HNT - Thankful

"A friend accepts us as we are yet helps us to be what we should." 

-Author Unknown

It's not Thanksgiving, but it doesn't take that day for me to realize how thankful I am for people.  Over the past few days, I am realizing how much I appreciate people - how lucky I am to have them in my life. I am thankful for G - my husband who loves me. I am thankful for my friends - Domenico and Lili. The puppy piles - the times we've had that have checked off items on bucket lists. Domenico who knows notices something is wrong and seeks to be there for me - taking me out for drinks and talks and hugs and kisses.  I'm thankful for random texts from Lili that remind me of the weekend fun - and future fun.   I'm thankful for Chaps who is such a good friend.  I am so blessed with those in my life.  I cannot say enough about them.  But I can say it out loud and publicly.

The last few days have been a roller coaster or emotion.  I've had ups and downs. And these people have all been there.  It's funny how it is those times when you realize who is important  - who gets it.  And you appreciate them in more ways than you may have before.  Life is good.

Visit Osbasso to see who else is playing this week.
Or OHNT for more fun.

e[lust] #25

Photo courtesy of Sadie

Welcome to e[lust] - Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. And in this edition you can read all about the best sexuality conference of the year (ever?), Momentum, in a one-time-only Editor's Choice anomaly: I couldn't choose just one, so I chose them all! Want to be included in e[lust] #26? Start with the rules and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~

Where We Are - It was only supposed to be about the fucking. I don't know how I convinced myself that it could be. I fretted before we began, about how I could ever possibly separate sex from emotion.

The Edible Slut - His hand made an audible crack as it connected with her ass, loud in the dim bedroom. Did he really sink his hand into her hair, turn her head to face him, and shout, “Stop being such a brat!”

Beyond Bisexual - I don’t identify as bisexual, because I am interested in so many more people than just two of the variety of sexes or genders out there. Except, that is a word that a lot of people understand.

~ Featured: Momentum Conference Posts (Lilly’s Picks) ~

An Extraordinary Gathering (and a Gathering of the Extraordinary)

Finally! A Real Momentum Post

Inspired by MomentumCon

#mcon Rehash

Momentum

Momentumcon, Part One

~ e[lust] Editress ~

To Be or Not To Be....Anonymous, That Is - If you’re out or decide to be out….you’re not just outing yourself. You’re outing them all. And did they give their consent? Probably not, I’d guess. And even if they did give their consent could they even have a clue what consequences there will be?

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Thank you, and enjoy!

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

A Bump In The Road - A Swinger Party Goes Bad

Bridging the Gap (Between Swinging and BDSM)

con-sent

Eating Pussy

Jane Says: What Does Sex Feel Like For A Man?

Let's talk about food

Safe Word

S&M And Abuse

The Rules, Revisited

The Wet Patch

Who Cares About Your Open Relationship

Where There's Smoke...

Kink & Fetish

BDSM Advice: Nipple Clamps

bloodfucking

Communicating by touch

Consent [Violated]

Debasement

getting ready...

He mixed pleasure and pain, and my body responded to it all

Invitation

Stolen

Safety Scissors

Topping From the Bottom: An Ode

Wantonly Restrained

You Can Make It Feel So Real

Erotic Writing

3. Wrath

Cunt Licking

Definition of Inspiration

Linger

Miss Me?

My Sex Life: The Journey Continues, Part 2

Silk Memories

Sexy Dance-Ing

teacher sweaters and the cock that haunts me

The Casino

The miseducation of Ms. Mullins

Wow. Confession #558

When I come

WWWednesday

You Want This

Virtual Book Tour - Open All the Way

I don’t recall how I found her site, but when I did, I felt like I came late to the party. Sadie was just announcing how she was going to give up alcohol. I was taken back by her boldness to share such a powerful thing. Her honesty and her openness had me continuing to read.

That honesty and openness wasn’t limited to her blog - her book is written with that same honesty and openness. Part confession - part self-examination, Sadie Smythe takes the reader through her journey - from the discovery of orgasm on a banana seat bike on a cobble stone road through a more recent conversation with her and her therapist. And amid the stories, she shares nuggets of truth she has discovered along the way.

