Tween Cleaning

The other day, I woke up DJ by throwing things at her from her door.

"Is there even carpet under the crap on your floor?" I asked after she woke up.

"Moe, you can see it," she said annoyed with my comment. Then quickly added, "kinda."

I declared it clean-your-room day.

Later that evening, I went upstairs to check progress.  Indigo was excited because she was actually ready to vacuum.  DJ was evasive.

"Did you actually clean your room?"

"You can see spots of carpet now," she replied.

"So what are you keeping?" as I reached under the bed and pulled out, "Something that no one knows the name of - what IS this?" I asked as I held it up.

DJ started laughing hysterically, then took a breath to say, "I have no idea what that is."

"But we are keeping it, I see. We are going to keep this to remind us of why we need to clean the room."

What started was a humor excursion into her room.  We found:

• 5 spoons
• 18 hair ties
• numerous straws
• monkeys - lots of weird monkeys
• books she thought she had lost
• A Mother's Day card she wrote & forgot to give me
• A Krispy Kreme hat
• A packet of ketchup
• balls - pairs of fuzzy balls in pink, red and blue
• Spelling words from March
• Her soccer players card from 2009
• Various paper cups
• Valentines Day Cards from last year
• A poster from the Beaver's Baseball game - 4th of July 2010

And that was what we found so far.

The project is still underway.

Probably the funniest part of the whole thing was asking her why - why did you keep this or why did you keep that.  And having her realize there was no reason for it.  She simply stashed it.   

If this is what 11 brings, I can hardly wait until 16. 

Open Marriages Don't Work....

The only way I would agree with that statement is if you add: 

.....if you're marriage already has problems.  But even that part is not universally true.

Sadie recently posted about her and her husband's decision to separate. On Twitter later that day, she commented that open marriage didn't cause the split.  I recently was directed to an article published in Psychology Today where they also claimed all marriages are opened as a result of a deeper psychological issue.  The author claims it is why all open marriages will fail.  

Like my title that drew you in implies, I believe that open marriages don't work .....if there is already a problem.  Just like any other marital decision, if done for the wrong reasons, you can spell disaster for the marriage.  

Marriages fail for a lot of reasons: poor communication, unresolved issues, dysfunctional behavior, codependency, etc.  These are the root causes in the end.  Open marriage is not a universal sign there is something significantly wrong with the marriage and individuals within it.  It is not the warning flag that the marriage is about to end.

While open marriage is not for everyone, neither is having kids, buying a house, getting a dog, moving to a new place, or making a major job change.  All of these things can cause existing issues within a relationship to surface, get worse, and cause the self destruction of the relationship.  None are the cause or a sign of a problem.  Just can be catalysts for kicking off the beginning of the end.

That being said, at the end of the day, it is what the individuals do at that time that really define how the marriage will turn out.  If people have children and realize there are relationship woes, they can let them consume them - or do something about them.  Those who choose the latter give the relationship a chance to survive.  It's all in what the couple does with what they are learning about themselves and their relationship.  

I have seen examples of situations where an open marriage did nothing to the relationship except enhance it.  These marriages have been open for 10+ years.  I have seen examples of where open marriage can spell the beginning of the end because they were done for the wrong reasons.  I have seen examples of where an open marriage was chosen and shocked the hell out of the couple when they discovered there were issues that only the open marriage could bring to the surface. I have seen couples open their marriage for what seem like the wrong reasons on the outside, but caused no issues in the end.  I have seen couples open it in response to an issue, discover the problem, then work through them to keep the marriage in tact.

For me, hearing people believe the open marriage is the beginning of the end is silly.  I’ve had friends “save their relationship” through bringing children into the marriage.  Let’s talk about screwed up - and now they have kids tangled in the mess.  I cannot help but feel that since this is considered “not the norm” that people are quick to assign a problem to the marriage if a couple decides to open it.

