Welcome to Portlandia

Years ago, a local music store started a campaign to "Keep Portland Weird".  They sold bumper stickers and put up a sign outside on their building making that same plea. Keep it weird.  Don't let it go yuppie or DINK (double income no kids).  During this time, a section of Portland was being rebuilt into high rise condos and lofts that were going for high prices - with Starbucks and high end boutiques under them.  The threat to making Portland more "normal" was upon the city.  This was their response.

Keeping Portland weird means keeping the Last Thursday Arts Festival in the Alberta Neighborhood - a grassroots arts and music festival that is held the last Thursday each month - a response to the high end First Thursday held in the Pearl District where only true "artists" could participate.  Last Thursday is a street party with people riding around on Dr Seuss looking bikes and dressed in crazy clown suits versus business casual art collectors going to eat gourmet food while drinking expensive wine.  

It means keeping the independent stores more popular than the chains.  Powells Books occupies a city block and a half downtown - the largest independent book seller of new and used books.  The first place people go rather than going to a Borders, Barnes and Nobles or the like.  

It's a place where independent record stores still thrive.  Yes, we have huge new and used record stores still around this place.  

It means small music venues catering to the industrial rock crowd one night and the folk crowd the other night.  It means Darcelle's female impersonators being a stop on everyone's visit to Portland.  It means keeping Voodoo Doughnuts more popular than a Krispy Creme and food carts more popular than McDonalds.  

It means caring about our food a bit too much. It means raising chickens in the heart of the city and converting your lawn into raised vegetable gardens.   It means owning more bikes than cars (and using them more often). It means carrying our own bags everywhere.  It means a microbrewery everywhere - and a lot of people evangelizing why you should do it yourself.  It means shunning Starbucks for Stumptown.  And being way too caffeinated.  

It means sitting on pilates balls instead of office chairs at work. It means wearing jeans to work instead of slacks.  And dressing up for work is khakis and a button down shirt unless you're an attorney.  It means biking challenges and public transit challenges in the work place.  And most people are heavily tattooed and overly pierced - and no one bats an eyelash at it.

It means Saturday Market.  It means Bridge Pedal. It means MAX trains instead of freeways.  It means independent bands rising to popularity - bands like The Decemberists, Quarter Flash, Modest Mouse, Pink Martini, Everclear, and The Shins - to name a few.  It means Gus Van Sant, Matt Goening, and Will Vinton.  It means Beverly Cleary,  Chuck Palahniuk, and Ursula Le Guin.  

That is Portland - weird.

Enter IFC's new original series Portlandia - a spoof on Portland's weird culture.  An insanely accurate representation of Portland's weird culture.

Locals fall into two camps. Love it and laugh or hate it and shun. Those in the latter camp, I believe, feel it has hit too close to home for them.  Many I know fall in that crowd don't appreciate Portland's weirdness.

Carrie Brownstein is a local who co-created and wrote Portlandia,  She also plays one of the main characters, so she knows Portland, the neighborhoods, and the weird trends that make us weird. 

What's cool for us is how they have filmed some of the major segments in our neighborhood.  Feminist book store - down the street.  The shop with the birds on everything - nearby too.  The place they play hide and seek? The community college down the street.

G and I are in the camp where we love this show.  Because that is our culture around here.  We are weird.  It is why, I believe, many find this place feels like home - because it can be home for anybody.    What Portland lacks, somewhat, in ethnic diversity, it makes up for in the cultural diversity.  

Plus, it's hard to feel weird in a place where everyone is weird.

Anyway, if you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?

(check out the episodes online if you can't find it locally. totally worth it.)

POD - Willamette Falls

This is the view as I'm looking up the river toward the falls.

The falls - considered the 2nd largest in the US.

Dr McLoughlin - founded the area near the falls and considered critical for supporting the pioneers who reached the end of the Oregon Trail in terms of making sure they could get through the first winter.

The hydro-electric plant or the paper mill - doesn't matter - definitely detracts from the view.

POD - Tae Kwon Do

Tae Kwon Do - the way of the fist and the foot.  Fist and foot represent the physical parts of the sport with the way being living the life.  Most of "the way" is around the five tenets of success - courtesy,  integrity, perseverance, self-control,  and indomitable spirit.  It's about living the sport - being a leader - never giving up - controlling one's self - and living a life of courtesy and courage to do the right thing.