She is very brave to share her ups and downs. I must admit that while reading her journey sometimes, I wanted to take that Sadie at that time out for a coffee and a heart-to-heart talk. That being said, Sadie owns her journey - she examines where she went wrong - and you can see how she changes her thinking along the way.

I mentioned her nuggets of truth along the way? She has some great ones. The first one that caught my eye was around soul mates. I’ve never been a believer in just one - so it rang true. She had others about jealousy, about marriage for everyone, the marital bed, and many others. Her insights were thought provoking.

For me, the only thing I found distracting were some of the explanations about the other lifestyles - lifestyles that are under the open umbrella but are unique in their own rite. But, then again, I am well versed in swinging and BDSM - so I found the explanations unnecessary. That being said, I can understand how some readers may not understand - or have preconceived notions that are incorrect. The explanation would have created more thought for that audience.

Overall, Sadie’s book is worth the read. While there are books out there that talk theoretical, it is nice reading about someone’s actual journey. I would say “journey in an open relationship”, but, to be honest, it really is Sadie’s journey. The open part is just an element of it.

Go get your copy, by visiting Sadie.


Full disclosure:
Sadie provided me a review copy of her book for the purpose of this book tour.  

Motivational Monday

After seeing a photo of myself when I was at the high point of my running, I decided I need to motivate myself to get there again.  It was a photo taken on the beach the day after I ran my first 10 miles.  Yep, definitely need to start doing what got me there last time.  So, may this motivate you to do something you've been meaning to do -  or at least get back into the swing of things for the spring/summer - despite the rain and snow and all. 

I need to have this one posted all over the place in my house. How often I think about doing a run only to run out of time to do it.  Had I just gone, I would have been done and onto the next thing.

I sent this one to a friend who was complaining that he hated running and just felt slow.  Yeah, you may be slow, but at least you got your ass off the couch or out of the office chair in front of the computer and did it.  

A therapist is going to give you their opinion, ask questions, then give you a bill. A friend will do the first two of those things, plus give you a shoulder to cry on, a hug, and maybe even pay the bill if you are out together.  I'm always thankful for my friends when I need that ear.

Good advice - but hard advice sometimes.  

Bubble of Solitude

When he and I are together sometimes, it seems we are able to create sort of a bubble of solitude around us - a period of time during the loud bar or restaurant where it seems that the loud and the noise and the people melt away and it is just us.  

The first time I consciously noticed it happened, we went out on a date.  It had been too long since he and I had been out together - so we got dressed up and went out for a night together.  Sitting in the bar, he turned to me and kissed me - long, deep, and slowly.  And in that moment, the place was silent. The people lurking to get our booth were gone.  It was just him and I - alone - in that booth.  I came back to earth  momentarily when I realized his hand had traveled into my shirt and found an erect nipple to squeeze. He broke the kiss momentarily - said “no one will see” into my mouth - then we resumed our make out session - and the bubble of solitude came back.  I didn’t care - nothing else was important - just me and him.

The other night, the same thing happened again.  We were in a loud, crowded bar with heavy metal music blaring across the speaker system.  The first time, he snaked his hand up under my hair and grabbed it close to the scalp. The sensation of that act just makes me melt - it gives me a total feeling of surrender - of possession.  I relaxed back into it, my eyes closed and a smile on my lips, when I heard, “did you guys want something from the bar”.  He dismissed the waitress and chuckled - wondering aloud what she thought of the state he had me in.  I could care less - I was in heaven.  His chuckle was because he knew it.

