Multnomah Falls - a frozen Multnomah Falls
Mt Hood from the orchards near Hood River
Mt Hood - courtesy of G who took it as I was driving
Out in the background, you can see the Sisters Mountain Range.
a closer view
Friday, December 31, 2010
POD - Last Set of 2010
We drove from Portland to Central Oregon today. Since everyone and their brother was headed to the mountain for skiing and such, we went over the backside of Mount Hood via the Columbia River Gorge and Hood River. It was a cold drive, but not nearly as crazy as it would have been the other way.
2010 Blog Recap
The last blog post of the year - or nearly last one assuming I don't post a picture, I guess.
Ok, let me start over -
The last blog rambling of the year.
I feel I should be reflective, or at least do a self evaluation to assess my blogging for the year.
The facts:
- Posted 640 times.
- Took and posted a shitload of pictures. (highly technical description)
- Participated in HNT every week this year - 70 photos total.
- Posted a lot of quotes.
- Ranted way too much about the fucking project I'm managing.
- Wrote some erotic accounts of my play dates.
- Have a lot of new followers compared to last year.
- Have found people have gotten to me via some pretty interesting web searches.
The 365 Day Project
In 2009, doing the project forced me to do something I was just not good at: carrying the camera with me and taking a shit load of pictures. Sure, if I had the camera, I took pictures. But, many times in the past, I would bemoan the fact I missed a great opportunity because it wasn't with me. And the photos I did take, were happy accidents many times. I had no idea how I did it. They just happened to turn out well. So, I did the project to help me get better. Force me to carry the camera. Force me to take pictures. Force me to learn to turn these happy accidents into purposefully taken photographs. And 2009 did many of those things for me.
In 2010, I decided to continue to do it. Then I realized quickly that I did not like that last minute feeling of needing to figure out what my picture of the day was going to be. In 2009, shooting for the sake of having a picture was fine. But, I didn't like doing that anymore. I wanted there to be a real purpose behind why I took that picture - and not because I felt I had to keep the project going. So, I started focusing on quality versus quantity. I started doing little day trips to places where there were great photo opportunities. I started setting my white balance on my camera using a white balance card (of sorts). I upgraded my camera and was forced to learn how to live without a flash by setting ISO, shutter speed and aperture. I learned about editing photos. So, while I may not have hit every day, I do feel my purpose was the same. Getting better at taking pictures.
In 2011, I'm going to continue to do much of the same. I'm not sure I'll do a formal 365 project - or if I'll go to a weekly thing. Pics will continue to be prominent on the blog.
The Stories
I started in late 2009, but did it more in 2010 - sharing stories - stories of our sexy encounters - of my sexy encounters. It was kind of fun sharing them. Being open about that has been nice. Sharing the moments that stick in my head has been nice - kind of a cross between a page in the diary and a conversation with a friend. I'll likely continue it in 2011. Okay, who am I kidding, I will. Writing those passages helps me process them - helps me figure out what it was about those moments that stands out in my head. No blow-by-blow - simply a passing moment to share - a glimpse.
Me
Some of the blog posts that have been my favorite and the most fun to write are the ones about me. Weird Emmy Fact and the like have generated some of my favorite comments. It's funny how revealing one's quirks can do that. I'm sure I'll do more. I'm quirky.
I have also had some fun with HNT this year. I take a majority of my own pictures - thanks to a remote and a tripod. It's funny how an idea can evolve into other images. And, like the 365 day project photos, editing them has been fun too. I know I'll continue to do that.
Overall, 2010, has had its up and downs. Despite some of the downs, I don't think I'd trade much about it. There are few things. There are people I wish I could have seen more, but those wishes are like icing on a cake that is already good on its own. While we have lost a few friends along the way, the friends who have entered our lives have been great additions.
Our kids are healthy. G and I are still going strong. I'm employed. He's employed. We have love - we have laughters. Despite some minor drama here and there, we have peace.
Life, overall, is good.
In 2011, I hope for much of the same.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
POD - Beer and Converse
My project is launching Monday.
For those of you who don't understand the significance, I started this project on Feb 1, 2010. This is the 5th go-live date for the project. We haven't even been able to keep requirements solid long enough to make progress. Today, I realized that this is the longest some of the core accounting requirements has remained unchanged all year. A record. Today, we cut over to the new system. And I celebrated.
C-Son's Greetings - the seasonal IPA at the 5th Quadrant. (It's on the right.)
G's cousin made me these custom Converse:
I realized after taking and uploading this photograph that I started the year with a shot of my running shoes. Kind of ironic that one of my last photos of the year is the same.
For those of you who don't understand the significance, I started this project on Feb 1, 2010. This is the 5th go-live date for the project. We haven't even been able to keep requirements solid long enough to make progress. Today, I realized that this is the longest some of the core accounting requirements has remained unchanged all year. A record. Today, we cut over to the new system. And I celebrated.
G's cousin made me these custom Converse:
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
HNT - Favorite HNT Edition
I'm cheating because I had 74 pictures - having participated every HNT this year. So here are my top 5.
I'm going to cheat and not say why I like them. I am too tired and my brain has shut off for the night. I'll let you guys guess....or maybe I'll explain later when my brain turns back on. :)
See who else is playing favorites this week by visiting Os.
Or OHNT for more fun.
click here to see the whole collection, if you would like to peruse.
I'm going to cheat and not say why I like them. I am too tired and my brain has shut off for the night. I'll let you guys guess....or maybe I'll explain later when my brain turns back on. :)
See who else is playing favorites this week by visiting Os.
Or OHNT for more fun.
Rekindling
Summer - 2009
We had been chatting and talking and emailing off and on for a couple of weeks before we met. The chemistry between the three of us seemed to be there, and we were finally going to see if it would hold in person.
It was one of the rare warm summer weeks in Portland. 100 degrees for several days. G had been joking with her that maybe he would get me in a sun dress since it was warm. I decided it was a good choice given the weather - and the situation - meeting a potential playmate.
We arrived at the pub we had suggested. She was sitting outside at a table in the shade having arrived before us. As we walked up, I could sense her excitement and nervousness. Comes with the territory really - would the chemistry hold in person? Are we the people the other expected? The excitement and the trepidation - the hope it works and doesn't result in disappointment.
I slide onto the bench beside her while G sat across from us. We ordered our drinks and started talking. The stories and the conversation just flowed. The chemistry was there. She joked he had won and got me in a sun dress. I told her I had worn it for her, not him. She had asked nicely. The flirting was good, but I could tell she was still nervous - still wondering if this was going to happen.
She wondered until, after telling a story, I put my hand on her leg instead of back on the table - and started stroking it as I continued to talk.
Her eyes lit up - her smile - that killer smile she has - seemed to light up her face more than it had before. And that nervousness that was underlying seemed to fade away.
While we normally have a "no play on the first date" rule, we decided to take advantage of our overnight babysitter. We got a room - figuring if things worked out we would be prepared. If not, G and I would get to sleep in air conditioning.
We invited her to join us. And we met at the hotel. Once in the dark room, we all started to kiss and grope. And that sun dress was off faster than even I had imagined. The desire on her face as we started to play - just she and I - still sits in my memory. The fun of all of us - playing together - hands on each other - a pile of bodies - the ebb and flow as we made each other the center of attention. Our time together was longer than any of us had imagined. Exhausted from play, I fell asleep as the others curled up next to me. Then G and she started to play - and things begin all over again.
It was the start of fun. Fun that ended months later - misunderstands and all forcing the end.
And even though she and I had gotten together a few months ago, we needed to talk some more.