DJ's instructor today at the black belt pre-test told the kids how proud he was of them. Of 100 students who start tae kwon do , only 5 reach black belt.   Looking at the kids and adults going through this pre-test, none started with DJ.  All of the people who started class with her have dropped out. Every single one of them including the one boy who we expected would be with her at this test.  He dropped out about a year ago when they hit the half way mark.

The pre-test was actually great. While one boy felt they were being nit-picky about things, the instructor running it kept reminding them that he doesn't want to see them fail for things they can control. Things like yelling loud, having your belt tied properly (see DJ's example above, she's the one standing behind the one in the white uniform), adjusting your uniform only with your back turned to the other black belts, talking when you shouldn't, etc.  These are all the tests for "the way", as he explained.  

How did she do? She did really good.  She had to demonstrate she knew all 8 forms.  The forms are each about 20 combinations of kicks, punches, and blocks.  She knew most of them - only fumbled a few times over a step or two.  She knew the kicks - the vocabulary and the blocks and haikido. 

When we chatted after about how she felt she did, she mentioned wanting to get her forms better - crisper.  She's got about a month before she tests officially.  I think she can definitely get where she wants to be.  

Now, if she would just start working on her 5 page essay.

Yeah, there is a written requirement too.

POD - Blossoms?

The warmer than usual weather has resulted in my plants starting to make an appearance.  

Reconnecting

We had been cuddling in bed, but resisting anything more.  His shoulder had been hurting with limited mobility all week, so I assumed a few more days of no-sex would be a good idea.  He knew my allergies were causing me some havoc, so assumed I wanted sleep.

Our hands slid across skin, lingering on cock, breast and ass, as we enjoyed the closeness

"Why aren't we having sex?" I asked, then learned about his assumption.  The moment I told him I was fine, he took action to remedy the situation.

Our lovemaking was slow and purposeful.  We held each other as close as we could - almost as if trying to merge our bodies together.

There was no kink.
There was no fantasy.
There was no power plays.

It was only he and I making love.

After it ended, we laid there in the same position, kissing each other gently, and I stroked his back and he, my hair.  The emotion in that moment was still hanging in the air.

We both spend a lot of time fucking each other.
Or simply having sex to fill a need.
We spend a lot of time playing with each other.
We spend a lot of time exploring our individual kinks with others.

But, we both realized that this has been the missing piece recently.
No fucking.
No sex.
No kink.

Just my love and I connecting again on this more intimate level.

It has been too long.

POD - Beautiful Days

The fogged in buildings on Wed. This was the view out my window. You can barely see the top of the building.

Sunset on my run

More fogged in buildings. While you can see the top of this one, you cannot see the building next to it. Fog is what happens around here when it is warm during the day. It burns off, and is gorgeous. While you on the right coast are getting buried in snow, we're getting sun and 50 degree weather. Quite a crazy winter. And one you will hear no complaints from me about.

I proposed a theme for the 365 project - Them365, if you will.  This month, I thought the theme should be BARE. Have a picture for the theme, let me know. I'll post it at the end of the month as part of a round up blog.

HNT - Tired

I'm so tired of playing

Playin' with this bow and arrow

I gonna give my heart away

Leave it to the other girls to play

For I've been a temptress too long

From this time unchained

We're all lookin' at a different picture

Through this new frame of mind

A thousand flowers could bloom

Move over and give us some room, yea

So don't you stop, being a man

Just take a little look

From our side when you can

Show a little tenderness

No matter if you cry

Give me a reason to love you

Give me a reason to be a woman

I just wanna be a woman

'Cause it's all I wanna be is all a woman, yea

For this is the beginning of forever and ever

Its time to move over

So tired of playing

So tired of playing

Playin' with this bow and arrow

I gonna give my heart away

Leave it to the other girls, to play

For I've been a temptress too long

Just give me a reason to love you

Give me a reason to be

~Glory Box by Portishead

click here to go listen to this song.

Go visit others playing this week, by visiting our man Os.

Or OHNT for some more fun.

Hidden Purpose of Show & Tell

'Cause at the end of the day, aren't all bloggers doing each day simply a version of Show & Tell?
Does that mean teachers didn't do their jobs?

What does that make Twitter then? Show & Tell audience on-demand?

Wednesday Wanderings

Thank you for all of your comments yesterday! It was interesting seeing other perspectives on how I have been feeling. Some of the insights were great.