During intermission, it happened again. Our bubble came down around us - and it was just me and him - kissing and slyly groping in the middle of the bar.  He had slid his hand into my bra as my hair was draped down as we kissed.  He squeezed a nipple as our kissing deepened.  I slid my hand up his leg and found his cock hard and ready - so I stroked it subtly through his pants.  The entire time, we were surrounded by people. The women who were sharing our table with us left, and new people took their place.  I didn’t notice.  There was a group of people who were standing right behind me for a better view….of the stage…..and again I had no idea.  The music was gone.  The people were gone. It was just him and me - in our own bubble of solitude.  This continued throughout the intermissions.  And just has he had whispered “let’s get out of here”, the show started again and popped the bubble.  I became aware of what had happened during our own interlude of sorts.  And I giggled to myself wondering who had seen what - and not really caring.

I don’t know how it is that together we are able to create these bubbles of solitude. I can honestly say I have never had them with others I’ve been with. I don’t know if it is the boundaries I’ve had in public with others that have prevented us from having those moments.  Or maybe it is simply the dynamic that he and I share - his dominant tendencies coupled with his knowledge of my buttons and how to push them.  

To be honest, I don’t care how.

I enjoy them - I enjoy them way too much to worry or care.

I just wonder when the next time I can have one is with the hope that it can carry us to greater fun later.

HNT - Perfect

"Soul-mates are people who bring out the best in you. They are not perfect but are always perfect for you." 

~Unknown

(i have no idea how this quote goes with the photo - i just liked the quote.)

Check in with Os to see who else is playing this week.

And OHNT for more fun.

Photos: The Past Few Days

The artistic picture I took of the St John's Bridge. Using the iPhone because I went out with my big fancy camera - and a dead battery.  Yeah....

Laying in a sunbeam on the back deck with a happy dog.  The reward for not killing ourselves after 30+ days of rain.  I can feel the moss going away....

More sun time....with one of the four hula hoops we made. And a beer.

My friend Chaps took me out to meet the other man in her life - her horse.  I walked into the tack room and had to take a photo.  It reminded me of something a friend told me abut her response to tack shops.  After seeing what fun things were in that room - I can see why. :)

Yesterday before I went for a run, I searched for running socks. I could not find a matching pair.  My roommate in college got me over the idea that you must have matching socks when you exercise. So I went out with mismatched socks.  I figured the new shoes would be the bigger issue than the socks. They were.

The Puppy Pile

The minute the doors closed, the clothes started coming off.  No kissing. No other preamble other than hearing that click.  Then we piled into bed - under the covers.

A nap was the guise.  Quiet time that sent the kids to their rooms - and the adults in to ours.  

We got cuddled together amid wiggles and giggles.  Entangling our bodies together so that everyone was touching - connected in the pile.

And as we all relaxed - comfortable in the configuration, the hands started roaming under the covers. Hands stroking skin as we as a group physically relaxed some more.

Then stroking hands turned into groping hands.  The sounds of relaxed breathing turned into sounds of kisses and moans as the hands found their targets.  

And as our nap continued, the bodies shifted around - the moans continued as did the kissing and the groping.  Everyone enjoying the closeness and the freedom that comes from the puppy pile. The freedom to explore - to watch - to try new things - to just be. 

The magic only ended when the time was discovered.  More time had passed than we had thought. No more time could be spent.

We got dressed and said our goodbyes - all leaving with smiles on our faces.

And images in our head.

Motivational Monday

So very true.

The to-do list will always be full. Do the important things - screw the rest. And important should be looked at as things that if you die tomorrow, you would wish you had done. Those things don't usually include "clean the house", "fold the laundry", "paint the wall", etc. The important things are things like "spend time with the kids", "take the dream trip", "do your art", etc.  

The hardest thing for everyone - myself included.

Another one I'm learning. Weakness is not seeking out others for support. And strength is not always going at it alone.  Very hard to remember that.

I LOVED this one. My mom used to always say "kill 'em with kindness" - and I struggled with feeling like I was being fake.  Now, I've decided that its just the polite thing to do.

Advice I'd like to remind everyone. 

Photos: Barrage of Photos

folding mini-comics over beers

Magnets on the beer cooler at the local bar

My coffee.  After I took it, I read this quote and thought it was appropriate.  This is where "there's an app for that" is appropriate as I did it all on my iPhone.

Julia - the Jersey Giant

Posing pussy.