So we met at the same pub. The same one we met at all those months ago. We talked. We enjoyed each other's company.
When she had suggested the location earlier in the day on Twitter, she used the word "rekindle". I liked that word. Rekindle.
It's funny how time has changed some things but not others.
There is definitely chemistry between us still.
Can't wait to continue to rekindle things.
We had been chatting and talking and emailing off and on for a couple of weeks before we met. The chemistry between the three of us seemed to be there, and we were finally going to see if it would hold in person.
It was one of the rare warm summer weeks in Portland. 100 degrees for several days. G had been joking with her that maybe he would get me in a sun dress since it was warm. I decided it was a good choice given the weather - and the situation - meeting a potential playmate.
We arrived at the pub we had suggested. She was sitting outside at a table in the shade having arrived before us. As we walked up, I could sense her excitement and nervousness. Comes with the territory really - would the chemistry hold in person? Are we the people the other expected? The excitement and the trepidation - the hope it works and doesn't result in disappointment.
I slide onto the bench beside her while G sat across from us. We ordered our drinks and started talking. The stories and the conversation just flowed. The chemistry was there. She joked he had won and got me in a sun dress. I told her I had worn it for her, not him. She had asked nicely. The flirting was good, but I could tell she was still nervous - still wondering if this was going to happen.
She wondered until, after telling a story, I put my hand on her leg instead of back on the table - and started stroking it as I continued to talk.
Her eyes lit up - her smile - that killer smile she has - seemed to light up her face more than it had before. And that nervousness that was underlying seemed to fade away.
While we normally have a "no play on the first date" rule, we decided to take advantage of our overnight babysitter. We got a room - figuring if things worked out we would be prepared. If not, G and I would get to sleep in air conditioning.
We invited her to join us. And we met at the hotel. Once in the dark room, we all started to kiss and grope. And that sun dress was off faster than even I had imagined. The desire on her face as we started to play - just she and I - still sits in my memory. The fun of all of us - playing together - hands on each other - a pile of bodies - the ebb and flow as we made each other the center of attention. Our time together was longer than any of us had imagined. Exhausted from play, I fell asleep as the others curled up next to me. Then G and she started to play - and things begin all over again.
It was the start of fun. Fun that ended months later - misunderstands and all forcing the end.
And even though she and I had gotten together a few months ago, we needed to talk some more.
So we met at the same pub. The same one we met at all those months ago. We talked. We enjoyed each other's company.
When she had suggested the location earlier in the day on Twitter, she used the word "rekindle". I liked that word. Rekindle.
It's funny how time has changed some things but not others.
There is definitely chemistry between us still.
Can't wait to continue to rekindle things.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
POD - Photos from the Past Two Days
Girl Geeks
My daughters DJ is a geek.
While some of you may be saying "what a shock" given I am a technology geek married to a comic book geek, I think this is more important that some people may realize.
DJ loves being a geek.
Call her science geek. Her response will likely be "so what? I like science. if that makes me a geek, then good"
I joked with her the other day that I was going to take away her Green Lantern comics when she, in the middle of the previews, freaked out at the trailer for the Green Lantern movie. I think she talked more about the trailer than she did the actual movie.
She loves math. She loves science. She loves art. She loves reading. She's currently obsessed with mythology. She reads comics. She loves to bake. And she's a geek. She loves it.
Why is this revelation important, you may ask.
In the tech world, there has been this ongoing debate about the number of women in technology. One side goes on and on about the fact that women are not entering the tech field. That if you look at the innovation over the past 20 years, there are few women in that list. This side further goes on to say that there needs to be more done to get women into those roles.
The other side is asking "so what". They will actually go on and on explaining why women are simply not cut out to be these "geeks". That innovation is not a female thing - men are more equipped for it, thus the inequity.
On side screams one way, the other side screams the other. And last week, Violet Blu asked why. Why is it important for women to be in those innovative roles? What is the point? What will happen if there are more women? Everyone is screaming foul, but no one is talking about the downside. So, she asked that question.
For me, it has less to do about the women and more to do about the girls. Until someone opened up that door for me when I was in high school, I never would have pursued the technology field. I was going to go after something considered more acceptable. I was going to do it not because I thought it was all that was offered me, but because I did not know there were options for me - a girl who understood computers, wrote programs for friends in the programming class, did my friends computers homework (for a class I never took), and was good at math and science.
If you had asked me at 16 if I wanted to be an engineer, I would have thought trains were involved. Why? I was in rural Iowa where the men teaching those classes were not giving the lingo or the options to the women. And the women teaching? They were teaching English or Spanish or Home Ec. No women teaching science, math, social studies or any of the positions where girls who were good in those subject would be given guidance. If you were good in math, then you made a good tutor. That was it.
Junior year, that all changed when we got a woman math teacher. She turned things upside down at the school too because - shock - she was also a feminist. She encouraged the girls. She gave them an introduction to what they could do in the world with their skills. She took us to conferences - and she pushed hard. She knew anyone going down those paths would be faced with challenges - so she never coddled us. And she never let us hide our intelligence from anyone.
As a result, of the 5 girls in her advanced math classes (the classes none of the men could teach by the way) four of us went into fields of technology. I think I am the only one who did not get an advanced degree. All are successful, happy, and look back at the teacher as a role model.
And that is why girls need women in technology fields - they need role models. They need people to look up to and see their options. But they need people closer to the girls to nurture their interests. They need people to show them options - to let them be geeks - and show them that being a geek is cool.
For me, the issue is not about women being in lead innovators in technology. I think that would be cool, but it isn't what I would strive for.
I think it is more important that we show the girls their options. And the people they will believe more than anyone, are the ones who have been there. Showing they have options will make sure the girls who chose to go that direction do so not because they are bucking the system, but because they actually had it as an option.
And the women who embrace their geekiness and show it's okay - that being a geek doesn't mean you will die alone, you can't be creative, you can't be girly. It just means you are good at something that is geeky. Nothing more.
And that's why I smile when DJ declares she is a geek.
She owns it.
She embraces it.
I can think of worse things to be.
I just love that fact the boys are in awe of it. Now that is one thing that seems to be have changed. Much to G's dismay.
While some of you may be saying "what a shock" given I am a technology geek married to a comic book geek, I think this is more important that some people may realize.
DJ loves being a geek.
Call her science geek. Her response will likely be "so what? I like science. if that makes me a geek, then good"
I joked with her the other day that I was going to take away her Green Lantern comics when she, in the middle of the previews, freaked out at the trailer for the Green Lantern movie. I think she talked more about the trailer than she did the actual movie.
She loves math. She loves science. She loves art. She loves reading. She's currently obsessed with mythology. She reads comics. She loves to bake. And she's a geek. She loves it.
Why is this revelation important, you may ask.
In the tech world, there has been this ongoing debate about the number of women in technology. One side goes on and on about the fact that women are not entering the tech field. That if you look at the innovation over the past 20 years, there are few women in that list. This side further goes on to say that there needs to be more done to get women into those roles.
The other side is asking "so what". They will actually go on and on explaining why women are simply not cut out to be these "geeks". That innovation is not a female thing - men are more equipped for it, thus the inequity.
On side screams one way, the other side screams the other. And last week, Violet Blu asked why. Why is it important for women to be in those innovative roles? What is the point? What will happen if there are more women? Everyone is screaming foul, but no one is talking about the downside. So, she asked that question.
For me, it has less to do about the women and more to do about the girls. Until someone opened up that door for me when I was in high school, I never would have pursued the technology field. I was going to go after something considered more acceptable. I was going to do it not because I thought it was all that was offered me, but because I did not know there were options for me - a girl who understood computers, wrote programs for friends in the programming class, did my friends computers homework (for a class I never took), and was good at math and science.