I should mention. I don't consider myself generally a pessimist. I am more of a cynic.  I read a definition once that a cynic was a broken hearted idealist, and I think that best describes me.  While I'm not out there with pom-poms cheering on everyone, I do sincerely want the best outcome for people.  I simply have been broken hearted over my own outcomes.  I do think putting it all out there was the right thing.  At least it got it off of my chest.

Remember a week ago when I wrote about the annoying guardian of one of the girls in my troop? Well, she and I had some words a few days ago.  She wanted me to tell her how many boxes each girl had sold. When I wouldn't, she kept bugging more and bugging me.  Finally, I said to her, look, it isn't any of your business.  She got upset and stormed away. Not before she asked about booth sales again, claimed she talked to some fake person, and other such crap. I gave her the info I had, she told me I was wrong, then stormed off.

The moms standing around listening to this drama were floored. And a bit scared, I think, because I would not let her push me around - and I was pretty blunt.  I spoke to my rep for booth sales yesterday who confirmed, I was right. Then gave me some great guidelines that she and I both know that the guardian will not agree to.  Good times! I anticipate my troop will decrease by one in the fall.

I find too much pleasure when my husband grades papers.  Why? Because teenagers are hilarious in their stupidity.  Stupidity? Is that too harsh?  Exhibit A: The kid who wrote about the pyramids, yet includes pictures of the Sphinx - not a pyramid in sight.  He also had some creative sentences.  Creative not in content, but in how he thought they should be structured.  Or Exhibit B: The kid who decided to use the phrase "time to make a Caesar baby" when talking about the point in which the queen decided to procreate.

G pretty much rolls his eyes at this stuff, but his reaction while grading these papers? Hilarious.  The outbursts were great.  The four papers that all stole content from the same site and walked that fine line between original content and plagiarism to the point where he has to get an official staff ruling.   It is like having a sitcom in my living room.  Too much fun....for me, not G.  He is annoyed as hell.

I started a Tumblr last week after I kept sending G pictures of 'ideas' and decided it would be best to simply use technology. There is clearly a theme.  Definitely NSFW.

Well, that's all that is in my brain.  Maybe I'll actually have something better later.  Ooo...I do want to do this week's prompt by Lilly.   Maybe tomorrow while I'm supposed to be working, I'll tackle that.
Until then, happy hump day!

POD - Silhouette

While many of you freeze, we are having unusually warm weather. It was 52 today. Supposed to be warmer tomorrow.  I'll take it.

What a Girl Wants

“Speak it into existence.”

It’s one of my dad’s phrases. It’s one he uses quite a bit in fact. 

It is the only phrase I have never been able to grasp.

I have always been the pessimist.  If I don’t speak it, I can’t want it that bad, right? And then, I won’t be too disappointed if I don’t get it. It’s the hope anyway.  

But here’s the rub. I am disappointed if I don’t get it. I’m disappointed if things don’t go the way I want. I’m disappointed that I even have to say it.  Stupid logic, I know - but it is what ends up happening each time.

Over the weekend, as G and I spoke about some things I had been thinking about, he asked, “what do you want? To quote your dad, speak them into existence for once.”

I gave him some bullshit logic. I know myself enough to know it was bullshit.  Saying it out loud was like giving myself permission to hope.  And if I hope, then I’ll be even that more disappointed when it doesn’t happen. Again, bullshit logic.

So, what do I want.

I want….

• To stop feeling pulled between friends who disagree.
• To feel wanted. To feel like people don’t just think about me, but actually take action to turn those words into meaning.  No more talking about it - doing something.
• Friends who don’t just fit me into their schedule.
• Friends who are also playmates to figure out how to go between the two roles without awkwardness or leaving me wondering “WTF” sometimes.
• To not feel hidden away.  Feeling hidden makes me feel like a backup plan and not sought after as words may indicate.
• To not have people make decisions for me - but actually ask the question instead of assuming the answer.
• To have guys ask if I need help before they seek to rescue this “girl”.  I don’t need saving; I just might need a hand. And don’t give me the bullshit line about “that’s how guys are” because using the line “that’s how girls are” never works. Why should it work with you?
• To be considered as the person I am. Not to have action taken because I’m a girl or because others are like that. I want people to know me and react accordingly. Not cause me to react back before they realize who they are dealing with.

That’s what I want.

There. I’ve said it out loud.

Now to see if it actually comes into existence.

POD - Flubber

Flubber in the making by nine 8yr old girls.

Flubber, if you have never made it, is a quick and fun science project.  