Blossoms - and the wrong camera setting. Sometimes these are happy accidents when they look this eerie.

Week in Review

...subtitled, lazy edition :)

First off, go wish  Os a happy birthday. Better yet, send him a naughty picture. They help his vision, I hear. You know - diabetes and all.  He has to exercise his eyes.

I have worked maybe 5hrs this week.  Stupid stalled project.  And it only was un-stalled for a week.  While now is definitely the time to derail the project in the name of new requirements, it doesn't help me.

I got suspended last night.  For those of you non-kink community people, it means I was in the air held up only by rope.  After getting over the odd feeling, it was great. I liked it.  I hope my rope marks don't fade too fast.  They are a nice reminder.  And I hope to do it again soon!

This weekend is the local comicon for the small press stuff.  It is always such a good show.  Small but accessible especially for those venturing into a comic independently.  G and others are excited.  Should be some good fun.

One thing we aren't doing this week - again - is soccer. Indigo is supposed to be playing, but - get this - it's too muddy.  Actually if you are local, it isn't much of a surprise. By March 30th, we had already had lik 28 days of rain in March.  April hasn't seen much improvement.  At this point, the fields are beyond trashed - so the parks departement has decided no more playing until it can dry out.   So, no soccer this week either.

I know many people are talking about the little boy who is getting his toe nails painted pink by his mom - a photo that showed up in the latest J Crew catalog.  Remember back near Halloween when the mom who let her son dress up as Daphne from Scooby Doo?  I loved the comment she made in response to the toe nail painting photo.  She said "If this was a little girl and her dad - playing in the mud with trucks - this wouldn't be a major news story."  A-fucking-MEN!  To be honest, I know many a little boy who had his toes or fingers painted by his mom after he begged.  Who cares!!  As a said to my playmate, who likes having his toe nails painted, "apparently you are transgender now.  Did you know?"  Wonder if his wife is aware?  Hmm....

But seriously, most little boys at this age go thru some of it. I mean, they aren't born with a book on how to be a boy - things not to ask for because they are considered "unmanly" even at 5.  There is this great photo that my parents have of my brother at that same age, crying because he wanted the doll I had gotten for Christmas.  He was quite upset - to the point where my mom exchanged his firetruck (a toy he had gotten for Christmas but hated) for a doll.  He loved it.  Who fucking cares??!   Let kids be who they are.  Let them explore who they may become - as it is through that exploration that they find themselves or at least start crossing things off the list.

HNT - The Bath

click the pic please.

I like to give my inhibitions a bath now and then.

~Oliver Reed

I keep getting them dirty, so I spend a lot of time in the bath.

Pay Osbasso a visit to see who else is playing this week.

Or OHNT for more fun.

Photos: Glimpses of My Day

32 tubars - Dahlias.....now I have to find place to plant it.

What my leg looked like mere moments after I smashed it into the box of heads on the floor in the kitchen. Damn VW repair!

The haul of eggs for the day

The Lurid Details

He rolled over and cuddled up behind me. I had just put my book down and was going to try to sleep.  He slid his arm under my head and scooted up close.  I was just settling in against him when his hand closed around my neck, I felt his cock pushing against my pussy, and his voice growled in my ear, 

“Did you think about him as you came?”

He had gone to bed really early so he could run in the morning. I had quietly read until I decided an orgasm may help me to sleep - feeling keyed up for some reason.  I read one of my favorite things to masturbate to, but ended up ignoring it as my imagination began replaying the night before.  Before I knew it, I came - my pussy really wanting to be filled and fucked.

I was quiet, or so I thought.  I had awoken him.

“Did you think about him as you came?” he asked again in my ear.

“Yes.”

“Be a good grrl and tell me what you thought about” was his command as his cock slid into my pussy - his other hand pulling my leg into the right position so he could fuck me easily.

“I thought about waking him up - by stroking his cock - and asking him to fuck me.”

“I hope he fucked you hard” was his response as he began fucking me slowly.

“He did - then he drove into my pussy deep - and started biting my nipples.”