If you had asked me at 16 if I wanted to be an engineer, I would have thought trains were involved. Why? I was in rural Iowa where the men teaching those classes were not giving the lingo or the options to the women. And the women teaching? They were teaching English or Spanish or Home Ec. No women teaching science, math, social studies or any of the positions where girls who were good in those subject would be given guidance. If you were good in math, then you made a good tutor. That was it.
Junior year, that all changed when we got a woman math teacher. She turned things upside down at the school too because - shock - she was also a feminist. She encouraged the girls. She gave them an introduction to what they could do in the world with their skills. She took us to conferences - and she pushed hard. She knew anyone going down those paths would be faced with challenges - so she never coddled us. And she never let us hide our intelligence from anyone.
As a result, of the 5 girls in her advanced math classes (the classes none of the men could teach by the way) four of us went into fields of technology. I think I am the only one who did not get an advanced degree. All are successful, happy, and look back at the teacher as a role model.
And that is why girls need women in technology fields - they need role models. They need people to look up to and see their options. But they need people closer to the girls to nurture their interests. They need people to show them options - to let them be geeks - and show them that being a geek is cool.
For me, the issue is not about women being in lead innovators in technology. I think that would be cool, but it isn't what I would strive for.
I think it is more important that we show the girls their options. And the people they will believe more than anyone, are the ones who have been there. Showing they have options will make sure the girls who chose to go that direction do so not because they are bucking the system, but because they actually had it as an option.
And the women who embrace their geekiness and show it's okay - that being a geek doesn't mean you will die alone, you can't be creative, you can't be girly. It just means you are good at something that is geeky. Nothing more.
And that's why I smile when DJ declares she is a geek.
She owns it.
She embraces it.
I can think of worse things to be.
I just love that fact the boys are in awe of it. Now that is one thing that seems to be have changed. Much to G's dismay.
Monday, December 27, 2010
Too Much Thinking...
My range of emotions recently have been driving me crazy. Usually that happens when my rationalization of a situation conflicts with the emotion I'm feeling. It's very funny how that conflict within me can create more.
Like I've been feeling rather melancholy after I realized the other day that a friend I'm used to having at least a weekly exchange with has been MIA for almost two weeks. The quick exchanges we usually have, have been even more abbreviated than usual - which is interesting given how I didn't think they could. Realizing that made me melancholy because I miss him. It was like this realization made me miss him even more than I had. I'm not ready to lose him in my life. The thought does not sit well with me.
The logical side of me knows that he's busy. The holidays and a relationship he is trying to nurture never makes it easy to find time for anything. I get that. My brain knows that. I just wish it would tell my heart that.
Or another friend who has had a weird relationship with G since he told her about his pet virus. I'm a bit disappointed in her reaction. How her words don't match her actions. How her husband is fine to play with me, but she has all but severed all ties with him despite her promise that would not happen. Seeing how frustrated it has made him - seeing how it continues to annoy him as she pops in and out and continues her flightiness in terms of simple friendship without play bugs the hell out of me.
My head reminds me that she is probably freaked out yet. I get that more than she could ever know. I know she's a busy lady - extremely busy - so her presence doesn't necessarily mean anything. Just still bugs me.
Or the conversation with my mom where she rants at me about how no one from her family ever calls or emails or talks to her unless they need something - and how frustrating it is. How ironic I find that they do the same thing to me - yet it apparently is only bad if it happens to her. How annoying it is to not have her ask about us, but instead tells me all about my niece and how cute it is when she throws a temper tantrum. And I get to hear about all 20 times it happens. How when I try to actually talk to her about some of the crap that is brewing with my bro, she blows me off and changes that subject.
My head knows she isn't doing it on purpose. She is simply excited she gets to see a grandkid at that age. I know she probably does that to my siblings. I know that is how she is - with everyone. I know she never wants anyone to feel left out. I know she wants our family to be close - and she feels closest with me and G because we don't judge she and my dad for their beliefs. My head knows that - then it reminds me too that I'm lucky she's still around. I remember my friend whose mother just died a few days ago - unexpectedly. I remember how my dad was my age when he lost his mom. I try to have perspective. Some days it just works better than others.
And in between all of that crap, I remember the fun with friends - both the vanilla friends and the vanilla-fudge-swirl friends. I remember how great it is talking to my dad about my Jeep - how excited he sounds to come up and take a ride in it. How funny it is watching Indigo with her iPod on and headphones on - singing along to the song as though no one can hear. How DJ will go on and on and on about the weather patterns she is discovery with her weather station.
I find it funny how the good emotions - that stuff just is accepted by me. It is good stuff that gets filed away easily and recalled not so easily sometimes.
The not so good stuff - the the other emotions - I don't like them so I don't accept them. I try to rationalize, but it rarely works. Seems to just give them more time to stew inside my head.
I think I'd like some time where the stewing has stopped - some time where I can just be.
No more thinking.
Unless it's happy thoughts.
Like I've been feeling rather melancholy after I realized the other day that a friend I'm used to having at least a weekly exchange with has been MIA for almost two weeks. The quick exchanges we usually have, have been even more abbreviated than usual - which is interesting given how I didn't think they could. Realizing that made me melancholy because I miss him. It was like this realization made me miss him even more than I had. I'm not ready to lose him in my life. The thought does not sit well with me.
The logical side of me knows that he's busy. The holidays and a relationship he is trying to nurture never makes it easy to find time for anything. I get that. My brain knows that. I just wish it would tell my heart that.
Or another friend who has had a weird relationship with G since he told her about his pet virus. I'm a bit disappointed in her reaction. How her words don't match her actions. How her husband is fine to play with me, but she has all but severed all ties with him despite her promise that would not happen. Seeing how frustrated it has made him - seeing how it continues to annoy him as she pops in and out and continues her flightiness in terms of simple friendship without play bugs the hell out of me.
My head reminds me that she is probably freaked out yet. I get that more than she could ever know. I know she's a busy lady - extremely busy - so her presence doesn't necessarily mean anything. Just still bugs me.
Or the conversation with my mom where she rants at me about how no one from her family ever calls or emails or talks to her unless they need something - and how frustrating it is. How ironic I find that they do the same thing to me - yet it apparently is only bad if it happens to her. How annoying it is to not have her ask about us, but instead tells me all about my niece and how cute it is when she throws a temper tantrum. And I get to hear about all 20 times it happens. How when I try to actually talk to her about some of the crap that is brewing with my bro, she blows me off and changes that subject.
My head knows she isn't doing it on purpose. She is simply excited she gets to see a grandkid at that age. I know she probably does that to my siblings. I know that is how she is - with everyone. I know she never wants anyone to feel left out. I know she wants our family to be close - and she feels closest with me and G because we don't judge she and my dad for their beliefs. My head knows that - then it reminds me too that I'm lucky she's still around. I remember my friend whose mother just died a few days ago - unexpectedly. I remember how my dad was my age when he lost his mom. I try to have perspective. Some days it just works better than others.
And in between all of that crap, I remember the fun with friends - both the vanilla friends and the vanilla-fudge-swirl friends. I remember how great it is talking to my dad about my Jeep - how excited he sounds to come up and take a ride in it. How funny it is watching Indigo with her iPod on and headphones on - singing along to the song as though no one can hear. How DJ will go on and on and on about the weather patterns she is discovery with her weather station.
I find it funny how the good emotions - that stuff just is accepted by me. It is good stuff that gets filed away easily and recalled not so easily sometimes.
