciate. And in my opinion, that’s okay.


For me, I love TL and the way he cares about me. The friendship we have means a lot to me, and he never ceases to amaze me. I love SG and the way he can simultaneously do very kinky things to me and coddle me in a way few are allowed to do. I love them both - but I am not in love with either of them. That’s saved for G.


Commandment #10: Thou Shall Respect Yourself
You deserve to be treated the way you want to be treated. You hold the keys. Be kind to yourself. And if things don’t feel right, trust that feeling. Make yourself be heard if the person that needs to listen is not. This should all be fun. Not stressful. Not worrisome. So, to borrow a phrase i used to hear while playing sports, “if you are’t having fun, you’re doing something wrong.” Because here is the thing. Squirmy is fun. Flirty is fun. Upsetting is not fun. Lots of disappointment is not fun. Respect yourself and your feelings enough to know when enough is enough. Know when to bow out. Know when to say to your primary spouse that you can’t do it anymore.


These, in my opinion, are the commandments carved into stone. The rest of the rules you and your partners choose to add are simply written down - open to change as needed - or to be added to the stone tablets. But these are the commandments anyone involved in an open marriage or open relationship should follow.

POD - Catching Up

Work has been crazy and our nights this week have been filled with non-online activities. So, the pictures have been taken, but not uploaded. Today I have been working to catch up.....I've taken a lot of pictures the last week.

DJ came back into the house after been sent to gather eggs. Where are the eggs was our question. I need a bucket was her answer. Four hens, laying over two days - 8 eggs or too many for a 10yr old to carry.

Indigo was taking out the recycling when I heard "Moe, come quick with your camera." The sun was rising and she thought it looked cool through the trees. A budding artist in the making because it wasn't too bad.

I find it funny that the Hot Yoga studio is right next door the bakery. While I wait for G to get our scones, I can watch the class through the window.  I did like the cut out yoga sign.

A quick visual as to why I hate the end of daylight savings time. 5:30pm - and the moon is shining bright. I miss sun. At least it wasn't raining, I guess.

While waiting for the train Thursday, I pulled out my camera to take this picture. I liked the leaves, the bare tree branched and how they looked with that building in the background. After taking the picture and stashing the camera back in my bag, I turned to find people looking the direction of my photo wondering and speculating what I was taking a picture of.  It was pretty funny.

Last night, we were returning from watching SG's son play in a football game. Or rather, we watched his team lose spectacularly. The fog had been rolling in along with the cold. It was definitely football weather. There is a stretch along the highway we were taking that has huge trees on both sides creating this sort of gorgeous natural tunnel.  The fog, the dark, the street lights, and the trees created this:

Today, G and his friends are installing the VW engine into his bus. I came out to find this:

They figured now is the perfect time to paint the engine tin. I may be getting my porch painted after this one as between cleaning and spraying, I doubt they kept it from hitting the paint. 

The MacGyver of Kink

On Wednesday, I talked to SG who commented that I needed to let him know when I'm working at home next so that he can come help me. Or should I say cum help me. I had lamented the fact that it would likely not be until January as my project will make it difficult.  We might need to schedule some time at a hotel after work or something - or maybe an overnight.  We decided to play it by ear and keep that option open.

Yesterday I realized that it was only going to be a half day. My consultants are in town for four days each week making those 9-10hr days leaving Friday a weird day for me. And a day I have to carefully manage my own budget on the project (given I'm a contractor).  I was getting ready to leave at lunch time when I ran smack dab into the caravan bringing into the square the giant Christmas tree. I stood their annoyed at the fact I was stuck waiting for traffic to clear so that the trains could start running when I decided to text SG.

"Wish I would have realized sooner today would be a short day. The house will be empty - so you could have played. Maybe I'll try to plan better next time."

I got a call less then a minute later.

"I'm working in the city today."

How lucky was that!  On a good day, he is an hour away.  And even luckier was the fact he was at a point where he could turn the work over to his assistant and take off.  He would be at my house in 30 minutes. Perfect.

He came into the house dressed in his work clothes and boots. I had clearly lured him off the job for the day. Damn shame really.  I shut the door behind him and gave him a hug hello.  A hug that turned into a kiss that turned into me having to suggest we leave my living room and open blinds and go into the bedroom.

As he took off his shoes, he apologized. He did not have his bag of trick as he normally would. He had teased me earlier that I was to find some cord or something he could use to tie my nipples like he liked. Ironically, instead, I had hidden all of G's ropes and other accouterments from SG.  They weren't mine to loan - but also I had teased him he was going to have to be creative. Can't make it easy on the man.