Click here for the instructions. 

The key ingredients are water, glue and borax. 

Creates something fun even for adults.

Random Thoughts by Emmy

Maybe it's the fact I feel I'm finally coming out of the fog of sickness I have been in.  Who knows. But, I don't have just one thing in my head -so I'm writing a stream of them.

I got a new iPhone on Saturday. This past week, mine has been pissing me off. Just getting slow - requiring lots of reboots throughout the week to clear the memory - and generally it was just feeling it was time.  It's 2 years old now. I made it through my contract. 

The new iPhone - very nice. In fact, I can almost fit all of my music on it.  MUCH better than the last one.  And because of the timing of my hardware upgrade with respect to my cell contract, I was grandfathered into the data plan change - meaning, I still have an unlimited plan without the rate hike.  I don't usually worry about it, but figured I would rather not worry about it than downgrade and save $5.  

He did try to get me to downgrade me text messaging from unlimited.  After I stopped laughing, said "yeah, no. Can't do that."  

The verdict of the phone so far? FAST. Holy crap is it fast. Everything is faster. It's very nice. Feels a bit different in the hand, but I got used to that pretty fast.  I'm happy I finally upgraded.

While I'm geeking out too, I should mention that I love an app called PhoneView. It allows you to pull things off of your phone you can't via iTunes.  I don't always save my pictures in text messages for example, but I can in a bulk way with that app. It was nice to have all of the stuff off the phone without worrying about losing anything.  

And while I'm being a bit of a geek, I discovered my viewership on Friday went thru the fucking roof. A couple of clicks later, I found out why.  The recent e[lust] digest included my post about a bruise inventory after a fun weekend.  Seems it noticed by a bondage site on Friday and a link to it was posted there. There are a lot of kinky people coming to visit.  Welcome if you are one of them.

While I'm on the topic of followers, I must say that I have mixed feelings about paying attention to the numbers.  On one hand, it is nice to see how many people are reading. It's nice to see how many people have the blog in their readers - or decide to follow me on Twitter.  Overall though, I do this for me.  I tweet because it started out as a geek experiment - and I have connected with some great people through there.  Follow me, unfollow me - I care, but I also know I may not be what people expect when they sign up to follow.  I get that.  Do what you need to do.  That's my approach.  

Saturday, G and I found ourselves alone.  One kid was away for the night with a friend. The other was picked up by a family and taken to a birthday party.  What did we do with 3hrs of alone time? Playtime followed by a nap, of course.  I cannot usually nap, but I'll have to thank being sick for letting me do it without ramifications later. It was heaven.

G's chickens have figured out how to get out of chicken-traz.  Hopefully he can fix the problem before it starts causing new problems with our neighbors.  At least they are smart enough to watch for the dogs. When they heard the backdoor open, they both headed back to the chicken coop. 

This weekend, G experimented with a cake recipe. A gluten-free, vegan cake recipe.  It's funny because he got the inspiration from his stunt bottom - a woman who allows him to tie her up with his practice ropes.  They met at a rope class where they connected when they started talking about baking.  She has allergies and bakes gluten-free, animal free.  The first time they got together for practice, they did it while the cake baked.  It is so funny because that is all they have a connection over. They have no sexual attraction.  Each time they get together now, they bake.  This past week, they baked a chocolate, coconut, curry cake.  Holy crap was it good.   This past weekend, he made it again.  I guarantee you that if you tasted it, you would have no idea it was gluten free or vegan.   He is enjoying the process because it requires you to learn the various flours and starches and such. 

Speaking of rope, I'm excited. In a few weeks, I'm going to be a friend's rope bottom in a partial suspension class.  Suspension is one of those neat things that I've enjoyed watching and seeing photographs of it.  Can't wait to be part of it.  

Ok - I think that's my brain dump.

Hope everyone has a good Monday!

POD - Trojan and Rainier

Even before I ever visited Oregon, I knew the tale of the Trojan Nuclear Power Plant.  It was built in Oregon - right on the Columbia River - near a fault line & with reports it was unsafe to operate (reports from the staff scientists, I should add).  After huge public pressure (including a clever campaign "Leaky Trojans lead to accidents"), it was shut down in 1992.  In 2005, the reactor was removed. In 2006, they demolished the cooling tower.

Now the site which used to play host to this plant is now a park.  I think it was a park before, but it now more of one.  There is also a pretty challenging disc golf course on there - complete with water hazards and a flock of geese who chase the disc golfers in hopes of getting food.