The not so good stuff - the the other emotions - I don't like them so I don't accept them. I try to rationalize, but it rarely works. Seems to just give them more time to stew inside my head.
I think I'd like some time where the stewing has stopped - some time where I can just be.
No more thinking.
Unless it's happy thoughts.
Sunday, December 26, 2010
POD - The Cedar Creek Grist Mill
Before I get to the mill, I have to share a pic from yesterday. Kind of represents yesterday well:
Ok, so today, I dragged the family out to Cedar Creek Grist Mill - a mill along the Cedar Creek near Woodland, WA. It was build in 1876, and restored in the mid-80s.
I was looking to see if there was a photography group that struck my fancy when I discovered a list of some sites a couple of the groups had visited. This was one of the places on several of the lists. The only downside? The mill was closed, so we couldn't see it working. Oh, well - next time.
Ok, so today, I dragged the family out to Cedar Creek Grist Mill - a mill along the Cedar Creek near Woodland, WA. It was build in 1876, and restored in the mid-80s.
I was looking to see if there was a photography group that struck my fancy when I discovered a list of some sites a couple of the groups had visited. This was one of the places on several of the lists. The only downside? The mill was closed, so we couldn't see it working. Oh, well - next time.
Here are a few pics I took on the way home.
There are a few more on my SmugMug site - click the camera on the upper right of this page.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Happy Christmas
Remember, if Christmas isn't found in your heart, you won't find it under a tree
~ Charotte Carpente
I think that's what many people and their families forget this time of year. They forget that it isn't about the gifts. It isn't about the tree, the cards, the cookies. It is about giving what is in your heart. It is about sharing what is in there. It's about giving what is in there more than it is about giving gifts.
So during this time, I can't help but reflect on those that are in my life. How there are no material gifts I can give them to truly show them what is in my heart about them. All I can do is say it.
To G, I love you with all of my heart. I cannot imagine anyone else I would rather take this journey through life with. You make me smile with how much though you put into everything you do for me. I love you. (And won't hold the fact you leave your comics all over against you.) :)
To my friends, I thank you for being a part of my life. You have no idea how much having you in my life makes me happy. Each of you gives me something. I can only hope to return the same to you. I hope you get what you want for Christmas. In my opinion, you've all been good......or maybe, for some of you, it is better to say " you have earned good gifts". I mean, some of my friends are bad and naughty - and only in the best ways possible.
To my readers, I hope you all have a wonderful day whether it be with friends or family. May you get what you wish for.
And to everyone, may you have peace in your heart and your world today.
Happy Christmas!
xoxo
~Emmy
Friday, December 24, 2010
Week Wrap-Up and Other Stuff
Work work work....that has been my week .... except for today.
I am all for hard work.
I am not all for people who fuck around, end up having to work a 12 hr day, then bitch about having to work "so hard". Tuesday, the consultants and I looked at each other and decided it was out of our hands. They know what they need to do. They are either going to do it or not do it. Nothing we can do.
While this realization was freeing, it didn't mean less work for us.
Plus, the male consultant and I had banter we had to have.
Especially after the zipper busted on his pants.
I don't know what he's going to do when he's not working in the same office as I am. I clearly have his respect given how he is with me. Plus, I entertain him. Then again, he gives me plenty of material.
For example, he told me a few weeks ago that he has been lectured to install confidence in the customers - not make them question his skills. He is a good technical guy - his mouth just gets him into trouble. Like yelling at his computer to "just fucking work damn it!! while trying to troubleshoot a problem on the system.
Every time he starts doing something like that, I always say "as a client, I'm not feeling confident in your abilities. I think I need to talk to your PM." Let's just say, it degenerates from them.
Plus, he busted his zipper, then waited until it was dark and told me he had to take small steps so he didn't show anyone anything. I mean, how can you just leave that there without comment??
And I still say "eeeww" to the images someone gave me on that one......makes me squirm and not in a good way.
At home, G and the girls have been making cookies and egg nog. Today they delivered their Christmas cheer. The jedi gingerbread cookies when decorated looked like Muppet Babies on Crack. I still think they reminded me of Space Balls characters.
The other night at the Zoo Lights, I had some fun playing with bokeh. But then again - that's easy when there are eight million lights everywhere. I wish I had more time.
Have I mentioned that my Jeep is running??? Yes, I'm excited. And I think I owe the one who helped get her to that state more thanks.
I have decided that this would make for a cool replacement for a real Christmas tree, in the future.
Tonight, don't forget about tracking Santa,
Finally, go read this post. It's entitled How Kenny Logins Ruined Christmas. Fucking Hilarious!!
Happy Christmas Eve to all of you!!
I am all for hard work.
I am not all for people who fuck around, end up having to work a 12 hr day, then bitch about having to work "so hard". Tuesday, the consultants and I looked at each other and decided it was out of our hands. They know what they need to do. They are either going to do it or not do it. Nothing we can do.
While this realization was freeing, it didn't mean less work for us.
Plus, the male consultant and I had banter we had to have.
Especially after the zipper busted on his pants.
I don't know what he's going to do when he's not working in the same office as I am. I clearly have his respect given how he is with me. Plus, I entertain him. Then again, he gives me plenty of material.
For example, he told me a few weeks ago that he has been lectured to install confidence in the customers - not make them question his skills. He is a good technical guy - his mouth just gets him into trouble. Like yelling at his computer to "just fucking work damn it!! while trying to troubleshoot a problem on the system.
Every time he starts doing something like that, I always say "as a client, I'm not feeling confident in your abilities. I think I need to talk to your PM." Let's just say, it degenerates from them.
Plus, he busted his zipper, then waited until it was dark and told me he had to take small steps so he didn't show anyone anything. I mean, how can you just leave that there without comment??
And I still say "eeeww" to the images someone gave me on that one......makes me squirm and not in a good way.
At home, G and the girls have been making cookies and egg nog. Today they delivered their Christmas cheer. The jedi gingerbread cookies when decorated looked like Muppet Babies on Crack. I still think they reminded me of Space Balls characters.
The other night at the Zoo Lights, I had some fun playing with bokeh. But then again - that's easy when there are eight million lights everywhere. I wish I had more time.
Have I mentioned that my Jeep is running??? Yes, I'm excited. And I think I owe the one who helped get her to that state more thanks.
I have decided that this would make for a cool replacement for a real Christmas tree, in the future.
click here for the instructions.
Tonight, don't forget about tracking Santa,
Finally, go read this post. It's entitled How Kenny Logins Ruined Christmas. Fucking Hilarious!!
Happy Christmas Eve to all of you!!
Thursday, December 23, 2010
POD - Lights
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
HNT - Three Wishes
This is always so hard for me because I feel I have gotten to know other bloggers - so to find someone that I don't know well is getting harder each year. But, I like this them, so here goes.
Lilly
For you, I wish for you to get the magic pill. The one the solves your health woes without negating your sex drive, halting your metabolism, messing with your sleep, screwing with your muse, or giving you other not-so-fun side effects. I know you have had your share of medicine woe this year. I know from your Twitter feed and blog it has been frustrating at times. Here's to getting it sorted out, so you don't have to fight with it anymore.
Minority Report
My wish for you is quite simple - your libido.
May you find it and the cause of the other issues.
While sex is not the solution to everything, I would love it if you did not have to think about it and why it isn't where you want it to be.
(sorry - no pictures - because, well, I don't know what it looks like.)
And, because I feel like cheating a bit.....he doesn't participate, but he comments.....Wayward Rider - might you find a way to break your monotony. May you find a local group to connect with. May you find, what you are looking for.