Why did G and I decide to open our marriage?  We were curious.  We wanted experiences that required us to bring people into our relationship in some form or fashion.  While over time, it evolved into what we have today - it evolved not out of a response to problems in our relationship. It evolved consciously and with thought to how it could effect our relationship positively and negatively.

Why don’t I worry about our marriage?  We communicate.  We listen. We do not judge each other.  We realize neither of us is perfect, but the respect we have for each other allows for us to realize in those moments that nothing is being done out of malice.  We are continually learning from our experience, growing from them, and allow ourselves to feel genuine happiness for each other and what we are discovering about ourselves.

Does jealousy happen? Hell yes.  But we know that it is a sign that we are out of synch, so we do something about it.

Do we have miscommunications? Yep.  And we work through them.  

Is it easy? Most of the time it is, but sometimes it is not.  When it is not, we talk and work through it together.  We are partners - and we know we will only get through it together. If we don’t work together, we risk our relationship.  We know that and are mindful of it.

We are not perfect, but for us our journey has worked for us - for the same reasons we have been able to get through other parts of our relationship. We remember we are a team and must function as a unit to make it work.  

Will it work for everyone? Hell no.  Anyone who thinks that should have their head examined.

Motivational Monday #20

I'm so glad people are enjoying these as I am definitely doing the same.  Thank you for continuing to read and comment.

This reminded me a bit of the movie Living Out Loud.  Great movie about a woman who had lost a lot - love, security, etc - and her life - living in her head instead of out loud.  She pretended her way through life.  In the end, she figures out how to live out loud.  Just like this - not pretending, without depending, without defending and without offending.  Good stuff.  (Oh and the soundtrack to this movie is FABULOUS!)

Don't forget the people who created this spark when you got to know them.  It's easy to seek out the new spark elsewhere, but don't forget that adventures don't end unless the people involved cease to have them.

Don't forget this as it is very true.  Those talking about their misery are not the ones you need to worry about - you need to worry about the ones not talking about it.

AMEN! Can't change the past, only learn from it and use that going forward.  

Happy Monday!

Urban Decay - Photos

Pattern

I miss him sometimes.

It's that simple.

And I think that is what I miss - the simple.

I miss the energy we shared. I missed the eagerness he had to see me. The fact he would go out of his way to make me feel special to him. I miss the care he would give me.  Hearing I was sick was a reason to make sure I wasn't alone - not a reason to stay away.  I miss that feeling that I would have - that I was special to someone.

I often wonder if the reason I felt this way was because our relationship was surface only.  Sex, kink, and small talk.  Nothing big was ever talked about.  I never felt he really knew the Emmy others know.  He knew the basics. He knew enough.  Nothing more - nothing less.  He enjoyed the illusion as did I.  I never had any delusions of that.

He was my vacation and I was his.

I guess I've been missing him recently because I don't feel special to anyone right now.  I feel like I'm a means to an end.  I feel like those who know me don't have any eagerness around spending time with me.  I feel they know too much. They know I'll be fine.   I'll be there when they want me. I'll think to much before cutting them off.  I'll care too much to just walk away.

Every relationship I have had where they have known me has led to this point.

On one hand, it make me say 'fuck 'em - I don't need that."

On the other hand, it makes me wonder what's wrong with me.

Because I am beginning to see a pretty significant pattern.

A pattern I don't like.

Good Things in My Week

This may become a weekly thing now - start of the week with motivation - end it with a reflection.  Seems to work for now anyway.