Indigo and I went out there on our way to Rainier, Oregon.  Why? We were bored - and I wanted a neat place to take pictures.  G was also hoping someone would get bitten by a radioactive spider and turned into a super hero.

I want a picnic overlooking the former power plant. While this view is gorgeous, if I had turned around all you would have seen was power lines coming into the plant.  

Rainier, Oregon proved to be a bit more interesting.

What it's like to be across the river from a paper mill.

Geese flying to escape the noisy-one - Indigo.

Snowy Egret standing in a marsh. Would have had one of a blue heron too, but my partner-in-crime Indigo decided to get out of the car that I had stopped in the middle of the road.  I scared it away with my yelling at her.  Guess the 'mom voice' worked on the bird too.

Stairs to nowhere.

POD -Old Buildings & The Moon

So, after being sick earlier in the week, I ended up with a stomach bug that allowed me to finish my week in the same way I started it - in bed.

Needless to say, I don't have many pictures - hard to have pics when you can't get out of bed.

I'm feeling better. A day of no food made today a big rougher than I had hoped. While I feel good, my body is giving me the finger for not feeding it yesterday.  Oh, well.  Just hope it is all over with cause I'm sick of being sick.

the full moon rising over our neighbor's house and thru the trees. Taken with my lensbaby which is why it is fuzzy around the edges.

This one is straight out of my camera - a building with an old 7Up logo on its side.  The light this morning was PERFECT. I actually stopped the car and jumped out to take this picture - leaving my family to wait. Love how it turned out.

e[lust] #22

Photo courtesy of Lady Grinning Soul

Welcome to e[lust] - Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #23? Start with the rules, check out the schedule and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~

Erotic asphyxiation: treatments of kink in therapy and the media - Kink and BDSM practitioners often come to an enhanced understanding of their own desires through the emphasis on personal boundaries and communicative consent which arises from a responsible approach to power and pain play.

Mirror, mirror - I found myself back there again, perched on the edge of the white expanse, spreading myself shamelessly in front of the glass

Worry - I’ve been thinking about rape culture more than ever before. On the outside, much of K’s and my play looks like sexual abuse. It’s not, because consent is always central.

~ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ~

gender and misogyny: responsibility and erotic writing - I spent a good portion of my adult life being gender fluid myself ..., and have partnered with several gender fluid folks as a top. Creating representation of us and our eroticism feels so vital to me, so important.

~ e[lust] Editress ~

Help End the Backlog - Speaking out works. Taking action works. Silence doesn’t. Politicians on every level need to hear your voice saying “this is unacceptable”. 76%. 3/4. That’s how many rapists get away with it on a national level.

See also: Pleasurists #111 and #112 for all your sex toy review needs

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Erotic Writing

A Tryst By The Car

Compliant

Fantasy: Brand New Day

First-Time Sex: How I Lost My Virginity

Happy New Year

Hysteria

Indiscretions Vol. 1: Caught And Wild Chlid

Like Mother, Like Daughter (part two)

Loving her, Mounting her, Owning her

Merry Christmas Baby

O/One

Should Have

The Starlet

Undiscovered

Wax Off

Whenever I'm Alone With You

Yeeees. Date Night

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Breaking Up, Polyamory Style

Computer Sex

Douchebagopolis - When Communication Fails At A Swinger Party

Epiphora's best and worst sex toys of 2010

Good Head

Hormones & Biological Clock Ticking

Lockets, Sins and Ink

Off My Chest

Swing Shift Volume 39- One and Only

Semi-Rant Part Two

Kink & Fetish

Barely Cooking Christmas Party

Camp Smack That Ass!

Fucked in bondage

Fucking bitch

How He Does It

Master's Good Medicine

Paddled and Fucked

Parodies and Pizza Boys

Photographer

School Girl Night

shes and me...

You Know It Was Good When...

HNT - Wait

Back against the wall, in the dark, I wait.

For you to come.

Put you hand in my hair, 

Pull back my head

And seize my mouth with yours.

I wait to feel your hand

Tug my head to the side,

And feel the sinking of your teeth into the soft spot in my neck

That spot where the neck meets the shoulder.

That spot which will make me moan.

I wait to feel your hand move,

From my hair and onto my neck

As you pin me back to the wall

And assault my nipples

With your teeth and tongue

I wait to feel that helpless feeling

As you pull your rope from your bag,

Grab my wrists

Turn me around

And bind them 

Behind my back.