And finally - because my first wish was actually 'more wishes' -
Curvaceous Dee
To her, I wish a whole set of new parasols. It's summer where she is, and I suspect having more parasols will give her readers more of those gorgeous parasol pictures. Plus, you can never have too much protection from the sun.
Lilly
Minority Report
My wish for you is quite simple - your libido.
May you find it and the cause of the other issues.
While sex is not the solution to everything, I would love it if you did not have to think about it and why it isn't where you want it to be.
(sorry - no pictures - because, well, I don't know what it looks like.)
And, because I feel like cheating a bit.....he doesn't participate, but he comments.....Wayward Rider - might you find a way to break your monotony. May you find a local group to connect with. May you find, what you are looking for.
And finally - because my first wish was actually 'more wishes' -
Curvaceous Dee
To her, I wish a whole set of new parasols. It's summer where she is, and I suspect having more parasols will give her readers more of those gorgeous parasol pictures. Plus, you can never have too much protection from the sun.
You Know It Was Good When....
You know a weekend has been good when the following happens:
You are getting dressed the next day and putting on the necklace you like to wear when you are wearing a particular shirt. The pendant hits about collar bone level. And when it shifts, you realize you should look in the mirror to make sure that bruise you feel on your collar bone isn't visible. The bruise you got when he put his hand around your neck, then started to bite and tug your nipple hard with his teeth.
You brush your hair while getting ready for work, when you hit a sore spot. A spot, you quickly remember, is where you grabbed your hair close and pulled your head back to kiss you hard.
You put your hands on your keyboard at work and start typing when you feel something odd. A quick flip of your hand reveals why it isn't feeling right today. There is a thumb-sized bruise on the inside of your wrist - right where it rests on the keyboard. A bruise that is from the wrestling match ended in him grabbing your wrists and pinning them down.
Later, while walking by the conference room table, your leg bumps a chair. "Ok, I felt that more than I should have" is your realization. Later, when you can, you discover it is because of the bruise on the outside of your thigh - the bruise from the bite - made when he was biting his way up your leg from your foot to your hip.
As you rest your arm on the chair's arm rests in a meeting, you find the other bruise on the other wrist - this one is definitely not from the wrestling match itself. It's from the rope he had tied around your wrists to keep you in place.
Back at your desk, you realize how cold it is when your nipples get erect and start rubbing on the inside of your bra. Reminding you of all of the biting, sucking, squeezing, pinching, and abuse, in general, he put them through. Then you squirm a bit in your chair remembering how good it all felt as he did it.
Later, you come home - and are greeted by a child who gives you a big hug. You feel a bruise on your back. And as you walk away to change out of work clothes, your mind starts shuffling through the events of the weekend trying to sort out how that would have happend.
And when you hit upon the why, you can't help but smile.
The stress of the day melts away.
And the memories of a wonderful weekend replace them.
You are getting dressed the next day and putting on the necklace you like to wear when you are wearing a particular shirt. The pendant hits about collar bone level. And when it shifts, you realize you should look in the mirror to make sure that bruise you feel on your collar bone isn't visible. The bruise you got when he put his hand around your neck, then started to bite and tug your nipple hard with his teeth.
You brush your hair while getting ready for work, when you hit a sore spot. A spot, you quickly remember, is where you grabbed your hair close and pulled your head back to kiss you hard.
You put your hands on your keyboard at work and start typing when you feel something odd. A quick flip of your hand reveals why it isn't feeling right today. There is a thumb-sized bruise on the inside of your wrist - right where it rests on the keyboard. A bruise that is from the wrestling match ended in him grabbing your wrists and pinning them down.
Later, while walking by the conference room table, your leg bumps a chair. "Ok, I felt that more than I should have" is your realization. Later, when you can, you discover it is because of the bruise on the outside of your thigh - the bruise from the bite - made when he was biting his way up your leg from your foot to your hip.
As you rest your arm on the chair's arm rests in a meeting, you find the other bruise on the other wrist - this one is definitely not from the wrestling match itself. It's from the rope he had tied around your wrists to keep you in place.
Back at your desk, you realize how cold it is when your nipples get erect and start rubbing on the inside of your bra. Reminding you of all of the biting, sucking, squeezing, pinching, and abuse, in general, he put them through. Then you squirm a bit in your chair remembering how good it all felt as he did it.
Later, you come home - and are greeted by a child who gives you a big hug. You feel a bruise on your back. And as you walk away to change out of work clothes, your mind starts shuffling through the events of the weekend trying to sort out how that would have happend.
And when you hit upon the why, you can't help but smile.
The stress of the day melts away.
And the memories of a wonderful weekend replace them.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
POD - Tis the Season
Snow flakes hanging from the covered area in between a few buildings downtown.
The girls and G decided to make Jedi cookies for Christmas. Yoda, Princess Leia, Hans Solo, and Darth Vader. I have no idea. There are also some Jedi cookies with light sabers. I have no idea. It will be interesting.
Forgotten Rope
The ropes landed next to me on the bed.
"I forgot to get these out last time. We got caught up in other things. I won't let that happen again."
Then he tossed the cord and his pocket knife on the bed too.
"Oh, you brought that too, did you?" I said referring to the cord.
He laughed and asked if I really thought he would leave it behind, then reminded me how much of it he has to use up. He found the cord from some left over work he had done.
He made sure it was all within arms reach, then told me to scoot back so he could settle between my thighs and slide into my pussy. I had been wanting him there since he had gotten me off earlier - his tongue gently stroking my clit to an orgasm that surprised me. The fact he held my hips down as he did it is what sent me over the edge - realizing he was going to keep me there until I did cum.
And after I cum, he knew I wanted to be fucked. Instead, he pulled away to get his rope. Feeling him finally giving me what I wanted - or at least tease me with it was driving me crazy.
Once buried deep inside me, he grabbed a coil of rope and unwound it - finding the middle then sliding it under my back.
"I wasn't going to leave them unbound," he said as he set to work - wrapping one then the other with that soft rope, pulling it tight so that my breasts stood out - in perfect reach for his mouth. To test their sensitivity, he pulled one nipple into his mouth causing me to inhale sharply. He looked up at me with a smile in his eyes. Then did the same to the other.
"Sensitive?"
"Just a bit."
"I know what will fix that" then he reached the cord. He created a quick slip knot, sucked a nipple into his mouth making it nice and erect, then slid the knot over it - tightening it carefully. Once secure, he gave a quick tug. Seeing the reaction he wanted, he reached for his knife to cut the end.
"Don't cut yourself this time." I couldn't resist the smart ass comment given he cut himself last time and bled all over the place - creating an unexpected pause in our play as we cleaned up the mess and got him bandaged.
A quick tug of the cord reminded me quickly to never taunt a man holding the other end of the cord tied to my nipple. My response was part moan - part laugh as I said "that's what I get for being a smart ass". He laughed at me, then set forth to do the same to the other nipple.
And with a cord in each hand, he started fucking me hard - just like I had been wanting. The bound nipples were not what I had expected, but I didn't care. I was getting the fuck I had been craving. And he was getting to torture my nipples - in a way that turns him on to the point where he will cum instantly if he lost control.
I knew how much control I had over the situation. Just like I know if I put his hand on my neck, I knew taking the cords from him and pull them as he would like them pulled will make him cum fast. When I was ready for it, I did just that. I took them from his hands - pull them taut the way he had.
"Ready are you?"
"Yes."
"Then pull them as hard as you can take - then pull them harder."
I followed his instruction. As I pulled harder, his breathing increased. His thrusts were faster and harder, and we were both moaning aloud until he came.