• Spending the weekend with chosen family. I love that phrase "chosen family".  And I love those who have been making up this family too.
• Walking through the forest with Domenico - talking - swapping lies - and just enjoying the peace of the forest.  
• Job interview scheduled!  Friday morning - by the time this posts, I'll be en route to my interview.  Send positive thoughts. Thanks to me catching the stomach bug my family has been passing around, I had to reschedule it.  Not a good first impression bringing a stomach bug to an interview.  
• Hearing from the recruiters that they are all ubber excited to meet me.  Hearing how impressed they are with me on paper.  
• Sock shopping with Lili.  Sock dreams is a dangerous place.  Kind of looking forward to sock weather again.
• Kicking the soccer ball around - against the retaining wall, then with Domenico. Funny how the simple things are entertaining sometimes.  
• Art committee meeting at the local sex club. Yep - I'm on the committee to find artists to display in the gallery spaces.  Interesting crew. Should be fun.
• Deciding that the spiral is the perfect way to organize the desks in G's classroom
• This post - Dana's update about her son.  AWESOME news - for both of them.
• My friend's husband who has been giving me some great support (and distraction) via Fetlife.  He is truly a good guy.  Still kind of weird thinking about how the vanilla world collided with the kink one - but all in good ways.
• Driving my jeep and getting all giggly as the air whipped my hair around, and G smiled asking if the gift was still okay.  Hell yes!
• Green beans - fresh from the garden.
• Listening to two tweens who are supposed to be sleeping - laughing and joking with each other while reading comics and all.  Love the friendship DJ and she have.  
• Seeing the house out of recycled boxes that Indigo and her friends made on the sidewalk.  
• Cool afternoons under the arbor
• Realizing that even I was getting sick of the mood I was in - and finally finding the place in my brain where I could turn it around.
• Meeting a local blogger/twitter friend finally! And having him be exactly as I had thought he was. Love it when the person matches the personae, if you will. 

Happy Friday!

HNT - The Gift that Comes with a Price

"This is a gift, it comes with a price

Who is the lamb, and who is the knife.

Midas is king and he holds me so tight

And turns me to gold in the sunlight"

~Florence + The Machine "Rabbit Heart"

Funny how a song will get stuck in my head.  This song has been making me crazy for the last couple of weeks.  I think maybe with everything I have been going through the last few weeks, it just speaks to me and how I'm feeling.  The questions my brain keeps asking my heart and visa versa.  It's definitely a song everyone can hear something in that they find meaning.  Take a listen:

Then go visit Os to see who else is playing this week.
Or OHNT for a different group of players.

Week in Photos

Motivational Monday

I recall a comment someone once said to me after I questioned why the treated someone so differently than others.  The response was "kid gloves - they need kid gloves because they aren't as strong as others".  I hate that idea that some people get coddled because they come across as unable to handle things the way others can. The reality is - we are all fragile.  Physically we are fragile. Mentally we all have our own issues that make us vulnerable in ways we don't want to talk about. Everyone should be treated like we are fragile.

YES! YES! YES!  Don't do it. You are the one who loses the ground - not the person you are throwing dirt at. Hell, in the end, they are gaining more than you are losing.  When we toss dirt at others, right or wrong - we end up losing creditability.  We become the person we are chastising.  We end up on the low road instead of the high - and all because we dug ourselves down to that level.  Don't do it!

There is something about the act of making something that stirs up creative juices.  It reinvigorates the mind. It forces us to look at this differently through the process of creating something that is inside of us.  No matter what the medium - paint, pencil, camera, food, cloth, dirt - make something. Learn about yourself in the process. 

I truly believe that it is only when you are faced with the dark days that is when you finally see people's true inner beauty or inner ugly.  Will they shine? Or will they go dark with everything else?      It reminds me of the quote that Willie Wonka makes in the original movie - "So shines a good deed in a weary world"  (originally a Shakespeare quote).  Will you be the light in the dark room for someone?

I have watched people self destruct because their ego outshone their talent. Talent and aptitude will only get you so far. And if your ego gets in the way, it won't get nearly as far as you would hope.  Remember that those who are the most talented never stand up and say how talented they are.  I am reminded of my best friend from college who used to tell me tales of soccer games.  When I finally went out to see her team play, I realized she was a starter. I had no idea. The way she talked about the team, you would think she was sitting on the sidelines watching.  Nope.  She was in there in awe of those she was playing shoulder to shoulder with. In the end, she was one of the best players on that field because she never let herself develop an ego over how great she was.