After getting undressed and warmed up a bit, he stood up asking if the under-the-bed restraints were still under the bed. I confirmed they were, and he walked around fishing them out and laying them on the bed within arms reach.  He then pulled me up,  rolled me onto my stomach, and bent me over the bed.  He was quite proud of his plan, I could tell, as he attached a cuff to each wrist so that I was forced flat and sprawling on the edge of the bed.  Then he went behind me and prepared to fuck me.

And fuck me he did, hard into the bed with long strokes - the sound of our bodies slapping together filling the air mixing with my moans. He slid deep into me, then paused for a second.  I knew when his hand left my hip what to expect.  WHACK! His hand slapped my ass, once, twice, then a third time. Then he switched hands to smack the other side.

SG is not a spanker. He loves his slapper and his crop.  He loves how red it makes my ass. And he loves how it sounds as well as how wet it makes me.  I heard him fumbling around, then he said "perfect".

What was perfect??

"Look what I found, Emmy." He lifted my hair off my face so I could see it. He had found the belt my daughter had returned to me.  My black studded belt.  "Oh shit" was my first thought.

"Hmm....which side should I use - they both would work well. I could use this side," then he demonstrated his point by smacking my ass with the end. "Or I could use this side," then demonstrated  on my other side.  Both lifted me off the bed a little in my response - as they smarted in a way that walked that line between pleasure and pain.  And what a walk along that line it was as he picked a side and smacked my ass with the end of the belt.

After he was done, he laid the belt next to me so I could see it, and started fucking me hard again.  He rubbed his hand across each welt as he did it - both reminding me of them as well as trying to massage away the sting.

SG loves my breasts bound. It is usually the first thing he does before starting anything else. He loves the way they feel on his chest. He loves the sounds I make when he plays with them bound. He loves the way they look.  Without rope, I knew he would not be able to bind them - or would he.

He stopped fucking me - and pulled away suddenly.  I heard him unclipping the other cuffs, then pull open the velcro tabs.  He then loosened my arms so I could push myself up on my hands.  He then proceded to wrap each cuff tightly around each breast.  Pretty much creating the same effect.  Then he tightened my arms down again, pushed me flat and started fucking me.  

I had made a comment earlier that my head hurt.  A combination of stress and a past due trip to the chiropractor had given me a pain in the neck and head.  He finally released me so that we could reposition me in hopes of helping eleviate my neck.  Plus, he felt sorry for me having exasperated it already.  He had me flat on my back, then started removing my cuffs from my wrists.

SG is a natural when it comes to predicament bondage. He knows exactly how to put me in situations where I have no good choice in terms of who to shift my weight or change position.  In this case, he attached the cuffs to my ankles and attacked them to the straps above me. I couldn't put my feet down or could I put all of the weight on my cuffs. This forced me to hold my legs open and in position - no cheating by relying on the bonds. Nope. Only my leg muscles.  And when he does stuff like that, he spends time trying to make me shift positions. And this was no different as he fucked me hard - making my body move and shift, thus making it difficult to hold the position.

He stopped thrusting when he was buried deep inside me, pulled me close, and said in my ear that he would release me - maybe - if my legs got tired. Until I admitted it, he was going to keep fucking me.

Fuck.

And when I didn't say uncle, he started demanding to know where there was string.  I didn't know where there was any, so he improvised.....

....again.

"These clips on these cuffs will work" he decided.
"WHAT??"
"These clips" as he showed me the clips used to connect the cuffs to the straps.
And with a smile, he demonstrated by clipping one onto my nipple as a makeshift nipple clamp.  He put the other one on, then smiled down at me and my expression that clearly gave away how it hurt good....very good.

"How's that, Emmy? Are you sure you don't have string?"
"I swear, you are the MacGyver of Kink" as I laughed at how many uses he found for accomplishing the same things with this set of under bed restraints.

Then as I was mid-laugh, he slid into me hard - pulled me tight against his chest so that the clips rubbed and pulled a bit and fucked me hard.

Even when I said much later that my legs were tired, he didn't unclamp them right away. And when he did, he put my legs on his shoulders then fucked me hard again - forcing my legs to rub against the clamps.

And here I thought my fun was going to be more laid back due to his lack of toys.
I guess I should just be happy he didn't bring a roll of duct tape.

A Friday in Images

Since I have three blog posts half finished and a bunch of pics to load. Yeah, not happening right now. So, instead I leave you with a scattering of images I've collected for posts, but just haven't used yet. Sometimes others just get it right and there is no need to try to say it yourself. 

God I hate autocorrect on my iphone. :)

Good image for me today.

This one made me think of a conversation I had with a friend last night.

Happy Friday!!

all images found on vi.sualize.us.