He chucked, “You hate that.  Were you a good grrl and let him fuck you however he wanted, wherever he wanted?” 

“Yes.”

“Did you suck his cock?”

“Yes.”

“Did you let him fuck you hard?”

“Yes, he fucked me hard. I’ve been feeling it all day. When we got there, he grabbed me by the hair, dragged me to the chair in the hotel room, pushed me over it, and fucked me hard.”

“Good.” was his simple response.  Then he followed quickly with, “did you like being treated like that?”

“Oh yeah. Turned me on. I couldn’t help but wiggle against him. He kept telling me I was being a good grrl.”

And I felt his other hand on my nipple - lazily playing with it.

I continued, “He did that too. It drove me crazy.  He’d play with my nipple like that, and I’d just want to come over and over again.”

“Did you touch yourself?”

“No.”

“Why not? Did you ask him to touch yourself?”

“No. Not something I’ve done in front of him yet.”

“Good grrl.” he growled into my ear as he continued to fuck me, “He should give you permission to do it.  Did you make him cum?”

“Yes.  I stroked his cock. He poured lube over my fist as I was doing it - making it slippery like he likes.  Then he came all over me - and rubbed his cum into my body.”

His pace quickened and his grip on my neck tightened as he pulled me in even closer to him.

“Did he have you collared?” was his next question.

“Yes.  Do you like hearing that?” I couldn’t resist asking given the question caught me by surprise.

“I do.  Were you a good grrl - did you wear it the whole time?”

I moaned before I answered that I was and I had.

He was close. I could tell. So I kept talking.

“In the middle of the night, I curled up close to him - and started stroking his body - his arms, his legs, his cock.  Then I’d kiss his chest and could feel his cock stirring.  I did this until he was hard and partially awake - then I asked him to please fuck me. Do you like hearing this?”

He didn’t answer directly - instead came suddenly - pulling me in closer to him as he did it.  Then after catching his breath said “thank you.”

“Sorry I woke you.”

“No, I’m glad you did. Plus, I wanted to hear about your evening.”

Then he rolled back over and went back to sleep.

I love that we can have these fuck sessions where we share the lurid details of our nights with others.  

Oh, and when did my husband figure out how to Top me?  Hmmm…..

Photos: A Neighborhood Walk

After dinner, while G was off learning new and exciting ways to tie up his play partner, I took the girls on a walk around the neighborhood.  The sun was out - they were going crazy - and I knew I was going to kill them if I didn't get them out of the house.  So, they rode their bikes while I followed on foot with my camera.

I LOVE this sign hanging on the front of a house above their flowers.  I have visions of fairies attacking people who step on flowers or something.

Gotta love Portlanders. This woman has been edging her garden with inverted bottles of wine.  She has put in hundreds at this point. 

Motivational Monday

I have to remember this one myself sometimes. I want things from people without telling them - and when I don't get it, I think it is for a reason - they don't have the same feelings I do. In the end, they are just giving me what I need - just not in the way I wanted.  Never means they didn't love or appreciate me - juste means they showed it differently.

This is one for men.  Men, generally speaking, jump into problem solving mode when a woman in their life is having problems.  They focus on the problem - and not the person.  Never forget the person. Because sometimes it isn't the problem that needs solving that will make the person happy.  Sometimes it is being held, being talked to, being listened to - that makes the person happy. Problem be damned.  

YES!! There are many times in my own life where I push the discomfort away, take a deep breath, and dive right in.  You know what I find? It is never as bad as I had imagined.  And, most of the time, it is a better end result than if I hadn't done that.  

We can be our own worst enemies - so don't believe if cannot be done.  Believe instead that you are the one who CAN do it while others don't believe that.  

Happy is a good thing to be when you grow up. 

AMEN! Might I suggest Plants vs Zombies to get your zombie killing fix? 

Or at least watch Zombieland.  

Wanna have fun? Tell someone this today. 

Make someone's Monday because everyone wants to be wanted - in that way too.

Hope you kick Monday's ass today!