I wait to feel the flogger

Its tails you run across my back

Across my legs

Across my ass

and the rest of my body

I wait for that first strike

As you start to mark my skin

Your hand holding me against the wall

By the back of my neck.

I feel the tails meet skin

I feel the welts rise up

I feel the cool of the air

As you strike me again and again.

I wait for the pause.

When you set down the flogger

Release me from the wall

And trace each mark 

With your hands

With your mouth

With your tongue

With your teeth

I wait....

Wait to be entered

Pressed against the wall

With each thrust

Wait to feel your fingers on my nipples

Wait to feel your teeth on my neck

On my back

Then, I wait for release.

To see who else is waiting for you to visit them, check in with Os.

Or visit the lovelies at OHNT.

Behind the Curtain: An HNT Photo

I was recently talking to a friend about taking pictures. I explained that I take most of my HNTs by myself with a remote, so when I have someone taking them for me, I struggle as I go through the shots.  Struggle is too nice of a word.

I get pissy as someone else takes the shots.

Why? Because not all shots are captured perfectly. You have to give yourself some room sometimes - some room to adjust it - to crop it - to zoom in. I have learned that through trial and error. Having someone take the shots who has not - can be, well, trying.

My photos, in the end, look very different than what they start out as.  The joys of Lightroom and post production work.  But, I have also learned, especially with HNT photos, that taking them in a certain way can give you more options - more to work with.

So, let me pull back the curtain for a second and reveal how things really look from the start.

Take this shot:

Hard to believe that it looked like this shot beforehand:

Notice the remote in my hand?

The bad lighting?

The bad framing of me in the shot?

So I crop it

I liked how my back looked. The muscles in my hips and legs. I liked, generally, my body angle. So I cropped out the rest until I liked how it looked.


Then, I hit Auto Tone to fix the color and tone.  But, it wasn't enough, so I increased the fill light to 33 to fix the lighting a bit more.

Then, I apply one of my favorite presets: BW Dependable. I would link to where I downloaded the preset, but, to be honest, I cannot find where I downloaded it anymore.

Then I export it to Smug Mug.

So, let me explain why I use Smug Mug.

In short, I have always felt like my photos looked like crap on most other sites. The color was off. What I saw in Lightroom or Gimp or Elements was not what I saw on the webpage.  Until I started using Smug Mug.  Rarely do I feel the colors are off now.  They look on the web page what they look like on my computer.

While others have great success with Flickr, I never liked it as much. Plus, recently, I have been hearing about professionals losing their PAID Flickr accounts. No good for me.

I often explain to people that while I like my photographs, many times it is what I see in them later that makes them great.  The curve of something - or a different angle.

Yes, the camera settings could have been better.

Yes, the zoom could have been different.

But, there is an art to seeing something inside of the picture.  To feel free to play with angles - to play with framing - to play with color.

It's no different than an artist who has done a study of a still life - playing with mediums, angles, and lighting.  Same difference really.

Anyway, this wasn't meant to be a tutorial.
I'm far from an expert.

This is simply to show how someone can take a photo that some would toss.
And turn it into a photo that people liked.
Kind of funny to think I could have deleted it, isn't it?

POD - Tea

I have this cold that seems to be sitting on my chest. It's the achey-ness that is killing me though. I tried to run the other day - and failed miserably. I decided maybe some yoga.  Another failure as my joints hurt and muscles cramped.  I have learned over the years that if my legs are achey, then I'm getting sick. Weird, huh?  Fighting it clearly is not good.

So, I got up today, went to email the team letting them know I'd be out, only to realize I had to go into the office. Why? Because I had a new contractor coming into the office and he was supposed to work with a team that - well - isn't self starting meaning I have to drag them into the conversation. So I went into the office, got thru the emails, set expectations in terms of what I needed them to do so I could leave for the day.  Thankfully I sounded and, apparently, looked like I crap.  Yay?

I got out fo there earlier than I thought - chatted with a few friends throughout the day as I napped and tormented another friend with IMs of some of my favorite lines from Bull Durham.  And I drank lots of tea....loose leave Tao of Tea cranberry orange tea.  Good stuff.

And I used to drink a LOT of tea, so it was nice buying loose leaf tea and know I had a way to brew it. I love this clear teapot of mine. It has a built in strainer which is the main reason I used it.

No Good Deed....

I am reminded daily when I hear the stories G brings home that I made the right career choice. Teaching would have resulted in me being fired, I think.