Realization

Years ago, I would stand here on the west coast and watch my family in the midwest get together for special occasions or just dinner on a Sunday and think proximity was my barrier with them.  I was far away - they were all close together.  I would rationalize that if we were all together that I would be part of it.  I would be there too - celebrating, comforting, just being there too.  My choice of life took me from that, but did not make me less of a family members.

When they first moved out here - a mere 3 hours away, I was happy.  After dealing with G's dysfunctional family for years, it was a welcome relief for me to have my family close by.  All of them near - my kids would have their other grandparents.  They would have their aunts and uncles - and eventually cousins to get to know and love.  They would get to see a functional family in action.

There have been signs all along that I (and by virtue my family) was not part of that tight knit group.  There were things that would come up where I would think "did they mean to exclude me?"  But I tried to continually interject myself into it all.  And there were times when they "needed the big sister" and sought me out.  It gave me this false sense that I was part of that.

But in reality, I'm not.

I realized last winter that my parents were celebrating a significant anniversary this summer.  An anniversary that required a group celebration - a bigger than family one.  I brought it up to my brothers who hemmed and hawed about the whole thing.  Neither even realized it was a significant one until I proved it to them - yes, I had to prove it.  Nothing came of my forethought.  So, I figured we'd deal with it when it came closer.

It snuck up on all of us - their anniversary. I called the siblings and suggested that we plan something. More hemming and hawing - work schedules, etc.  Then I realized we had committed to sending Indigo to my in-laws the same time as the anniversary.  They had put it on the calendar with G weeks ago.  Nothing was coming together planning wise, so I called my mom to see what she wanted.  She wanted the whole family together.  She wanted to see the kids.  She realized nothing was being planned, so understood about Indigo.  So, we picked another date.  A date where we could go spent the day together at a lake.

The plan was thwarted again by work schedules and such.  A plan D was going to need to be made.

I woke up to G asking me "did you know they are celebrating your parents anniversary tonight?"

He had read it on Facebook that a plan had been created.

No one had told me.

I was not happy, but there was nothing I could do.  I had tried.  I had failed. I was being excluded....again.

I went about my day just doing my own thing.  Having a great evening with friends.  All was good.

Until they went home and I checked my email.

The same brother who had created this plan of exclusion for me had sent me an email basically telling me my priorities were fucked up.  He told me that this was a great evening that I had chosen not to be a part of. Then he went on to tell me that these are chances in life you don't get back.  He read me the riot act for not being there - not attending the party that no one told me about - the party I found out about via a Facebook status update.

This is, for context purposes, the same brother who I got onto anti-anxiety medicine when he was struggling to keep his head above water, the same brother who I gave an extra car to when he was vehicle-less, the brother who I reviewed and rewrote resumes for, I gave advice to when he was fighting a unemployment denial.  I have loaned him money. I have helped him out.  I have been there as he needed it.

My heart has broken with the realization that I will never be part of that family. I had apparently forfeited it when I moved out to Oregon 16 years ago.  And despite the feeling all those years ago that it was distance that kept me from not being  a part of it, I now know - it isn't.   I'm really not sure what I'm going to do with this realization now.

This was so much easier when they were halfway across the country.

What do I do with it?

Good Things in My Week

A few weeks ago, I did a post called "Looking for Good" where I made a list of the good things that happened in my week - in an attempt to look for the good instead of fixating only on the bad.  Why? It's easy to let the stress weight you down. It's not so easy to look for the good.

I've had one of those weeks where I have been in a funk due to a lot of things, so it's time to look for the good.  Here we go:

