As he pulled me to give me a hug good-bye, he said into my ear "What do you want for your birthday?"
I I think I even told him I felt it was a loaded question. I mean, he is a sadist. There is no right answer to that question or all answers are right - depending on the angle you look at it.
"You don't even have a pie-in-the-sky wish? Like a gold plated Ferrari?"
It's funny because how do I explain that it is hard for me to make wishes like that or have birthday lists. How do I explain that as a kid, making a list usually resulted in uneasy glances between my parents as they try to sort through what they could afford to buy - if anything - on that list. How do I explain that as a result, I'm like my dad - happy with what I get - usually more worried about what others gets than myself. How do I not sound like an adult who still feels like that kid - afraid to want material - being happier with what I have.
And while that last one is very Zen/Buddhist or whatever you want to label it, it also saddens me a bit. While I am not that kid - and my family is not that family in terms of the financial woes - I still can't bring myself to dream about the what ifs in a way that is not pragmatic.
Hell, ask G how many times I'll mention a "what if" that is really feasible - and he ends up buying it for me because he knows I will not. My first DSLR? It took me 6 months before G finally said "buy it yourself and get what you want - or I'll buy it for you - but you are buying it." I wasn't wavering back and forth because of the price or because I wasn't sure what model to buy - but because I kept saying to myself "I don't need it." Ironic now that I cannot imagine my life without it.
So, what do I want for my birthday?
I'm not sure.
Just to be happy. To be healthy. To find normal again. To laugh more than I did last year. To stress less. And to be with those I care about and love on my day.
Cheesy?
Yep.
Granted, after watching so much Top Gear, I doubt I will turn down a Porche 911 GT2. :)
3 comments:
As the saying goes (and the song), the best things in life are free especially on a birthday. Not cheesy by any means.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6raAdR-1s0o
No, no, no! I love Top Gear and you should get a Bugatti Veyron Supersport version! ;)
Not cheesy about what you want. In fact, it is admirable.
I have an upcoming birthday, too, and the only monetary thing I can think of is large sums of money LOL. Since we're dipping our toes into the whole house-buying thing in a few years, we know we need to save up now.
Other things I want? To get paid doing what I love. I would be thrilled if for my birthday I had a few sex toy education workshops get booked. And the only thing I really, really want is time with my husband and dear friends. Unfortunately I don't think I'll be getting that one thing this year again. Maybe next year.
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