Last year, I stepped up to be a girl scout leader for one of the girl's troops.  There were 8 kids interested, but no parents who had time. I was unemployed.  I had once been one of those kids without an adult to lead the troop, so I did what my dad (yes, my dad) did and volunteered to do it.

It wasn't easy. Cookie sales - well, they suck as a leader. But, we made it through pretty well.

This year, it has been harder since I am employed, had a big project make it difficult to get things going with the troop - and, oh yeah, there is a guardian of one of the girls I have problems with.

The girl is new to the troop.

The guardian claims to not be new to scouting.

Yet, all of her experience is mainly boy scouts.

And she is extremely pushy.

If you read my blog, you know that pushiness has likely gone over like a lead balloon with me.  I can be diplomatic if I put my mind to it.  If you know me - and were to see me in those situations - you'd likely get a laugh as I am openly trying to be diplomatic.  My approach changes, my words are carefully chosen, I'm trying to tell them to go to hell while making them happy to be on their way.  I know the pained expression is on my face as I try to resist telling the person to fuck off.

What makes this situation even more difficult is the fact that I have to not piss off the guardian enough that she decides to keep the girl from doing girl scouts.  This is about the children.

The first situation that arose was over patches. She wanted her kid to get them all.  We have a small troop - everyone is doing it together - so this approach is a huge mismatch.  I explained it to her.  Repeatedly.

I even tossed in that this is GIRL scouts - not adult scouts or mom scouts or dad scouts or any other scouts. At the heart, this was about the girls.

No dice.

I finally in the first round made it clear that we aren't doing it that way. End of story.

The next round came when she informed me that she was going to be the co-leader.

Oh, really?

Then, she could start the troop when most of the girls are doing soccer since her kid isn't going to do soccer next year.

HUH??

Again with the GIRL discussion.
Then I said NO.

Then came the cookie talk.

No they can't sell the cookies for her.

Our area is constantly getting dinged for violations of that rule, so it is drilled into our heads. Again with the GIRL lecture from me, with the final word basically explaining that the penalty for getting caught is loss of money to the troop and the girl.  Then I made sure she saw that she was signing a LEGAL document.

Last night, she called me to inform me she and her kid were doing booth sales - on their own.  I needed to get them dates for them.

Uhm....booth sales are for TROOPS not individuals.

She argued.
I told her whatever - I was checking the rules.
I checked.
I was right.

I have hit this magical point where I now feel I have to get my ducks in a row. I'm going to have to have the talk with her about philosophy and invite her to take her kid to another troop that matches her own style.  I know the parents will back me. I know the principal will too. (He and I had a very open dialog about this woman - the benefits of being a staff member's wife and knowing too much already.)  But, I now have to involve the leadership above me.  I can't help but feel she could try to go after me in some way.

If there were no kids involved, I'd say fuck it - and let her have at it.  I don't need the hassle.  But, there are kids involved.  And she is not a good role model for them.

What's the phrase?

No good deed goes unpunished?

Yeah, that's about right with this one.

And this is only scouts.
I cannot imagine how she must be with a teacher.
Poor teacher.

POD - Lensbaby

I was in the mood to shoot some macro photos today, but do not have the right lens to do it.  Then I recalled my Lensbaby - it does the job quite nicely and makes the photos have a nice sort of surreal quality to them.

my cat who kept following me around until I took her photo. guess she's turned into a camera whore.

glass cubes from G's bus.

mushrooms growing on an old stump. I liked the stripes.

A Lesson in Taunting

“I have references that I’m mean” was the joke he had made earlier.

Well, not much of a joke. He could be mean when he was looking to be mean - and someone was looking for him to be mean.

Lucky grrrl.

Later as we played, things got nice and relaxed as it was winding down. I made a joke - “And I thought you were mean. Where is this ‘mean’ you have references for?”

I found myself across his lap. Slaps landed on my ass, a warm up for the real spanks. A quick warm up - then the real ones landed on my ass - hard - in the same spot. The pain gave way to a warmth that spread out from it. I couldn’t help but wiggle a bit as I enjoyed the warmth. The wiggling simply resulted in more swats.

Eventually, he reached up and grabbed my back - a handful of flesh to keep me from moving too much under him. The sensation of him gripping me as he spanked me elevated things to a new level for me.

Then he stopped spanking my ass and slid his fingers inside my pussy immediately finding my g-spot. The hard strokes took my arousal to a whole new level - as well as my vocal feedback.