• I <knock on wood> avoided the illness going through the people in the house.  
• I talked to a recruiter for a job, impressed her, and got the interview. It's next Friday. 
• I got the director who drives me nuts in my current position off my back by putting some pressure back on her. This was great - no more pressure for me - and watching her squirm as I got her to see it is her who had failed was also fun.
• Spent 2 glorious hours sitting in a park reading, taking pics and generally just unwinding - and I did this alone.
• I cleaned out the fridge. This is a big deal as I have three people who are great at adding things to the fridge but not removing them even if they are on the verge of walking out on their own feet.   And I grossed two of the offenders out to the point where I think they are now scared straight.
• I made some sour dough bread started. Should be ready for use this weekend.  (Emmy fact: I love making bread from scratch.)
• I harvested my first tomato from the garden.  I have three more on the verge of being ready too. Last year, they all rotted - the year before they did the same thing.  I think I'm back on track with growing them.
• I had a great talk about baseball with my neighbor who played for Arizona State - and now umpires and coaches.  He still loves that I taught the neighbor kid how to throw a ball in like 2 seconds whereas he was struggling.  Thanks Grandpa and Dad for giving me the little trick when I was a kid.
• My insomnia all week allowed me to get to one of my favorite Buffy episodes on Netflix entitled Beer Bad.  Quotes like "Beer good - beer foamy" and "Nothing can defeat the penis!" 
• I sprayed off the back deck - a bigger deal than one would normally think.  Think old dog who doesn't always make it off the deck before going to the bathroom. Yes, ick. Not ick anymore.
• Spent a few hours with a friend talking and eating yummy olive bread and cheese. And drinking tasty adult beverages out of water bottles so we could. Beer good.
• Hearing some well needed words from a very good friend - words I needed to hear - and he knew exactly when I needed to hear them apparently without even maybe realizing it.  
• Dinner and drinks with another good friend - time we both realized we needed more of together. 
• Seeing photos from the surprise I arranged for Domenico.  Every time I see them, they make me smile remembering how loopy he was on his endorphin high and how giddy we both were for different reasons.  Who knew needle play could be so good. I'll leave it at that.  *grin*

What good things have happened in your week?

HNT - Beast

"If you could only see the beast you've made of me

I held it in but now it seems you've set it running free

Screaming in the dark, I howl when we're apart

Drag my teeth across your chest to taste your beating heart"

~Howl performed by Florence and the Machine

Check out Os to see who else is playing this week.

Or OHNT for more half-nekkid people.

Trying "To Be"

I don't know how many times I have given the advice - just let it be - to a friend going through a rough time - or having a rough day.  Great advice.....until you try to take it yourself and realize you don't know how or even what the fuck it really means.

I have aspirations of learning the meditate.  I don't nap - and usually when I want to nap it is because I'm emotionally exhausted.  I figured meditating could give me what I need.  Hell, something has to.

So yesterday, after feeling like I could give nothing more, I laid in the grass at the park my family was at, put on my headphones, and tried listening to the guided mediation about letting "it be". (Gotta love podcasts.)

As the woman's voice led the meditation, I realized quickly that I truly don't know what it means or how to do it.  And the more she prompted my thoughts, the more this was confirmed.

"Think about everything that is bringing you stress or emotion right now" was the first thing.  "No need to make a list" was her quick follow up. Oh hell, I had a list.

"Now thing about your reactions to it all - what you are feeling."

Another easy one, I thought.

"Accept your emotions and reactions to it all - they are okay - there is nothing wrong with them."

But there is - I kept thinking - there is.  I don't like my reactions to them. I don't like the thoughts that pop into my head as those thought are not who I am.  Not something I'm proud of even thinking in my head.

"We often control what is uncontrollable. Just like the events that happened were spontaneous, so are your reactions. So let your reactions be. Let what happened be. Don't try to change them or control them. Just acknowledge them and let them be."

This is where the lightbulb came on for me, says the self-proclaimed Control Freak.

I spent so much time trying to control my responses and emotions.  I control them for me.  I stomp them down as much as I can until they go away.

I control them for others, so that I don't have to worry about their reactions to me. Don't have to risk fall out. Don't have to risk my reactions being construed as me being too sensitive or too bitchy. I add them to that cannon - the one they have risk of getting hit by shrapnel when it goes off.

"Trying to change how you feel about the situation creates unnecessary conflict in yourself, so acknowledge them and let them be as they are."