Before he collapsed on top of me, he freed me from his rope. Carefully uncoiling them, kissing the rope marks on my breasts as he did. Then once free, we curled up, satiated, exhausted, and feeling we got the most of his rope.
"I forgot to get these out last time. We got caught up in other things. I won't let that happen again."
Then he tossed the cord and his pocket knife on the bed too.
"Oh, you brought that too, did you?" I said referring to the cord.
He laughed and asked if I really thought he would leave it behind, then reminded me how much of it he has to use up. He found the cord from some left over work he had done.
He made sure it was all within arms reach, then told me to scoot back so he could settle between my thighs and slide into my pussy. I had been wanting him there since he had gotten me off earlier - his tongue gently stroking my clit to an orgasm that surprised me. The fact he held my hips down as he did it is what sent me over the edge - realizing he was going to keep me there until I did cum.
And after I cum, he knew I wanted to be fucked. Instead, he pulled away to get his rope. Feeling him finally giving me what I wanted - or at least tease me with it was driving me crazy.
Once buried deep inside me, he grabbed a coil of rope and unwound it - finding the middle then sliding it under my back.
"I wasn't going to leave them unbound," he said as he set to work - wrapping one then the other with that soft rope, pulling it tight so that my breasts stood out - in perfect reach for his mouth. To test their sensitivity, he pulled one nipple into his mouth causing me to inhale sharply. He looked up at me with a smile in his eyes. Then did the same to the other.
"Sensitive?"
"Just a bit."
"I know what will fix that" then he reached the cord. He created a quick slip knot, sucked a nipple into his mouth making it nice and erect, then slid the knot over it - tightening it carefully. Once secure, he gave a quick tug. Seeing the reaction he wanted, he reached for his knife to cut the end.
"Don't cut yourself this time." I couldn't resist the smart ass comment given he cut himself last time and bled all over the place - creating an unexpected pause in our play as we cleaned up the mess and got him bandaged.
A quick tug of the cord reminded me quickly to never taunt a man holding the other end of the cord tied to my nipple. My response was part moan - part laugh as I said "that's what I get for being a smart ass". He laughed at me, then set forth to do the same to the other nipple.
And with a cord in each hand, he started fucking me hard - just like I had been wanting. The bound nipples were not what I had expected, but I didn't care. I was getting the fuck I had been craving. And he was getting to torture my nipples - in a way that turns him on to the point where he will cum instantly if he lost control.
I knew how much control I had over the situation. Just like I know if I put his hand on my neck, I knew taking the cords from him and pull them as he would like them pulled will make him cum fast. When I was ready for it, I did just that. I took them from his hands - pull them taut the way he had.
"Ready are you?"
"Yes."
"Then pull them as hard as you can take - then pull them harder."
I followed his instruction. As I pulled harder, his breathing increased. His thrusts were faster and harder, and we were both moaning aloud until he came.
Before he collapsed on top of me, he freed me from his rope. Carefully uncoiling them, kissing the rope marks on my breasts as he did. Then once free, we curled up, satiated, exhausted, and feeling we got the most of his rope.
Monday, December 20, 2010
POD - Weekend and Monday Pics
drips
droplets
Our yellow lab in front of our tree
the chicken's Christmas card - as interpreted by DJ.
Sparkle vomiting fairy - see Twitter feed earlier. DJ decided that's what fairy's do when they fly by Christmas trees - they vomit sparkles. Lucky angel?
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Mumblings of a MIA Blogger
MIA - it seems to be a good way to describe me recently. I'm behind in my pictures. I'm not posting my usual stuff at my usual times. I'm not making my rounds on other blogs. There are many explanations.
Work is definitely one of them. We are two weeks away from go-live. For all of you business types, you'll realized that is only 8 business days due to the holidays. It has been a fast and furious time around the project. Last week, the project team was on the verge of imploding as all of the key players started throwing people under the bus - people they really needed in order to be successful. The behavior got the attention of the HR VP who took action to get the team some relief without sacrificing the project. Good stuff, right? Wrong. The same people tossing others under buses are also martyrs. They still worked the same schedule. They still complained. And I realized it was time to advice people to stop trying to help them. Nothing was going to help. It makes for a long, LONG week.
The pre-holiday craziness at home has been in full swing as well. Lots of activities, last minute field trips, final TKD practices, etc. Too much to do, too little time. Add that to work stress, and it has not been fun.
Then there are the gifts - the final gifts to make before the holidays. What have I been doing with my free- time? Knitting a hat, than in the end is best suited for someone else. I know the person I made it for will not wear and appreciate it. So, while it was a cool project, it did not meet the objectives. Oh, well. At least I'm starting to watch a cool show on Netflix - Eureka. TL - go look it up - you'll like it, trust me.
This weekend, we had house guests - AND we were sans children too. It was a great time. A GREAT time. I have enjoyed how this weekend has gone very much. I don't think I've laughed this much in a while. I needed that time to recharge - and find my happy place. While it was bumpy a time or two, I think it worked out well. A good time was had by all. Yeah, definitely a good time was had by all.
My apologies for the, uhm, mystery around the weekend. It was a fun - "that kind" of a weekend. But our friends are not blog fodder. There may be a few things I write about - but there will be no blow-by-blow. Nope. Not with them.
Speaking of the weekend - Margaret LIVES!! My 1967 CJ5 Jeep runs and drive and actually sound pretty damn good given her age. What was the issue, you may ask? Someone closed the valve between the gas tank and the fuel line. Once open, she started up and ran. Good stuff.
A lot of people were surprised about the gift from G - of a Jeep. But, to them I have to say, it was a fabulous gift! Driving her around the block after we got her going was a riot. My friend was with me - teasing me at the fact I was having problems steering with the lack of power steering - laughing as we are happy to find out the breaks work. Sunday, we took it out for a drive - some place where we could drive without worrying about other cars and such - and we had quite the laugh as we discovered things like - no matter how I try, I cannot downshift into first. Or, where first gear is on most vehicles - well, that's reverse. Oops. It was SO much fun. Now I can't wait to take her other places - after I get some air in the tires. Greatest.Gift.Ever!
G brought back a box of old photos and newspaper clippings from his trip to San Diego. Each trip, he steals a bit more out of the basement. Last time it was great old movies. This time it was some amazing photos. And the newspaper clippings. His grandfather, in one, is being interviewed for having met Ho Chi Min. Yes, you read that correctly. It has been amazing going through this little box. Not enough of this stuff is ever saved, in my opinion.
Indigo's guinea pig died Friday. It was quite sad actually. Not having ever been a guinea pig fan, I was made into one upon getting her. While I would work in the flower beds, she would run around the grass eating the clover and dandelions. We would feed her carrot tops and apple cores. She starred in a few of DJ and Indigo's movies. Indigo was broken up about it - totally understandable. Funeral Services will be held sometimes in the next two days.
In other news, I'm in the finals for our Fantasy Football league. It comes down to G and me. I will beat him soundly, I am sure. I mean, I am the family fantasy football league champion for a reason.
So that's what I've been doing. And a bit of who.
My Christmas wish? Slow down so I can smell the roses already.
Oh well, how does the phrase go? I'll sleep when I'm dead?
Work is definitely one of them. We are two weeks away from go-live. For all of you business types, you'll realized that is only 8 business days due to the holidays. It has been a fast and furious time around the project. Last week, the project team was on the verge of imploding as all of the key players started throwing people under the bus - people they really needed in order to be successful. The behavior got the attention of the HR VP who took action to get the team some relief without sacrificing the project. Good stuff, right? Wrong. The same people tossing others under buses are also martyrs. They still worked the same schedule. They still complained. And I realized it was time to advice people to stop trying to help them. Nothing was going to help. It makes for a long, LONG week.