My clit is usually the only way I can cum. But for some reason, the mean-one can give me a g-spot orgasm over and over and over again. As someone who has rarely had that experience, to have it over and over again - the sensation of him taking it from me -  made my body hum as the new sensation took me to higher levels.

Then his fingers were gone - and the smacks were back - on my ass, on my thighs, and on my pussy. The dichotomy of sensations made me gush with arousal.

He flipped me over. On my back, his hands found my tits - and his teeth found my nipples.

"I thought you were mean,"  I think I said again.

His hands were on my breasts - grabbing and squeezing them hard. But the endorphins were already in my system. What would have hurt most, simply gave me pleasure.

His teeth found that tendon in my neck - that place - that place if found can be bitten hard and it simply causes me to moan as I can feel my pussy get wetter and wetter until it trickles down my leg. Over and over again he bit it and gnawed at it.

Then his hand replaced his teeth as he wrapped it around my neck - holding me down onto the bed. His teeth left my nipples and found my stomach - under my tits, close to my pussy. They seemed to be everywhere - those sharp teeth that found my tender flesh.

And with each bite, I couldn’t help but arch my back and moan loudly as he kept pushing things further.

His teeth kept going further - to my thighs, to my pussy, to my clit. Hard bites.

And in this way, things continued until they wound back down again. We laid back on the pillows and wound our bodies together as I came down from my high.

Taunting as I have discovered leads to great punishment - great things that feel, well, great.

And for the days following, I discovered bite marks - faint bruises on my flesh.

I discovered clear finger marks left on my back - and on my collar bone.

I discovered aches from where my muscles were used against me - and his hands grabbed me.

Yeah, that’s what I get for taunting.

I think I’ll have to get me some more taunting again soon…..

……I hope.

POD - Mt Angel Abbey

Mt Angel is this little town in Oregon - about an hour from Portland - that always reminded me of the town where my mom grew up.  It's German. It's Catholic. You see the Catholic church from miles away - even before you see the town.

What else do you do on a rainy, RAINY day? Yeah, go for a drive and take photos while trying to keep the rain from ruining your camera.

But, I do like what I got - Mt Angel Abbey - a Benedictine Monastery.  Benedictines are a Roman Catholic order that follows the Rule of St Benedictine which is about communal living - peace, pray and work.

The little cemetery is filled with identical crosses marking the graves of the brothers and fathers who died at the abbey. The markers go back to 1900.  I liked the way the light was shining through the trees and onto the cemetery.

And periodically, there would be a rosary draped on the marker. This one had three - and was on one of the oldest ones.

Probably one of the funniest things that happened as we were driving up to the abbey from the main road was when I noticed this pathway near the road.  People were walking along it - out for some exercise.  We started passing these little huts.  After the third one, I said "oh, the stations of the cross".  G looked at me like I had just grown horns.  "Somewhere above us, my grandpa is saying 'well son-of-a-biscuit, something did stick with those non-Catholic grandkids!'" was my response.  G started laughing because you could hear my grandpa making that comment.  Then I hear out of the back seat, "What are the stations of the cross?"  We were looking for a German restaurant to stop at to eat sausages and have a beer in his honor - but it was Sunday. Nothing was really opened.  Yep, just like the town my mom grew up!

Life is Good

Life is good.
It is not perfect.
But it is incredibly good right now.

I read this quotation the other day:

A single sunbeam is enough to drive away many shadows.
~St. Francis of Assisi

I am finding I am feeling this idea.

Work people pissing me off? It doesn't ruin my day. 

Kids driving me nuts? I'm letting it roll off easier.

It's like this good is begetting good.

A year ago, I never would have said my life was not good.

Just feels better these days.

To borrow a phrase a friend has been using,

Life does not suck.

When I saw this, I couldn't help but wonder if that is difference. 

I'm not seeking anymore.

I have found it right where I am.

With the people I am with.

I can't help but think of something my Buddhist husband G likes to say,

you just have to BE.

Being is good

As is life.

POD - Random Shots from Thursday thru Saturday

prayer flags outside a Thai restaurant

wall of an old building - loved the layers of flaking paint

Rain drops on the needles of an evergreen tree

 Signed guitar in the window of the radio station near my train stop. Always fun to try to ID who signed it.

The barista at my favorite coffee shop always gives me hearts in my coffee. G claims its because she has a crush on me.