Signs you know your relationship is doomed to fail?
You both post your large relationship arguments on Facebook.
Including your breakup.
Younger brother #2 announced today on everyone's favorite social media site that his marriage has ended. This was how most of the immediate family was given the news - via a status update.
After I read it while at work, I shook my head and mentioned it to people around me. All were shocked that they would even do that - both announce the end of their marriage - on Facebook. What got them even more was how my SIL's family jumped all over his status update to explain why.
"If you cared more about your family than beer, this wouldn't happen."
My bro is not an alcoholic. Nor does he have any sort of issue with alcohol. In fact, I would trust him with my kids more than the other brother. Why? He's got the right attitude. He cares - he knows how to separate his emotional response for the perfect response. He is good at that.
And he always chose family over anything else. Always.
Right now, we are all waiting to hear from him. Brother #1 was pissed at how things went down. I can only assume that #2 is staying with him. I don't know.
Someone asked me today if this came as a surprise. Nope. Every time they had a spat, she would post some bullshit on Facebook. Her friends would give her the "poor girls" she wanted. Her snarky response would give her the other support that she wanted. And my bro was made to look like an idiot to everyone.....including his own family.
And, one would have to speculate that if this was how things were online, that things offline were just as bad. Yep. They were. Fights resulted in her telling more people about her side before she would even talk to him about it. She know how to totally leverage the rumor mill to her advantage. Going as far as including my parents and my other brother and SIL. Thankfully, I'm too far away (and scary) to approach as I think she senses I'd call bullshit on her immediately.
Do I want their marriage to end? I don't want anyone's marriage to end. But she doesn't know how to own her shit. Even going as far as using her child against my brother. My brother is the only real dad she has ever known. So I don't have a lot of respect for her.
All I can say is that I think more of the kid than either of the adults. Because, in the end, it's her that has the most hurt to have. Not them.
Either way, I can only hope one of them learns to keep their shit off of Facebook.
I know my little bro and I will be having THAT conversation soon.