The pre-holiday craziness at home has been in full swing as well. Lots of activities, last minute field trips, final TKD practices, etc. Too much to do, too little time. Add that to work stress, and it has not been fun.
Then there are the gifts - the final gifts to make before the holidays. What have I been doing with my free- time? Knitting a hat, than in the end is best suited for someone else. I know the person I made it for will not wear and appreciate it. So, while it was a cool project, it did not meet the objectives. Oh, well. At least I'm starting to watch a cool show on Netflix - Eureka. TL - go look it up - you'll like it, trust me.
This weekend, we had house guests - AND we were sans children too. It was a great time. A GREAT time. I have enjoyed how this weekend has gone very much. I don't think I've laughed this much in a while. I needed that time to recharge - and find my happy place. While it was bumpy a time or two, I think it worked out well. A good time was had by all. Yeah, definitely a good time was had by all.
My apologies for the, uhm, mystery around the weekend. It was a fun - "that kind" of a weekend. But our friends are not blog fodder. There may be a few things I write about - but there will be no blow-by-blow. Nope. Not with them.
Speaking of the weekend - Margaret LIVES!! My 1967 CJ5 Jeep runs and drive and actually sound pretty damn good given her age. What was the issue, you may ask? Someone closed the valve between the gas tank and the fuel line. Once open, she started up and ran. Good stuff.
A lot of people were surprised about the gift from G - of a Jeep. But, to them I have to say, it was a fabulous gift! Driving her around the block after we got her going was a riot. My friend was with me - teasing me at the fact I was having problems steering with the lack of power steering - laughing as we are happy to find out the breaks work. Sunday, we took it out for a drive - some place where we could drive without worrying about other cars and such - and we had quite the laugh as we discovered things like - no matter how I try, I cannot downshift into first. Or, where first gear is on most vehicles - well, that's reverse. Oops. It was SO much fun. Now I can't wait to take her other places - after I get some air in the tires. Greatest.Gift.Ever!
G brought back a box of old photos and newspaper clippings from his trip to San Diego. Each trip, he steals a bit more out of the basement. Last time it was great old movies. This time it was some amazing photos. And the newspaper clippings. His grandfather, in one, is being interviewed for having met Ho Chi Min. Yes, you read that correctly. It has been amazing going through this little box. Not enough of this stuff is ever saved, in my opinion.
Indigo's guinea pig died Friday. It was quite sad actually. Not having ever been a guinea pig fan, I was made into one upon getting her. While I would work in the flower beds, she would run around the grass eating the clover and dandelions. We would feed her carrot tops and apple cores. She starred in a few of DJ and Indigo's movies. Indigo was broken up about it - totally understandable. Funeral Services will be held sometimes in the next two days.
In other news, I'm in the finals for our Fantasy Football league. It comes down to G and me. I will beat him soundly, I am sure. I mean, I am the family fantasy football league champion for a reason.
So that's what I've been doing. And a bit of who.
My Christmas wish? Slow down so I can smell the roses already.
Oh well, how does the phrase go? I'll sleep when I'm dead?
Friday, December 17, 2010
POD - Christmas Images
the Hotel Coronado ornament G and the girls brought back. the tree at the hotel this year is gorgeous according to the girls.
The top of some of the buildings in downtown have lights in the shape of trees. I liked how it was reflecting off of the buildings.
Look at the way the lights reflect off of the train tracks.
Random Acts of Coffee
"How far that little candle throws his beams! So shines a good deed in a naughty world."
~Shakespeare
For many, the latter part of that quotation is actually from the end of the 1971 version of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory after Charlie gave back the everlasting gobstopper. (Or maybe it is just me - the person who could probably recite the movie by heart.)
This line popped into head this morning after I went to pay for my coffee and scone and found the woman ahead of me had paid for mine and her's.
The craziness of my week at work - and at home - was destined to end with me being late for work this morning. The last day of school for 2010 is always fraught with stress from the kids and G as they get their shit together for parties and other out-of-the-ordinary school activities. Layer on top of it, the fact our kids were going to be spending the weekend with their grandparents starting after school - and it was a crazy morning despite our planning the night before. In the end, the usual ride I get to work from them was replaced by me rushing to drive myself into work.
I admit it. I was annoyed. I was frustrated that my inability to get to work early meant I would be at work later than I had planned. Also, I had been looking forward to a good cup of coffee which was not being replaced by whatever Starbucks is using that morning. Not a great way to start a Friday.
And while I was in the drive-thru line waiting for what I knew would be a mediocre cup of coffee, I was annoyed that the line today was not moving as swiftly as it usually does. Then the person in front of me and the employee were talking up a storm. "Come on, people! I'm late. I need my coffee." was my frustration.
When it got to be my turn (finally), I was polite but not overly chatty. I mean, I'm in a hurry, damnit!
"The woman in front of you paid for your coffee this morning, so you are all set."
It's funny how some things can stop you in your tracks when you think you are on the path to a crappy day. That the simple act of kindness can sort of slap you along side the head. A random person had no idea what kind of day I was having. She probably figured that she would be nice - tis the season and all of that. Funny how little things sometimes have a greater impact than what one might think. Spending $5 to brighten a stranger's day.
So, I paid it forward - and bought the coffee of the person behind me too. Maybe they need that same small event to cause them pause.Either way, I felt like when the universe gives you something, you should give it back.
Plus, sometimes the little things DO mean a lot more than you'd think.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
HNT - Tied Beneath the Tree
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Family and the Holidays:The Rant
So apparently, I found out last night, the family Christmas plans do not include me or my family. My brother called me last night while I was sitting in a bar waiting for a friend to arrive and told me this tidbit. "Don't take it personally", he said as I tried to get him to understand what my next few weeks were like. I have a project that goes live on 1/1/2011. So the next 11 days are hell. And with each explanation, he commented that it was no different from what everyone else is going through. Pushing my comments aside as though I don't matter.
Except I'm 3hrs away with a mountain pass between me and them. They are all within 20 minutes with bad weather between them.
I can't explain the hurt I felt. Clearly they viewed my reasons for struggling to find a time to visit as mere excuses. Then to layer on top of it the fact that I'm just depriving the kids of this Christmas with their uncles and grandparents. "You know, these are the real memories - its' not about us" he said. Like I said to him, he's acting as though we all live 5 minutes away from each other - like it was when we were growing up when our aunts, uncles and cousins lived that close. How fucking unfair is that.
But I'm the difficult one. I truly don't fucking care anymore.
Correction, I DO fucking care - it is why I'm not happy with it.
Layer on top of it the fact that they act as though I don't understand how it is to be without the entire family for Christmas. I - the person who has been out here since 1995 - been out here with G and without family until 2007 when the family moved out here. Yeah, I don't know how it is to be sans family for the holidays.
I'm starting to miss those stress free days.
So after hearing a lot about how I shouldn't worry about it. After hearing a lecture from my little bro about how I'm the one taking things personally. I find his comment to this quote I posted on my Facebook status:
"Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue." ~ Dilbert
His comment: "What are you doing for Christmas? I'm feeling like that statue."
Well fuck you, little brother.
Fuck you all.
I have lived out here for years without the support you all have. I have had to make do with friend. With people who truly care about us and what we are going through. That understand that sometimes things don't work out the way you hope they do.
'Cause clearly I am the statue where they are concerned.
And I have better things to be.
Merry Fucking Christmas.
Except I'm 3hrs away with a mountain pass between me and them. They are all within 20 minutes with bad weather between them.
I can't explain the hurt I felt. Clearly they viewed my reasons for struggling to find a time to visit as mere excuses. Then to layer on top of it the fact that I'm just depriving the kids of this Christmas with their uncles and grandparents. "You know, these are the real memories - its' not about us" he said. Like I said to him, he's acting as though we all live 5 minutes away from each other - like it was when we were growing up when our aunts, uncles and cousins lived that close. How fucking unfair is that.
But I'm the difficult one. I truly don't fucking care anymore.
Correction, I DO fucking care - it is why I'm not happy with it.
Layer on top of it the fact that they act as though I don't understand how it is to be without the entire family for Christmas. I - the person who has been out here since 1995 - been out here with G and without family until 2007 when the family moved out here. Yeah, I don't know how it is to be sans family for the holidays.
I'm starting to miss those stress free days.
So after hearing a lot about how I shouldn't worry about it. After hearing a lecture from my little bro about how I'm the one taking things personally. I find his comment to this quote I posted on my Facebook status:
"Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue." ~ Dilbert
His comment: "What are you doing for Christmas? I'm feeling like that statue."
Well fuck you, little brother.
Fuck you all.
I have lived out here for years without the support you all have. I have had to make do with friend. With people who truly care about us and what we are going through. That understand that sometimes things don't work out the way you hope they do.
'Cause clearly I am the statue where they are concerned.
And I have better things to be.
Merry Fucking Christmas.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Musical Memories
Music gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind,
flight to the imagination, and life to everything.
~ Plato
I read this quotation the other day, and it sort of stuck with me. Much like certain smells conjure memories for me, so does music.
Any song from this album, for example:
Or how the song Maggie May- Rod Stewart always reminds me of my dad singing it to my mom as they danced.
I remember a boyfriend and I making out while this song seemed to get the most airtime. Thank you Pretty Woman for popularizing Roxette. Hearing that song always transports me back to his car.
Fifties music like Rock Around the Clock reminded me of the summer between freshman and sophomore year of college. There was a 50s style band who was playing one night in the park. My parents and I met up with my uncle and his wife. My uncle was about 15 years older than my dad. When I was born, my dad was at basic training for the Army, so my mom and I lived with my uncle's family. He had three sons - and was thrilled to have a baby girl in the house. He and I always had a special bond because I think he claimed me as his own from back then. While at this concert, he and my aunt were dancing. The smile on their faces - his laugh - how much fun he was having - it is what I think of today when I hear certain songs. He died about 10 years ago now from cancer. But it was that night, the night he decided he should teach me to dance the way he taught my aunt when they first met - that is the night I will always remember when I hear this music.
The Violent Femmes will remind me of the skater guy my friend from high school was pursuing. She (and subsequently I) listened to Add It Up so many fucking times that I'm surprised I can still listen to it AND like it. We would drive around trying to figure out where he actually was (she was the stalker type). And I would try to convince her there was better things to do. The night she finally caught up with him, I got left in the living room as they did their thing. Had I been who I am now, I may have joined them. On second thought, she was rather insecure - so it would never have worked out unless she could have been seen as the good one. Yeah, it was probably best I sat in the living room getting annoyed. Plus, there was probably not enough room in there with her, him and his ego.
Or along the same theme, Broken Arrow another Rod Stewart hit was the song that was playing on the radio (the radio used to cover the noise) the first time G and I had sex in the dorm. Later for our reception, when asked what our song was, we decided it was the closest song we had to being our own. Thank God no one ever asked us why it was significant.
Cotten Eyed Joe will always remind me of going to The Field House in Iowa City in college my senior year with my friends. That song was incredibly popular, and I think they played it about 100 times a night. It was during one of the playings when a guy got a little too friendly with my best friend. She is someone who could kick your ass (college soccer player, so you didn't want to be on the receiving end of her kick), yet our other friend got a little too over protective. It was in that moment it become clear to most of the rest of us that our little closeted lesbian friend had more than friendship on her mind when it came to my best friend. Years later, we would realize that my best friend had no idea. And our closeted lesbian friend has barricaded herself in the closet sadly. I think she's still hoping for a divorce to finally allow her to pursue my best friend.
There are plenty of funny moments in the car. Hearing my kids singing along to The Ramones I Wanna Be Sedated. Or listening to Pink's Stupid Girls while Indigo belts out "I DON'T WANNA BE A STUPID GIRL" on the way home from preschool. Or listening to DJ sing every song on Morningwood's album.
Listening to New Wave music while TL and I laid on his couch - hearing his stories about going to this concert or that while he was in the Navy. There are certain bands that will remind me of that night.
Just like hearing No Doubt will remind me of the comments I received by TL and X about my comments about their inclusion on the local radio stations top 94 alternative bands of all time. Oh hell, I got hell from many in real life about those posts.
It's funny how any and all music can find its way into our memories - good or bad. I personally like to think of it as the soundtrack to my life.
God, I just sounded like this:
and if you haven't seen this movie, watch it!!!! High Fidelity. Hell, read the fucking book at least. Good stuff. Both are good. And I rarely say that about books and the movie.
Monday, December 13, 2010
POD - A Mess
Therapy
I have often had difficulties explaining exactly - outside the sexy, kinky stuff - why SG and I click. I realized this weekend why. He is simply unlike most of my other partners. We have a friendship between families like many other partners of mine. We have fun, kinky times together.
But when we get together, he has a presence that I need. Despite his day, despite the stresses of family life and kids, SG is present. He is only there for me. Nothing distracts him from me. He is present. He is there. There is no drama between us or brought in from outside. This both enables us to enjoy and savor the moment.
He takes care of me. No, I don't mean that he gets me off or something like that. He coddles me. He asks me how my day is - while he give me outlets for de-stressing. At the same time he is holding me down to paddle me, he is pushing my hair from my face and kissing me sweetly - tenderly.
I often feel he wraps me in a cocoon while we are together - using his body to keep me close and protected. The same hand that may find its way to my throat is the same one that strokes my skin as we curl up afterward.
And while he cannot always give me what I may need at the moment - a good hard spanking - a fuck of a certain kind - my time with him is like therapy. I come out a bit sore, feel better, and hungover from the time I had. Just like I would envision a good therapy session would be.
Overall, I enjoy the bubble our time together creates. It is like getting caught in a fantasy for a few hours (or a full day). A time I sometimes need after the stresses of the week.
But when we get together, he has a presence that I need. Despite his day, despite the stresses of family life and kids, SG is present. He is only there for me. Nothing distracts him from me. He is present. He is there. There is no drama between us or brought in from outside. This both enables us to enjoy and savor the moment.
He takes care of me. No, I don't mean that he gets me off or something like that. He coddles me. He asks me how my day is - while he give me outlets for de-stressing. At the same time he is holding me down to paddle me, he is pushing my hair from my face and kissing me sweetly - tenderly.
I often feel he wraps me in a cocoon while we are together - using his body to keep me close and protected. The same hand that may find its way to my throat is the same one that strokes my skin as we curl up afterward.
And while he cannot always give me what I may need at the moment - a good hard spanking - a fuck of a certain kind - my time with him is like therapy. I come out a bit sore, feel better, and hungover from the time I had. Just like I would envision a good therapy session would be.
Overall, I enjoy the bubble our time together creates. It is like getting caught in a fantasy for a few hours (or a full day). A time I sometimes need after the stresses of the week.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
POD - Images from the Weekend
The firetruck who came to put out the car fire that happened on the corner near my house. It was pretty spectacular.
The new color of red.
The hat I'm knitting. There is something about knitting in the round with five knitting needles.
The rope marks - the end result of the quickie that SG and I had on Sunday. I heart rope marks.
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