Oh, so I'm not supposed to fight with them. I'm not supposed to be personally disappointed with myself when my response to something is initially snarky or bitchy or disappointment where I should be none of those things.  I shouldn't fight them but let them be as they are instead of spending time figuring out how to undo it - or feeling something about it.   Damn, I truly don't know how to let it be.

Her voice went on - continuing to guide the mediation around riding the waves of what is happening rather than trying swim against them. Not judging the situation or my reaction to them - but accepting that they are spontaneous and unexpected just like life is.  At the end of the day, you can't control as much of it as you think.

In the end, I learned not to try to meditate while my family is around. The constant milling around me proved distracting - so, having learned something,  I stopped trying to fight the distraction.

My personal misconceptions about letting it be was to ignore it all - let it lay where it lands - and walk away without a second thought. What I have tried to do is drop it like a hot potato before my response is even done forming.  Or, in the process of stomping down my emotions, I inadvertently pack my emotional cannon full of all of the emotions I don't like.  I pack it nice and full - full of ammo and gun powder which means when it goes off - many will be hurt.

But what I need to do is acknowledge it all. I need to say "you know - that isn't your best reaction to the situation - it may have surprised you too - but it happened so why think about it."

Easier said than done - or so it feels right now.  Hope it gets easier with practice.

Missed Shooting Stars

We setup our campsite for the night - a place in the asphalt paddock where people were staging the motorcycles for the next day.  Dinner was cooking on the grill. A simple meal of brats and salad from a bag gave us the food we needed with minimal effort.   We sat around after, sipping beer, watching stars, and laughing at the city kid responses my girls were making to the stars as darkness fell over us.  After forcing the kids to do several laps around the paddock on the bikes, we sent them to bed.

The wind had calmed down, and the high desert was cooling quickly.  We went from warm to too cool quicker than either of us expected.  He went inside to grab a blanket, came back, grabbed his chair, and told me to follow him to a darker place for some more star gazing.

We put the camp chairs as close as we could, so we could share the blanket.  We leaned into each other, his arm around me, and gazed up at the stars. We shared lies  - talking about star gazing at sea - and last year's meteor shower.  We watched the stars but also those around us setting up camp, winding down, getting ready for their day on the track.

And as we talked, our hands roamed freely under the blanket. Caressing a leg. Stroking an arm. Finding a nipple.   Occasionally we would pause and kiss - softly at first, but each time the passion built as we enjoyed the dark and unwound from the day.

"I'll be right back," he said as he left me to go take care of something.  I followed his silhouette until it was out of view. And noticed he had extinguished the lantern. And I could hear he was saying goodnight to our neighbors before returning.

He walked back to where our chairs were sitting, but instead of sitting down in his own, he walked to the side of my chair. I saw him fumbling with his zipper, then pull out his cock for me.  

"Here, " was all he said - and I took his semi-erect cock in hand and into my mouth.

I licked the head of his cock, sliding my tongue around the ridge on the underside - then took it deep into my mouth.  Using my tongue, I ran it back and forth along the shaft as I slowing withdrew it back to the head.  And repeated the process again.  And with each stroke of my mouth, with each firm caress with my tongue, his erection grew - his breath quickened - and an almost silent moan escaped his lips.

I continued the blow job, adding my hands into the mix. Cupping his balls. Using my hand to give his cock and extra stroke as I focused on the head of his cock - just like I know he enjoys.  And with each stroke, I spread my saliva around making it all extra slick - extra sensitive.

I felt his cock thicken. I knew he was close. Doing this outdoors - under the stars - where we could caught - made it easy for both of us.  His hand found my hair, grabbing a handful in an effort to control the pace - another sign he was about ready to cum.

My own arousal grew with each stroke, each indication I got that he was close.  For me, I can almost get off by taking a man into my mouth and bringing him to orgasm.

"Use your hand more," he whispered breathlessly - and I did just that as I picked up the pace.

The flashlight hit my face.

The neighbors on the other side - the ones who had settled in for the night sooner than we had - were looking for something in one of their cars.  And instead, found him standing close to my chair - and me, clearly giving him a blow job.

I've got exhibitionist tendencies, I thought, if they want to watch great.  I don't care. I'm continuing on.

But I did pause for a second while I regained my sight after being blinded for a second by that light. The light went away, and I resumed.  Knowing my pause had also stalled his build-up, I resumed what I had been doing - mouth, tongue and hand sliding on his cock.  I could feel him getting close again which made me silently happy I had not lost too much ground - I had not distracted him too much.

I heard someone near by us again - the clang of boot hitting the metal garbage can and fence. I pulled away from his cock, peering around him,  to find the person who caught up very close to where we were - cigarette in hand, totally enjoying the show. I couldn't help but giggle a bit.

"What?"

"We have an audience," I whispered.

He had not noticed.  The moment after our voyeur made the noise, the moment was lost.  I continued to stroke his cock as I suggested maybe we go inside.  He agreed as he tucked his cock back inside.

"Ooo, look," I said, "a shooting star!" I noticed before I stood up.

He chuckled, "I missed it again!"

Then we headed inside to resume activities without the audience.

Motivational Monday

Nothing that is worth it is EVER easy. Remember that - but don't let that dissuade you from pursuing your dreams.  Accept it as the right path and make it happen.

This reminded me of my favorite like from a Seal song "in a world full of people, only some what to fly - isn't that crazy?"  Many times we are the ones keeping ourselves on the ground - no one or nothing else.  Why do we do that to ourselves?  Don't let it happen.

I love this quote.  We often dwell on the meaningless, forget to savor what is good, and let our fears direct our path more than our dreams.  Why do we allow it?  Life is short.  Living it is our only real option.  Why not embrace it, take a deep breath and join the game.  May seem scary and risky, but it's more fun than sitting on the bench - trust me.

I loved this when I saw it. As a person who often jokes about how much I hate change, this provides real perspective.  No change - no butterflies.  No change - no better person.  Pretty compelling.

This one is one that I feel myself. I think Ashly once wrote a post about the freedom she felt after she realized crying was ok - and started letting herself do it when she needed it versus holding it back.  A weird place to go when you are always trying to repress, but the smiles are much sooner and much better when I do.

Love this look at the "the fingers on your hand". Totally true! All parts of it. Except I would be inclusive and say the ring finger is for that special person. Then again, my gay cousin just married her partner, so I'm a bit biased about that inclusive need.

And because it's Monday, I leave you with this:

who can not laugh at a fisting joke.
Enjoy!

And the winner is....

A tie!

I took 2650 photos!!

Yeah, burst mode is great - except you accidentally take a shit-load of photos. (Shit-load of course being a technical term.)

So who won the great guessing contest?

We had a tie. Both guessed 2000 photos.

Hubman and Ourchangingviews

I will choose an appropriate prize and send it to you, so email me with your addresses, please.  

Here are the final numbers:

16.26 gb of hard disk space consumed (thank you, RAW!)

2650 photos 

Taken in about 9hrs....

Between 2 days....

edited down to ....

drum roll....

1067 photos.

Because I did not use a telephoto, I had to crop every fucking picture. 

I joked one day that I should have had a contest as to how many photos were of Domenico. I had about 250 of him.  

I started deleting ones that were not really anything different because, well, when you stand in one place on the track, you tend to get the same shot over and over again.  This is how I was able to get rid of so many.  Also, while trying to get the camera settings right on day one, I had to toss about 1000 photos for various reasons - mostly because they were out of focus.  

Also, I learned that if you are trying to capture something specific, you will likely take photos of only the people doing those specific things.  I started being able to recognize the motos without even zooming into the shot because I had seen them so many times in other shots.  

I learned some cool tricks with Lightroom.  If only this article had shown up earlier as it was a lifesaver after I found.  Copy is my friend.

Overall, I'm pretty damn happy with my shots.  There are some things I would do differently in the editing, so I may still tweak them later. We'll see.  I need to look at something else for a while.

Here are some of them: